#161 : The Three Instruments of Formation: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Shape Your Family’s Story
Release Date: 07/16/2025
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Every family is being shaped by a story, whether we realize it or not. The question isn’t if formation is happening…it’s what kind of formation is happening, and whether it’s rooted in fear or freedom. In this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root. We also revisit the Three Doors framework and share how real families—maybe even yours—are living in stories of survival, striving, or freedom. Most of us...
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Episode Summary: Before a single word is spoken, we’ve already told a story. The emotional and spiritual tone we carry into a room—our atmosphere—is one of the most powerful instruments of formation in family life. In this episode, we unpack what atmosphere is, why it matters, and how it quietly shapes what our children believe about love, safety, identity, and belonging. You’ll discover how the Three Doors framework (Survival, Striving, and Transformation) shows up in the “air” of our homes and why peace-building—not pressure—creates the soil where souls...
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What if prayer wasn’t about getting the words right, but about being real? In this tender and honest conversation, Janet and Doug sit down with poet and author Tanner Olson, whose new children’s book All the Things I Say to God is helping families make prayer a natural part of everyday life. They explore Tanner and his wife’s journey through infertility and adoption, the power of surrender, and what it means to live a creative life anchored in faith, family, and honest conversations with God. You’re in the Right Place If… You want to raise kids who feel safe enough...
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If your children are grown—or even moving back home—and you’ve just now found language for what it means to live loved instead of afraid… this episode is for you. Today, we’re responding to questions from listeners who’ve read the manifesto, heard the message at Network 220, watched , or started exploring Practicing the Art of Being Family. They’re asking: “Do these truths still apply if my kids are already out of the house?” And, "Is there still great hope if my children are already grown?" The answer is yes. Because you’re still a parent—but...
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Today, we have the joy of welcoming Robby Angle, President and CEO of , to the Love is Fearless Podcast! Robby is passionate about helping people move from simply knowing about grace to living out their true identity in Jesus—with trust, freedom, and relational depth. Before leading Trueface, Robby pastored thousands toward authentic community at North Point Community Church. Now, he’s helping steward a powerful new resource called —an experience designed to move believers beyond striving and into a transformational life of trusting God. Also, is designed...
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In this special episode of LOVE IS FEARLESS, Janet and Doug are joined by Sarah Boyd—author, child and adolescent development expert, and founder of . Sarah’s new book, Turn Down the Noise, offers a much-needed guide to raising emotionally healthy kids in today’s overstimulated world. This warm, insightful conversation explores the realities families face and the hope available when we slow down, simplify, and create a safe emotional atmosphere at home. You’re in the Right Place If… You feel caught between wanting to slow down and fearing what will happen if you do....
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What if your parenting struggles aren’t about strategy—but about the story your family is living? In this episode, Janet introduces The Three Doors—a simple but powerful framework that reveals how the emotional and spiritual atmosphere of your home helps conform or transform the people your children become. Whether you’re stuck in survival, exhausted from striving, or longing for something more—this conversation will give you hope, clarity, and practical next steps. We’re not managing behavior—we’re building a culture where transformation grows. 🔑 You’re in the...
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Episode Summary: Parenting is exhausting—but what if the struggle isn’t because you’re doing it wrong, but because you’re aiming at the wrong target? In this episode, we unpack the story of an Olympic athlete who hit the bullseye—but lost everything because he was aiming at the wrong lane. This powerful analogy helps parents recognize how our culture trains us to aim at compliance instead of wholeness—and why that’s a costly misalignment. If parenting feels like a constant battle to "get it right," this episode will help you reframe your target and find a...
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Struggle isn’t the enemy, but how we navigate it can either weaken or strengthen our families. In this episode of Love Is Fearless, we’re tackling a fundamental shift that can change everything about the way we experience challenges at home and beyond. The world teaches us to fear struggle, to fix it, avoid it, or control it. But the kingdom of God offers a completely different way forward—one that leads to peace, connection, and resilience instead of exhaustion and shame. Today, we’re diving into the power of relational terrain—the unseen atmosphere of trust, connection,...
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In this special episode of the Love Is Fearless podcast, we’re excited to launch something deeply personal and transformative—our manifesto: “Restoring the Lost Art of Being Family.” These aren’t just words on a page; they’re an invitation to reimagine what’s possible for your family. 🔑 In this episode, we discuss five key ideas from the manifesto: 1. Great parents are first great children. Before you can lead your family well, you have to embrace your identity as a child of God. Parenting isn’t just about what you do—it’s about...
info_outlineIn this episode, we introduce The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—and explore how they help create secure, connected homes where faith and maturity can take root.
You’re in the Right Place If…
- You’re tired of reacting in the moment and want to be intentional about shaping your home.
- You’ve ever wondered why your family feels stuck—and what it would take to create real change.
- You want practical ways to create a secure, grace-filled environment for your kids.
- You believe there’s more to parenting than behavior management—and you’re ready to experience it.
- Formation is always happening—the atmosphere, rhythms, and input in your home are shaping your family’s story every day.
- Secure relationships—not pressure, performance, or perfection, are the foundation for maturity and a life of faith.
- The Three Instruments of Formation—Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life—are simple, practical tools to help your family align with freedom, not fear.
- It’s never too late to shift the story you’re living and passing on. Small, intentional changes make a lasting difference.
- Episode #155: How The Story You Live Shapes the Family You Build
- The Three Doors Article: The Three Doors: Why Families Survive, Strive, or Find Freedom
- New Article: How Atmosphere, Discipline, and Life Form Your Family
- Practicing the Art of Being Family (eBook) — A simple, grace-filled guide for real-life family transformation
- The Curated Life Newsletter — Join the community for encouragement and resources to live loved, not afraid
We’re a donor-supported ministry helping families and communities practice the art of being family—through consulting, curriculum, speaking, and storytelling. Explore more and support our work at John15Academy.com/give.