Why Your Kid Isn't Doing Their Homework with Elyse Dworin
Complicated Kids
Behavior is never just behavior. In this conversation, holistic academic support coach Elyse Dworin joins me to look underneath school struggles, homework battles, and “I don’t feel well” complaints through a whole-child lens. We talk about behavior as a symptom, not a character flaw, and explore how challenges with executive function, overwhelm, social stress, or undiagnosed needs can show up as avoidance, lashing out, or shutdown long before a child has words for what’s wrong. Elyse walks us through simple, body-based tools to help kids (and parents) tune back in: grounding...
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Building Resilience with Dr. Kate Lund
Complicated Kids
Some families are living on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute everyone seems fine. The next, it feels like the wheels are coming off. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Kate Lund, a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, and twin mom, to talk about resilience as a way of living rather than a trait you either have or do not have. Instead of seeing resilience as “you hit a challenge and bounce back,” we explore what it looks like to build a steadier baseline so you can ride the waves of real life with a little more ease. Dr. Kate shares how she helps...
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It’s Not Just Autism with Dr. Jodie Dashore
Complicated Kids
Some kids are labeled “autistic” when their bodies are actually screaming for help. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Jodie Dashore, an internationally recognized integrative practitioner and clinical herbalist, to talk about the kids who don’t fit neatly into “just autism.” These are the kids with paralysis, bone pain, rashes, fevers, breathing issues, crushing anxiety, or terror—and all of it gets folded under one word: autism. Dr. Dashore shares her personal and professional story, including her son’s terrifying descent into wheelchairs, tics, and...
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The Bad News About Untreated ADHD with Karin Varblow
Complicated Kids
ADHD is not just about attention. It is about self-control, self-esteem, and what happens when the brain goes offline. Living with untreated ADHD is not just about missing assignments. It is about moving through the world without a reliable connection between what you know and what you do. In this conversation, I talk with Dr. Karin Varblow, a behavioral pediatrician, former teacher and social worker, neurodivergent adult, and mom to neurodivergent kids. We look closely at what untreated ADHD really costs over a lifetime, from self-esteem and identity to health, safety, relationships, and even...
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Turning Autism Complexity Into Clarity with Dr. Theresa Lyons
Complicated Kids
Autism content is not the same thing as autism science. In this episode, Dr. Theresa Lyons joins me to talk about what it really means to follow the science of autism, and why parents cannot rely on headlines, algorithms, or outdated assumptions when the stakes are this high. Theresa is a Yale trained scientist and autism parent, and she breaks down how peer reviewed research actually moves, how easily it gets distorted, and why it can take 20 to 30 years for scientific conclusions to become common medical practice. We talk about how misinformation spreads online, including research showing...
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Play is a Nutrient Not an Indulgence with Annamarie von Firley
Complicated Kids
Play is where development lives, even when it looks simple, repetitive, or messy. In this conversation, Annamarie von Firley joins me to unpack why play is essential to early brain development and why children need hands-on experiences far more than screens, flashcards, or noisy battery powered toys. We talk about how babies learn to operate their bodies, how repetition builds neural connections, and why dumping, filling, banging, sorting, and mouthing objects are critical stages of growth. Annamarie explains how the brain develops most rapidly from birth to age three, why fine motor and...
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Clear Communication with Kati Morton
Complicated Kids
Trouble ensues when we avoid saying what we actually need and expect the people we love to just know. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Kati Morton, a licensed marriage and family therapist and longtime mental health educator, to talk about why clear, direct communication is not just a nice-to-have, but a skill that can change relationships and, in some cases, save them. We dig into why so many of us avoid saying what we actually need, how resentment builds when we expect others to read our minds, and why discomfort is not something to run from, but something to move...
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What Not to Say to Your Anxious Teen with Sophia Galano
Complicated Kids
“Listening is fixing: what anxious teens wish their parents knew.” In this episode of Complicated Kids, I talk with therapist and author Sophia Galano about what teenage anxiety actually looks like, and why it is so easy for even the most caring parents to miss. Sophia explains that teens are not expert communicators. Their distress often shows up as irritability, withdrawal, “attitude,” or “teen angst,” and it can be brushed off as a phase when it is really a cry for help. We dig into the difference between everyday worry and clinically significant anxiety, and how to look at both...
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MTHFR Gene with Elyse Dworin
Complicated Kids
Could a common gene variant be quietly clogging the system for you or your child? In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with holistic academic coach Elyse Dworin to talk about the MTHFR gene: what it is, what it does, and why it matters for neurodivergent kids and their parents. Elyse explains, in plain language, how this gene helps the body process folate, manage toxins, and regulate inflammation, and what can happen when a variant plus a modern “enriched” diet start to overload the system. We get into her personal story of brain fog, gut issues, anxiety, and years of “IBS”...
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Forever Parenting with Sarah Wayland
Complicated Kids
What happens when parenting doesn’t end when your child turns 18? In this special episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with my friend Dr. Sarah Wayland to talk about “forever parenting,” those situations where parents remain deeply involved in their child’s life and care well into adulthood, sometimes for the rest of their lives. Sarah shares three common paths into forever parenting: children whose developmental differences are clear early on; kids who look “on track” until they hit a wall in college or young adulthood; and those whose lives change suddenly through accident,...
info_outlineADHD is not just about attention. It is about self-control, self-esteem, and what happens when the brain goes offline.
Living with untreated ADHD is not just about missing assignments. It is about moving through the world without a reliable connection between what you know and what you do.
In this conversation, I talk with Dr. Karin Varblow, a behavioral pediatrician, former teacher and social worker, neurodivergent adult, and mom to neurodivergent kids. We look closely at what untreated ADHD really costs over a lifetime, from self-esteem and identity to health, safety, relationships, and even life expectancy.
Dr. Karin explains why ADHD is not simply a “school problem” and why kids who “know better” still cannot always do better in the moment. She shares her “know and go” model of the brain, which helps make sense of why lectures and bigger consequences do not lead to different behavior, and why kids so often feel confused and ashamed by their own actions.
We also talk about sleep, airway, co-occurring conditions, and how things like anxiety, trauma, allergies, and disordered sleep can overlap with ADHD or even mask it. Dr. Karin breaks down what good treatment actually looks like in real life, including medication, parent training, behavior supports, and making daily life more stimulating and relevant for the ADHD brain.
If you have ever wondered whether ADHD “really” needs treatment, or felt discouraged by mixed messages, this episode will help you see the bigger picture with more clarity and more compassion for you and your child.
Key Takeaways
- Untreated ADHD is not just about school performance. It affects self-esteem, identity, health, safety, relationships, income, and even life expectancy over time.
- Research shows that people with untreated ADHD have higher rates of emergency room visits, poverty, incarceration, and an average life expectancy that is years shorter than their non-ADHD peers. Treatment meaningfully improves these outcomes.
- ADHD is both overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed, and it often shows up alongside other conditions like anxiety, depression, learning differences, sleep disorders, allergies, GI issues, and trauma. Sorting out “what’s what” takes time and thoughtful evaluation.
- Effective ADHD treatment is not one thing. The strongest evidence supports a combination of medication and behavior modification, with behavior modification defined as training and support for parents, not “fixing the child” in a weekly session.
- Behavior plans that focus only on lectures and bigger consequences usually miss the mark. Most kids already know the rules. The problem is not a lack of knowledge, it is a lack of access to that knowledge in the moment.
- Dr. Karin’s “know and go” model helps explain this: the “know” part of the brain holds rules, values, and experience; the “go” part drives behavior. In ADHD, especially around non-preferred tasks, the “go” can take off before the “know” ever gets a say.
- That disconnect is why kids so often say “I don’t know why I did that” and mean it. They are not being manipulative. They are genuinely confused and often ashamed, because their behavior does not match what they actually believe or want.
- ADHD brains do have strong executive function in areas of high interest. A child who cannot organize themselves around homework may show incredible focus, planning, and follow-through when building Legos or diving into a favorite topic.
- Sleep, breathing, immune function, and overall health matter. Airway issues, disordered sleep, allergies, and inflammation can all worsen attention, regulation, and behavior, and sometimes even mimic ADHD. Addressing these pieces is part of good care.
- Supporting a child with ADHD means changing the story from “try harder” to “let’s change how we’re asking, what we’re asking, and how we’re supporting you.” When adults focus on relevance, relationship, and realistic support, kids get more access to their best selves.
About Karin Varblow
Dr. Karin Varblow is a behavioral pediatrician and neurodivergence specialist who has built a career around coordinated, whole-family ADHD care. She earned her BA from Duke University and her MD from The George Washington University School of Medicine as a National Health Service Corps Scholar, and completed her Pediatrics residency at INOVA Fairfax Hospital for Children.
Dr. Varblow’s work is shaped by her unique path as a former educator and social worker, a former general pediatrician, a parent in a neurodiverse family, and an individual with ADHD herself. She supports families through medication management, parent support, behavior modification, care coordination, advocacy, and strategy development, with a focus on helping children thrive in real life, not just “meet expectations.”
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
Gabriele Nicolet, toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
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