“Why ‘Bad Behavior’ Isn’t Bad Parenting — And the Harmful ‘Raised Right’ Myth About Autism & ADHD”
Release Date: 04/09/2026
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
If you’ve ever felt that gut punch… The side eye. The comment. The subtle (or not so subtle) message that your child is “too much”… or that you’re somehow getting it wrong as a parent… I get it! In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I’m talking about something that so many parents and therapists experience… but we don’t talk about enough: The “good kid / bad kid” narrative The “they were raised right” comments And the damage this causes for autistic and ADHD kids — and their families This episode was inspired by two real-life moments that happened just...
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I want to start with something I say to burned-out moms — and I mean it every single time I say it: Your burnout makes sense. Not the kind of "makes sense" that's just being nice. The kind that means there is a real, biological, neurological explanation for why you feel the way you feel. And it started long before you became a mom. That's a nervous system that was already running on empty — and finally hit its limit. In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth LeForest — AuDHD somatic coach, trauma-informed practitioner, and someone who has lived this from the inside out. We go deep, and...
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Let me tell you about the time I performed Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at my elementary school talent show. I was nine. I rolled around on the floor. I sang every single word. I thought the audience was speechless because I was that talented. I had absolutely no idea what the word virgin meant. Nobody asked what song I'd picked. Nobody explained it to me. And I didn't know what I didn't know. This episode is full of stories like that one — real, honest, cringe-worthy stories from my own childhood as an autistic and ADHD kid navigating a world full of words, slang, and confusing situations. The...
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When adults tell autistic or ADHD children to be more accountable — to take more responsibility, to stop making excuses, admit when they're wrong — I understand exactly where that's coming from. The fear underneath it is real. The exhaustion is real. But here's what I also know: when we demand accountability and responsibility through shame, we're not teaching our neurodivergent kids anything. We're just making them feel bad about who they are. In this episode, I'm getting honest about something most of us don't talk about — the massive gap between what parents mean when they say...
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ADHD & Autism: Why Chores Are So Hard and How To Teach Chores in a Way That Actually Works:) Why do chores turn into power struggles in so many ADHD and autistic families? It’s not laziness. It’s not defiance. And it’s definitely not a character flaw. In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Holly Blanc Moses sits down with adolescent psychologist Dr. Cam Caswell to unpack why chores feel like a nightmare for neurodivergent kids and teens. If you’re parenting a child with ADHD or autism and struggling with: Executive functioning challenges Chore refusal Emotional...
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Why are morning routines and bedtime routines so hard for ADHD and autistic kids? If your mornings feel chaotic… If bedtime turns into battles… If you’ve tried “sleep hygiene,” reward charts, reminders, and it still falls apart… This episode is for you. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Dr. Peyton Gemmell to talk about why routines are especially difficult for neurodivergent kids and teens — and what actually helps. Here’s what I need you to hear: It’s not laziness. It’s not defiance. It’s executive functioning, sensory processing, transitions,...
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What if the problem isn’t motivation… but misunderstanding? In this episode, we dive deep into executive functioning and the powerful role of “why” in understanding ADHD and neurodivergent children and teens. Joining me is Dani Donovan — ADHD advocate, comic artist, and author of The Anti-Planner — for an honest and validating conversation about procrastination, overwhelm, shame, and the myth of laziness. If you’ve ever thought: “Why won’t they just do it?” “They know what to do — so why aren’t they doing it?” “Am I doing something wrong as a parent?” “Why...
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When I was in first grade, I had a plan for Valentine's Day. A very thoughtful, very Holly plan. Every classmate was getting a Valentine. But not every classmate was getting the same coin taped inside. There were the quarter kids. The dime kids. The nickel kids. The penny kids. And one classmate got nothing. My teacher was not happy. My parents were not happy. And not one single adult that day asked me why I did it. That part — the part where no one asked — is what this episode is really about. In this episode, I talk about: ▸ The full story of the Valentine's Day coin system (and...
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People Pleasing Is Dangerous for Autistic & ADHD Kids: What Parents and Therapists Need to Know People pleasing is often labeled as being kind, flexible, or mature. But for autistic and ADHD children and teens, people pleasing is often something else entirely. It’s a self-protective survival strategy—one rooted in fear of rejection, emotional pain, and the belief that their needs are “too much.” In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I talk about why people pleasing is especially risky for neurodivergent kids and teens, how it develops, and the early warning signs adults often...
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We use the word friend all the time—at school, at home, on the playground. “Line up, friends.” “We don’t hit our friends.” “That’s my friend from work.” It sounds warm and inclusive, and it’s almost always said with good intentions. But for many autistic and ADHD children, language is taken literally. When we tell them everyone is their friend, they believe us. And then they expect those people to act like friends—to include them, play with them, and treat them kindly. When that doesn’t happen, the confusion can turn into hurt, self-blame, anxiety, and even depression....
info_outlineIf you’ve ever felt that gut punch…
The side eye.
The comment.
The subtle (or not so subtle) message that your child is “too much”…
or that you’re somehow getting it wrong as a parent…
I get it!
In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I’m talking about something that so many parents and therapists experience… but we don’t talk about enough:
- The “good kid / bad kid” narrative
- The “they were raised right” comments
- And the damage this causes for autistic and ADHD kids — and their families
This episode was inspired by two real-life moments that happened just days apart… and they both reminded me how deeply rooted these beliefs are in our society.
Here’s what we dive into:
- Why behavior is often misunderstood (and what’s actually underneath it)
- How neurological differences are mistaken for “bad behavior”
- Why shame is NOT a teaching tool (and what it actually does)
- The emotional toll on parents of autistic and ADHD children
- How masking develops — and why it can be dangerous
- Why families begin to withdraw and isolate
- The invisible, extraordinary work of neurodivergent parenting
This episode is for you if:
- You’re parenting an autistic or ADHD child and feel judged or misunderstood
- You’re a therapist, counselor, or psychologist supporting neurodivergent kids
- You’ve ever wondered why your child’s behavior doesn’t “match” expectations
- You’re trying to understand meltdowns, shutdowns, and emotional regulation
- You want a neurodiversity-affirming approach
You are going to LOVE this episode:)
Sincerely, Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist
P.S. I've got more goodness for you! 🥁🥁🥁🥁
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About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About the Podcast
The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.