370: Savoring the Many Benefits of Being Single at Heart, my talk with author Dr. Bella DePaulo
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
Release Date: 12/06/2023
The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style
"Food need not be extravagant, complicated, or mysterious to be good. Quite the contrary." —Patricia Wells in her Introduction to Robert Olney's cookbook Whether you love cooking, loathe cooking or fall anywhere in between, we all need to eat. And if we eat well - a marriage of nutritive and delicious - we give ourself a very good shot at living a long and wonderful life. But we aren't born knowing how to cook. We have to choose to learn it, and depending upon our experience with food and the approach others took in how meals came together, we may have a whole host of beliefs about what...
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"Love has the shape and feel of water. It is simultaneously flexible and powerful. It can adapt and roar; it can also be silently nourishing." –Yung Pueblo, We know we need to heal when we slip into being defensive, reactive or regress into any self-protecting behavior - anger, aggressiveness - passive or active. When we cling to perfection at all costs, avoid emotions especially during difficult times, have co-dependent relationships (i.e are unable to be alone for any duration of time), agree to whatever is asked of us whether we are truly able to or not, crave external validation, are...
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As we are in the middle of TSLL's 7th Annual British Week, I wanted to share with you 11 classic contemporary British wardrobe details for achieving effortless style. Each item and outfit shared below is not dependent on trends of the season, of which London is definitely at the forefront when it comes to embracing new and setting new trends. Rather, whether you live or simply visit Britain, whether you are staying in the city of London or stepping out into the countryside, these outfits and items can be relied upon to come together for a dependable style that will enable you to simply enjoy...
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"Buddhism is not a belief system. It's not about accepting certain tenets or believing a set of claims or principles. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's about examining the world clearly and carefully, about testing everything and every idea. Buddhism is about seeing. It's about knowing rather than believing or hoping or wishing. It's also about not being afraid to examine anything and everything, including our own personal agendas . . . The message is always to examine and see for yourself. When you see for yourself what is true—and that's really the only way that you can genuinely...
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"With the right training, nutrition, lifestyle strategies, and the power of the mind, women in their fifties and beyond can still [accomplish amazing feats] . . . women prove every day that our best years can be ahead of us no matter how old we are now . . . you've accumulated hard-earned wisdom and power over the years. You're higher on the totem pole of life. There are countless opportunities that lie ahead." —Dr. Stacy Sims, phD, International exercise physiologist and nutrition scientist The beautiful gift of stepping into another year of life is that we have the opportunity, but...
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“France is Europe’s most diverse, tasty, and exciting country to explore. It’s a cultural bouillabaisse that surprises travelers with its varied, complex flavors.” —Rick Steves The rain in Bretagne/Brittany. The dry hot heat in Provence. The bustle of Paris. The butter in Normandy (and Brittany). I could go on and on about the specialty delights and signature details in each of the many regions of France because as many of you know who have had the special opportunity to spend time on the terra firma of France, France is full of wonder and deliciousness to savor. To have only...
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When beginning this journey back in September 2022, I never imagined I would feel comfortable speaking French without thinking too far ahead of myself nor caring if I spoke incorrectly (which is still quite often), but two and a half years later, it has happened! Imperfect French is being spoken and the fundamentals are more confidently understood than ever before. Wahoo! While having attempted to take a French language class here and there over the past two years beginning when I was 20 back in college, I never made it past the 103. It took me three attempts, but finally, I made it all the...
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There is an awareness available to anyone who steps fully into their forties. It often happens a couple of years after turning the big 4 - 0, but it's there, waiting for each of us to realize we are half-way through (if we are so fortunate to live into our 90s) this beautiful gift called life. This awareness prompts courage and discipline as well as motivation to just get about the business of living out the dreams we may have been too timid to try in our earlier years. We begin to see that taking care of our health is more than worth the investment. We begin to know that loving fully is the...
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"Taking back your power means reclaiming responsibility for your life. It means demanding more of yourself because time is ticking, and you've wasted enough of it worrying about things that don't matter. It means being laser focused on the things you can control, and not giving a single second to the things you can't . . . Let Me create a better life. A life that makes me proud. A life that makes me happy. A life where I use my precious energy to enjoy every single moment I will have . . . all it takes is two simple words: Let Me." —Mel Robbins, from her latest book Let me. With good...
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With Valentine's Day right around the corner, an annual holiday to celebrate love, those we love in all its different relationship forms, it can be helpful to be reminded that love doesn't have a hierarchy. One type of relationship be it a friendship, a spouse, a parent/child, a pet companion, a universal love for humanity, self-love - isn't more or less important, but merely other avenues of giving and receiving love. Love, when it is true, comes in a variety of forms. Shared in back in October about unconditional love, Andy Puddicombe reminds, “The very definition of unconditional love is...
info_outline"My mission in putting the single at heart on the map is to rewrite what it means to be single. Single life, to those of us who are single at heart, is a joyful place, a place to learn and grow. It is a big-hearted, expansive, meaningful life full of possibilities . . . intimacy, to us, is personal; in that domain as in all others, we follow our hearts rather than the cultural rulebooks. We chart our own life courses, with meaningfulness, psychological richness, and authenticity as our guide." —Dr. Bella DePaulo, author of Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life
Joining me on the podcast today is a guest who has courageously chosen to share that she thoroughly and unapologetically savors living a single life. The leading expert on single living, Dr. Bella DePaulo dispels the myths that pervade modern-day (and historic) cultures around the world when it comes to being single by looking at the research that is often cherry-picked and misleading as it speaks to in what type of relationship status one finds the most happiness. But most importantly, in her new book that was just released yesterday December 5th (2023), Single at Heart: The Power, Freedom, and Heart-Filling Joy of Single Life, she focuses on an abundance of findings that reveal the many benefits of living single. From improved health and deeper life satisfaction as we age.
Thankfully, so much of what is portrayed in media - films, books, television, pretty much everywhere - is not an accurate depiction of where and how happiness is found. By no means is Single at Heart an anti-marriage or anti-couple book, but rather a book that reveals that those of us who have chosen to be single, who find it far more fulfilling than being in a traditional couple, need only trust our inner compass to continue to choose the life that brings us fulfillment. As she points out, the world would be far more peaceful and content if we would trust what we know to be true of ourselves - those who wish to be in a couple would find people who truly wanted to be in a couple, and those who savored their single life would not feel forced to choose a life that was not nourishing.
Tune in to today's conversation where we will talk about the priority and value of freedom as well as benefits of solitude for the Single at Heart, and also speak to how those who are widows/widowers, as well as divorcees, can step into a new chapter of revelation about where and how joy can be cultivated. Dr. DePaulo discusses the importance of nurturing The Ones rather than just The One and reminds us that courageously saying we love our single life is what is needed to change the view that the culture errantly holds on to.