Presence Over Presents: The Ultimate Gift You Can Give Yourself This Holiday

The holidays come wrapped in familiar language. 

Slow down. 
Rest. 
Be present. 
Unplug. 

It sounds right. It even sounds desirable. And yet, for many leaders and entrepreneurs, it doesn’t always land. 

If anything, the holidays can quietly amplify a tension that’s been humming all year. 

Because while the world appears to be pausing, something inside you may still be moving. 

Measuring. 
Reviewing. 
Assessing. 

For years, that’s where I lived. 

When the Holidays Became a Scorecard 

While others talked about rest, I found myself doing a very quiet audit. 

Not intentionally at first — just instinctively. 

I’d look back at the year and notice the ideas I didn’t follow. 
The projects that stalled. 
The results that didn’t show up the way I expected. 

Revenue targets. 
KPIs. 
Momentum. 

And without ever saying it out loud, my body would reach a conclusion: 

There’s a gap. 

So naturally, I wanted to fix it. 

Fill the gap. 
Drive the solution. 
Push forward. 

The problem wasn’t ambition. 
The problem was timing. 

Because that push showed up at the exact moment the rest of the world was letting go. 

Clients were offline. 
Teams were unplugging. 
Suppliers were closed. 

And suddenly, my internal urgency had nowhere to go. 

That misalignment — between my energy and the world’s rhythm — left me uneasy. Anxious. Off balance. 

Overcorrecting in the Wrong Direction 

Sometimes I tried to solve that discomfort by staying busy anyway. 

If I couldn’t push at work, I’d overperform at home. 

I’d pour myself into family time with intensity. 
I’d put pressure on moments to be meaningful. 
I’d try to manufacture presence. 

And when things didn’t go perfectly — when moods shifted or plans changed — I’d feel that same unease return. 

Because effort and presence aren’t the same thing. 

Trying to be present carries tension. 
Actually being present carries permission. 

For a long time, I didn’t know how to give myself that permission. 

A Quiet Shift 

This year feels different. 

And not because the year was perfect. 

What’s changed is where I’ve been placing my attention. 

For the first time in a long time — maybe since I was a kid — I feel aligned heading into the holidays. 

Not checked out. 
Not forcing calm. 
Not pretending everything’s fine. 

Aligned. 

I feel in tune with my family. 
I feel present. 
I feel ready for this season — not just the calendar version of it. 

And what surprised me most is that this shift didn’t come from doing more. 

It came from seeing something that was already there. 

The Vision That Was Waiting 

At some point, I started paying attention to a vision I’d carried for years. 

Not a business plan. 
Not a list of goals. 

A life vision. 

Whenever I pictured my future, my family was always there. 

Smiling. 
Content. 
Peaceful. 

Not rushed. 

No frantic energy. 
No sense of being pulled somewhere else. 

Just time. 

Time together. 

And when I really looked at that vision — like watching a movie — something became obvious. 

Time wasn’t a reward for success. 

Time was the success. 

That realization didn’t create urgency. 
It created gratitude. 

Because the vision didn’t feel distant. 
It felt familiar. 

Like something I’d been overlooking while chasing outcomes. 

The Treasure That Was Already Home 

There’s a timeless parable echoed in books like The Alchemist and The Greatest Salesman in the World. 

A man travels the world searching for treasure — crossing deserts, following signs, enduring hardship — only to discover that the treasure was buried beneath the place he started. 

The journey wasn’t wasted. 

It was necessary. 

Because without it, he wouldn’t have recognized the treasure even if it had been handed to him. 

That’s what this realization felt like. 

The striving. 
The pressure. 
The misaligned holidays. 

They weren’t mistakes. 

They were what made alignment visible. 

Presence > Presents 

So here’s the napkin wisdom at the center of this season: 

Presence > Presents 

Not as a rejection of gifts. 
Not as a rule or a moral statement. 

But as a reminder. 

The most meaningful gift you can give yourself — and the people you care about — isn’t something you buy. 

It’s something you inhabit. 

Presence isn’t passive. 
It’s practiced. 

And the gateway to it is vision. 

The Greatest Gift You Can Give Yourself 

The ultimate gift this holiday isn’t rest. 

It’s time to connect with your vision for the future. 

Not your goals. 
Not your metrics. 

Your life. 

Time to feel it — not analyze it. 
Time to write about it. 
Time to attach positive emotion to it. 

To animate it. 

Because vision without emotion stays abstract. 
And emotion without practice fades. 

But when you bring them together — deliberately — something shifts. 

A Simple Edge of the Napkin Process 

This doesn’t need complexity. It needs intention. 

Here’s a simple way to begin. 

1. Name What You Want (Without Editing It) 

Forget practicality for a moment. 

What do you want your life to feel like? 

Who’s there? 
What’s the pace? 
What’s present — and what’s missing? 

Write it down without polishing it. 

Truth matters more than clarity. 

2. Play the Movie 

Close your eyes and watch it. 

Not once — daily. 

Notice the energy. 
Notice the tempo. 
Notice how time behaves. 

This isn’t visualization for achievement. 
It’s rehearsal for being. 

3. Attach Emotion on Purpose 

Gratitude. 
Peace. 
Contentment. 

Let your body feel it. 

Emotion is what turns imagination into orientation. 

4. Practice Integration, Not Perfection 

Ask one question each day: 

What part of this can I live today? 

A slower meal. 
An unrushed conversation. 
A decision not to fill every gap. 

Small moments compound. 

5. Protect the Vision Gently 

Not aggressively. 
Not defensively. 

When urgency shows up, check it against your vision. 

Does this move me toward it — or away from it? 

That question alone recalibrates everything. 

Coming Home for the Holidays 

This season, you don’t need to fix the gap. 

You don’t need to push harder. 

You don’t need to prove anything. 

You can give yourself something far more valuable: 

Permission to be in the story you’re already building. 

Because the future you want isn’t waiting for you to arrive. 

It’s quietly inviting you to notice where you already are. 

And that — more than anything wrapped under a tree — might be the gift that lasts. 

 

5 Key Takeaways (with Take Action) 

1. Misalignment Creates Anxiety 
   Take Action: Notice where your energy doesn’t match the season — without judgment. 

2. Time Is the True Currency of Fulfillment 
   Take Action: Choose one moment each day to be unhurried on purpose. 

3. Vision Precedes Presence 
   Take Action: Write one paragraph describing the life you want to live, not achieve. 

4. Emotion Activates Imagination 
   Take Action: Attach gratitude or peace to your vision — feel it, don’t analyze it. 

5. Small Moments Create Big Alignment 
   Take Action: Ask daily: What part of my future can I live today? 

 

If this resonated, take one idea from this post, write it on a paper napkin, and share it with someone you care about — or post it with #PaperNapkinWisdom. 

Because sometimes, the simplest reminders are the ones that bring us home.