Embrace the Gift of Now

Hello & welcome to the Grief Unplugged podcast. I am your host, Heather D. Horton.  Grief Unplugged is a podcast that frees professional women from the blockages of unresolved grief so they are able to find purpose in their pain and embrace their new “normal” while sustaining productivity at work and in life.

In episodes 1 & 2, I told my story about the event that changed the trajectory of my life and gave specific details of how I have navigated my 13-year grief journey. 

In episodes 3 through 7, I provided you with a vast toolkit of resources to begin shifting you from grief to a place of gratitude when you are ready. Episode 3 explored giving yourself permission to grieve as one of the most fundamental ways to begin moving forward instead of remaining stuck in your grief. In episode 4, I showed how you can stand firm in your faith and face your fears because there is nothing wrong with you.  You are not inadequate as Marianne Williamson, Our Deepest Fear, describes in her poem but you are greater than you could ever imagine because of where you are right now and what you have gone through. I also talked about what therapeutic support means and how you have to be intentional about it to support you on this journey. 

In episode 5, I showed you how to leverage your emotions, invite them to tea or your favorite non-alcoholic beverage and then escort them out the door and take back your power.  In episode 6, I showed you how to start to transition from focusing on the death/loss you experienced to remembering and honoring the life of the person you loved or the thing or situation that no longer exists.  In episode 7, we talked about the importance of Incorporating new traditions into old traditions as you navigate your grief journey. 

The focus today is taking all the tools in the toolkit and beginning to embrace the gift of now. If you knew you could handle anything that could/would happen to you, what would you be afraid of?  Nothing.  That’s what Susan Jeffers says in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.  Remember that whatever happens, you can handle it.  If you need to, feel free to listen to episodes 3-7 again as many times as necessary.  You can handle it. 

One way to maintain your momentum on your grief journey is to create a gratitude journal.  Every day for the next 30 days, I want you to write down 3-5 things for which you are grateful.  At the end of the 30 days, you could create an ebook to help others be able to find that same gratitude in their lives or even choose to live another day after experiencing loss.  I believe small gestures like this will help to empower individuals, impact communities and ultimately change the world. 

I encourage you to be the change you want to see in the world.  You have an obligation to live your life for the rest of your life.  When you get to a state of being powerful, you begin to openly affirm what your legacy will be, what your life will look like in six months, one year from now.  What deferred or unfulfilled dream(s) are you ready to pursue now that you’ve begun to shift your grief to gratitude?  If you find it challenging to determine what your legacy will be, I want you to think about some causes/activities you were passionate about in the past.  What excited you about that cause/activity?  What have you done in your past that you think you could stick to now?  What will you celebrate in three months?  I encourage you to journal your answers to these questions to help you map out the future you. 

I hope you realize that you are developing the blueprint for a successful journey to a place of peace, love, and gratitude.  Give yourself permission to move beyond grief.  Embrace the journey, embrace who you are, embrace all there is……  Melodie Beattie who wrote the book, The Grief Club, says “Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity.  It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” Remember everything in life is temporary, including life itself.  

Decide to Say Yes to the Gift of Now.  As renowned Certified Professional Coach Dora Carpenter says, when you decide to say yes to the gift of now, no one and nothing can shake your tree.  When you are ready, I want you to yield to the present, embrace the possibilities of your potential, and surrender to the outcome.  In August 2017, I decided to say yes to the gift of now.  I realized that my personal story of overcoming adversity had the ability to redirect the trajectory of individual lives, empower communities and change the world.   I accepted the call to action and decided to no longer keep my story to myself.  I resigned from my Federal government career after 18+ years to help professional women navigate through the wilderness of grief by leveraging their emotions to find purpose in their pain, to embrace their new normal and sustain productivity in their personal lives and their careers. 

How did you wake up this morning?  If you didn’t wake up happy, why not?  When you wake up each morning, I want you to ask God four things before your feet hit the floor - What would you have me do, where would you have me go, what would you have me say and to whom would you have me say this.  Then take a moment to listen for the answers before starting your day.  I want you to stop existing and start living.  Friends, the best is yet to come when you are able to move from grief to gratitude and embrace the gift of now.  To further maintain that momentum, you need to create a personal power plan. 

You need you to set powerful intentions for your life starting now.  At the beginning of each month, I want you to set powerful intentions as if it was the last day of the month and your intentions had already come true. Write your intentions in the present tense; I have, I am, not I will.  For example, I am 5 lbs lighter.  I have completed a 5K.  Use positive, inspiring, and concise language.  Be direct, strip away any doubt, worry or hesitation. Your words have power, they speak to your mind.  When you set powerful intentions, you create your own life and circumstances instead of settling for what someone hands to you or waiting for a handout.  If you are bold enough, I challenge you to also set three powerful intentions for your life.  Think about it as if it were the last day of your life and your intentions had already come true.  What would you family say about your legacy when making your final arrangements?  As part of your personal power plan, I need you to eliminate all excuses.  Know the obstacles that lie ahead for you and plan for them.  Also celebrate your wins, whether you make baby steps or huge leaps.  Always find something for which you are grateful.  And constantly evaluate your support system – your circle of influence.  Make sure your support system is always supporting you even when they don’t agree with you.  You see, you need the following people in your circle of influence: 

Peers – those who are where you are and supporting you, your network of likeminded friends & associates;

Mentors - those who are where you want to be, you look up to them;

Those who you can mentor - you only want those that really want to give back and help – if you give 100% and they give you 100% - who appreciate your help. 

The people that are the closest to you (your family) may not be as excited with you about this new journey you are on – it’s called innocent envy.  Instead of helping you, they may retreat or distance themselves from you.  I need you to be ready for that! Don’t be disappointed, don’t let anyone or anything steal your dream, let nothing or no one shake your tree.  Embrace the gift and possibilities of now!  Go in peace and prosper! 

I want to thank you for listening to this episode. I hope you will join us for our next episode of the Grief Unplugged podcast.  I truly believe that community = strength.  So, if you are interested in engaging further with our community, you can join our private FB group, Professional Women Transcending Grief by searching for my FB business page -  @hortonheatherd, and click Visit Group right under my picture! 

If you are interested in one-on-one grief support, access my website at www.heatherdhorton.com and click on GET SUPPORT to schedule your breakthrough session and learn more about my 90-day intensive grief coaching program, Reclaiming Your Power.  

To stay engaged with the podcast, search for Grief Unplugged on iTunes, GooglePlay, SoundCloud or Libsyn.  Please subscribe to the podcast, so you know when the next episode is available and feel free to post a review, let me know what topics you want to hear discussed and share the podcast with your tribe.  Until next time, keep moving forward.