AMA | Why Behavior Is Language: The #1 Emotional Intelligence Secret

Wellness + Wisdom Episode 651

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Host and Wellness Force Media CEO, Josh Trent, shares what it means that behavior is language and how your true intentions translate into how you behave.

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Listen To Episode 651 As Josh Trent Answers Your Questions

[00:00] Intro

What is going on podcast world? It's Josh Trent. This is Wellness + Wisdom, the podcast and the place where every single episode, no matter what, we explore this lens of life that we all get to see life through.

And it's called the Wellness Pentagon. This is the 5 sides of yourself, your whole self, your most loving, your most amazing, your most actualized self.

And that is starting with the floor, physical, then mental, emotional for the walls, then spiritual and financial for the roof. This is the Pentagon of wellness.

And we're gonna go into the Pentagon of Wellness today for a very, very timeless topic.

These are the AMAs that every single week, myself and my co-pilot, Mar, out there on an island in the middle of the ocean called the Azores, just basking in the sun.

And I say this every AMA, I'm like, I live vicariously through you, Mar.

Before we get into the AMA, Just tell people a little bit about your existence out there if they don't know you they don't know anything about you What's your life like?

What is life like being a content manager for the Willness + Wisdom podcast, working together with us, and also getting to surf and finding this work-life balance that I think so many of us are striving for?

I think you do a pretty good job of that. So yes, thank you for being here as always on the AMAs. Mar, just give people a little snapshot into your life. All right.

Well, when it comes to my job, I feel like I'm 1 of the most fortunate people in the world who got a job that actually feels like I'm studying every day.

So I'm learning from you, I'm learning from the guests that we have on the podcast, and I'm just constantly growing as a person, which that's like the biggest benefits anybody could give you at a job. So I'm super grateful for that opportunity.

And when it comes to my personal life, I'm just happy to be in the water, in nature. And whenever I'm not doing that, I'm trying to work on my personal goals as well, because I do have those big ambitions.

I'm not sure if it's because I'm Capricorn. But yeah, I've always had big, great big dreams. And I'm just making sure that they become eventually goals and plans and reality.

Yeah, it sounds like it. I mean, you're in a good place to do that because it's really hard to create any life from a place compression.

And being out there in nature, look, it's one of the things we talk about all the freaking time on this podcast is the power of nature. You know, the Japanese doctors call it Shinrin-yoku, where they actually prescribe nature patients.

And it's so easy to listen to this podcast. By the end of this podcast, by the way, my goal is that you leave these next 10, 15 minutes with some nugget that's actionable, that'll really move the needle in your life. That's my promise to you...

[06:00] Behavior Is Language

Let's talk about behavior because behavior comes in many forms. Behavior comes in really the 5 core emotions, right? And in those 5 core emotions, some people describe it as anger, joy or love, fear, disgust, and sadness. I think those are pretty core.

Now you could extrapolate those to many different things, but those 5 core emotions, those are the ones that behavior comes from. Let's go in stages here.

Why do people behave in a way, either ourselves or others, where they say one thing, but then they do another? Can you feel this? Do you relate to this?

Maybe a family member or a spouse or husband or wife, boyfriend or girlfriend, brother or sister, aunt, uncle, grandpa, grandma. We've all experienced this.

And then we've even experienced it ourselves, where behavior is truly a form of language. Because here's what behavior does, behavior communicates someone's truest intention, whether it's unconscious or conscious.

So behavior is really information, right? It's information about what someone's thinking, what someone's feeling, what their intention is, or what their kind of general baseline attitude is, right?

There are a few reasons why behavior is, in my opinion, the biggest barometer of language. Behavior is language. And I want to go to this concept for you. Behavior is language.

What someone says and what someone does when there's a disconnect between the two, it just means that there's an integrity break. There's a break in the bond of integrity between what someone says they are, or what someone says they're going to do, or what someone says their intention is, and what actually shows up.

So the first thing is the intention, right? When someone has an intention, for case in point, if I have an intention to have a loving day with my lady, with my beloved Carrie Michelle, to connect with my children, and I don't behave in that way...

It means that I'm out of integrity. It means that maybe I'm not feeling well or I'm trying to force something or I'm doing best and y'all can relate to this.

You have an intention of how you want your day to go but then all of a sudden, boom, boom, boom, boom, things happen.

You find yourself in a vortex of reactivity instead of responsiveness.

You find yourself not breathing.

You find yourself reaching for unhealthy food.

You find yourself doing something, and as you're doing it, you're like, Why am I doing this? Why am I actually doing this?

It's because you have not gotten clear enough on what your language truly is. The thoughts and the things and the words that we speak to ourselves, that is the first thing. This is why we've talked about this before, Mar. Same thing with different words, right? Know thyself.

If you do not have, if we do not have a constant barometer of through meditation, through stillness, through nature, through self-reflection, through emotional inventory, A great resource for this that we're going to link in the podcast is JoshTrent.com/437.

We'll also link a few other practicals, I told you I'd give you some nuggets today, a practical tool set where you can take an emotional inventory.

If you find that your behavior is different than what you say. So the communication of intentions that I'm talking about here, and I'll go back to my own vulnerability.

I say that not because I'm gonna virtue signal my vulnerability because this is real for me in my life right now. So I have struggled in the past couple of months with expansion, stepping into bigger responsibility financially, stepping into a bigger house, stepping into 3 acres of land, stepping into dealing with contractors, stepping into more sleep deprivation because my children are keeping us, especially Carrie Michelle. Just stepping into more, right?

And a lot of times whenever we step into more, our behavior is much different than what we say. So the behavior is actually language because the behavior communicates what's really going on inside of the human and what's really going on inside of the human is a feeling that hasn't been addressed, a narrative that's unhealthy, or a way of talking to yourself, a way of thinking that is really deteriorating intention.

Here's a specific example. And then I'll pass it to you Mar, because I really want to know from a, not just from a woman's perspective, just from a different perspective in life because gosh, I'm just a man.

This is why it's so important that we have this balance of masculine and feminine energy because gosh, for all the men listening, we do not have it wired, y'all. And the same thing for the women. I don't think y'all have it wired either.

We need each other. We need each other. We need each other. We need this balance of opposites. So let's go into this, right?

Vulnerably, there has been a lot of fighting in my household lately. And I have noticed that when I have the intention, I wake up in the morning, before my feet even hit the floor, I notice these thoughts coming in, this narrative. Remember, I said behavior is language, right? So what happens before behavior?...

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Links From Today's Show 

• 437 Josh Trent | Death & Rebirth: Why I’m Saying Goodbye to Wellness Force…
• breathwork.io
• JoshTrent.com/M21
• 630 Mark Groves + Kylie McBeath | Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns + Create The Love You Desire
• 548 Dr. Stan Tatkin | Healing Toxic Relationships: What’s The Bite That Fits Each Other’s Wounds?
• The Tired Dad
• Brain Games
• 652 Dr. John Delony | Building A Non-Anxious Life: How To Find Peace During Chaos

 

 

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