Cut the Anchor: Why Your Most Powerful Resolution for 2026 Might Be a STOP List - Edge of the Napkin Series #18
Paper Napkin Wisdom
This time of year, something familiar happens. We turn the page on the calendar and feel the pull to do something different. We reach for a word like resolution and instinctively pair it with action. More discipline. More consistency. More output. More effort. Most resolutions are framed as additions — new habits, new systems, new rules we promise ourselves we’ll finally follow. But what if the most powerful move forward isn’t about what you start doing? What if real...
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People Come for the Work. They Stay for the Team. – Wintress Odom, CEO The Writers for Hire
Paper Napkin Wisdom
Wintress Odom is the Founder and CEO of The Writers For Hire, a company built on clarity, discipline, and consistently high-quality work. From the outside, it’s easy to assume the success came from systems, execution, and technical excellence alone. But on her paper napkin, Wintress wrote something deceptively simple: “People come for the work. They stay for the team.” That sentence didn’t come from a leadership book. It came from lived experience — from building a business, leading...
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Presence Over Presents: The Ultimate Gift You Can Give Yourself This Holiday
Paper Napkin Wisdom
The holidays come wrapped in familiar language. Slow down. Rest. Be present. Unplug. It sounds right. It even sounds desirable. And yet, for many leaders and entrepreneurs, it doesn’t always land. If anything, the holidays can quietly amplify a tension that’s been humming all year. Because while the world appears to be pausing, something inside you may still be moving. Measuring. Reviewing. Assessing. For years, that’s where I lived. When the...
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Turn the Other Cheek, Smile — and Mean It – David Miller
Paper Napkin Wisdom
There’s a particular kind of wisdom that doesn’t shout. It doesn’t posture. It doesn’t try to win the room. It shows up quietly, often after experience has taken its toll, and says: this way works better. That’s the kind of wisdom David Miller brought to this conversation. On his paper napkin, David wrote a deceptively simple line: “Turn the other cheek, smile :) and mean it!” At first glance, it sounds like something we’ve all heard before — maybe even dismissed. Too soft....
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Seeds Grow in the Soil: Why the Most Important Progress Is Invisible (Yet)
Paper Napkin Wisdom
There are seasons where doing the work feels strangely unrewarding. You’re showing up. You’re staying consistent. You’re doing what you said you would do. And yet — nothing obvious is happening. No external validation. No visible breakthrough. No clear sign that you’re “on track.” That’s usually when doubt starts whispering questions we don’t want to answer: Is this actually working? Am I wasting time? Shouldn’t I be further along by now? This Edge of the Napkin episode is about that exact season — the one...
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“Your Revenue Is Hiding in Plain Sight” — Sailynn Doyle on the 80/20 Shift That Changed Everything
Paper Napkin Wisdom
There’s a moment in every entrepreneur’s journey when the hustle stops feeling heroic and starts feeling heavy. For Sailynn Doyle — business systems strategist, former home-care franchise owner, and founder of Passion • Purpose • Posture — that moment came sitting alone in her car at 9 AM on a Tuesday, exhausted and crying before another 12-hour day. From the outside, she was a success story: a million-dollar business by year three. On the inside, she was drowning in the weight of the work. Endless demands. Constant interruptions. Team members who depended on her for every...
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Nothing to Prove. Everything to Be.
Paper Napkin Wisdom
There’s a moment in every leader’s life when they look around the “room” they’re in — not the physical room, but the emotional one, the psychological one, the internal one — and ask: “How much of who I am today was shaped by the right voices… and how much by the wrong ones?” For years, Govindh Jayaraman — founder of Paper Napkin Wisdom — sat in rooms filled with people who called themselves friends, collaborators, supporters. And many of them were exactly that. They challenged ideas. They sharpened thinking. They asked questions that helped build the...
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Dan Perry & Michael Serapiglia – “If You Get Lost, Enjoy the View Around You”
Paper Napkin Wisdom
Some stories begin with a business plan. Others begin with a feeling — a deep, lived truth that travel isn’t just about going somewhere, but about finally being somewhere without fear. That’s the story behind Toto Tours. When founder Dan Ware launched the company in 1990, LGBTQ+ travelers faced a world far less welcoming than it is today. Travel was often an act of courage. Safety wasn’t guaranteed. Connection wasn’t a given. And yet Dan believed something radical: that the world belonged to everyone, and that queer people deserved to explore it without shrinking,...
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Be the Man in Someone’s Corner
Paper Napkin Wisdom
There are times in life when wisdom doesn’t show up quietly. It doesn’t whisper. It doesn’t tap you gently on the shoulder. Sometimes it arrives like a jolt — like your heart recognizing something before your brain can process it. That’s how this episode began. If you’ve been following along, you know it’s been a hard season in our home. Stacey’s father — my father-in-law — has been moving through the final stages of his cancer journey. And while there is an entire conversation to be had about the health, the living, and the complexity of that experience… this...
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Noah Ellis — Do The Thing
Paper Napkin Wisdom
There’s a moment in every entrepreneur’s life when the universe stops whispering and starts shouting. A moment where the next level isn’t waiting behind brilliance or luck or timing — it’s sitting directly behind the one thing we don’t want to do. For Noah Ellis, founder of Ofland and a hospitality leader who’s spent his life building concepts, teams, and experiences, that moment became a clarity-inducing mantra so important that he didn’t just write it down… he tattooed on his body: Do the thing. Noah’s wisdom is the kind that doesn’t land with...
info_outlineWhen you meet Dr. Malik Muhammad, you immediately feel the depth of his compassion paired with the weight of his conviction. He has built a global reputation for helping communities, leaders, and organizations transform through a unique blend of restorative practices, social-emotional learning, and courageous conversations. Dr. Muhammad is the founder of Transforming Lives Inc. and also works closely with Akoben LLC, both of which are devoted to empowering leaders and communities through equity, restorative leadership, and personal transformation.
In this episode of Paper Napkin Wisdom, Dr. Malik shares a deceptively simple yet profoundly powerful formula scribbled on his napkin:
Connection + Challenge = Change
It’s the kind of wisdom that takes a lifetime of practice and reflection to fully appreciate. As our conversation unfolded, it became clear that this formula is not just a leadership principle — it’s a human one.
Why Connection First?
Dr. Malik explains that transformation cannot happen in isolation. “People don’t change because you tell them to — they change because they feel seen, valued, and understood,” he says. Without connection, challenge feels like criticism or confrontation. With connection, challenge becomes a bridge to growth.
This resonates deeply in leadership, parenting, education, and relationships. If people don’t feel connected, they won’t lean into the discomfort of change. Connection creates the safety net that makes challenge survivable.
The Role of Challenge
But connection alone isn’t enough. “We don’t grow in our comfort zones,” Malik reminds us. Challenge disrupts the inertia of habit and forces us to wrestle with new perspectives, behaviors, and truths. He describes it as the catalyst that ignites transformation.
The magic is in the combination. Too much challenge without connection leads to resistance and breakdown. Too much connection without challenge leads to complacency. Together, they create the conditions for meaningful, lasting change.
Change as the Outcome
“Connection and challenge are not the ends — they’re the means,” Malik emphasizes. The true outcome is change. Whether in a classroom, boardroom, or living room, the measure of leadership is whether you’ve created an environment where real transformation is possible.
This isn’t about forcing change on others, but rather about walking beside them. As Malik puts it, “Change is not something we do to people, it’s something we co-create with them.”
5 Key Takeaways
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Connection is the Foundation
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Build trust before expecting growth. Without connection, challenge feels like attack.
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Take Action: Focus on listening more deeply this week — one conversation where you ask more than you speak.
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Challenge Unlocks Growth
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People only grow when nudged outside of their comfort zones.
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Take Action: Identify one area where you can challenge your team (or yourself) to stretch beyond “the usual.”
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Balance Creates Change
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The right mix of connection and challenge generates transformation.
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Take Action: Audit your leadership style — do you lean too heavy on comfort or on criticism? Adjust accordingly.
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Transformation is Co-Created
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Change is not imposed but built through relationship.
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Take Action: In your next leadership moment, invite collaboration instead of dictating the outcome.
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Leadership is Relational, Not Transactional
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Titles don’t change people, relationships do.
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Take Action: Reach out to someone you lead and ask how they’re really doing — then listen without agenda.
Closing Thoughts
Dr. Malik Muhammad’s napkin wisdom reminds us that leadership is not about authority or control — it’s about creating the conditions where people feel safe enough to be challenged and strong enough to embrace change.
Connection without challenge is comfort. Challenge without connection is cruelty. But together, connection and challenge make change not only possible, but inevitable.
Learn more about Dr. Malik Muhammad:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-malik-muhammad/
TLI Services: https://tliservices.org/who-are-we/
Akoben LLC: https://akobenllc.org/
More about Malik: https://www.drmalikspeaks.com/
📌 Your Turn: Grab a napkin and write your own equation for change. Post it with the hashtag #PaperNapkinWisdom and join the conversation.