Why Some Tasks Feel Impossible for Autistic & ADHD Kids: Visual-Spatial Skills, Executive Functioning, and the Cost of Shame
Release Date: 06/18/2026
Why Some Tasks Feel Impossible for Autistic & ADHD Kids: Visual-Spatial Skills, Executive Functioning, and the Cost of Shame
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
Why does your autistic or ADHD child struggle with things that seem easy for everyone else? Maybe they can't keep their room organized. Maybe they lose things constantly. Maybe they seem overwhelmed by tasks that other children complete without much effort. And maybe you've wondered... "Are they just not trying?" In this episode, I share a personal story that completely changed the way I think about strengths, executive functioning, and why some tasks feel impossible for certain brains. When I opened the door to a cluttered closet at my clinic, I felt immediate overwhelm, shame, and paralysis....
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Small Language Shifts That Protect The Mental Health of Autistic & ADHD Children
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
The Small Language Shifts That Protect the Mental Health of Neurodivergent Kids What if some of the most common words we use with autistic and ADHD children are actually creating confusion, shame, masking and self-doubt? Words like: • Respectful • Responsible • Pay attention • Motivated • Trustworthy • Nice • Confident and on and on Most of us use these words every day without thinking twice. But for many neurodivergent children and teens, these words can feel vague, confusing, and impossible to understand. When children don't know exactly what is expected of them, they aren't...
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Are We Really Listening to Autistic & ADHD Children?
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
I was in the hospital for seven days recently. Scared. Exhausted. Completely out of control of what was happening to my body. In the middle of all of it — a nurse walked in and asked if I wanted a blanket. It sounds small. It wasn't. Because in that moment, someone was asking what I needed. And I couldn't stop thinking about how rarely that happens... especially for neurodivergent kids. We tell them to use their words. We say, "Come to me before it gets to be too much." But when they do — when they say it's too loud, the clothes are itchy, I can't handle the cafeteria — too often what...
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Autism, ADHD & Anxiety: Trying to Be “Good Enough” Almost Killed Me
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
This episode is deeply personal. Today, I’m sharing a part of my story that I've hidden for a very long time. Elizabeth Le Forest is walking with me through painful topics such as anxiety, perfectionism, chronic illness, masking, people pleasing, burnout, and what happens when a neurodivergent person spends their life trying to prove they are worthy of love, belonging, and support. For years, I wore a heavy mask. I learned to push through it all with a smile Rejection Exhaustion Pain. Fear. Overwhelm. I learned to disconnect from my body and my needs because somewhere along the...
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“Why ‘Bad Behavior’ Isn’t Bad Parenting — And the Harmful ‘Raised Right’ Myth About Autism & ADHD”
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
If you’ve ever felt that gut punch… The side eye. The comment. The subtle (or not so subtle) message that your child is “too much”… or that you’re somehow getting it wrong as a parent… I get it! In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, I’m talking about something that so many parents and therapists experience… but we don’t talk about enough: The “good kid / bad kid” narrative The “they were raised right” comments And the damage this causes for autistic and ADHD kids — and their families This episode was inspired by two real-life moments that happened just...
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Neurodivergent Moms of Autistic & ADHD Kids: Your Burnout Makes Sense & It Didn't Start With Motherhood
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
I want to start with something I say to burned-out moms — and I mean it every single time I say it: Your burnout makes sense. Not the kind of "makes sense" that's just being nice. The kind that means there is a real, biological, neurological explanation for why you feel the way you feel. And it started long before you became a mom. That's a nervous system that was already running on empty — and finally hit its limit. In this episode, I'm joined by Elizabeth LeForest — AuDHD somatic coach, trauma-informed practitioner, and someone who has lived this from the inside out. We go deep, and...
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Sex, Drugs & What Neurodivergent Kids Actually Hear — And Why Safe Communication Changes Everything
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
Let me tell you about the time I performed Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at my elementary school talent show. I was nine. I rolled around on the floor. I sang every single word. I thought the audience was speechless because I was that talented. I had absolutely no idea what the word virgin meant. Nobody asked what song I'd picked. Nobody explained it to me. And I didn't know what I didn't know. This episode is full of stories like that one — real, honest, cringe-worthy stories from my own childhood as an autistic and ADHD kid navigating a world full of words, slang, and confusing situations. The...
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Executive Functioning, ADHD & Autism: 5 Ways to Teach Accountability Without Shame
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
When adults tell autistic or ADHD children to be more accountable — to take more responsibility, to stop making excuses, admit when they're wrong — I understand exactly where that's coming from. The fear underneath it is real. The exhaustion is real. But here's what I also know: when we demand accountability and responsibility through shame, we're not teaching our neurodivergent kids anything. We're just making them feel bad about who they are. In this episode, I'm getting honest about something most of us don't talk about — the massive gap between what parents mean when they say...
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Autism & ADHD: Effective Ways to Teach Chores
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
ADHD & Autism: Why Chores Are So Hard and How To Teach Chores in a Way That Actually Works:) Why do chores turn into power struggles in so many ADHD and autistic families? It’s not laziness. It’s not defiance. And it’s definitely not a character flaw. In this episode of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Holly Blanc Moses sits down with adolescent psychologist Dr. Cam Caswell to unpack why chores feel like a nightmare for neurodivergent kids and teens. If you’re parenting a child with ADHD or autism and struggling with: Executive functioning challenges Chore refusal Emotional...
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Why Morning and Bedtime Routines Are So Hard for ADHD and Autistic Kids — And the Practical Supports That Help
THE AUTISM ADHD PODCAST
Why are morning routines and bedtime routines so hard for ADHD and autistic kids? If your mornings feel chaotic… If bedtime turns into battles… If you’ve tried “sleep hygiene,” reward charts, reminders, and it still falls apart… This episode is for you. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Dr. Peyton Gemmell to talk about why routines are especially difficult for neurodivergent kids and teens — and what actually helps. Here’s what I need you to hear: It’s not laziness. It’s not defiance. It’s executive functioning, sensory processing, transitions,...
info_outlineWhy does your autistic or ADHD child struggle with things that seem easy for everyone else?
Maybe they can't keep their room organized. Maybe they lose things constantly. Maybe they seem overwhelmed by tasks that other children complete without much effort.
And maybe you've wondered...
"Are they just not trying?"
In this episode, I share a personal story that completely changed the way I think about strengths, executive functioning, and why some tasks feel impossible for certain brains.
When I opened the door to a cluttered closet at my clinic, I felt immediate overwhelm, shame, and paralysis. The teenager I hired to organize it had the exact opposite reaction—excitement, energy, and endless ideas.
Same closet. Different brains. Different strengths.
Using my own experiences as an autistic and ADHD psychologist, I discuss how visual-spatial differences and executive functioning challenges can impact organization, problem-solving, learning, navigation, daily living skills, and self-confidence.
We also explore why shame doesn't help autistic and ADHD children develop skills, and how repeatedly being told they're lazy, or not trying hard enough, can have lasting effects on their mental health and self-esteem.
In this episode, you'll learn:
• Why some autistic and ADHD children struggle with organization, planning and cleaning their rooms
• How executive functioning and visual-spatial abilities affect daily life
• Why shame is not a strategy
• How to identify and build on strengths
• Ways parents, educators, and therapists can provide support without damaging mental health
• Why different doesn't mean broken
If you're a parent, educator, or therapist supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens, this episode will help you better understand what's really happening beneath the struggle—and how to respond with compassion, understanding, and practical support.
Sincerely,
Holly Blanc Moses, The Mom/Neurodivergent Therapist
Check out these resources!
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Create a learning environment where your child can focus, regulate, and engage—not just survive
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Build the skills that will serve them for life—organization, time management, and speaking up for their needs
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Turn recess and group work from nightmare to opportunity with structured, supportive approaches
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Because learning can't happen when a child is overwhelmed, anxious, or in crisis
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Don't miss this opportunity to access 135 neurodiversity-affirming accommodations for only $27.95
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About Holly Blanc Moses: Holly Blanc Moses is an AuDHD psychologist with 28 years of experience. She is a speaker, consultant, continuing education provider, and host of The Autism ADHD Podcast, Autism ADHD TV, and parent masterclasses.
About The Podcast
The Autism ADHD Podcast is for parents and professionals who want a neurodiversity-affirming approach to supporting autistic and ADHD children and teens — with a focus on emotional regulation, executive functioning, mental health, and connection.