Can You Write to Your Ex’s Lawyer? Family Law Tips for Self-Represented People

Listen to This Episode If You:

✉️ You’re self-represented in your family law matter

🤯 You’re feeling overwhelmed trying to respond to legal letters

⚖️ You’re unsure of your rights when communicating without a lawyer

📬 You need tips for writing clear, respectful, and protective responses

🚨 You’ve been told you must respond but don’t know where to start

🧾 You want to avoid common traps and stay legally safe

 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This is a general discussion and not legal advice. Please see a qualified lawyer for advice specific to your situation.

Episode Summary:
Can you write to your ex’s lawyer if you don’t have one yourself? What are the legal and strategic risks—and how can you protect yourself?

In this essential episode, we break down how to navigate communication in your family law matter when you’re self-represented. From tone and structure to legal obligations and emotional traps, we cover everything you need to know to respond with confidence and protect your position.

We also talk about when not to respond, what the Family Law Rules say about unrepresented parties, and what to do if the other side’s lawyer refuses to deal with you directly. If you’re facing legal letters, emotional pressure, or confusion about your next step—this episode is your guide.

 

⏱️ Episode Timeline – What We Discuss:

00:00 Introduction: Responding to Your Ex's Lawyer

01:45 Understanding the Stress of Legal Letters

04:13 What are the Rules for Communicating with Your Ex's Lawyer

06:31 Best Practices for Writing Legal Letters

15:43 Common Tactics in Family Lawyer Letters and How to Handle Them

19:42 Guidelines for Self-Represented Individuals in Family Law and Divorce

24:54 Handling Lawyer-Guided Mediation

25:16 When to Seek Legal Advice

25:43 Responding to Offers and Legal Letters in your Divorce

27:44 Managing Emotional Reactions in your Divorce

29:27 Timing and Professionalism in Legal Responses

31:44 Disagreeing Professionally in a letter to a family lawyer

36:26 Avoidant Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

38:02 High Conflict Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

39:36 Manipulative and Controlling Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

41:34 Amicable Personality Tips in Divorce Communication

45:17 Final Tips for Self-Represented Litigants

Resources

Case N Johnson (Appellant/Husband) and M L Johnson (Cross-Appellant/Wife) [1997] FamCA 32 (7 July 1997)

https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FamCA/1997/32.html?query=

RE: F Litigants in Person Guidelines [2001] FamCA 348 (4 June 2001)

http://www6.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FamCA/2001/348.html?query=

102na Information https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pubs/fv-info-sheet

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