370: Savoring the Many Benefits of Being Single at Heart, my talk with author Dr. Bella DePaulo
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Release Date: 12/06/2023
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
To look up the definition of art through an academic lens is to discover there is no one agreed upon definition of art, and to my eye that is what makes it all the more beautiful to cultivate in the way we live each of our lives if we are to heed the above quote's encouragement of action. Earlier this week, a new series began here on TSLL that will explore and share Who TSLL is Written For? And What Lies at the Heart of Living Simply Luxuriously. and how thinking works as a unit with being compassionate, something we will talk about in-depth in episode #410. The foundational premise is yep,...
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The journey of learning anything new, putting in the hours, the practice, and progressing in a controlled environment eventually must make its way into the real-world to ensure any confidence we have gained is sound. Over the past three years, as many TSLL riders and listeners of the podcast know, I enrolled in French language classes (12 in total) with Washington D.C.'s Alliance de Français through their online classes. Completing through FR 204 (B 1.3) in February of this year, I had met my goal and set about heading to France in March, not having been there since 2022 when upon returning...
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“'I think that’s just how life panned out. I had children and it was difficult to have a relationship with a man who was not the father. And I started thinking, OK, I’ll take care of the children and then when they’re grown up, I’ll be available for a partner. But then I found, I have to say, the great serenity of being single.'” She pauses, as if to savour the words. “'And if I hadn’t, I don’t think I would have been able to do all that I’ve done. I have freedom of movement.'”—Isabella Rossellini When I recently shared above about why she, initially...
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"Food need not be extravagant, complicated, or mysterious to be good. Quite the contrary." —Patricia Wells in her Introduction to Robert Olney's cookbook Whether you love cooking, loathe cooking or fall anywhere in between, we all need to eat. And if we eat well - a marriage of nutritive and delicious - we give ourself a very good shot at living a long and wonderful life. But we aren't born knowing how to cook. We have to choose to learn it, and depending upon our experience with food and the approach others took in how meals came together, we may have a whole host of beliefs about what...
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"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting behavior - anger, aggressiveness - passive or active. When we cling to perfection at all costs, avoid emotions especially during difficult times, have co-dependent relationships (i.e are unable to be alone for any duration of time), agree to whatever is asked of us whether we are truly able to or not, crave external validation, are...
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As we are in the middle of TSLL's 7th Annual British Week, I wanted to share with you 11 classic contemporary British wardrobe details for achieving effortless style. Each item and outfit shared below is not dependent on trends of the season, of which London is definitely at the forefront when it comes to embracing new and setting new trends. Rather, whether you live or simply visit Britain, whether you are staying in the city of London or stepping out into the countryside, these outfits and items can be relied upon to come together for a dependable style that will enable you to simply enjoy...
info_outlineThe Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
"Buddhism is not a belief system. It's not about accepting certain tenets or believing a set of claims or principles. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's about examining the world clearly and carefully, about testing everything and every idea. Buddhism is about seeing. It's about knowing rather than believing or hoping or wishing. It's also about not being afraid to examine anything and everything, including our own personal agendas . . . The message is always to examine and see for yourself. When you see for yourself what is true—and that's really the only way that you can genuinely...
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"With the right training, nutrition, lifestyle strategies, and the power of the mind, women in their fifties and beyond can still [accomplish amazing feats] . . . women prove every day that our best years can be ahead of us no matter how old we are now . . . you've accumulated hard-earned wisdom and power over the years. You're higher on the totem pole of life. There are countless opportunities that lie ahead." —Dr. Stacy Sims, phD, International exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist The beautiful gift of stepping into another year of life is that we have the opportunity, but...
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“France is Europe’s most diverse, tasty, and exciting country to explore. It’s a cultural bouillabaisse that surprises travelers with its varied, complex flavors.” —Rick Steves The rain in Bretagne/Brittany. The dry hot heat in Provence. The bustle of Paris. The butter in Normandy (and Brittany). I could go on and on about the specialty delights and signature details in each of the many regions of France because as many of you know who have had the special opportunity to spend time on the terra firma of France, France is full of wonder and deliciousness to savor. To have only...
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When beginning this journey back in September 2022, I never imagined I would feel comfortable speaking French without thinking too far ahead of myself nor caring if I spoke incorrectly (which is still quite often), but two and a half years later, it has happened! Imperfect French is being spoken and the fundamentals are more confidently understood than ever before. Wahoo! While having attempted to take a French language class here and there over the past two years beginning when I was 20 back in college, I never made it past the 103. It took me three attempts, but finally, I made it all the...
info_outline"My mission in putting the single at heart on the map is to rewrite what it means to be single. Single life, to those of us who are single at heart, is a joyful place, a place to learn and grow. It is a big-hearted, expansive, meaningful life full of possibilities . . . intimacy, to us, is personal; in that domain as in all others, we follow our hearts rather than the cultural rulebooks. We chart our own life courses, with meaningfulness, psychological richness, and authenticity as our guide." —Dr. Bella DePaulo, author of Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life
Joining me on the podcast today is a guest who has courageously chosen to share that she thoroughly and unapologetically savors living a single life. The leading expert on single living, Dr. Bella DePaulo dispels the myths that pervade modern-day (and historic) cultures around the world when it comes to being single by looking at the research that is often cherry-picked and misleading as it speaks to in what type of relationship status one finds the most happiness. But most importantly, in her new book that was just released yesterday December 5th (2023), Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, she focuses on an abundance of findings that reveal the many benefits of living single. From improved health and deeper life satisfaction as we age.
Thankfully, so much of what is portrayed in media - films, books, television, pretty much everywhere - is not an accurate depiction of where and how happiness is found. By no means is Single at Heart an anti-marriage or anti-couple book, but rather a book that reveals that those of us who have chosen to be single, who find it far more fulfilling than being in a traditional couple, need only trust our inner compass to continue to choose the life that brings us fulfillment. As she points out, the world would be far more peaceful and content if we would trust what we know to be true of ourselves - those who wish to be in a couple would find people who truly wanted to be in a couple, and those who savored their single life would not feel forced to choose a life that was not nourishing.
Tune in to today's conversation where we will talk about the priority and value of freedom as well as benefits of solitude for the Single at Heart, and also speak to how those who are widows/widowers, as well as divorcees, can step into a new chapter of revelation about where and how joy can be cultivated. Dr. DePaulo discusses the importance of nurturing The Ones rather than just The One and reminds us that courageously saying we love our single life is what is needed to change the view that the culture errantly holds on to.