Smack My Pitch Up
Hobbit and Thandi pitch ideas for Movie/TV reboots, remakes, reimaginings, sequels, sidequels, and adaptations. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! https://link.chtbl.com/smpu_gui_subscribe My Handle is Jonathan Blade Podcast Links: Twitter: https://twitter.com/Johnathanblade Apple: https://apple.co/2DEgoDT Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3gFHxEX Youtube: https://t.co/c70qsTS08p?amp=1 Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: http://bit.ly/teepublicGUI GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _______________________________________________ ● Track Info ● Intro/Outro music "In A World" and all trailer music by Jason Shaw (audionautix.com) These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en_US [email protected] for sponsorship inquiries
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Mad Max: Kronk's New Dystopia
03/06/2023
Mad Max: Kronk's New Dystopia
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 97 - Mad Max: Kronk's New Dystopia Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi strap in for a diesel-fueled ride through remakes and remixed of Mad Max! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Forever Believe" "Bustin Loose" and "Hi Fi Brutality" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries TRANSCRIPT: Hobbit: [00:00:00] Hello? Hello. Hello Geeks. Welcome to another episode of smack my pitch up, the podcast that reboots remakes, reimagines sequels side-quels and adapts some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film, television and what have you. And we've got a banger here on this episode for sure, and with me to discuss the remakes and reimaginings, my co-host Thandi. Good day. I thought about doing like an accent, I think, for the betterment of everyone involved. I'm not gonna try to do that. I've never been able to nail either the British or the Australian accent cause they bleeding to each other. Thandi: Yeah. You know, what's fun about doing an accent? For me specifically I'll lose it. I'll lose it almost immediately, and it will turn into whatever it'll turn into like something racist by the end of whatever impression I'm doing, Hobbit: It could be the whitest act. I can do like a Russian accent very poorly, where you're almost offended. I don't think I have Russian background, but like I'm white enough where it's like, no, he can he's allowed to do Russian accent. No. [00:01:00] It's almost offensive. So Thandi: You don't wanna get smacked by Putin. Nobody wants to get smacked by Putin. So Hobbit: get clobbered by his giant horse. Yeah. Let's avoid that if possible. Thandi: eat you with my pick. Yeah. Hobbit: So today we are talking about, Cult Classic for sure. A movie that has spawned to multiple sequels as well as a remake that's not really a remake, so much as a kinda re, re-engagement, a re-envisioning of yeah. Thandi: Yeah it's like, old Mad Max is, what do they call the Star Wars stuff that was made before the reboot, Hobbit: Oh, those are, Thandi: The Star Wars legends or whatever, all the novels and stuff. Yeah. Old Mad Max is Mad Max Legends and . This is like, you know, the new kids. This is, even though it's the same character, it's Hobbit: And what we are talking about is Mad Max the first Mad Max movie and the universe in general. I, guess, But the thing that's interesting about that though is starting with Fury Road, if they are going with Tom Hardy as, max from now on, if they're [00:02:00] restarting this universe it is interesting where they're starting as far as the distance away from Doomsday. Like every Mad Max movie gets a little bit further away from the fall of society. Thandi: Yeah, little. Road is like hundreds of years after, like Max is a Highlander or something Hobbit: Right. Thandi: by the time of Hobbit: And the the original director, he said that Max is really more there to be Way into a slice of life of that world at that time, you know, that Max does assist with stuff happening. But for the most part it's, we're just following him around on his adventures to see where the world is at this point in the decay. And it was interesting to revisit Mad Max after it's been years. I haven't seen it since Fury Road came out, I think. Thandi: I'd only ever seen it on tv. After watching this, I realized I'd only ever seen it as a TV edit. and it's a whole different experience. This is some good [00:03:00] schlock. I was actually surprised. It's really Hobbit: holds up well and you try to explain what happens and there's three important things that happen and that's it in like 90 minutes, but it's engaging the whole time. There's never a point where I felt bored watching this, movie. Thandi: It's interesting. It's not too long, although I did feel like it dragged a little bit somewhere in the middle. It's not too long. It has some really intriguing aesthetic choices. The score is late fifties, early sixties style the orchestration, which is interesting. There's some interesting camera stuff going on. It's very surprising that this is uh, George Miller's first major movie. Hobbit: And I feel like the acting is not top-notch, but it does feel natural enough that it's even the bad actors are not that cringey. It doesn't come off poorly, I Thandi: I like some like, goose. I thought Goose Hobbit: Goose is great. Thandi: Max is actually a little bit too young. That was, my complaint. Mel Gibson is a little bit young for the Hobbit: I was mindful and made sure that I didn't go too old with Max [00:04:00] with my casting, but I did. Yeah. He is so much younger than everybody else really in the film. He looks like a baby and maybe it's just cuz we know Mel Gibson to be this like old racist dude. And this is like young racist dude, but. Thandi: This is even before big hair, incredible wings. Mel Gibson. This is, A whole different Hobbit: was looking at actors in their like early twenties, and I just, I couldn't I just, the concept of them driving a car, I'm like, you're not old enough to drive a car. You can't, Thandi: You got the cutest little baby face Hobbit: is something that I really like about Mad Max, is that there is a portrayal of a revenge film, very Western. It's completely, if you take all the beats of this movie and remove the cars and put in horses it's, and it's not the apocalypse, it's just the old West. This is a fucking Western movie. But it doesn't try to overdo the chase scenes. The chase scenes are pretty straight up. Like they're on straightaways. They're not doing all these crazy twists and turns. And max isn't this big buff fucker, he's this normal [00:05:00] sized person that he fights a little, but mostly it's just him running people over with his car. That's the majority of his skillset is just Thandi: Killing people with this Hobbit: yeah, it's, so what I liked about that is , I didn't need to cast some like action hero type necessarily for the role of. Thandi: This was pre that type anyway. They were on the, just the cusp of having leads take over in that fashion. But this is what, it's like 79, Hobbit: believe in late seventies. Yeah. Thandi: Yeah. So this is right before they start putting Adonis Godman as the other action leads. Hobbit: What a weird time. Yeah, it was the eighties pretty much all the way through until right at the end of the 80. when you had the, like Bruce Willis's and the Joe Everyman that came in and picked that back up again, but there was this like 10 year block that was just big old machismo men that ruled the world. Thandi: Yep. And then after that it was, they were all Brad Pitt types wiry, mu wiry dudes that I still resent Hobbit: of course. Oh man, there was a weird time in [00:06:00] my high school years that scrawny hairless men was the in vogue. , and that's literally the opposite of me. if you Thandi: Damn you, Moby moby Hobbit: right. It was all the lanky, fucking scrawny dudes that everybody was losing their shit over had no armpit hair, nothing. Here I am looking like a fucking lumberjack, a short little, wide lumberjack. Thandi: Yes, and both you and the scrawny, lanky dude are both looking at Mel Gibson going, Hobbit: Yeah. Pretty much. Now how the tides have turned that bearded men is now in vogue and yay. Thandi: We rule the day until Hobbit: until we go to bed at a very reasonable hour. Okay. So Mad Max, there's a lot of room to work here. I'm interested to see if either of us, decided to stick to the timeline of the post apocalypse or the dystopian world. Of the original Mad Max or took it a little bit further into the post apocalypse. Also, is this an apocalypse movie? Is this done differently? [00:07:00] I'm really interested. You have the wild one always excites me cuz you will go out there this might be in space, I don't know. So I'm. Thandi: No, the take this time is gonna be something where you're like, what? What are you doing? You know, last time you were like, wow, that is really cool. The time before you, that is fun. This one's gonna be like, yeah, Hobbit: Why Great. Mine, I feel, is a pretty straight ahead version here that I think you're gonna understand why I made the choices that I did. This is the straight up remake, reimagining what have you. I decided that the real difference here is that I didn't want to try to capture that like Aussie. Dystopian vibe. I wanted to look at what Man Max would be if it was an American director, directing American actors with an American aesthetic, but not necessarily the fast and the furious kind of aesthetic. Definitely balls to the wall a little bit. That's just, that's definitely America, but more that, action kind of [00:08:00] comedy, the die hards of it, the fun action vibe a little. With just a touch of demented to get, let it go down smoother. And I decided that Brian Taylor would be my director for that kind of journey. If you're unfamiliar. He is one of the directors of Crank one and two. He directed gamer Ghost writer Spirit of Vengeance. More recently he did the movie Mom and Dad with Nicholas Cage, which is an absolute fucking blast If you haven't seen. Thandi: I have not Hobbit: It's like an infection movie where all the parents are infected and get like homicidal and wanna murder their own children. That's what the virus does. Yeah. Basically. So it's just all these parents being like, come here honey. Stab stab. And there was a series on sci-fi that he that helps create and also directed called Happy. That was a tour de force of demented weird fantasy the main character. Chris Maloney. He has an imaginary friend that's like a flying unicorn that's voiced by Pat [00:09:00] Oswalt. It's a weird show, but definitely steeped in gross, weird demented comedy. And so that's energy that I wanted to bring to this is just a little over the top, a little bonkers but still that intensity you want from an action. And so I, for Max, that was a tough choice for me. I wanted to do a not action hero kind of person, but somebody that could get unhinged , if they really got to that point they would break bad when it got to that. And from his portrayal in mayhem this horror movie, I thought Stephen Yune would be an interesting choice for. Thandi: Oh, nice. I almost cast him in a different role, yeah. Steven. Deserves a breakout role in like a young person's breakout role like that. I know he's going for serious stuff, but Hobbit: He's definitely proven himself to be a tremendous actor. But I've also been playing this dude that gets basically infected and becomes like a raw [00:10:00] nerve of aggression in mayhem. He, it's a very fun ride that he takes you on and he's gets to play it super big and you can tell he is having a fun time with it. And so I want to be able to have that spectrum from the actor playing Max is somebody that can go subtle and quiet cuz Mel Gibson is quiet in the first man Max. He doesn't say a lot at all. So I want that to just go up to 11 when he's on his revenge. That he's what? Just freaking out and going Bonkers. So, Steven Yeun. I think it would be fun in that role for Jesse, his partner, his wife, his, the mother of his child. I wanted an actress that could play like she's got her own shit together. She's not like the damsel and distress type, but is also very funny and can play at these big action sequences and be the comic relief of the moment in some of the most like, darkest moments of this. And I just saw her recently in a really bad movie called Shotgun Wedding. The movie's fucking awful. It's the Jennifer Lopez vehicle that came out on Prime, and it's stupid. I [00:11:00] hate Thandi: Yeah, Sandra started watching that the other day, and I don't Hobbit: Yeah, it's really bad. But Darcy Carden is in it and I love her. She was in the Good place as Janet. She plays Natalie in Barry and she was also in shotgun wedding, but she's a comedic actress. She's been around and she's been in tons of. Very funny. There's something about her that's so, so just like hits me the right way. Very funny actress and has the, I'm one step ahead of you, kind of energy with her humor as well. She knows what you're gonna say and she's got five clips ready to go already. So I thought they would be a fun matchup. Jim Goose. Goose. I wanted somebody that would be like the kind of wide open, wants to be a ladies man, just fun, weird, sidekick character and a little older as well. Christopher Maloney, he's already worked with the director. I think he would've a lot of fun just being like the zany, the, sidekick, or not sidekick, but coworker, Thandi: oh, definitely. And Maloney's. Hobbit: Maloney is a fucking trip. He is such a [00:12:00] trip. Initially I had cast him as Fifi, the basic, their boss, basically. Cuz I thought Maloney would have a lot of fun just walking around shirtless, smoking a cigar and yelling at people. And he would, but I think his energies would be better spent as Jim Goose. For Fifi, I decided that role, I wanted somebody built like the. He looked like a Russian weightlifter that lifted the triangular weights only the their boss, Fifi. So I needed a buff guy that was gonna be able to have fun in this role as this really happy, big energy person. So Terry Cruz immediately jumped out as a good choice there. He Thandi: course. Hobbit: just really friendly, nice boss that people actually like, but also don't fuck with him. I could, Terry Cruz works perfectly for that. Thandi: Yeah. No, Terry Cruz is great as the big Hobbit: Yeah, that's, his whole career is pretty much playing that role for the most part except for Brooklyn nine nine. He doesn't play the big guy, quote unquote necessarily in that role. Thandi: He plays this sweet, cool-headed guy who [00:13:00] loves his family. Hobbit: I feel like Terry Cruz would be a great person to spend time with, not even get a drink with, but like, Just your friend from years ago that you go to like the park with your kids together kind of energy. He, this is a sweetheart Thandi: Who keeps trying to get you to go to the gym with him and you're like, oh Hobbit: suit? Yep. 100%. Oh, your CrossFit friend. That's Terry Cruz. Oh no. I, for the use of bad guys now that we're going with and I wanted to cast a kind of quiet intensity for Bubba Zt. And so I went with Tommy Flanagan, if you're unfamiliar he's the Irish actor with a giant gash scar in his face that was in Sons of Anarchy. He was in Sin City. He's been in Braveheart and Gladiator. Thandi: I believe I know who you're talking about, Hobbit: very well known as a, always the grizzled, tough guy and uh, toe cutter. Unhinged, boss of the biker gang. We gotta get Nicholas Cage in there at some point.[00:14:00] He's had a couple movies with Brian Taylor. He had Ghost Rider and also mom and dad, so they know how to work together. Nicholas Cage could definitely have room to do whatever Nicholas Cage wants with this role. Thandi: I'm kinda surprised that Nick Cage didn't come to mind for me for what I was, what I'm doing. That's, yeah, cuz he is a great choice for that. Hobbit: I think just giving him moments to do whatever would really make this movie. And then finally, Johnny the Boy, the drugged out fucking weirdo guy that gets in trouble and gets arrested and then gets released is the little brother character to the biker gang that always fucks up and they're always really annoyed with him. Pete Davidson. For Johnny The Boy. Yeah, that's perfect. But with this casting and Brian Taylor in this demented action comedy kind of vibe, the world that I'm setting up in the States is that basically resources are dwindled dramatically. and the coasts are really where most everybody lives because you can get to stuff easier that way through the ocean and railway systems and stuff. The [00:15:00] middle of America is basically ghosted. A lot of the crops have died at this point. resources are dwindling dramatically cuz of global warming or whatever you, whatever. It's not necessary to explain, but there's just barren wastes of just flat, dusty dust bowl . And so really the only people that exist in this area have cars, have souped up rods and cars that have extra gas tanks attached to them, randomly and basically Mad Max vehicles that they have to build out to make these long hauls in between small towns that are still existing in the Midwest. And because that also, there's not enough police force to cover these great expanses and so there's the highway patrol basically that has these. That they can get from town to town on like less gas, but still like gun it. You know, they have little bit better technology but they can only get around so much. So they're constantly on the tail of all these highway gangs. They are constantly trying to make sure all the small towns are okay, but the small towns, [00:16:00] they have their sheriffs and their people in charge, but they can only do so much when a gang of like 30 or 40 bikers comes into town. So, they've been after this gang for a while. They've been trying to prevent them from stealing the resources from the towns in their sector. And so that's how they come to know Max from him just being the best cop in their region, trying to protect these towns. So Max is there basically out of his ability to drive really well, but also he gets better resources by being friendly with all these towns that have resources. And they thank him by giving him water and gas and clothes and stuff for his car. As a bribe basically, hey, pay more attention to us than the other towns. And so when the bikers start cutting into his cut by. By stealing resources from these towns and you know, him not getting there in time, then that's what's really pissing him off. You know, that's what's really motivating him [00:17:00] is like, Hey, you're cutting into my stuff here. So it's less about the world fully falling apart. The cities are still, industrialized and still working and functioning. Though poorly, a little bit dystopian, but the middle America looks like the post apocalypse just because everybody's escaped. Pretty much everybody's gone to the coasts. There's nothing really left in middle America anymore for anybody. the crops have died, like the resources have dwindled, Thandi: Yeah. Yeah. And taking it to America is probably a better move anyway, like maybe not explicitly so. But I feel like there's enough regional culture in the Mad Max movies that doing something that you're a little bit more familiar with might be a better. Hobbit: And it being set in Australia was because that's, George Miller lived , like, so it doesn't have to be Australia necessarily. There's nothing Australia centric [00:18:00] about this story really. Thandi: Except for all the the Fosters billboards in the Hobbit: Right. Australian for post apocalypse. So yeah that's my take. Middle America centered mad Max movie with. Yuck. Yucks and action. And explosions and craziness. Thandi: I'd watch it. And it's . It's about time to bring back the the aesthetic. Like of course we had Fury Road as George Miller's modern vision of that, but A world of post-apocalyptic leather daddies that populated that Mad Max era . It's time to bring that back. I'd love to Hobbit: And I, there's only so much further you can go in the post-apocalyptic world of Mad Max after Fury Road, because then it's just dust. There's nothing there's barely anything left in Fury Road. Resetting it and bringing it back to where there's ghost towns, they're driving through these ghost towns and there's small populations of people and there's still some level of government, working, giving resources. [00:19:00] Highway patrolman, basically. And, the best way I can...
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Freejack: Orphans of a Nihilistic God
02/25/2023
Freejack: Orphans of a Nihilistic God
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 96 - Freejack: Orphans of a Nihilistic God Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi enter the spiritual switchboard to remake and remix the 1992 dystopian sci-fi film Freejack starring Emilio Estevez, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, and Mick Jagger Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "The Voyage" "Corporation Motivation" and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries Transcript: [00:00:00] Hobbit: Hello geeks and welcome to another amazing episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the podcast that reboots, remakes, reimagine sequels, sidequels, and adapt some of your favorite and least favorite. And let's face it poorly. Created from the past, Thandi: They're Hobbit: that definitely the case for this one. That's been the inspiration for this show in the first place was movies like this one that we're gonna talk about today, where the idea is good. It's an interesting concept, but the execution leaves a lot to to be appreciated Thandi: And then they decide to cast Emilio Estevez. Yes. And it ruins the whole project. Hobbit: Oh man. You know what? Not all the time Repo Man was a perfectly good movie. Perfectly good and weird movie. But besides that, yeah, pretty Thandi: Yeah. Repo Man's fun or repo man. Is it repo? It's repo man, right? Hobbit: repo Man, repo Men was a movie with Jude Law enforced Whitaker years later. [00:01:00] That was weirdly close to the storyline of repo, the genetic opera. Thandi: What was the one where he and his brother were garbage men together? Hobbit: Men at Work Thandi: Ah, Hobbit: where they found a mo, a body the mob had dumped or something, I think was the, Thandi: involved in movies of the era, both literally and on screen. Just the mob was fun at that point. Hobbit: well, that was when the mob was like, get going on dateline and stuff to be like, yes, I do kill people. Like they were super about being publicly mobsters was the fun, fun time. Yeah. Right. But this movie, this is of that similar era. This is I think 91 or 92 when this movie was made. Thandi: 92 I think, or no, 90. Hobbit: yeah, 91. Yeah. I think it was made in 91, released in 92 or whereabouts. And it definitely reeks of that early nineties. Sci-fi. There was not a lot coming out at that time that, oh, by the way, my co-host Thandi is here Thandi: Hey, it's Thandi and I'm here and we've been talking. So does it [00:02:00] matter? Who knows? Hobbit: Who knows? We'll find out. Hopefully you already know who is running this this thing. So yeah, you've got 19 91, 92, you've got only a few sci-fi movies that you even remember from that era you've got, and this like demolition man and hackers and, what else do we got? Like virtuosity is around Thandi: abyss. When did that come? Hobbit: That was late eighties I wanna say. So that was still not. Of this era. This was kind of a a lull in sci-fi around the time that Fredj Jack came out. There wasn't a whole lot happening. Thandi: few years later, independence Day. What else stands Hobbit: Independence Day was that was 1999. I Thandi: No. Independence Day was like 95 or 96. I think it's Hobbit: Was it? You might be. I think you are right. Actually. Thandi: Yeah. Hobbit: I am. 96. Yeah. Okay. So I guess that's, yeah, that would be where the upswing started happening, I think was post Independence Day. But movies like this the Independence Day was a more than sci-fi, a big budget action comedy extravaganza type of a movie, whereas this was not meant to be that. We're [00:03:00] talking about Freejack. Listeners may not even be familiar with this film if you are interested in checking it out. It was available on basically all the free apps. Thandi: I watched it on Hobbit: Two. Which one? Tuby? Yeah, it was Tuby, Pluto TV free v I think even Roku channel. It was on. So you shouldn't have too much trouble tracking this down. And it's kind of a shame that this movie doesn't get brought up more in the conversation of, inspiration for other films. Like I feel like this is a predecessor to movies like strange Days, which is also an underappreciated sci-fi movie or Johnny mnemonic. This is definitely like a pre Johnny Mnemonic movie this is, in the path that leads you to Johnny Thandi: Well, leading to the ultimate extension of the idea, which is the matrix, it's like a Pokemon evolution and like the God version is the matrix. Hobbit: This is, William Gibson Light. This isn't actually based on a William Gibson story. I forget the name of the writer that this was based off of, I think a short story, but it has very much that William [00:04:00] Gibson energy whereas Johnny Monic, I think, is actually an adaptation from William Gibson. But it, it's that dystopian cyberpunk future kind of vibe. But the set dressing is way more streets of fire than it is a Blade Runner Thandi: Yeah. Or the Wiz it's got an interesting look for the kind of sci-fi that it's doing. Hobbit: also the time jump is fucking wild. In this movie, this is supposed to take place in, it's like 18 years and it goes from 1991, looking like 1991 with race cars and shit to, The world has fallen into the sewer and there's bone snatchers and time travel and tanks going through the street and utter fucking chaos. And Renee Russo is apparently a vampire that just doesn't age. Thandi: That was hilarious. That was hilarious to me. I was like, they didn't even try, they didn't put like a gray streak or anything. Hobbit: I thought that would've honestly made a more interesting. Conversation if Renee Russo looked like she [00:05:00] had aged 18 years and Emilio Estevez has hadn't, and how much does that affect their relationship? Because it's not just about looks, but it's also she's had 18 years of real hard living with the world basically falling apart. Even though she's doing really well, she's had to probably, Ignore her morals a lot to get to where she was. She's had to beg, borrow, and steal to survive. And she's working for basically an evil omnipresent corporation. How does that translate to Emil? It's been a day for Thandi: Yeah, and just what, 18 years of just general experiences and wisdom. Maybe a bunch of other stuff, maybe trauma, all kinds of stuff different loves. How does that translate? I mean, that's ultimately for that kind of movie, that's not a super important question because that bogs down the action or whatever. But yeah, it's a relevant question of how these people who are now or should be completely different people because of their specific experiences, the world fell apart. How does that make them [00:06:00] different human being? Hobbit: Renee Russo apparently is the most strong-willed human being to ever. Exist on the planet has not changed. A fucking iota is the same exact person from 1991. In the future of 2009 , this takes place. Thandi: the very least she willed the wrinkles away, so Hobbit: That's some serious fucking power right there. But I think the bones of this movie are good. It's the idea that that Emilio Vez is a race car driver who gets snatched right before he's in this fantastic and completely unrealistic. That happens where his race car, goes like off a ramp and then crashes into a bridge like in mid-air. It's buck fucking wild. Like they chose the least realistic way to send him out in this movie. Thandi: but it's fine that there's nothing is odd, that there's absolutely no body, no bones, anything. And they're like, eh, this shit happens. I guess Hobbit: Yeah, I guess he was vaporized or whatever. Yeah, I love that. Brad Carter, the his best friend [00:07:00] basically in this movie played by New York Dolls David Johansen. Thandi: Buster Poindexter, Hobbit: Buster Poindexter in this movie with the largest mouth in film. I think he's massive fucking mouth. Which makes his laughter like both really unsettling and hilarious whenever he cracks up. But he is bitching to Alex Furlong about how he couldn't get the insurance money because they couldn't find the body, which was fucking fantastic to me. He's like, oh, it's great. You're alive anyway. Thandi: I kind of wish he was in more of the movie. Hobbit: Seriously, he was such a fun, like he broke up some. Unnecessary seriousness of this movie. It, this movie should have been more fun than it was. This the set dressing. You shouldn't be trying to play this straight at all. And Amelia was trying, but he just he's not that strong an actor. He just isn't. Thandi: he's not that strong a presence either. I think that's the bigger thing for this kind of. he's a little dude, [00:08:00] but he's also got, his energy is not big enough. I don't know if he, if you turn this into more of a a fun movie and had Michael J. Fox as the little dude lead, then that would be a good time. But Emilio Estevez doesn't really carry this very well, and his energy is weird in the way that people interact with him as little kind of Mousey. Emilio Estevez is also just. Like it feels Hobbit: It is like nobody takes him seriously. He's supposed to be this like action lead in this movie and no, even the side characters are just don't give a fuck about him. Like he is nothing to anybody. Which is an interesting Kind of way to go about a movie like this. I like red Heat, think that the bones of this are good, but there is so much room to expand on this or add more depth or, undertone or more story to this. They, there's not a lot to this. You're able to, I'm assuming you guessed who the big, bad at the end was at the beginning of the movie. Thandi: That's the experience of [00:09:00] movie narrative, that's they don't hide it very well or sell it very well. It's just a thing and you don't even care about it. For most of the movie, it's like, whatever. I, Hobbit: Yeah. When it's finally revealed, it's like, oh, it's your, it's been your boss all along. She's like, no, it's not. and the crowd was like, no it is. This isn't hard to believe, like this is, it was pretty clearly him the whole time. And the cast on this, Hurt Boss being played by one Anthony Hopkins in this movie. Thandi: He had already done Hannibal Lecht or that movie had silence of the Lambs had already come out. But I think that he may have filmed this before his career blew up immediately after that. So he still had a stinker two to do or to show in there because Hobbit: Sure. Sure. He is an unbelievable one, one of the greatest actors of our time, but he also will do a stinker or two from time to time. I mean, he's in a Transformers movie, so if that Thandi: mean, the man has houses and cars to pay for too. So, Hobbit: Yeah, true . So, Mine is set in the past [00:10:00] 1991 is 2000. I'm not doing like a 1991 version of this. Are you sticking around the same timeline? Are Thandi: I am. I Hobbit: it in the same genre? Thandi: 2020 3, 20 20. Hobbit: Okay. So you're jumping from 2023 into the distance future of like Thandi: no, I'm not. We'll get into it in the take, but no, I'm not, Hobbit: So, well, let's get into it. I mean, there's not a lot more to say about this film. It's Thandi: uh, The director Jeff Murphy. Interesting career under Siege Two young guns two, and most interestingly to me, dude was a second unit director on all of the Lord of the Rings movies. Hobbit: Really? Wow. Okay. Thandi: So he is had a career of not obscurity, not complete obscurity, but I think most everything I saw that was involving him that was listed was pretty mediocre, except being a second unit director on the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Hobbit: Do you think that while he was shooting Lord of the Rings as second unit, that he was like bragging about his time [00:11:00] working on directing Mick Jagger, on Freejack, like back when I was directing Jagger back on Free Jack Set Thandi: Yeah. And then he follows it with the Steven Segal story. So Segal and I are tossing back some beers, Hobbit: Ian McConnell was like, I fucked Mc Jagger in 1996. Thandi: Oh let's go listen to Sir Ian's story. That's a much better story. Hobbit: me and Bowie look, had 'em tied up like a pair of Chinese finger cuffs Thandi: we were in shade of pasty tall men and it was the most beautiful thing that you had ever seen. Hobbit: It was like the human centipede, but with cum, Thandi: man. Is that appropriate for this show? I think it is cuz I think I've gone there before, but I haven't heard you go there. Hobbit: Hey, you know what, like this is marked as explicit, so I think we're okay. I think . Yeah. Okay, so yeah let's lay it down. We got formerly by the second unit director of Lord of the Rings, bringing down the original. What are we doing for [00:12:00] your real take on this? Thandi: So for my real take, I'm going with a tried and true modern genre, which is action, not really action comedy, but fun. Action. Hobbit: Sure. Action Romp Thandi: an action romp something with some high energy maybe a little bit of cynicism or probably a lot of cynicism, but more in keeping with what is popular in the modern time, cuz this is a 2023 movie that takes place in 2023. Hobbit: Sure. Thandi: So, in my movie I got rid of the time travel altogether I was like, this doesn't work the way it's presented. Really like how, that works. But what does work to take its place that's all over modern culture is multiverse stuff. So he is bone jacked across the multiverse to another 2023 Earth that's similar enough that you're like, oh it is 2023, I guess, but different enough where, it's a completely different place almost immediately upon. Hobbit: some like more totalitarian like little peppering [00:13:00] in there. Okay. Thandi: So, same race, car accident. Race car crashes, blows up. He's bone jacked to this other reality and escapes in much the same way. But in going around and looking at things, he's like, wow, there's so much that's the same but different. This is not where I'm supposed to be. He runs into a nun who tells him that he's a free jack and lets him know basically the scenario. She does a little exposition dump for him. I wanted to introduce that nun as a bigger part of this property, of this movie so that she's actually directly involved in a lot of of the movement, of the narrative. So I'm gonna introduce that nun as a person, as an actor right now, which is Kat Dennings is my nun in this. Yeah. And so she is the one who is the main secondary character the Robin to the character's Batman as they move through the the narrative. Although he does run into his his girlfriend in this reality, she comes off she [00:14:00] sold to him as a friend as are other people that he knows from his own reality are kind of sold to him as friends. They try to bring him. But it's all part of a scheme to bring him back into the clutches of the person who brought him to this reality in the first place. And that person exists as a, like a head on a screen. And you see him throughout the movie much as Sir Anthony Hopkins was a head on a screen as we go through the movie. But the outcome with that character's a little bit different. So they get adventures trying to escape the powers that be. He's introduced ultimately to Morgan, who was the character that was played by, I think his name is John Shea. John Shea was Lex Luther on Lois and Clark. So that's how I know that actor, like immediately when I see him. Oh, it's Lex Luther from Loon Clark. And John Shea is like the rebellion leader or whatever, or Morgan is the rebellion leader. So, they hook up with Morgan and the nun of the Morgan help him. We reached the same climax where everybody comes together and they try to do the consciousness [00:15:00] transfer. The big bat is revealed. It turns out that the the image of Ian McCandless was not who the character actually was. The real, super powerful, multi-billionaire that's driving this whole scheme. Is Alex Furlong himself, the lead himself. It's his alternate reality version that is dying and needs his body from an alternate reality. Hobbit: Nice. I like that. Thandi: In the the process of coming together and doing the climax he dies. And Julie, the girlfriend dies as well. But it plays out where they think that he's done the mind transfer, and of course, Victor Vacendak, who was. The character that was played by Mick Jagger helps him with his subterfuge. And because Julie dies and we want kind of a classic turn at the end, the Nun Kat Dennings, who's been helping him through the whole project what he finds out after becoming a multi-billionaire and ruling the world and going onto a new a. Is that in a casual conversation with Victor, he finds out that [00:16:00] nuns in this world don't take a valve chastity, and they do the furtive look and the like, the wink freeze take at the end. No, no action. Just a thing that says, yeah, he's gonna be fighting in this world cuz he's gonna have sex with cat denning, basically end of movie. So that's my version of Freejack starring as Alex Furlong. I have Joe Keery. I feel like Joe Keery has the right energy, and he's also. He's taller. I'm saying this is a short guy too. putting this out there. Just it's more believable for the way that people interact with him for what he's supposed to be. That his screen presence is a little bit better in always. So Joe Keery is my Alex Furlong. Hobbit: I can see just the scene from the original movie where he gets fucking hammered on one drink in the bar and he is talking to the camera people and he is like, I don't give a fuck. Fuck this dude. I can see Joe Curie having so much fun with Thandi: Like a good Hobbit: Like something similar to Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Thandi: For my Victor Vacendak I thought about going with a rockstar, but there [00:17:00] are no more rock stars. I'm not gonna have like Drake play my Victor Vacendak. So, Jason Statham is my Victor Vacendak. Jason Statham has the right British guy energy to be this kind of tough guy. This the. Kind of tough guy. That Victor Vacendak is Hobbit: a guy that says Roy a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Thandi: Croy. And then but not much else. It's very quiet otherwise. Hobbit: Occasionally it's just a low guttural growler. Thandi: My Julie Redland, the girlfriend character. I wanted somebody who falls into a trope that is not as prevalent in modern times. Which is the the strong, handsome woman trope. And I couldn't really think of anybody for a while. But Carrie Mulligan is my strong, handsome woman, As Julie Redland, who is not a friend, but a foe. And I think that especially in that aspect, Kerry Mulligan would work really. For Ian McCandless, who's not an actual person in the movie. So Ian McCandless was the Anthony Hopkins ultimate bad guy in the original [00:18:00] movie. In this movie, he's just a face and he's a ai like deep fake. He's a deep fake. He's not actually a person. Kevin Bacon is my Ian McCandless, Lucia the right combination of charm and gravity. I think that yeah, he could do. Without being Anthony Hopkins. He's got his whole different thing going, but with the gravity and the charm. My mark Michelette, who was God, what's that actor's name in the original movie? Hobbit: Mark. Oh, that's Jonathan Banks. He from breaking Bad. Yep. Thandi: As Mark Michelette, I have Colin Ferrell. Colin Ferrell can portray the right kind of menace. And, he's willing to play all different kinds of characters as he ages, not just the handsome guy. I think he would work out well under these circumstances. He holds the screen. He has the right kind of menace. Yeah, him for my nun, we already introduced Kat...
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Red Heat: Republican Mustache
02/17/2023
Red Heat: Republican Mustache
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 95 - Red Heat: Republican Mustache Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi start a new cold war as they fire of remakes and reimaginings of the 80's action classic Red Heat starring Jim Belushi and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Bustin Loose" and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) for sponsorship inquiries Transcript: === Hobbit: [00:00:00] Hello geeks and welcome to another amazing episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the podcast that reboots remakes, reimagine sequels cycles, and adapts some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film, television, and whatever else we decide to do that week. And with me as always, my fateful companion into the realms of remakes. We got Thandi Woodard here. Thandi: How do, Hobbit: How Thandi: I wanted to say hello and Russian, but I could not remember what Hello and Russian is, Hobbit: Yeah. I think I have was it nine? No, that's German. I don't know any Russian, actually. Thandi: we all know Das Vidanya. Hobbit: Yeah. Sag. Yeah. There we go. That's all I've got and that's about as close to Russian as Arnold Schwarzenegger. In this next movie that we are talking about, I'll smack my pitch up. I was about to say, he does his best. He doesn't even try. Thandi: Can I tell you that I I chose this movie and I'm sorry, like it's not it's not. I [00:01:00] remembered it being fun and it's not unfun, but it's not good. It's not like eighties movies have their own vibe or whatever, and this is like the ultimate mediocre representation of mediocre eighties. Hobbit: I know a lot of stuff happens in this movie, but it does feel like nothing happens in this movie. It's just like they, they walk from point A to Thandi: said, everybody's. Just doing eighties. The Walter Hill's you know what guys? Just do just be eighties guys. Just be eighties guys and that'll be the movie that we put out as you guys being eighties guys. Just do that. Hobbit: It should have been understood just by the casting that they had the lesser belu. In this movie, and that should have been enough to know that, okay, we're just phoning this in. This is not nobody needs to really go for it on this one. Cuz Belushi, he's clearly the comic relief character like the smart ass, grizzled cop from Chicago character. But there's nothing funny about him at all. Like he's just he, it's not, he's not even annoying. He's just a [00:02:00] non-existent Thandi: And he's supposed to be funny because he's supposed to be like ably charming or whatever, but he's n he's just irritating and it is yeah. You feel what they're going for with this as an eighties movie, and it just, it doesn't all the way work. It's not bad. It's not terrible. It's just a wet fart of an eighties action. Hobbit: I will say the best part of this movie for. Has to be hands down. Not that there's a really big competition here, but when they're playing chicken with buses, that was really, I'm like, okay, you know what? That's new. I'm, I've not seen that there's a whole movie about a bus driving fast. Didn't go against another bus. It was just one bus. Thandi: sure. Why not? Yeah. Everybody should die here, but they're not or whatever, and it doesn't matter. Like I feel like the climax is really anti-climactic it, even though it's a big set piece. It doesn't go hard. It doesn't feel hard enough when it ends, and Schwartzenegger just ends the movie. He just ends [00:03:00] the Oh, the guy. Okay. You're gone. Needs a fight or something like schwartzenegger and Belushi fighting like 50 guys or something. Hobbit: That's the thing. Schwarzenegger doesn't even really fight a lot of people in this. He shoots a couple folks, but there's not a whole lot of hand to hand. Yeah. And Thandi: The naked fight in the snow, which is, it's fun. That's fun. Hobbit: That's fun. That is fun. Yeah, definitely. But we are talking about, if you didn't realize from the title of this episode we're talking about the movie Red Heat some classic eighties, Arnold Schwartzenegger. Buddy cop movie from Russia meets Chicago, I guess was the Thandi: What are the most eighties that ever aided with the lesser belu? Hobbit: also, this is like the tail end of the Cold War. This movie's coming out and you're rooting for the Russian operative this whole time, which is, that's a weird, that's a weird choice. There's No. [00:04:00] So it's not about rooting for the Russian operative. It's about rooting for the police. He's the police and you're supporting the, it's the, because even he's ah, we are not politicians. It's okay for us to be to like each other. Whatever. It's about respecting the police and supporting the police. Thandi: The working man basically. It's the work, it's the respect for the working man, whether they're Russian or American or whatever. And the heroic eighties style police that don't do anything wrong, it's just they're fighting against a corrupt world no matter what country they're in. Hobbit: I had a rollercoaster of emotion at one moment in this movie where they're talking about drugs in their countries Thandi: Yeah. Miami with, they're turning into Miami. Yeah. Hobbit: And Arnold is like in. Our country, we, you our country, I'm not gonna do it. Aye. Aye. Aye. They were having issues with like drugs coming in from China. So they rounded up all of all the drug Addicts, [00:05:00] all of the drug dealers and took them to the square and sh killed them. Like just shot 'em. And Belushi's response to that wasn't like, oh fuck, that's hardcore. He was like, yeah, they won't let us do that here. It's unfortunate. Like the politicians won't let us do that. And Schwarzenegger's then you tie them up and shoot them first. And she's huh. And so first he's talking rounding up the drug dealers and the drug addicts and like shooting. And I'm like, fuck, that's hardcore. And then he is like, just murder the politicians. I'm like, That Thandi: Yeah. And Belushi's no we. We gotta kind of follow the law and it they make light of the American justice system as it stands to protect the citizenry. I, in this movie, basically it's super hardcore like pro police state, Hobbit: It really is. Thandi: The, they're like the world's on fire because of darkies and foreigners, or, And the only way they're protect it is to have this hardcore, [00:06:00] no rules, no holds barred. Police state, Hobbit: and everybody's on board like that. That is, I really didn't dive that deep into the thought process between the Chicago police and these Russians that are showing up that are the enemy of the country. But they're all cops, so they're like, oh, you kill innocence too. Cool. Great. Okay. We're like, That is Buck Wild. What is nice about a movie? Yeah. . With a movie like this though, there is so much room to build from it that it does make for an interesting choice, for a smack my pitch up. Because Thandi: does because it you, you don't have to respect the movie. There's nothing to hold sacrosanct in this circumstance. You can go hog wild. Hobbit: And one thing that I really wanted to dig into more with mine is That Russia and the states aren't on the best of terms like that just kind of gets glazed over. If anything, it was more of they acted almost like they were buddies, but you still gotta be careful about your state [00:07:00] secrets. That was the kind of energy that they were playing with each other. It was like don't trust Americans don't trust the Russians. And that's it. I really want to inject a little bit more of. Cold War Energy back into this. Although my version is a modern take, it takes place in the modern day. But I just, there's so many weird choices in this movie for it to come out as just like a perfectly fine, mediocre movie. Tom or Jim Belushi, Jim Belushi and and Arnold. Hanging out together. It was like the Kmart version of True Lies with Tom Arnold. Got the the kind of like rubenesque like cop and then the the hardcore badass dude working together. But True lies worked. Thandi: Yeah. Yeah. The it's interesting because Walter Hill has directed some of our favorite movies, including a movie we've done a pitch on before. He was the director of the [00:08:00] Warriors. Hobbit: Oh, wow. This is so far removed from from the whimsy of the warrior. Thandi: Yeah it's so different from the Warriors. He was director of Streets of Fire. It's different from that. He directed both 48 hours, which are actually pretty decent. But tonally are very similar to this. They just the stars, they work better. They have better synchronicity maybe, I don't Because Arnold Schwarzenegger is a big freaking movie star. And actually Jim Belushi can be okay, as I remembered, cuz I saw this in the theater back in the day. I thought he was okay in this. But yeah, this is a little bit obnoxious. Maybe it's just a product of so much time having passed, but. Hobbit: I don't know, but I am interested to see how we decide to build upon this this very simple structure. Basic gist is there is a Russian former operative or current operative that goes to the states to work out a drug deal to move Koch into [00:09:00] Russia. And Arnold is tapped to go get Thandi: Oh, he's a career criminal. He's a career Hobbit: oh, career criminal. Yeah. And he's mother Russia doesn't wanna look bad in the face of the Americans and the rest of the world by having drugs like brought into their country. Arnold goes to stop him basically to get him without airing the dirty laundry of what he gets stopped for. Cuz he's gets stopped for like an unregistered gun. Right. Is that the Thandi: Arnold goes after him because he killed his partner. Hobbit: Sure. That's why he gets, that's why he gets tapped basically. Is that yeah you're gonna do a good job here going after this guy. And and he kind of does. I like this. Injecting a little more plot into this. Mine is a modern day take it has a stylized action kind of vibe to it where everybody is able everybody looks good, nobody's tripping over themselves. It's not like a it's not so much comedic [00:10:00] as it is kind of fun and it's approach. Some comedic moments, but definitely more of a just straight up, like over like stylized action kind of movie. For me, I, Ivan Danco was a very hard casting choice. I needed somebody that was, if not Russian, able to do a decent Russian accent. So that required a little bit of research. I decided to go with a kind of a, you think of him like he would be an action star and he is done some action movies, but he is done more dramas than he's done action movies is Tom. Thandi: Oh, yeah, Tom Hardy is an action star and he's a great dramatic actor. He's both things. Hobbit: And I think there's a stoic sense that he has, especially if you saw Lawless. He's really good in that that I think would lend itself to playing an Ivan Danco kind of character. And he was in a movie called Child 44, where he had a Russian accent and it was good. It was a decent Russian accent. It wasn't too over the [00:11:00] top. It. My favorite Russian accent, which is clearly John Malkovich and Rounders. That is definitely Thandi: still made fun of today. Yeah. Hobbit: I need to find the shirt. I found a shirt that it says on the shirt. I need that shirt. It's brilliant. If you haven't seen rounders, the movies, whatever it's a fine movie, I guess, but Thandi: Was it you that No, it was a YouTube video I saw recently. Who was in that movie with him? One of his co-stars. Hobbit: There was oh, who was in it? Matt. Matt Damon was in it, I think. And it was Matt Damon. So. Malkovich is doing the pee Him he's doing the horrible Russian accent or whatever, and everybody's oh, yay, John Malkovich and Matt Damon's what the fuck is this guy doing? And then there's a they, this, there's a scene break and Malkovich sees the confusion on Matt Damon's face and he looks across the table at him and he is I'll tell you a secret. [00:12:00] I'm a terrible actor. That's it. That's incredible. That is incredible. Oh, that's so good. Yeah. I thoroughly suggest, if you haven't seen Rounders is worth it just for. Malkovich is bits in it, it's so fucking good. But yeah, Tom Hardy can actually do a Russian accent play. Ivan Donk. This version of the film Ivan is drafted to go after a former military asset Victor Rust roti that, yeah, former former Ukrainian. Picked up by the, by Russia to do cyber warfare. Basically, he's a hacker type person. He, his estranged daughter and not wife. The Gina Ghan character, I switched from wife because they never even have any moments of chemistry or anything. And it doesn't matter. I feel like a daughter has a little bit more like ooph [00:13:00] to it, and their relationship are a little different here. He's a strange daughter is young adult living in the America, is doing her thing. He really just has been absent from her life, wants to do stuff best by her, and is seeing this vast amount of corruption that's happening within his country and also within the United States. Partly a cocaine shipment that is getting ready to be shipped to Russia courtesy of the CIA as a means of trying to like they did with KRA in. In the in the eighties destabilization. Yeah. what they don't realize is that Russia's already got crocodile. So Coke doesn't do dick for them. Like coke, cocaine is like a cup of coffee. But Thandi: could you sprinkle some bath salts on this? Hobbit: right? But he decides since there's this large amount of cocaine and money being exchanged between governments in a super secret way, that he has access to the information on where it. He can steal it or, and use [00:14:00] that as a means of getting money from both governments, pitting them against each other and getting out a dodge with his daughter while they go fighting one another. He's basically setting up the governments to blame each other for the disappearing coke and u and using the money that he gets from extorting to basically disappear off the map of his daughter. That's his. And it goes awry. It does not work. Ivan NCO gets sent out by the Russian government to stop him because if he gets caught by the Americans, he has a ton of Russian secrets that he would probably very handily hand over exchange for his freedom. So he's a danger to the Russian military. And the CIA is doing something super fucking underhanded and he knows about it. And so they want to quiet him before the word gets out that the c a is trafficking cocaine to Russia. So both governments are after him. Ivan Danco is kind of in the middle, not realizing after he gets to America that this is some dirty pool that's being played. And Victor [00:15:00] Lev is a unhinged weirdo that he has to basically track down and try to get the information from without everybody dying. So Ivan NKOs, Tom Hardy his partner played by Jim Pucci in the original Art Riddick. I'm gonna go ahead and do Chris Pratt for this one. He is married to Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter. And I thought it would be kind of fun to cast him in this and just him putting on like a shitty mustache like he had in one of the Guardians movies. He had a mustache for two. In one of the Avengers movies or something give 'em a shitty mustache, make them like a grizzled Chicago cop that's trying to do one-liners, but they don't land very well against Tom Hardy, who's stoic and just not having any of it. And I think the uncomfortable nature of that relationship would make for actually really funny moments. Thandi: That would be a man Tom Hardy would eat Prat alive, Hobbit: Would eat him a [00:16:00] lot. Absolutely. Pratt would be like, stupidity, dude dance or something, and Tom Hardy would just stare through him be incredible. In the meantime, they're trying to chase down Victor Roli, who is played by the incomparable Peter Stormeyer. Thandi: Oh, perfect. That's basically Peter Stormeyer of his career is playing that guy. Hobbit: He is playing the big old weirdo like Eastern European guy. Don't even give him fucking lines. Let him just make them up and it will be a better movie. Honestly. Peter Stormer, if you're not familiar, he was one of the nihilists in the Big Lebowski. He's, he was the devil in Constantine. He did the, was it the VW commercials for a little bit, right? I. Thandi: Did he Hobbit: I think, yeah, he's, he is done everything. He is incredible. He is such a blast to watch on screen. He'll steal every moment. Then Lieutenant Stops played by Lawrence Fishburne in a horribly underutilized role. They didn't do shit with him in this movie. Thandi: He was just there to be that [00:17:00] guy. wasn't lo, he wasn't Larry Fishburn yet. So But I wanted to give, I wanted to give the little more gravitas to the lieutenant in the fishburn can do don't get me wrong, but I wanted to give the role a little bit more gravitas and still have an actor that can have that kind of intensity that you want from a lieutenant so Denzel all day make him like angry lieutenant. Hobbit: And then the daughter, Kat Manetti is, her mother's name was Manetti. She took her mother's name the daughter of Victor Rostovetti. I went with Mia Kunis, who is actually fluent in Russian and is part Thandi: has the. Hobbit: and she has the look. So I think she would make for a good estranged daughter character to Peter store. Mayor would Thandi: Definitely I could a hundred percent see that, that relationship. Hobbit: And with Chris Pratt with Denzel Washington stylized action movie. I [00:18:00] went with the director Anton Fuqua to set this up and hit it outta the park. Oh, that'd be a good time. And. It's interesting cuz Anton Fuqua, I don't think has ever made like a movie that has fun energy. I think his movies do have lots of energy, but it's all threatening. It's all a little bit more intense, but he has done the straight ahead action film that doesn't have a lot of depth to it, and he's also done the really good. Thoughtful like borderline artistic action film as well. So I think him being able to play with the full speed ahead action film, but have an awkward comedic tone to it, I think would be, he got close with Magnificent seven, like he did almost get there just because of the kind of actors that he had in those roles. This casting, I think he would be impossible not to get some funny moments between Tom Hardy and Chris Pratt, Peter store Mayer, [00:19:00] talking to Mia Kuni Mia Kuni talking to Chris Pratt and Tom Hardy and Chris Pratt flirting a bit, and Tom Hardy being very, not okay with it. And just their, all the relationships I think would be very fun to see on. Thandi: Now, there'd be some fun energy to see them play off of each other. Hobbit: Yeah. Thandi: little intensity there too. Anybody with Tom Hardy? There's gonna be some some intensity. Hobbit: absolutely, and that's why I wanted Tom Hardy is to be the anchor of this, because with those other actors, there is a good chance that this would just get away from the director. But Tom Hardy, he's a really good actor and he is able to play that intense character. And if he. Holds that down. It keeps everybody at a level where the fun can still be there, but it's still held down as a straight ahead action film. So yeah, that is my pitch for for red heat. Thandi: I would enjoy seeing that. I only have one beef, which is that you made old ass Denzel, a lieutenant. [00:20:00] He should be the police captain. Hobbit: That's okay. That is a fair assessment, but also police captains not going out and getting shotgun shot at him on the street. So yeah, he's in the office asking for...
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Fatal Attraction: Stuck In Crazy
02/10/2023
Fatal Attraction: Stuck In Crazy
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 94 - Fatal Attraction: Stuck In Crazy Transcript at the bottom of show notes Hobbit and Thandi visit one of the greatest sexy thrillers of all time as they try to suppress their... Fatal Instinct Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and "A Darker Heart" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) for sponsorship inquiries Transcript: SMPU - Fatal Attraction === Hobbit: [00:00:00] Hello Geeks and welcome to another amazing episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the podcast that reboots remakes does everything. I lost track of that. Thandi: the things. Yes, Hobbit: All the things, all the redos of stuff that we have come to it's all a blend at this point. I love it when it's like a, it's a Torch Pass movie sequel reboot. That they do now, where it's technically a sequel, but it's also brand new. It. Thandi: there to make money. Yes. Love it. Hobbit: Oh, it's where everything's got sub categoried so much that they don't even make sense when you try to explain what it is now. It used to be just a remake or a reboot, and then that's it. Thandi: got one of the old guys and Timothy Chalamet, and we're calling it a re-imagining sequel. What was it? Legacy. Lega Sequel is the big thing now. Hobbit: Legacy . Yeah, absolutely. And we see it with the Ghostbusters is a good one. Creed is another one oh, a good one was the Ben Stiller Owen [00:01:00] Wilson, Thandi: Oh Zoolander two Hobbit: no not Zoolander two, the car one a Starsky and Hutch Thandi: oh. Hobbit: where at the end the original guys showed up and sold them the car and it was a, yeah, I don't know. 2021 Jump Street was the same way Thandi: Yeah, except Hobbit: it's oh, we were in Jump Street. Yeah, that was a really fun film. Speaking of a fun film no, this is a good film the one that we're talking about this episode, but I wouldn't go so far to say fun. It's hitting a lot of fear points. for for men, I guess. So It's definitely morality tale Thandi: it is a morality it's a straight up morality play, and that's fine. Oh, and by the way, The other gentleman is Mike. I'm Thandi. We love you. Hobbit: Oh, cool. Yeah, the intro stuff that we normally do at the beginning got so excited to jump Thandi: Yeah. No it's so, I love this movie. Like I hadn't seen it in 20 years and I was into it [00:02:00] like I was in the movie theater eating popcorn. I was into it. Like I was talking to myself and going, oh, no, when I had all the anxiety of a dude watching a dude just do stupid shit, making stupid dude mistakes. Oh, it was awesome. I thought this was a really good movie. I didn't remember that. It was a really good, like the, I thought the cinematography was good. I thought that the acting was good. The storytelling was interesting. I was all in on. Hobbit: and I feel they didn't overexplain anything. It was just the information that you needed to get like through that part of the plot. It. I'm trying to over decorate the movie with a bunch of additional people or side. I was trying to think of side characters that I would need to cast possibly while watching this movie. And there's only four other people in this movie, beside the main Thandi: that's a, it's a very small story. Hobbit: ke Yeah, absolutely. But that's all it needs to be. It doesn't detract by keeping it small at all. It actually keeps it a much [00:03:00] tighter movie. And this is just under two hours. It's not a short movie. It's a standard. Thandi: yeah. It's a full story, but it kept me engaged the entire time. And, you know what and big up to Adrian Lynn for doing the same movie over and over again for 40 years and making it pretty great every time. Hobbit: I'm the amount of sexy thrillers, that Michael Douglass has been in is just incredible to me. That j there was just a period of time, there was like a 10 year little spot. Michael Douglas was just like onscreen fucking Thandi: people. Like they don't do, they don't do this kind of movie anymore for probably years, but he is manhandling, just manhandling what's his CoStar's name? Glen Close. He's manhandling Glen, close. It is disgusting and awesome. Hobbit: There is a scene where Glen closed, like pulls down her shirt into her first reveal of her nipple. And I swear in my [00:04:00] head, Michael Douglas went, ow, as he even and jumped on it. Just ready to roll. Just aggressive fucking in this Thandi: Yeah, no it's, it is a sight to behold. Like I said, they don't make movies like this anymore. Sexy thrillers get made sometimes, but as far as like people pawing each other, that doesn't happen like that anymore. Hobbit: No I think the most recent pawing at each other sex scene that I saw was in Bros. Thandi: Oh, do they have something like that? Hobbit: something, but it was actually playing at the aggressive sex scenes a bit where they're like, Shoving their feet in each other's face and not in a sexy way, like pressing their head against the wall kind of thing. Very funny. Very Thandi: love. Hobbit: But yeah. One thing I do miss about these sexy thrillers and something that just like you said wouldn't play today, is that morality aspect of don't cheat on your wife, cuz she might be fucking crazy. And the rule that we learned as teenagers from like [00:05:00] the, our older brothers and older friends. There are some things that come with, as they said, and the time sticking your dick in crazy is that you don't know what kind of results may come Thandi: That was the saying, but as somebody from the restaurant industry, I had to, it couldn't help it. It was part of my lifestyle. Hobbit: look, everybody at a certain point in their life needs to have a whore phase male or female in between everybody needs. I think it's important absolutely to. Really explore what you like, what you don't like, what you're willing to handle, and what you're not willing to handle. I think that's a super important thing. There's no shame in it whatsoever. Ever. I've had my time, my friends have had their time. Good for fucking them. But yeah, occasionally you'll run across somebody that , oops, that was a bad idea. And this is definitely that Thandi: and it's the, and you knew. once she started spitting her game, and I was like, man, Alex has mad game, but it's a little bit scary. Before they even got [00:06:00] into stuff, I was like, oh man this is way aggressive. This might not be a good scene for you, man, knowing it's not gonna be a good scene for 'em, but yeah. Ooh. Hobbit: When the moment hits where suddenly, and I think it was very deftly written, the turn in the conversation from it being very light. Nobody's saying anything flirtation to being overt flirtation, where they discuss basically who's making the call on which way this goes. And Michael Douglas says, that's definitely your call, not mine. And I'm like, bitch, you're married like . What do you mean? That's her call. She's got nothing to lose in Thandi: At that point, I think he was just having fun with it. He was like, oh yeah, we're gonna fuck. And she's oh yeah, no, we are, we're gonna fuck. And he's okay, Hobbit: No, he was playing with it like the night before. What you know is gonna be a long day at work and you start playing with the idea of calling out. But you know, in your head you're eventually gonna call out. Like you've already made that determination in your brain, but you haven't really admitted it to yourself yet. That's the flirtation that he is doing with [00:07:00] fucking, like he knows. That's where it's going. 100%. But he is no, I'm a, I'm good husband. I wouldn't do that. But what Would it be like? He already knows it's happening. He already knows it's going now even with Glen Close, like I haven't decided. Yes, bitch. Yes, you have. You have decided. What do you mean? No, I haven't decided Thandi: Yes, she has decided. That's one of the the thing, the old pieces of wisdom too, is that she knows beforehand and it's on you to f it up, but in his case, effing it up was actually going and doing the thing. Hobbit: Yep. And. I was curious to see how it played for me as an adult. The turn from it being this mutual decision to hook up and fool around. That was like, he's married, he can't turn in anything and everybody knows to it being this weird stalker kind of story and man for it didn't age poorly at all. I feel like there was, it felt very genuine. Once you're in it, it's a different story than when you're just [00:08:00] hypothetically discussing it. Thandi: Yeah. So for me the thing that was striking because a lot of the movies very naturalistic, except for Glenn Clo, seems like a cartoon character. If I hadn't engaged with people like Glenn Close, I would be like, man, she's playing a cartoon character, but she's playing people that I've met. This is a, perhaps not where it goes, but this is a very understandable relationship situation cuz I've seen it. Hobbit: Yeah, I have. and yeah, this is definitely a turned up to 11 version. Great. But it's not out of the realm of possibility. It works. It's not like a fast and furious movie where nothing makes sense. The human relationships here fit the way that they should to make sense. So that being said, let's ruin it. Let's let's take this movie word we're very happy with that I don't really see Thandi: Yeah, cuz I feel like we can only ruin it like the the genre has been done to death at this point. [00:09:00] It was really interesting finding any angle to get a grip on. But yeah. I love this movie enough that I think it stands on its own whether we ruin it or. Hobbit: This is really one of the top three sexy thrillers, right? There's like basic instinct of fatal attraction and then maybe what, nine and a half weeks? Thandi: Yeah. So my favorite before this, because I don't watch sexy thrillers all the time, I never did was unfaithful, which is also an Adrian Lynn movie from like 2002 or something. It made me have a chub for Diane Lane until now, even as Ma Kent, I was like Hobbit: diane Lane is aging well. She is. She's doing a very good job there. And. Yeah, those sexy thrillers. There was a time in my life that I went through all of 'em. I like Jade was watching nine and a half weeks, of course. Basic, like I what was the one Body Heat? Do you remember? Body Heat, I think. Was that Melanie Griffith? Was it, was that? I can't remember. But yeah, th there was just a series of sexy thrillers and then that kind of [00:10:00] tweaked into it being more of the murdery aspect than the sexy aspect. And that's where you start getting into Seven and taking lives and suspect zero. And all these like gritty crime thrillers, I feel are definitely a bastard child of the sexy thriller. Thandi: But you know, the sexy thriller was, it was cheap to make, so it dominated like the nineties. It was this sexy thriller in courtroom dramas and just stuff that you didn't have to spend a whole lot of money on. Sets or places that weren't just people's houses or, yeah it was a good time in cinema because the focus wasn't on the spectacle. You had some interesting scripts and some interesting characters, Hobbit: And that's why I'm interested to see what we're exactly gonna do with this. We, if you didn't listen to the last episode, we have tweaked to the format a little bit where instead of four different takes of the movie we're talking about, one of us gets the re reboot or remake version thing that we think might actually be the best bet. For the film and one of us gets the remix version, the [00:11:00] wackadoo, weird, fully out of the box. Take on this. Sometimes those two versions are actually pretty close as far as whether or not we wanna see these versions or not. And sometimes they're wildly different, but you get the real take Thandi: I got the real. Hobbit: So I'm interested to see if you're going with that sexy thriller vibe. If you're trying to go more modern. Take what are we doing? Thandi: So I am going full on sexy thriller. And with that as a thing, I had to find something to latch onto to make it interesting. So something that I noticed in Fatal Instinct, or sorry, fatal Attraction, haha, is that they were really casually racist. A couple times making fun of Asian people, cuz that's the race that was in the movie. But and then in addition to that, I watched this other thriller that was from the affair thriller that was from the early seventies called play Misty For me, Hobbit: Yeah. Thandi: really, it wasn't racist at all, but [00:12:00] it had some really interesting relations to others in the movie because it was. Early seventies, so they were like, oh, let's put all these people in the movie. But they weren't people, they were like set dressing. So it had a black person and another black person and a gay person. But they were just so they could have these things in the movie to be like, oh, what is America's a melting pot? But they weren't important or really part of the movie or addressed as individual beings of, they were just people that were set dressing for the movie. So I wanted to address what race relations are like now with the from the point of view of white affluence, because those are the people that are in the original movie. These affluent white people like living their wonderful lives. So I wanted to have these affluent white people living their wonderful lives, and I wanted to have race as a component that is not directly addressed, but I wanted [00:13:00] to see in real time. Basically having microaggressions, basically being casually racist in a way that people do not like, oh, I hate these people, or whatever. Just the way people do when they're comfortable and intimate. That kind of casual racism. I want to see that throughout the movie, but with it never really being directly addressed, just something that hangs over the movie. So in this modern version, this modern. On fatal Instinct. Dang it. On Fatal Attraction Hobbit: No. Fatal Instinct is a movie and if I remember correctly, Thandi: a parody Hobbit: isn't that like a, it's a parody movie. Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. Thandi: So my director for this version is Michael Moen, who directed the Voyeurs. I don't know if you saw that last year, a really. Hobbit: Oh, okay. I know what you're talking. I hadn't had the chance to see it, but I know what you're Thandi: So it is half of a really good movie. If they had [00:14:00] stopped at the Twist, then it would be a really good movie. But at The Twist, there's like a whole half movie left and it's stupid after that, Hobbit: Oh Thandi: But it's a sexy thriller and I enjoyed that first half of it. So that's the director I'm going for there. And for my story, it's mostly the same beats, but we bring in some things that are a little bit different. So instead of Stuart PanIN being the. We're bringing in Michael Pena as Jimmy the Stewart Pan character, Hobbit: Okay. Thandi: as his wife Hildy. We have Mabel K, who was Noora in Wakanda forever. And their interaction with the couple, the Dan Gallagher and Beth Gallagher, the husband and wife, the lawyer, couple, the lead and his wife. What happens inside the circle of trust, which is the casual racism that happens inside of the circle of trust, but it's not really, it doesn't look like racism because it's inside the circle of trust. [00:15:00] Everybody is accepting of what's going on there. If you watch it from the outs, if you see it from the outside, then it's yucky. It's it's like you hanging out with Steven or me and saying some things that are, it's funny in the moment because it's us, not racism. And not inappropriate in that moment, but if somebody from the outside sees it, it's yucky. I've had this conversation about just being in podcasting. Is that something you have to be considerate of, is who's listening your audience? It's the clarity of message is that there are jokes that, yeah, like you said, we could make with one another because the intention is incredibly clear to one another. Hobbit: We know each other well enough to know where the line is and what is meant by what is Thandi: Yeah, I've had the circle of trust conversation with women where I'm like you, where I've said, where I've said things in front of people that I would say in front of a woman that I'm very close with. That's completely inappropriate to say under that context. And it's just something you have to learn. But we're seeing this as [00:16:00] observers and we're like, eh, and it's just part of the That's something that's happening in modern day with social media, with the. Remote based relationships that we have is people are starting to misunderstand like where that line is as far as comfort level and what you're should be able to say in mixed company versus close Hobbit: That there's some things that you need to change your clarity a little bit depending on your Thandi: Yeah. Every conversation's not for everybody. Hobbit: exactly, that's why you should, there's some places you can't say fuck it work and that's reason. Thandi: Yeah, Hobbit: My job's pretty okay with it, but But for my leads for my affluent white couple, we have Jake Gillen Hall as Dan Gallagher nice. Thandi: as Beth Gallagher we have Bree Larson, and as Alex, we have Lupita Nego, which brings in like just a whole bunch of. Not in your face, [00:17:00] but like implicit racism because Leedia Nigo is the one who Jake Gillen Hall cheats with. I also wanted to change the dynamic of that a little bit, where Jake Gillen Hall is. Not just an innocent dummy. He's actually he's trying to pursue a thing. He's trying to see how long he can make this go, not realizing that this person's crazy and then it's too late. It's not two days. And he is oh, this bitch is crazy. It's like a couple weeks maybe where he is trying to like, oh, I can make this, I can make, I can juggle this, I can make this work. Oh no, she's crazy. and In the scene, like it's gonna have a lot of the same beats. So when the scene, they're gonna sell their, oh, we're gonna try ourselves to sell our house. And when Alex comes to the house and Beth meets Alex, and after Alex leaves and she sees that that Dan, Jake Gillen Hall is very uncomfortable, she's she thinks it's because it's a pretty black girl. She's I know what you did in college. I know that you were into that in college or whatever. And when she's talking about what [00:18:00] he was into in college, he does this. This mock black woman accent, Adam. Hobbit: No. Oh, no Thandi: In inside their home is part of the circle of trust, but stuff that people don't see and you don't really see in movies like that either. But I want to expose that kind of thing, not as not as a pointed part of the movie, just as an uncomfortable background element that goes through the entire. then most of the story beats are going to be the same. Beyond that one thing that I will change is that her parents will be a little bit more involved as affluent whites. And when they find out that Dan has been cheating with this black, this African black woman the level that they're unpleased and the way that they express that is going to be Hobbit: Ooh. Yeah. Oof. A fog. Like a fart in a room. Just hover it in. Thandi: so so because her parents are more intrinsic to the plot there I've casted [00:19:00] them for Beth's mother, I have Michelle Pfeiffer, and for Beth's father, I have John Corbett. And if you don't know who John Corbett is, he was Aiden from Sex in the City. Chris from Northern Exposure, which is how I knew. And then Ian from my big Fat Greek wedding, and he's just a tall, handsome white guy, even it's in the sixties. He's a tall,...
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The Rock: Jared Leto Ripped In Half
02/03/2023
The Rock: Jared Leto Ripped In Half
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 93 - The Rock: Jared Leto Ripped In Half Hobbit and Thandi are finally back! They head to Alcatraz Island to remake and reimagine the 1996 Michael Bay action extravaganza, The Rock Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Assasins" and "Bustin Loose" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) for sponsorship inquiries Transcript: SMPU - THE ROCK [00:00:00] Hobbit: [00:01:00] Hello geeks and welcome to a long overdue episode of Smack My Pitch Up, the show that reboots, remakes, reimagine sequels, sidequels and adapts some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film, television, and what have you. And Thandi we're back. Thandi: We're Beck, Winick. Hobbit: Yay. Thandi: Ha ha. Hobbit: Thank you so much to our longtime listeners for being patient with us. There's been a lot of moving and shaken going on over at the network And also figuring out how to get all the stuff we're doing to fit and so we can be more consistent with our releases. And so for this episode, this is a slight tweak on our previous format That's gonna make this a much tighter show Which allows us to record more consistently. So hopefully moving forward, we're gonna have like weekly releases for you of this Thandi: that's a good. Hobbit: It is a great thing. So This show previously was around an hour or two, an hour 15. We are shortening that by one of us each week doing a real take on the remake [00:02:00] And one of us doing the remix, weirdo outside the box, take on it. So we're just, instead of four versions of the same movie, we're taking it down to two. So it's a lot more manageable, I think, honestly, it's gonna be a more fun show to have it a little bit tighter like that. Thandi: Yeah, because everybody likes it Hobbit: tight. Yeah. And speaking of tight We are going into a tight action Comedy. I mean Thandi: Yeah, but only an action comedy in the vein of the idea that all nineties movies fall into this genre. Hobbit: when Sean Connery goes was it, losers? Think about Thandi: go home and to fuck the prom queen or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sean Connery is just rubbing his balls all over this movie, just spreading his musk Hobbit: No fucks given whatsoever. He's not doing a bad job, it's just that he's clearly not taking this seriously. Thandi: No, he has exactly the right tone for what that movie is. I would say that As [00:03:00] an understated for him character, it's Nick Cage that could bring it up a notch and he's still perfect. The movie for what it is, for the time in which it came out and what it does in cinema, is pretty much perfect. But yeah, the Nick Cage we know is really understated in the rock. Hobbit: Definitely and that is the movie. About this week, the Rock, the Michael Bay, 1996, I wanna say film who by the way, pitch smacked on Twitter and Facebook. If you want to interact with us on the social medias tell us what we're doing wrong or how you like the new format or what we're doing right. I would like that as well. Thandi: Or not you like the silky sound of our voices. Hobbit: Dulcet tones, Thandi: Our dulcet tones sweet caramel Hobbit: Oozing all over Nicholas Cage. Usually the rock. It is a pure example of what Michael Bay is good at, which is just making really dumb, [00:04:00] really straightforward, blow 'em up action adventure movies. Thandi: Ridiculous nonsense, spectacle. You know, the, the Rock is even though it's an early Michael Bay movie, it's super indicative of his style, which is like quick cuts and like no sense of spatial geography, shit's all over the place. It could be taking place on the ceiling or like, I don't know, in Hong Kong and then California and then New York. It could be anywhere, but you don't care because it's about the energy of the scene. Hobbit: and there's plenty of energy in this while since I've seen The Rock. It surprised me how many very well known actors have like very brief roles in this You've got the Candy Mane himself, Tony Todd that's in like two scenes, Thandi: Yeah. He is one of the, the Marine guys, one of the military. Hobbit: and he is got just one real scene that he has where he is like talking about how we're not, this isn't a threat. We will do this. We will blow up a bunch of people, and that's his main moment in the. Fucking [00:05:00] Candyman gets maybe 45 seconds of screen time in this movie. Thandi: Yep. At random Bokeem Woodbine Hobbit: right. I didn't even realize he was in this movie until about three quarters of the way through watching it, and then he just pops up randomly. You've got, of course, there's Michael Bean dying almost immediately as, as he's wants to Thandi: Yeah. As soon as they do the incursion, boom, gone David Morse, who I actually knew David Morse from St. Elsewhere, cuz that's how old I am. David Morse is just, yeah, just in that piece. Hobbit: And he has a little bit more time on screen, but not still, not much. I mean, he's not doing a ton. John Spencer as a director of Womack. Is a relatively well-known actor as well and he may have been in there for a day because most of his role was just looking at a screen and going, no Thandi: Yeah. William Forsyth. Hobbit: William Forsyth. Yeah. Yeah. Thandi: Yeah. There, there's a lot of big names, but like for the John c McGinley. Hobbit: that's, he was in like two seconds of it as like the [00:06:00] weird gadget guy, which becomes a trope in a lot of other Michael Bay movies is the guy that makes. Contraptions and shit, but he does one and it doesn't even really pay off Thandi: Yeah. Hobbit: He like Thandi: But he's in there, Hobbit: yeah. Thandi: just, just nineties guys. It's, it's these actors that we're all like, oh, I, I know this guy so well. It's because it's 30 years later and yeah. They've had long and storied careers at this point. Hobbit: As much as this is pretty straight ahead, there's no. Surprises really in this movie, it's still an enjoyable ride. You've got the cheesy one-liners throughout you've got big blow 'em up action, shoot 'em up sequences. Going through the sewers and stuff of Alcatraz, I didn't realize that Alcatraz was built on a underground mining roller coaster. But I didn't like I'll Thandi: fun nineties movie without a fun underground nineties Hobbit: rollercoaster Okay, well this could be mashed up with Temple of Doom if tracks were long enough. You know, what the [00:07:00] fuck? I forgot about that completely. And then that started happening. What were they making the prisoners do on Alcatraz? There's caverns, there's Thandi: why are there random spinning blades of doom? Because there are, Hobbit: I can just imagine Alcatraz when it was working that there's people in the mines of Alcatraz. Thandi: see, I think maybe it was just an amusement park. That's how they were paying for the prison. They had an amusement park that went underneath the prison. Hobbit: The most terrifying amusement park you can think of. Come on, get on the ride. Little kid Thandi: You took a wrong turn to coaster and now you're getting molested. Hobbit: This ride's called the Birdman of Alcatraz, where we just launch you via slingshot into the ocean. Yeah. There, there's so much nonsense. But the thing is like, you're not supposed to care. Like you, you're, Thandi: No you're not. Not for Eddie. Michael Bay Hobbit: No, you cannot examine a Michael Bay movie with any level of seriousness because it'll just completely fall apart if you do. Physics don't really matter. Yeah, like you said, directions don't matter. You, you would not be able [00:08:00] to map out Alcatraz by this movie by any Thandi: Yeah, because Michael Bay is selling a feeling. He's not selling a narrative. He's selling a feeling. He wants you to feel the energy of the scenes that he's strung together, seemingly haphazardly, and he's successful at that. Hobbit: The one thing that is different in this movie Ver versus a lot of his other films, is there's like this low, sometimes not so low key like hyper nationalism that really peppers in through a lot of his films. And in this film, it's highly critical of the American government. Thandi: how they've abandoned their soldiers. Hobbit: Yeah, and it's on all ends. You've got the I imprisoned without a trial. British spy. You've got the soldiers that are fighting for, you know, for basically benefits for the fallen soldiers. Nobody thinks the government's doing a good job. And then you've got, you know, the, the director Womack, that is a piece of shit, clearly and everybody knows he is a piece of shit like. Nicholas Cage, who is a straight laced by the rule book guy, by the end of it is just [00:09:00] like, I don't know, like fuck this guy. He was vaporized just totally down to lie to the government by the end of it. Thandi: y you know, Nick or Michael Bay's real thing is just he, he is, his main interest is the guys who do the work. So generally just it's, it's not the guys in the chair, it's the guys who do the work. And that's his love of soldiers too. Those are the guys out in the field who do the work. So he feels that they deserve the respect. And that's, that's true through all his movies. It's the guys who actually are out in the field getting their hands dirty. That's who Michael Bay celebrates. Hobbit: And that's definitely the case in this movie. I guess we're about ready to like dive in. I drew the straw of the real take for this version of the Rock. So I'm Thandi: Real take. Hobbit: the real take real take being what we think might actually work. For a remake or reimagining of the rock. And for this, because it's so straight ahead, there's a lot of d different directions you can take this, [00:10:00] but I thought it being a fun action movie. I wanted to kind of continue in that spirit, but maybe add a little bit more social commentary or subtext underneath that classic action like vibe. Is this conversation about the government and how people react to a crooked government. There are people that fight it like straight up 60 style or, you know, being held without parole and like, you know, trying to fight the system by exposing their secrets kind of thing, which is Sean Connery's character. Then you've got the hyper militarized you know, mercenaries that take over Alcatraz that are gonna do it by any means necessary. But then you see the infighting on what level they're willing to take it within those mercenaries. You've got Nicholas Cage who ends up being kind of like the soldier that turns to help the common man by the end of it. There's, there's a lot of different ways people deal with the, the crookedness of the government in this, in this film. And I thought putting a modern lens on it by having those soldiers come [00:11:00] imitating what we've seen in real life with the right wingers that took over the. Was it Yellowstone Park or what was the park system that they took over back Oh, the the cattle The cattle guys having a little bit of that as the aspect, so it's not just about soldiers. I think focusing on like va something that a lot of people have more experience with that the veterans affairs in this country are miserable. The soldiers that have have not lost their life, lost limb, or their health, their, their mental. That aren't getting the support that they need. So having maybe a collection of soldiers that are retired that are dealing with VA stuff and being like, this is, this isn't, you know, cool. And following that same kind of path that Ed Harris's character did Francis Hummel in the, in the original, but it being more about taking care of the soldiers that are still around, you know, it's be, it's them and their friends that are, you know, missing limbs and then you can have. A little bit more [00:12:00] empathy for these soldiers. As you see, they're all old guys that some of them might have a prosthetic leg or, you know, that these, these are like former soldiers that have been beaten and hurt that are just trying to get what they're due. And so there's. They're the bad guy, quote unquote, but not really, you know? And I really wanted to embolden that in the story a little bit more. It wasn't really pushed on too much. Ed Harris ended up being the only good soldier guy at the end because he wasn't willing to kill 70,000 people. , like that was his line. I thought it'd be a, I think a more complicated win in this movie if this soldiers like you, kind of were rooting for them. They're going about things the wrong way for sure. In this case, it's not gonna be like a rocket full of vaporized, you know aerosol. Thandi: kill gas or. Hobbit: yeah, I think something more simple of just like having an arsenal within range of a major city is enough. You don't have to make it [00:13:00] super sci-fi fancy stuff. Just, Thandi: But nineties Hobbit: the nineties, right? Alcatraz. It's called the Rock. You have to have it take place on Alcatraz. That's. But I did want to have that conversation about, you know, when crooked people earlier in charge, they even the most righteous of people, end up be at odds with each other instead of the real enemy because you know of who's calling the shots. And that being the tragic underpinning of this story is that everybody's trying to do the right thing, and because they're trying to do the right thing, they end up fighting against each other instead of the person that's really pulling strings. So then the conclusion of getting the microfilm the micro fiche and that being leaked to the press at the end, you know, that's one thing that they didn't want Mason or Connery's character out for. They didn't want him out because they didn't want these secrets. Stanley Nicholas Cage's character helps get that information out. You know, it ends up like at the [00:14:00] same, at the end of the first Black Panther where it's not the version that kil monger wanted of domination. But there is, now Wakanda is now part of the world. There is some truth to what, the bad guy was fighting for veteran affairs gets some of its money. You know, the, the, like, some of it goes through. and and Thandi: then everybody gets to know who actually killed J.F.K. Hobbit: The bad guys kind of win, but not really, you know, it, it's a, it's just a bittersweet conversation about figuring out that sometimes the enemy isn't your enemy. I, I would love that to be kinda the undertone, but that not being, I mean, it, it's still at the end of the day, a fucking action movie. And and you want big blow ups and you want, you know, everybody knows kung Fu. And everybody shoots guns really good. And I think for this, I really needed to get David Leach in there for it. It seemed like a no-brainer brainer. He was one of the directors of the first John Wick. He went on to do Atomic Blonde, Deadpool [00:15:00] two, Hobbs and Shaw and Bullet Train most recently. He has that right balance of being able to do great action sequences, but also having time for the characters. Do some yuck yucks in between and have character development and dialogue. So I thought that that was a really good fit for a remake of The Rock was to Thandi: I, I think that would work very well actually. Having seen bullet train recently, I think that's a that's a fun tone to play with in the modern time in general. Hobbit: absolutely. And when Bullet Train very much feels like almost a sendup of nineties action to a degree, it has that like silly. Action kind of vibe to it. So if, if that was applied to a remake of the Rock, I think in a modern take, I think it would fit really, really well. And then you get to play with all the people that David Leach has played with in the past that reappear and du cameos and stuff. So we've got like General Francis Hummel Ed Harris' character. I thought Idris Elba would be [00:16:00] incredible in that role. He was, he was. Thandi: we're canceling the Hobbit: apocalypse. Yes, the black Superman of Hobbs and Shaw coming out and being just like a, a wounded warrior, a a hardened soldier that wants what's due to him and his brothers just makes I wanna see that. I think that would be, and he would probably play it completely straight, like no winks of the camera, overdoing it, which would make all the zaniness around him that much more fun. He is the moral of the story character, you know, so, so him playing it straight, that gives that underpinning some weight while still everybody else is able to yak. Can he smack do around him? Thandi: Oh, definitely. And most importantly, as Hummel, he has gravity. Hobbit: Yeah, Thandi: So if you're doing a serious Hummel, Idris Elba has gravity, Hobbit: and I think, yeah, if we can get him to say, cancel the apocalypse at some point like that, that would be gr I'd be super down for that. I'm wondering how often that gets asked on set of something and it was like, you know, we are not for filming, but just for us, can you just say canceling the [00:17:00] apocalypse? He was Thandi: your pocalypse, Hobbit: like, okay, cool. For wire season three, you know, what's, what's happening 20 years later, let's cancel the apocalypse. Thandi: but, but can you do it in like your British accent? Not the wire accent, but like your British one. Just break into it. Hobbit: Yeah. The joys of fame is that everybody has that one line that people want them to say. So yeah, we've got Edris Alba as Francis hum. The FBI director Womack. I thought it would be fun. She is in Hobbs and Shaw, but is also she has that she could play like hard line in power person. Really. Well get Helen Miron to come in and play, play Womack. I mean, I don't feel like I even need to explain that she, I mean I had to actually double check and make sure she did a proper American accent before, cuz I Thandi: does she? Has she done a proper American accent in something? Hobbit: actually in the, the Yellowstone series or the, the prequel series that they have out with like a, a like old, like Dutch, Midwestern kind of accent. But [00:18:00] she's also been in a couple other roles within American accent and Sounds American. Sounds fine. So I just, I, I couldn't see the FBI director having a British accent. I felt like that was maybe a bridge too far. Thandi: Well, they're actors. They're, they're prof, they're professional actors. British actors are trained to take on those voices so they can really do just about anything. Hobbit: and British actors classically are pretty good at doing the American accent, so I wasn't that worried, but I just, I couldn't remember her having to do an American accent before, so I just had to check. But yeah, no, she's, she's fine. She's good with that. Then we've got Stanley good speed. I went through a couple. Choices for this one because it's Nicholas fucking cage. Like there is no way they can do Nicholas Cage. So didn't want somebody to do a version of him, but I wanted to do proper justice to the character who, he's a lab geek that gets put out in the world to like, on, on, to deal with this situation. So he is awkward. He doesn't come off as a badass at all. He's kind of [00:19:00] gawky. But I also needed an actor that would be able to do some of the action sequence stuff while still seeming gawky. And I thought that Andrew Garfield would be really fun in that role as the really nerdy lab guy that really...
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Beverly Hills Cop: Fatal Instinct
06/13/2022
Beverly Hills Cop: Fatal Instinct
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 92 - Beverly Hills Cop: Fatal Instinct Hobbit and Thandi head to Beverly Hills to stick bananas in tailpipes and solve some crimes! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" "Opus One" and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) for sponsorship inquiries
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Condorman Fringe (Mash-Ups)
05/15/2022
Condorman Fringe (Mash-Ups)
NSFW Ep. 91 - Condorman Fringe (Mash-Ups) Thandi and Hobbit put on matching outfits, and try to start a gang of street tuffs. Subscribe: A new mini-sode format on "off" weeks on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and Thandi pitch a mash-up story with the previous episode's film/show Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries Transcript (Auto-generated): 0:07 the views and opinions expressed on smack my pitch up are those of the panelists and not that of the gui media 0:12 network or associated brands and sponsors listener discretion is advised 0:18 this podcast is rated r for violence language and nudity because clothing is 0:24 a prison and society will not cage me 0:35 in a world with too many reboots and remakes two men will stop at nothing to 0:40 make it even worse this is smack my picture 0:48 [Music] 1:01 hello geeks and welcome to another little mini episode of smack my pitch up mashups and uh here with me as always is 1:08 tandy i'm the butter for the potatoes because they're mash-ups 1:13 wow i'll be upset if i wasn't more jealous than upset about the fact that you came 1:18 up with that joke before i did so i'm here to make the people happy and 1:24 food makes us all happy and if you are listening and have listened before then you are partial to dad jokes because no 1:30 one's going to hate dad jokes and listen to this this show more than once uh let's be fair here 1:36 but for those i'm familiar with to be fair we'll never tell you how old we actually are so uh yeah yeah just it's 1:42 okay just rest assured it's okay it is fine we are of the age bracket that this is acceptable 1:48 and uh for those unfamiliar with this version of the short episodes of smackdown pitch up it is a 1:54 relatively new experiment we're doing is taking the match up from the main episode and giving it time to really 2:00 breathe a little bit more so we're going to be mashing up uh the latest episode 2:05 with uh other properties to see what might stick what doesn't and last 2:10 episode we talked about the warriors the uh we are the warriors yeah it is a 2:18 uh i guess the grittier not really american cousin to a 2:25 clockwork orange is a little bit uh the 70s or west side story sure yeah 2:33 yeah i'm just picturing and that's the first matchup that i thought of with this is that there's this alternate world like everything's everything's 2:40 multiverse right now in in pop culture so there's a multiverse where it's the 2:46 clockwork orange world and the warriors world and they're part of the same world it's just 2:52 different cultures uh version of the yeah well you know a world ruled by 2:58 gangs you could actually do that because both of them are not quite right like the gangs seem to be way more powerful 3:05 entities than they actually should be so yeah that that does kind of work i'm like significantly and i'm used to this 3:12 in action movies i really am like the number of fast and furious movies where i'm like this is a whole city and you have like three cops is kind of 3:19 ridiculous um or all the cops show up together at the same time there isn't 3:24 there's one or the other you have like maybe no cops or one cop or 300 cop cars there's no in between 3:32 yeah but yeah with the warriors the situations where you get the 300 cop cars of the movies where the cops are 3:37 intentionally like uh they're not good at being cops so you just just strengthen numbers just 3:44 the the blues brothers all incompetent yeah just all the cops following the car like did 3:50 none of the cops think to like maybe drive ahead like stop them 3:55 ahead of time no okay cool they're all in like the the the banana in your tailpipe squad they're just 4:01 they're all just like eddie axel foley's foiled all of them at the same time 4:08 well i did like in clockwork orange where there's the moment where his former droogs are now police officers 4:13 and they're like yeah it's basically the same thing and uh there's a nice little jab at authority but it's also kind of true in 4:20 in the circumstances of that film and well life but there wasn't that same conversation happening in the warriors 4:26 but you could see that i would love to have a moment where like alec and his and his droogies go on vacation to like 4:34 rockaway beach or something and they end up running into the warriors or all the baseball furies or 4:39 all the different warrior gangs uh would be pretty asking 4:44 immediately what neighborhood they're from because they're wearing their drew costumes exactly and their cod piece in pajamas 4:50 or whatever they start talking in that like fantasy cockney or whatever they're doing from uh clockwork orange and the 4:57 other gangs from new york are like what the [ __ ] are you talking about a little early i leaned out then the 5:04 milk bars and the warriors are like i i don't know what 5:09 you're i thought i'd spoke english but our gangs are 60 000 strong and we have 5:15 one gun between us somebody go get the gun somebody get the one get one gun 5:21 [Laughter] uh yeah i want to see that version of west side story and warriors versus 5:27 droogs uh one gun story which actually does i guess technically fit 5:32 in website story no they used a knife what was it a gun i don't remember doesn't matter anyway i think i believe 5:39 that there was so i haven't seen west side story in a long time i didn't see the new one 5:44 but uh when the lead murders that dude that was that a gun or did they have a knife fight 5:51 i think body shots no i think he there was a gun involved but that's not what was used to to shoot them at the uh 5:58 in the warehouse fight scene or whatever i think that was a knife the gun was used later gotcha to shoot 6:05 to shoot dude that yeah the main dude the main you know the maria was like 6:11 i wanna i wanna do this i wanna do this guy yeah you know so i do wanna see west 6:18 side story but only because it's a spielberg film i don't like musicals that much and i just otherwise i have no 6:24 interest in seeing that movie uh i saw it i and i do like musicals not all but yeah i 6:30 do have an appreciation for them uh this movie a west side story didn't really need to be made it's 6:36 beautiful it's a very beautiful movie it's choreographed incredibly well uh the colors are vibrant the 6:42 choreography is incredible looks great um costuming is good singing's fine you 6:48 know like everything's good but there's nothing about it that like needed to be made like the old movie's 6:54 fine you don't it's it's not it's not uh breaking any new ground no it just has a little bit of 7:00 that uh cinematic uh spielberg pixie dust on it um that it's just 7:07 beautifully shot looks great but it's not so much of an improvement it needed to be done 7:13 how's ansel elgort he seemed like a weird choice to me i had no idea that he 7:18 could sing and apparently uh yeah he can he can sing very well he's 7:25 uh he's he did a great job i feel like that's part of your formal acting training um you know not as many 7:31 actors in the modern time have formal acting training but if you get it i feel like you know being able to sing 7:37 uh passively at least is part of it because that happens all the time where you get an actor actress that's in a 7:42 movie where they have a singing part and they've been in film for 20 years and not sung and then suddenly they come out 7:49 and have to sing apart okay cool rosario dawson did that with rent uh russell 7:55 crowe didn't do that also the studio can get anybody a vocal coach true it's like it's like getting it's like getting beef 8:01 nasty for your role you're like uh you're a skinny dude the studio can hire anybody to make you 8:07 you know shredded so they can definitely hire somebody to make you a passable singer so what was 8:13 russell crowe's excuse in les miserables because he was terrible 8:18 in that it was bad his ego told him he didn't need a vocal coach yeah probably he's 8:24 like it'd be more gritty it'd be more gritty if i sounded like this right 8:29 and i think it was ryan reynolds one some likable actor that mentioned 8:34 about getting ripped for a role he's like yeah the trick is be rich like it's not this isn't a 8:40 complicated thing like you have rob mcinney or uh the the dude from it's 8:45 always something oh that's right yeah that's who he said yeah that he said yeah it's not complicated you get a personal trainer that like pushes you 8:52 and you like have no say in the matter and then you'll get ripped yeah yeah and 8:57 there's no pleasure and spend all your time dedicated to the thing yeah yeah and then ta-da yeah it's not complicated 9:05 the rest of us are trying to have like a life and enjoy i don't know food and you know worldly delights 9:11 no because we're all going to die eventually anyway you might as well have fun on the way yeah absolutely i guess 9:18 uh yeah i'm not going to be i guess fun is something actually famous in any way shape or form at any point in my life i 9:23 don't think so i might as well enjoy this cheeseburger you know that's 9:28 yeah well you never know but you know there's no there's no restrictions on being famous you can be famous 9:35 and be in any shape or look like anything so that's not the biggest concern there i'm 9:41 i'm in the uh but uh today's just the uh jack black camp of 9:48 lovable chubby bearded man vibe that's uh that's what i'm going for 9:53 yeah but when you're rich you can get ripped at any time that's true that's true and it'll be that like chris pratt 9:58 moment of like he used to be chubby and now he's not oh my god 10:04 [Laughter] with some people going oh that's that's a horrible betrayal yep can you can you just wear the fat 10:10 thor outfit or i i love yeah there's a little bit of blow back for thor losing weight but to 10:16 the credit of the movie even from the trailer it shows that they are actually showing him working off the weight it's 10:21 not like that magic transformation off-screen thing um so that's that's appreciated the only 10:27 time that i can remember that the showing the working out didn't go over well was in the series battlestar 10:32 galactica uh but that's because the gateway game was like nonsense like it didn't it was 10:38 for no reason it was a very weird choice that they were like about the modern one the modern one yeah 10:44 i don't know if you've seen that or not i haven't seen any of it i know that edward james almost is on it and that is 10:50 all that i have for the modern battle star galactica if if you had about 200 other things to it then you got the 10:57 basic just to the show but yeah no edward james almost is amazing in it he's incredible this doesn't spoil 11:03 anything apollo who's his son uh just gets fat at one point he's like i guess 11:08 i'm gonna get fat and so his character just gets fat and he's wearing a terrible fat suit and then i don't know 11:14 where they were planning on going with it but i guess it just wasn't go selling very well so like the beginning of the next is it like is it part of the 11:20 narrative or just something that you don't like what happens to people kind of but yeah but it's more of like you know that he's 11:27 he's losing focus or whatever i don't know that kind of thing like it's not really necessary at all like they could have 11:34 portrayed that in so many other ways besides a really bad fat suit um but then it just shows him like to get 11:39 married and have kids or something or uh not quite but there was a little family space pilot now 11:46 he was depressed because he wasn't with the one he actually wanted to be with or something and there was no they weren't 11:51 fighting robots at the moment so he's like i don't know what to do with my time i guess i'll eat sandwiches and then he just gained a bunch of 11:56 weight and then the season happens beginning of the next season he it starts with him being like 12:02 somebody handing him a jump rope and be like get your [ __ ] together man he's like okay and then shows him jumping rope and then it's like three months 12:08 later and it's him like without the fat suit on just like putting his jumper like cool after three months of jump 12:13 roping i'm back to my regular yeah regular look of not being fat it 12:18 was a great choice it was great uh great cinema there 12:25 wasn't uh confusing and bewildering at all so so back to the uh the the mashups 12:32 because you're you're the the west side story mashup uh got me thinking about something i 12:37 don't want to lose focus on that sure sure which is um the warriors 12:43 and not too far moved time-wise uh the gang from the community center uh of 12:50 breaking and breaking too so turbo and ozone and the gang yes and so new york has transitioned into 12:57 breakdance fighting and the warriors are trying to transition into this new way of being in new york city trying to find their 13:03 footing but then somebody kills their new leader but not literally they just do like a 13:08 michael jackson spin and like a sick moonwalk and totally destroys leaders 13:14 rep in the community and the lawyers have to train to get good enough at break dancing to win the day 13:21 who trains them turbo and ozone breaking three the warriors that's incredible i 13:27 would watch the [ __ ] out of that and i just want that moment where the warriors are like so good that 13:32 uh the opposing side somebody starts breakdancing up the ceiling as expected 13:39 uh and then one of the warriors like oh yeah and then they start go dancing on the ceiling and it's like oh no moment 13:45 like they have like the magic kung fu moment of like no i've learned the five finger death punch as well moment i 13:52 would love that yeah i i just want to i believe in the beat montage and somehow the warriors are saving the 13:58 community center again i just yeah cool into it but because it's a warriors movie somebody has to get stabbed at 14:04 some point it may be the end or yeah yeah somebody right before they're about to like 14:09 do the robot or something they like open their arm up to do the little swingy thing and they get stabbed in the side 14:15 or somebody puts a knife in their hand when they're doing the like tick-tock clock arm thing and then they 14:20 stab themselves on the side it's perfect i love it 14:26 i believe in the and then you get the audible record scratch on the soundtrack as they stab themselves in the beats 14:32 what else was i thinking there's well one of the other mash-ups that we mentioned i think i think we might have mentioned it on 14:38 the show where you mentioned it in the recording it got cut out but uh batman 66. yes because of the henchmen 14:46 mm-hmm because of the other the gotham style uh henchmen with their 14:51 cute little costumes matching outfits would slot nicely into the the warriors 14:57 genre so the warriors road trip into gotham city i do think that was in the final edit but yeah um 15:03 that yeah the warriors becoming part of the batman universe would be pretty incredible um 15:12 maybe they go to gotham city to like try to like be the hit like mr zazz is looking for new henchmen and the 15:17 warriors are like oh we we could hang with mr zazz i like that yeah and they roll up but they're they might 15:23 be a gang it might be a street tufts but they have like a moral center so they're like not down with victor's ass he does 15:29 some stuff a little too too freaky deaky so if victor's house works how about this mr zazz is is like you know what i 15:36 like the cuttier jib warriors and i can take all of you except for ajax because mr zazz is not down with rapists 15:44 everybody can come ajax i think i'm going to cut you up actually 15:49 and the wrestlers are like fair fair enough fair yeah yeah damn so 15:54 even victor says i was like dude there's a line like you 16:00 you yeah what's the the guardians of yelling things like i might be an [ __ ] but i'm not 100 a dick like this 16:06 victor's ass being like nah man like that's just not cool i'm into that i would love to see the wars as a roving 16:12 gang and like anything where there's like other groups to fight like the avengers uh or no more the defenders 16:20 the defenders let's do oh let's do street level um [ __ ] iron fist and uh daredevil 16:27 and uh power man and uh we've got jessica jones and and 16:33 yeah and punisher rolling in and the warriors are like no that's not fair he brought 16:38 many guns like punisher brought too many guns we have knives i don't that was not part of 16:44 the i had this piece of window pane that broke but when i was looking for a weapon i have a pipe he's got an ak-47 16:51 he's got five of them those are his little guns this is not fair 16:56 is he is that about how about the the warriors the warriors show up in the avengers 17:02 movie but it's their own movie but it's it's on the uh the day that the chitauri 17:07 invaded and it's the warriors trying to deal with the chitauri invasion at coney island 17:12 that i make that a whole movie of just like some locals local street tuffs uh that 17:18 are fighting the chatari on the beach would be our tony island imagine just a sequence where like they end up fighting 17:25 and end up falling into like the the tilt-a-whirl or something and they're just fighting with shitara in the 17:32 world or the the [ __ ] or the background the roller coaster goes by and there's like a warrior and a chitauri on the standing up on the 17:38 coaster like stabbing at each other marvel you need to be listening to this show because 17:43 these are clearly dumb ideas but everyone would go see it everyone would 17:49 go see these terrible ideas the plus is that yes marvel needs more because the world is big enough now that 17:56 they can do more stuff about what happens at the street level like agents of shield had some of that 18:01 as far as like what's happening in the background while this other bigger stuff is going on sure yeah yeah but i think 18:07 that would be a lot of fun like um something that they tried to do with uh was that tv show damage control 18:13 like uh vanessa what because damage control is actually 18:18 marvel what's the the the dc version of that oh they had a tv show yeah it was the dc version of it 18:24 had alan titic and vanessa hudgens in it it wasn't damn yeah maybe that is damage control 18:30 but i thought that was marvel but yeah yeah uh yeah and one of them was bruce wayne's cousin but it was about what happens you know 18:36 in the universe outside of what specifically batman is doing or what specifically superman is doing 18:42 and we get to find out what happens to the warriors while batman and superman are doing their thing up in the sky 18:48 and i i love that i don't think it was called uh powerless was the name of the series um 18:54 yeah i'm looking at it now and uh collateral damage is the name of the company 18:59 oh don't nope that's not same concept though but yeah not collateral damage i'm not 19:04 seeing it anyway but yeah the same concept basically is a it was a gag i think on both accounts uh 19:11 i forget which company did it first but they were basically playing off of each other as this like cleanup crew 19:18 that was responsible for like because it makes sense yeah it does make sense i mean costumed heroes do make a big mess 19:23 especially in the boys universe but that's a different uh different topic 19:29 it's a bloody mess it's it's different than uh the the bricks falling and magically not hitting anybody yeah 19:34 exactly uh with the boys i would love to see...
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The Warriors: Practical Decisions (For My Thug Family)
05/07/2022
The Warriors: Practical Decisions (For My Thug Family)
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 90 - The Warriors: Practical Decisions (For My Thug Family) Hobbit and Thandi click their heels together and wish for some actually good remakes of The Wizard of Oz Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and "The Voyage" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) for sponsorship inquiries Auto-Transcript: 0:05 the views and opinions expressed on smack my pitch up are those of the panelists and not that of the gui media 0:11 network or associated brands and sponsors listener discretion is advised this 0:17 podcast is rated r for violence language and nudity because clothing is a prison 0:23 and society will not cage me 0:34 in a world with too many reboots and remakes two men will stop at nothing 0:39 to make it even worse this is smack my picture 0:47 [Music] 0:59 hello geeks and welcome to another episode of smack my pitch up the podcast that reboots remakes reimagine sequel 1:05 cycles and adapt some of your favorite and least favorite properties from film and television and what have you and as 1:10 always i got my co-host here dandy 1:21 that line is so iconic there are people that have never even heard of this movie that know that line 1:27 yeah it is it's crazy it was been parodied a lot of places too you know like several generations of parody 1:34 without context so somebody saw the parody and then the person who grew up with the parody not 1:40 the original was parodying the parody so i i feel like it's old enough and cult classic enough that people know 1:47 it from that like kind of like soylent green as people yeah exactly people know the line without the context and that's a feeling 1:54 that i'm starting to get with a lot of movies that i grew up with where we were making a direct reference from the movie but then movies have now made references 2:00 from the movies you grew up with and the younger generation are making references from the references and it's so removed 2:07 that they're like what what do you mean batteries not included i don't know what that movie is you know there's 2:12 there's this disconnect and yeah i guess it's pop culture hurting our feelings yeah exactly 2:18 and this was one of those movies that it didn't quite hit the uh the popular culture of things but it 2:25 absolutely did uh find its way into the the zeitgeist a little bit 2:30 uh yeah very very cult classic very cold classic we're of course talking about the warriors from uh oh god when did 2:37 this come out like 78 81 81 oh wait it's like well maybe it was because i did i did 2:43 see something saying it was released in the late 70s but i also saw something that said it was released in 81 so it 2:49 could have been 78 i think there's a re-release it's not a huge release so some of those movies the technical 2:54 release date depends on where you were and uh what what you call official but 3:00 it hit oklahoma in 81 exactly right yeah the midwest finally got to see what it was like on the tough streets 3:07 [Laughter] yeah the the interesting conception of the tough streets uh 3:13 walter hill the director of this did a lot of interesting tough streets conceptions uh he was the director of 3:19 streets of fire which if you have not had the chance to see streets of fire it's 3:24 criminally unknown like it the movie nerds know it but that's about it and it is 3:30 incredible it's it is interesting it is interesting uh the warriors also has just some some 3:37 things that uh borderline exploitation like crime gritty movies weren't really doing at 3:43 the time uh like matching outfits that wasn't really yeah it's it's conception of of what 3:50 street toughs are is uh is interesting the whole thing is very village people if you take 3:57 every scene in an 80s movie like a popular 80s movie uh where there's like a punk on a bus or 4:04 the subway that's like he mean give me them groceries man and he has like a 4:09 switchblade and everybody's got a switchblade i always got a switchblade and he's like you're interested in the switchblade with your outfit and he's 4:15 like tough punk uh that is what this movie is basically it's just a bunch of 4:21 switchblade fighting movie and it's it's gang warfare but all the gangs are 4:26 various theater kids right it's like if the jets and sharks invited all their other animal friends over 4:33 to have a dance party um panthers wow yeah right 4:39 so there's a number of different gangs in this now the basic set up this movie if you're not familiar and it's not a complicated plot so i would say that 4:46 even if you haven't seen this i'd say check it out if you can before this recording but it's not there's no heavy twists 4:52 that happen here that uh that you're gonna be you're gonna be ruined for you by no it's it's 4:58 very straightforward pretty straightforward there's all these rival gangs that have been fighting in the 5:03 streets of new york forever and there's one gang uh with one leader who is 5:09 trying to unite the gangs they're like we are more powerful than the cops if we work together and a lot of these gangs 5:16 are on board they're like you know what that's fair um as long as we get our cut we're good they all meet in what central park to 5:24 have this conversation something like that something like central park have this conversation that's uh the line can you dig it comes from 5:33 that moment it's brilliant it's it's incredible it's kind of awesome yeah yeah 5:38 and i'm getting like revved up in those scenes whenever i watch it like even re-watching it for this episode i was 5:44 just like oh yeah let's take on the cops [Laughter] um 5:50 but then yeah there's there's a gang that decides that they're gonna [ __ ] with [ __ ] and they they killed dude they 5:56 killed the the the can you dig it guys cyrus take a guy yeah he has a name i know he does uh 6:02 it's cyrus cyrus that's right the murder immediately gets blamed on the warriors 6:07 which are from coney island which if you are familiar with new york is very far away from 6:12 central park it's on the other side of the city it's uh that's how you can have a 6:18 gauntlet yeah exactly you can't have a gauntlet if it's like the next two stops over that they go that'd be like the short 6:24 film version of the warriors where they get off like two stops down the subway they fight like one gang 6:30 and that's it boring movie uh so yeah yeah there's there are 25 6:35 gangs in this movie that are mentioned by name i did not go through the 25 for 6:42 the uh yeah it's so ridiculous it is so like i know it's supposed to be gritty and 6:49 maybe it it represents the grim and gritty of the era but it's so it's a 6:54 silly ass it's really a silly ass movie it's silly yes it's very very silly 7:01 it's one of those movies that somebody saw like a clockwork orange in the 70s and they're like 7:06 gangs with costumes that's brilliant let me make it gritty so that it fits into new york city and then there's either 7:13 the better they watched batman 66. right they're like oh look at the henchman that's great yeah imagine just a bunch 7:19 of henchmen gangs running running around and it's just people like face paint and like matching outfits and it's very 7:26 wonderful and it's silliness but it's not gritty really it's got a couple moments but for the most part 7:33 so the warriors are on their way to coney island they're trying to make it home where they see it as safety and in 7:38 the meantime uh the gramercy riffs who are the gang that are kind of organizing all the other gangs who has cyrus who 7:45 who gets killed uh there they believe that it was the warrior's fault there's a dj that's speaking on 7:52 the radio letting people know where the warriors might be and there's like a price on their head and everybody's trying to get the 7:57 warriors where in reality the rogues are the gang that uh 8:03 that killed cyrus and are responsible for it the rogues are trying to kill the warriors before the warriors can rat out 8:10 the rogues remember because intrigue because did the 8:16 warriors know directly before the end of the movie like other people did the the the warriors know that the rogues were 8:22 the ones who killed sorry i don't think they did if i remember i think they did see them 8:28 kill yeah because they were right next to the rogues that's why the rogues blamed the warriors is because the warriors saw them do it 8:34 if i remember yeah but they never mentioned that they never mentioned that the rogues are the ones who did it until 8:40 the end of the movie where the rogues show up and they're like they're like why'd you do it man and and i thought it was context that 8:47 yeah no it was not mentioned before then i don't think but uh i i love the greatest excuse ever i actually do like 8:52 this because it's like people just do dumb [ __ ] sometimes he's like we just we just felt like it like it 8:58 wasn't politically motivated it wasn't because they disagreed with cyrus they were like we just like doing stuff like 9:04 that yeah he's he's the i like to do bad things kid yeah great yeah he's he's the 9:09 kid that likes to burn stuff and you're like burning stuff he was like because it's fun you're like okay cool 9:15 yeah that dude was ridiculous that actor was ridiculous he was having so much fun in that role and i think it's part of 9:22 the reason why this movie is a classic but with this i mean this is such a irresponsible film to try to remake 9:29 because of the number of people that are in this it's such an ensemble piece yeah i hated that i hated that so much uh so 9:36 much i had to take a totally different approach to my normal style of casting which then also changed kind of my ideas 9:43 on what to do with this film so i have two [ __ ] weird choices here uh for my 9:48 re remaking or reima definitely a reimagining of the warriors here did you 9:53 kind of stick to i don't know like nice costumes and and grit or what 10:00 is it a 70s period piece or did you modernize this uh so 10:05 my film is modernized it still moves in the same way like 10:11 if the script were beat for beat it would basically be the same movie but it's modern and the context of everything is 10:17 completely different okay uh my context is definitely different as well uh i think 10:24 the the like gangs thing is i don't know how that really translates to 2022 10:30 really had to try problems with the the whole conception as well like um the big thing for me was and i don't know even 10:37 what it's like in the modern time but there was a switchover from and this was before the warriors 10:43 before the warriors period of time there's a switch over from street gangs being uh just a group that 10:49 either protected their turf or their neighborhood and then might have done like stick ups and like petty larceny or 10:56 whatever to being the protection arm of the drug trade is what street gangs 11:01 became became more organized and more like more martial basically 11:09 they're not the same thing like the fact that there's only one or maybe two guns in the whole movie 11:15 just super odd to me and the fact that these gangs aren't 11:21 organized around anything like gangs are organized around yeah turf or territory or whatever but it's around acquisition 11:28 in the modern time it's about protecting the money coming in from the drug trade so yeah it felt like nonsense to me it 11:34 felt like it was probably people remembering the new york of a different time 11:40 like in new york city in the city proper i'm sure that there were like housing developments and projects and stuff 11:45 where people of various races were kind of crowded together poor people but i feel like a lot of the white folks moved 11:52 out of those areas way before the warriors period of time sure so you 11:58 have gangs that are very racially centralized um like i was 12:03 talking to my girlfriend she's from new york about what street gangs look like in her era and she's like no it was as far as is 12:10 white people coming together to do a thing gang wise it was mostly like we hate 12:17 the other people that live in the other areas that's what their gangs came around yeah came together around so 12:23 yeah the white gangs were the ones that had like surprisingly short haircuts 12:28 yeah they're like like italians or skinheads yeah yeah pretty much uh yeah that was kind of a challenge to 12:34 figure out how to do that i think i found my lead in is that they don't i guess gangs but not like street gangs i 12:41 is that the difference there that i did is um i'm sure yes there are still uh gangs 12:47 there are groups of people that commit crime uh but it's not the same as it was like 12:52 this movie portrays like it was in the 70s or the 80s it's it's a survival tactic and also like not 12:59 something that i really want to sensationalize in that way and well you know the book was written in the mid 60s and it's probably based off 13:06 of a conception of gangs from like the fifth from the fonzier because you know fonzie was basically in a street gang a 13:13 so it is it's based on a conception that is rooted in even an even older 13:18 conception of what street gangs and gang crime is sure when you're looking 13:24 at post-world war ii there were a lot of uh soldiers that came back from the war that felt kind of directionless and 13:30 also had that taste of like normal life just didn't really fit into their experience anymore and so that's when 13:36 the birth of like biker culture bikers yeah and you're seeing a lot of people like um 13:42 picking up all the what they have and going on the road and joining other bikers and getting by 13:48 through yeah drug trade was a big part of it um arms dealing was a big part of it 13:54 and uh that fed into gangs in general to have some sort of like affiliation 14:00 uh but yeah that that was by the 70s and 80s that level of like having a brand 14:07 uh got to at best having like a common color that was like to represent who you 14:13 affiliate with but besides that it was not some you know stenciling logos on backs of jackets and [ __ ] like that was 14:19 not unless you were a hell's angel but by then it was like an incorporated brand 14:24 sure the hell's angels by the 70s the hells angels were literally but literally did security for 14:30 a rolling stones concert so that's uh it's different animal uh not 14:36 to say that they there weren't still and still are some things probably going on in that 14:42 realm that are uh not not exactly above board but oh they controlled the meth trade back then um but yeah they i mean 14:49 the the guys in the gang got older it became no longer just a street gang you got to make practical decisions for your 14:55 thug family yeah exactly practical decisions for my thug family yes um 15:01 so for mine i i'm just gonna dive into mine because uh it shouldn't take too long there's a lot 15:07 a lot of names to list but uh i decided instead of casting in the way that i normally do where it's the main 15:13 characters going through and just hitting seven of the you know most important 15:19 characters it was the different groups that were kind of important in this like swan is important he's the leader of the 15:24 warriors and all that but like he's he's not that important you know like the the the gang is the important 15:31 part their their affiliation together how they fight together and so i thought yeah how can i incorporate 15:37 groups of people that i we know that are familiar with one another in a way that 15:42 they're the different gangs and then i started thinking about anchorman uh and the famous uh anchorman fight 15:49 between all the different news channels and i'm like there's something there brilliant there's something there 15:54 uh and so i decided that the the bringing in swinging will smith too yeah exactly right 16:00 he's mysteriously absent from this adaptation um so my idea is that we said it in modern 16:06 day new york where the splinter factions that we deal with aren't street gangs at this point but political affiliations 16:13 and more so than any other uh overarching politic 16:19 group is like democrats and then left-leaning tend to have very specific 16:24 things that they're fighting for whether it be legalization of marijuana or or are gay rights or uh the green new deal 16:32 and all of these are very important but they're so fractured from one another that there's not a lot of chance for 16:37 them to get along and actually like join together and do something um there's a lot of a lot of infighting that's 16:43 happening so i'm taking the inspiration from the original warriors and applying it to a fractured um and broken 16:50 political system and uh infighting that happens uh within a singular party and 16:56 uh so these are all different groups that um are supporting 17:03 different like lobbies that are fighting in new york city there's a big protest happening uh to fight against like an 17:10 oncoming war that should be happening you know that we're about to go into and whether or not to go into war and whether or not uh to 17:18 take money out of certain budgets and lobbyists are going crazy and it's kind of like seattle uh back when the 17:25 wto was doing stuff and there was like oh yeah the other the no go zone or whatever yeah so it's got that kind of 17:32 energy going on for it and it's just these like politicos it's lobbyists it's uh it's politically motivated people 17:38 reporters that are all kind of part of these different groups and so the warriors are actually just like the 17:44 seasoned um like activists and uh and lobbyists that are like 17:50 trying to do like the green new deal they're trying to like protect the environment they've been through it 17:55 they've they've been ridden hard and put away wet they're uh but they're still like in the game 18:01 they're they're not burned out yet they're still believing what they believe in the gramercy riffs are like the old head near retirement they're 18:08 trying to get the new big hitters in town to like rally together to try to actually stand up together and get stuff 18:14 done uh the rogues are just the like i would say wall street bro type uh 18:21 lobby contingency uh-huh that yeah just very kind of woeful wall street uh you 18:28 just like really uh alpha male energy you know toxic male kind of vibe to them 18:34 then there's the turnbull acs which the only thing that they had going for them in the original 18:40 i think it was the bus right yeah they were like bald the slow moving bus the slowing boss of bald dudes i think was 18:46 the only thing um so sure we'll just make them we'll make 18:51 them all balding but prematurely balding not like shaved head balding but like 18:56 horseshoe balding yeah like me yeah yeah and then we've got the 19:02 orphans um which are just like a kind of a gaggle of the leftovers that get thrown 19:07 together of just all the the forgotten ones and then the baseball furies these are the the big badasses the billy 19:14 badasses of uh the groups that are coming after the the warriors uh they're 19:20 uh big tobacco they're big firearms they're the big heavy duty lobbies that 19:27 are coming after them then we've got the lizzie's and that is [ __ ] hats that is women's rights uh 19:35 body autonomy like stuff that you know what's that like uh second wave feminism 19:40 i think so yeah yeah something that's what's funny is a lot of the stuff is stuff i actually like do care about and 19:46 do believe in but tone is to...
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Mash-Up: Chubby Grandad Matinee
04/22/2022
Mash-Up: Chubby Grandad Matinee
NSFW Ep. 89 - Mash-Up: Chubby Grandad Matinee Thandi and Hobbit follow the yellow brick road to a land of unspeakable horrors! Subscribe: A new mini-sode format on "off" weeks on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and Thandi pitch a mash-up story with the previous episode's film/show Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries
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The Wizard of Oz: Bleak Like Kansas
04/16/2022
The Wizard of Oz: Bleak Like Kansas
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 88 - The Wizard of Oz: Bleak Like Kansas Hobbit and Thandi click their heels together and wish for some actually good remakes of The Wizard of Oz Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and "The Voyage" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. "Steve Combs Through" Theme by Steve Combs Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0) for sponsorship inquiries
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Ghost: Why Is Everything Damp?!
03/25/2022
Ghost: Why Is Everything Damp?!
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 87 - Ghost: Why Is Everything Damp?! Hobbit and Thandi say ditto a lot. Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and trailer music by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries
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Mash-Up: Demolition Man plus Idiocracy (equals Democracy)
03/18/2022
Mash-Up: Demolition Man plus Idiocracy (equals Democracy)
NSFW Ep. 86 - Mash-Up: Demolition Man plus Idiocracy (equals Democracy) Thandi and Hobbit imagine a future dystopia where the Wilson bros and Sly and Snipes demolish good taste. Subscribe: A new mini-sode format on "off" weeks on the Smack My Pitch Up stream! Mike the Hobbit and Thandi pitch a mash-up story with the previous episode's film/show Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries
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Demolition Man: The Demolition Meister
03/11/2022
Demolition Man: The Demolition Meister
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 85 - Demolition Man: The Demolition Meister Hobbit and Thandi go to the future to express their happy joy joy feelings about a Demolition Man remake Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World" and trailer music by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries
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Batman: Oh, No! It's Michael Shannon!
02/27/2022
Batman: Oh, No! It's Michael Shannon!
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The Full Monty: Five Armie Hammers (The Razor's Edge)
08/27/2021
The Full Monty: Five Armie Hammers (The Razor's Edge)
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 83 - The Full Monty: Five Armie Hammers (The Razor's Edge) Hobbit and Thandi Woodard (My Handle is Jonathan Blade) go whole hog while remaking/reimagining The Full Monty (1997). Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! My Handle is Jonathan Blade Podcast Links: Twitter: Apple: Spotify: Youtube: Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "A Moment's Reflection", and "Musical Synergy" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries
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National Treasure: Building Relationships Was The Real Treasure
07/09/2021
National Treasure: Building Relationships Was The Real Treasure
NSFW Smack My Pitch Up 82 - Legend: Mustache Devil Knows What He's About Hobbit and Scotty P (Geekfathers) are gonna steal the Declaration of Independance to find a pitch on the back for a National Treasure Remake! Subscribe to Smack My Pitch UP! Check out tons of merch for the GUI Network on TeePublic: GUI Network Hotline: (804) 505-4GUI (4484) (Message & data rates may apply) _________________________________________________ ● Track Info ● "In A World", "A Moment's Reflection", and "Assassins" by Jason Shaw () These works are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. for sponsorship inquiries
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That's Entertainment (The Short List)
06/05/2021
That's Entertainment (The Short List)
NSFW
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Legend (1985): Mustache Devil Knows What He's About
05/14/2021
Legend (1985): Mustache Devil Knows What He's About
NSFW
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This Flat Earth (The Short List)
05/07/2021
This Flat Earth (The Short List)
Ep. 81 - This Flat Earth (The Short List)
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Six String Samurai: Fistfull of Anne Heche's Butthole
05/01/2021
Six String Samurai: Fistfull of Anne Heche's Butthole
NSFW
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Legacy (The Short List)
04/23/2021
Legacy (The Short List)
Synopsis: The son of a deceased horror writer must struggle with creating his own legacy while in the impossible shadow of a father who kept some very dark secrets.
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Waiting For Guffman: Horny For Organ
04/16/2021
Waiting For Guffman: Horny For Organ
NSFW
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Climb (The Short List)
04/02/2021
Climb (The Short List)
Ep. 77 - Climb (The Short List)
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Face/Off: Face Theft In Space!
03/26/2021
Face/Off: Face Theft In Space!
Smack My Pitch Up 76 - Face/Off: Face Theft In Space!
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Next Star Neighbor (The Short List)
03/19/2021
Next Star Neighbor (The Short List)
NSFW
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Empire Records: Bieber's Oil-Stained Corduroys
03/12/2021
Empire Records: Bieber's Oil-Stained Corduroys
Smack My Pitch Up 74 - Empire Records: Bieber's Oil-Stained Corduroys
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Service With A Smile (The Short List)
03/05/2021
Service With A Smile (The Short List)
NSFW
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Heathers: Old People Crime
02/27/2021
Heathers: Old People Crime
NSFW - Smack My Pitch Up 72 - Heathers: Old People Crime
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No Late Fees (The Short List)
02/20/2021
No Late Fees (The Short List)
Synopsis: In 2010 the movie rental store is in it's death throes. The last Blockbuster in town awaits an important phone call that will seal their fate.
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Starship Troopers: Fascism For Kids!
02/12/2021
Starship Troopers: Fascism For Kids!
NSFW
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