Inkblot Astrology

A biweekly podcast where chronically online astrologers Jess Abbott of Inkblot Astrology and Kate Kettelkamp of Kronos Astrology discuss the planets and cultural goings-on.

We're Back and Chronically Online 07/28/2025

We're Back and Chronically Online WELCOME BACK! It’s been five years since the last episode, and a lot has changed — Jess is now a certified and diploma-holding psychological astrologer with a full-time practice, and there’s a brand new co-host in the mix: archetypal astrologer Kate Kettelkamp of Kronos Astrology. In this episode we introduce ourselves and cover Leo Season, Mercury Retrograde, recent major outer planet ingresses, Love Island, Labubu, Dubai chocolate, matcha, and Natalie Portman McRib. Book a reading or learn more: [Inkblot Astrology] [Kronos Astrology] Support + Subscribe: (Inkblot Astrology) Sign up for our newsletters: Follow us: Instagram Tiktok /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/37566325

Explorer ft. Alex Boxer 05/19/2020

Explorer ft. Alex Boxer Huge news: I'm now offering natal chart readings! You can book one . Listen for more details, including how you can win a free reading, + a fascinating interview with data scientist , author of A Scheme of Heaven: The History of Astrology and the Search for Our Destiny in Data. Purchase his book . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/14476088

Elixir ft. Zoe Wilkins 05/05/2020

Elixir ft. Zoe Wilkins More Taurus earthiness, immortality, Ashton Kutcher + Mila Kunis and their , and a discussion on wine with veteran sommelier . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/14247455

Moss ft. Blake 04/21/2020

Moss ft. Blake Taurus season, societal shifts, Chris Crocker, , and a discussion on the recent rise of sex work with OnlyFans content creator Blake. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/14047064

Nemesis ft. Shahnaz Zarif 04/07/2020

Nemesis ft. Shahnaz Zarif Aries season, our personal and collective nemeses, Becky Lynch, , and a discussion on the world of professional wrestling with wrestler, musician, and cohost of podcast . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/13881437

Quarantine 03/24/2020

Quarantine All bets are off. Join me for some quarantine stress relief. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/13675136

Dew 03/10/2020

Dew Saturn moving into Aquarius, a mini forecast, and Mulan. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/13460462

Delve ft. Helen Zaltzman 02/25/2020

Delve ft. Helen Zaltzman Mercury Retrograde, Pisces season, a mini forecast, , and a discussion on the names of the planets with etymological investigation enthusiast . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/13260953

Allure ft. Jenny Owen Youngs 02/11/2020

Allure ft. Jenny Owen Youngs Valentine's Day, Cupid, J. Lo + Shakira's halftime show, the Grammy's, the Iowa Caucus, the Impeachment Trial, and a sign compatibility segment with . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Read Jess' astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/13082369

Altruist ft. Ryan O'Donnell 01/28/2020

Altruist ft. Ryan O'Donnell Uranus, the 2020 U.S. Primary election, Aquarius season, , and an interview with Democratic strategist Ryan O'Donnell. Click for the 2020 Primary election dates by state. ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Read Jess' astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12893720

Catalyst ft. @notallgeminis 01/14/2020

Catalyst ft. @notallgeminis Mars, the New Year, astrology memes, Adam Sandler, Capricorn season, , and an interview with Courtney Perkins of . ✑ EXPLORE THE DARK. / / Read Jess' astrology contributions at /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12713417

Astrology Apps 12/31/2019

Astrology Apps Happy New Year! This week we bid Chris adieu in his final episode, discuss Astrology Apps: which to take into the New Year and which to leave in dusty 2019, plus an Astro Probe with music journalist . Stay tuned for an all new show in 2020. Explore the dark, at This week's advice: 1. How do I stop being reclusive and start dating again? 2. My partner and I both have Pisces Sun and Pisces Moon, how can we become better communicators? 3. My school's band director had an affair with my friend's mom and I reported him to admin after he yelled at a student about it but I lost friends as a result, how do I let things go and stop feeling guilty about what I did? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12572204

Harry Potter Houses w/ Hrishi Hirway 12/24/2019

Harry Potter Houses w/ Hrishi Hirway HAPPY HOLIDAYS! This week we celebrate with a special episode on the Harry Potter Houses. We sort the 4 elements, 12 signs, and ourselves, with guest host of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors. This week's advice: 1. My family is moving away, should I stay where I am or move with them? 2. My partner doesn't like to do much; how can I entertain myself without abandoning them? 3. What sign is SANTA CLAUS? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12519128

The Aspects ft. Shamir 12/17/2019

The Aspects ft. Shamir This week we bore Chris with the Aspects, wind down the educational content of the pod, talk wrestling, money spending, Chris vows to stop talking about s*x, plus an Astro Probe with musician . This week's advice: 1. What advice would you give to the WWE to be a more entertaining show? 2. What would you do with $100 mil and how does that relate to your natal chart? 3. How would you group the 12 signs into the Harry Potter houses? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12402665

The Nodes ft. Tommy Siegel 12/10/2019

The Nodes ft. Tommy Siegel This week we talk about the Lunar Nodes, the ecliptic, the Russian whale jail, several ninja turtles, + more, plus an Astro Probe with musician and cartoonist of bands and . This week's advice: 1. A lot of my chart is earth and air but lately I've been crying a lot, why is that? 2. I found out I was the side chick for year so we broke up and have a rocky friendship because of his girlfriend, what should I do? 3. I'm in love with my best friend but I don't think it's mutual, how can I move on? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12317009

The Houses ft. Macseal 12/03/2019

The Houses ft. Macseal This week we talk about the 12 houses, Howard Sasportas, why the 13th sign is fake news, a barfing dog, dunk tanks, + more, plus an Astro Probe with Frankie of NY based band . This week's advice: 1. My crush shot me down and it hurts being friends, how do I let go? 2. How can I make my Cancer s/o feel loved and appreciated? 3. My s/o wants us to have a threesome with her coworker but I don't think it's the right person for a threesome, what should I do? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12241478

Thanksgiving at Hooters w/ Chris' Wife 11/26/2019

Thanksgiving at Hooters w/ Chris' Wife HaPpY ThAnKsGiViNg!!! In this ep we all go to Hooters for Friendsgiving with Chris' beautiful wife Cassie Farren, where we examine Chris and Cassie's charts using what we've learned so far. This week's advice: 1. How can I remedy my blunt Capricorn lack of filter when I'm depressed? 2. How do twins work within astrology? 3. I've become so used to living in chaos that sometimes I create it on my own, how can I exist peacefully? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12162797

Pluto ft. bbweems 11/19/2019

Pluto ft. bbweems This week we discuss Pluto and why it's no longer a planet, Disney freaks, A Goofy Movie, RIP Walter Mercado, the first bands Chris and Jess were in, that Calvin Klein lesbian poster, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with , the new solo project of Abby Weems from . This week's advice: 1. Are astrology tattoos tacky? 2. My band asked me to switch instruments, are they trying to kick me out? 3. My Mars and Venus don't seem compatible with my wife's Mars and Venus, what does that mean? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/12068972

Neptune ft. Kevin Devine 11/12/2019

Neptune ft. Kevin Devine This week we discuss Neptune, the current Mercury Retrograde, the unfortunate way in which bears hibernate, Chris' new 55" tv, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with . This week's advice: 1. How can I make my partner more comfortable with having sex more often? 2. My partner is usually earthy and grounded while I am watery and ungrounded, but now they're going through a hard time and the roles have flipped, what should I do? 3. How do I know if any of my planets were in retrograde when I was born / what sites or apps can I use that will show me? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11995490

Live from Red Lobster 11/05/2019

Live from Red Lobster Your astro hosts enjoy a candle lit dinner at the local Red Lobster. We review the 12 signs, compare them to Red Lobster menu items, and catch up w Chris on where he's at w astrology. This week's advice: 1. What are your craziest schemes on how to get my first kiss? 2. Does astrology apply to dogs? 3. What are your tips for getting over a bad breakup? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11883524

The Scream Trilogy ft. Mike Kinsella 10/29/2019

The Scream Trilogy ft. Mike Kinsella ITS A HALLOWEEN EP. We watched all 3 Screams and talked about the characters as sign/planet archetypes, our Halloween costumes, Pixar depression, 90s lesbian fashion, Mojo Jojo, astrology apps, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Mike Kinsella of + . This week's advice: 1. What's the $30 astrology app y'all talk about? 2. I keep having bad luck and my daily horoscopes keep getting worse, how do I use astrology to steer me in the right direction? 3. Advice on dating someone with the same sun sign as you? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11788289

Uranus ft. Bittersweet Media 10/22/2019

Uranus ft. Bittersweet Media In our sweet 16 ep we review Saturn, discuss the outer planets, get deep inside Uranus, Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson, The Parent Trap, Jeff Foxworthy, Ben Franklin, the Purge, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Jaclyn O'Connell of Philly-based company . This week's advice: 1. Do people with conflicting signs in their chart tend to be more stressed or tense? 2. Any advice on how to foster a DIY creative community near me? 3. I recently moved to a new place with my bf who is making friends, how do I find friends too and fit into my new life? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11731832

Saturn ft. Into It. Over It. 10/15/2019

Saturn ft. Into It. Over It. This week we talk about Saturn, Amanda Bynes' vagina, the college admissions scandal, Beauty & the Beast, 50 Shades of Chris, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Evan Weiss of Chicago-based band This week's advice: 1. How do I move past the feeling of being incapable and inferior? 2. How do I stop being jealous in relationships? 3. I feel like I'm doing everything right but I still feel lost, what can I do? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11642696

The Elements ft. Hrishikesh Hirway 10/08/2019

The Elements ft. Hrishikesh Hirway CHRIS IS HOME FROM TOUR. This week we talk about the four Elements, pool jet orgasms, Rain-X, Jessica Rabbit, Chris' hypothetical murder podcast, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with of podcasts Song Exploder + West Wing Weekly and of musical projects The One A.M. Radio + Moors. This week's advice: 1. I'm 16 and stressed that I won't be motivated to work hard when I get older, how do I maintain my focus and goals? 2. I'm a triple Scorpio, am I doomed? 3. I've never dated an Earth sign and I want to, is it weird to seek out certain signs to date? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11546633

Advice Marathon 10/01/2019

Advice Marathon Another advice marathon 4 u. Regular episodes return NEXT WEEK. This week's advice: 1. I was born early, does this impact my sun sign? 2. I'm frustrated with my own emotions, how can I nurture my moon? 3. My bf just moved away, how can I make my LDR work? 4. Does astrology influence your impressions of people? 5. How can I find balance in my work and creative life? 6. My antidepressants make it hard to feel anything, what should I do? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11442893

Girls Night ft. Leah Wellbaum of Slothrust 09/24/2019

Girls Night ft. Leah Wellbaum of Slothrust Chris is still away on tour so Jess and Producer Jenny have a slumber party-style Girls Night, complete with face masks/pajamas/snacks, astrology review, gossip about hot people, + Jenny's List, featuring an Astro Probe with Leah Wellbaum of LA-based band . This week's advice: 1. Should I move in w my partner or stay living w my parents? 2. I'm about to move in with my long time partner, what tips do you have? 3. I saw someone at a music store guess people's signs based on their guitar pedal choices, is this real or a scam? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11342066

Co-Host Retrograde 09/17/2019

Co-Host Retrograde This week we SWAP ROLES. Chris teaches Jess about something he loves that she knows nothing about — Tom Cruise's Edge of Tomorrow (2014) — and this time we give Producer Jenny A MIC (despite her very tender sore throat), featuring an Astro Probe with Samira Winter of LA-based band . This week's advice: 1. What is an N Node? And how do people with heavy Libra learn to stop focusing on pleasing everyone? 2. How can I learn to show emotion while still keeping things in harmony with others? 3. Jenny attempts to ask Jess and Chris for advice :/ / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11268947

Jupiter ft. Adult Mom 09/10/2019

Jupiter ft. Adult Mom This week we talk Jupiter, Jess' ghost story, cat invasions, Boston terriers, letting ppl touch your lemons, emo Magellan, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Steph Knipe of . This week's advice: 1. The U.S. sucks, should I move to Canada? 2. How do I make things less awkward with one of my co-workers? 3. Is it worth continuing my long distance relationship if they won't commit? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11162879

Mars ft. Illuminati Hotties 09/03/2019

Mars ft. Illuminati Hotties This week we talk Mars, candy bars, aphrodisiacs, Anchor Man, Winnie the Pooh, homeschool kids, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Sarah Tudzin of LA-based band . This week's advice: 1. How many babies should I have? 2. I'm starting college, how do I survive and make friends? 3. Can Jess expand on how her brand of astrology isn't rooted in mysticism? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/11037455

Venus ft. Potty Mouth 08/27/2019

Venus ft. Potty Mouth This week with an audience of live spiders we discuss Venus, gravitational embraces, Oedipus, Banksy, prog rock, + more, featuring an Astro Probe with Ally Einbinder, bassist of LA based band . This week's advice: 1. How can my wife and I relight the flame? 2. I landed my dream job but my bosses always fight and make my environment bad, what do I do? 3. Can we expect an astrology-themed prog rock album from Jess and Chris? / / Astrology contributions at Astro Blast was produced by Art by Chris Farren Theme song by , , Jenny Owen Youngs /episode/index/show/astroblast/id/10950776

Inkblot Astrology

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