370: Savoring the Many Benefits of Being Single at Heart, my talk with author Dr. Bella DePaulo
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Release Date: 12/06/2023
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
“The relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship we will ever have, and we will have to continuously work on that relationship to break through the barriers that prevent us from true emotional intimacy with another person.” —Jillian Turecki With a new year's beginning, the idea of love may be dancing about on our intentions list. But in order to successfully experience real love, we need to build a foundation to be able to identify it, choose it, and then nurture it. Jillian Turecki's successful podcast shares advice on how to build healthy and...
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Welcome to the first mini-episode of TSLL's new limited series, Un Moment de Méditation/Moment of Meditation. Find the complete text on The Simply Luxurious Life blog -
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A new limited series begins in 2026, offering guided meditation to help listeners deepen their mindfulness practice. Learn more by listening to this trailer. Un Moment de Méditation is a weekly limited series that will run for one year, sharing one mini-episode each Sunday afternoon, about 5 minutes in length. This new mini series is in addition to the regular episodes of The Simple Sophisticate podcast that will continue to be available on the 1st and 3rd Wednesdays of each month. I invite you to enjoy me when we begin on Sunday, January 4th, both here, where you enjoy your...
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"The moment being alone stops bothering you, your whole life levels up." With the holidays upon us, I have come to discover an unexpected gift of enjoying my own company during this time of year - the realization of what I most enjoy about the holidays. And here's the catch: when it is chosen, it is liberating. It's clarifying, and as the quote above acknowledges, it is life-elevating. This doesn't mean we are alone 24 hours a day, or even live alone. What solitude, regularly savored, gives us is the life we say we want, but either haven't yet realized or haven't yet trusted to be dependable...
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"Art is a language without words." —Kate Bryan, author of Why art? Why bring it into our lives? Why spend our hard-earned money on it? We often hear about the skyrocketing headline-making prices of paintings being sold at auction, but what's the point of purchasing something if the entire reason is to accrue value to sell later? The primary objective, Bryan shares, in writing this book, is to remove the assumed 'closed doors' or air of snobbery about art that she admits the art world itself has constructed. But, and she makes a strong argument, art, seeing it, appreciating it, making it, is...
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"The more you practice reflection and appreciation, the more you build a reservoir of evidence that you can draw from in difficult times. You start ot see patterns. You start to recognize that while life has its ups and downs, you have consistently found a way to navigate them. You start to trust yourself more deeply. And that trust—that bone-deep knowing that you can handle whatever comes—is the foundation of true inner peace." —Daniel Chidiac, author of What if I told you that your inner compass knows the way to your most fulfilling way of living is as certain as the sun rising...
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“The best use of money is a tool to leverage who you are, but never to define who you are.”—Morgan Housel, author of The Art of Spending Money If you ever want to know what a culture values, what a country values, look at their tax laws. I will never forget the wisdom shared by Martin Ginsberg, a tax attorney and the husband of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, on how a country’s subsidies reveal the guiding values of its populace through tax breaks or credits. I share this because, simply because it is the law, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be the law that guides your...
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“You live a new life for every language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.” ―Czech proverb Did you know that 92% of students in Europe learn another language in school, and nearly a quarter of Canadians can hold a conversation in both English and French. Roughly one out of every two people on the planet knows at least two languages, and three out of four humans don’t speak English. (source: (American Council on the Teaching of Foreign Languages) That may sound hyperbolic or pie-in-the-sky, but take a moment and consider what a democracy rests upon:...
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"Joy is the experience of contentment, gratitude, and meaning, regardless of our external circumstance. Joy is not simply feeling happy. Joy encompasses quality of life and the ability to contribute to the world with a sense of meaning and purpose . . . Joy, by definition, cannot be the goal." —Dr. Kerry Burnight, author of A mindset shift. A lifestyle choice. Rather than 'choosing joy' a concept that is vast in its meaning as what brings one person joy will be different from another's, it is rather knowing how to cultivate joy. What we choose are the ways to bring more joy into our life....
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"Just as we are wired to be in connection with each other, we are wired with an impulse to help, with an instinct for compassion." —Deb Dana, author of Empathy in action. While to empathize with another is a good step, a step that acknowledges our shared humanity, it is when we are motivated to act to alleviate the suffering that it becomes compassion. This compassion we are going to talk about today is a gift we give others as much as we need to give it to ourselves. Compassion is a choice, but it is a natural choice to choose and each time we do, along with being curious and honoring our...
info_outline"My mission in putting the single at heart on the map is to rewrite what it means to be single. Single life, to those of us who are single at heart, is a joyful place, a place to learn and grow. It is a big-hearted, expansive, meaningful life full of possibilities . . . intimacy, to us, is personal; in that domain as in all others, we follow our hearts rather than the cultural rulebooks. We chart our own life courses, with meaningfulness, psychological richness, and authenticity as our guide." —Dr. Bella DePaulo, author of Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life
Joining me on the podcast today is a guest who has courageously chosen to share that she thoroughly and unapologetically savors living a single life. The leading expert on single living, Dr. Bella DePaulo dispels the myths that pervade modern-day (and historic) cultures around the world when it comes to being single by looking at the research that is often cherry-picked and misleading as it speaks to in what type of relationship status one finds the most happiness. But most importantly, in her new book that was just released yesterday December 5th (2023), Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, she focuses on an abundance of findings that reveal the many benefits of living single. From improved health and deeper life satisfaction as we age.
Thankfully, so much of what is portrayed in media - films, books, television, pretty much everywhere - is not an accurate depiction of where and how happiness is found. By no means is Single at Heart an anti-marriage or anti-couple book, but rather a book that reveals that those of us who have chosen to be single, who find it far more fulfilling than being in a traditional couple, need only trust our inner compass to continue to choose the life that brings us fulfillment. As she points out, the world would be far more peaceful and content if we would trust what we know to be true of ourselves - those who wish to be in a couple would find people who truly wanted to be in a couple, and those who savored their single life would not feel forced to choose a life that was not nourishing.
Tune in to today's conversation where we will talk about the priority and value of freedom as well as benefits of solitude for the Single at Heart, and also speak to how those who are widows/widowers, as well as divorcees, can step into a new chapter of revelation about where and how joy can be cultivated. Dr. DePaulo discusses the importance of nurturing The Ones rather than just The One and reminds us that courageously saying we love our single life is what is needed to change the view that the culture errantly holds on to.