Why Your Kid Isn't Doing Their Homework with Elyse Dworin
Complicated Kids
Behavior is never just behavior. In this conversation, holistic academic support coach Elyse Dworin joins me to look underneath school struggles, homework battles, and “I don’t feel well” complaints through a whole-child lens. We talk about behavior as a symptom, not a character flaw, and explore how challenges with executive function, overwhelm, social stress, or undiagnosed needs can show up as avoidance, lashing out, or shutdown long before a child has words for what’s wrong. Elyse walks us through simple, body-based tools to help kids (and parents) tune back in: grounding...
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Building Resilience with Dr. Kate Lund
Complicated Kids
Some families are living on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute everyone seems fine. The next, it feels like the wheels are coming off. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Kate Lund, a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, and twin mom, to talk about resilience as a way of living rather than a trait you either have or do not have. Instead of seeing resilience as “you hit a challenge and bounce back,” we explore what it looks like to build a steadier baseline so you can ride the waves of real life with a little more ease. Dr. Kate shares how she helps...
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It’s Not Just Autism with Dr. Jodie Dashore
Complicated Kids
Some kids are labeled “autistic” when their bodies are actually screaming for help. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Jodie Dashore, an internationally recognized integrative practitioner and clinical herbalist, to talk about the kids who don’t fit neatly into “just autism.” These are the kids with paralysis, bone pain, rashes, fevers, breathing issues, crushing anxiety, or terror—and all of it gets folded under one word: autism. Dr. Dashore shares her personal and professional story, including her son’s terrifying descent into wheelchairs, tics, and...
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The Bad News About Untreated ADHD with Karin Varblow
Complicated Kids
ADHD is not just about attention. It is about self-control, self-esteem, and what happens when the brain goes offline. Living with untreated ADHD is not just about missing assignments. It is about moving through the world without a reliable connection between what you know and what you do. In this conversation, I talk with Dr. Karin Varblow, a behavioral pediatrician, former teacher and social worker, neurodivergent adult, and mom to neurodivergent kids. We look closely at what untreated ADHD really costs over a lifetime, from self-esteem and identity to health, safety, relationships, and even...
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Turning Autism Complexity Into Clarity with Dr. Theresa Lyons
Complicated Kids
Autism content is not the same thing as autism science. In this episode, Dr. Theresa Lyons joins me to talk about what it really means to follow the science of autism, and why parents cannot rely on headlines, algorithms, or outdated assumptions when the stakes are this high. Theresa is a Yale trained scientist and autism parent, and she breaks down how peer reviewed research actually moves, how easily it gets distorted, and why it can take 20 to 30 years for scientific conclusions to become common medical practice. We talk about how misinformation spreads online, including research showing...
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Play is a Nutrient Not an Indulgence with Annamarie von Firley
Complicated Kids
Play is where development lives, even when it looks simple, repetitive, or messy. In this conversation, Annamarie von Firley joins me to unpack why play is essential to early brain development and why children need hands-on experiences far more than screens, flashcards, or noisy battery powered toys. We talk about how babies learn to operate their bodies, how repetition builds neural connections, and why dumping, filling, banging, sorting, and mouthing objects are critical stages of growth. Annamarie explains how the brain develops most rapidly from birth to age three, why fine motor and...
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Clear Communication with Kati Morton
Complicated Kids
Trouble ensues when we avoid saying what we actually need and expect the people we love to just know. In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Kati Morton, a licensed marriage and family therapist and longtime mental health educator, to talk about why clear, direct communication is not just a nice-to-have, but a skill that can change relationships and, in some cases, save them. We dig into why so many of us avoid saying what we actually need, how resentment builds when we expect others to read our minds, and why discomfort is not something to run from, but something to move...
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What Not to Say to Your Anxious Teen with Sophia Galano
Complicated Kids
“Listening is fixing: what anxious teens wish their parents knew.” In this episode of Complicated Kids, I talk with therapist and author Sophia Galano about what teenage anxiety actually looks like, and why it is so easy for even the most caring parents to miss. Sophia explains that teens are not expert communicators. Their distress often shows up as irritability, withdrawal, “attitude,” or “teen angst,” and it can be brushed off as a phase when it is really a cry for help. We dig into the difference between everyday worry and clinically significant anxiety, and how to look at both...
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MTHFR Gene with Elyse Dworin
Complicated Kids
Could a common gene variant be quietly clogging the system for you or your child? In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with holistic academic coach Elyse Dworin to talk about the MTHFR gene: what it is, what it does, and why it matters for neurodivergent kids and their parents. Elyse explains, in plain language, how this gene helps the body process folate, manage toxins, and regulate inflammation, and what can happen when a variant plus a modern “enriched” diet start to overload the system. We get into her personal story of brain fog, gut issues, anxiety, and years of “IBS”...
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Forever Parenting with Sarah Wayland
Complicated Kids
What happens when parenting doesn’t end when your child turns 18? In this special episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with my friend Dr. Sarah Wayland to talk about “forever parenting,” those situations where parents remain deeply involved in their child’s life and care well into adulthood, sometimes for the rest of their lives. Sarah shares three common paths into forever parenting: children whose developmental differences are clear early on; kids who look “on track” until they hit a wall in college or young adulthood; and those whose lives change suddenly through accident,...
info_outlineSome families are living on an emotional rollercoaster. One minute everyone seems fine. The next, it feels like the wheels are coming off.
In this episode of Complicated Kids, I sit down with Dr. Kate Lund, a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, and twin mom, to talk about resilience as a way of living rather than a trait you either have or do not have. Instead of seeing resilience as “you hit a challenge and bounce back,” we explore what it looks like to build a steadier baseline so you can ride the waves of real life with a little more ease.
Dr. Kate shares how she helps parents understand their own context first. That includes their nervous system, history, strengths, and the particular stressors they are carrying. From there, we talk about practical tools for modulating your stress response, including a simple daily relaxation practice that helps you learn what “regulated” actually feels like in your body so you can return to it more often.
We also talk about timing. Kids of all ages need space to feel their feelings before they can look for possibilities or “what’s next.” We walk through real-life examples, including college rejections, tough games, and everyday disappointments, and how to sit with your child’s emotions without rushing to fix them.
A big part of this conversation focuses on perfectionism and comparison. Dr. Kate and I discuss why there is no resilience formula, why siblings in the same family can need completely different things, and how to move away from “perfect outcome” thinking and toward doing what is optimized within your own context.
If you’ve ever wondered how to be a grounded leader in your family while still being a real human with your own feelings and limits, this episode will give you language, tools, and a more compassionate way to think about resilience for both you and your kids.
Key Takeaways
- Resilience is a lifestyle, not a moment. Regulation becomes more accessible when tools are woven into daily life instead of saved for crises.
- Your nervous system sets the tone. When you are already stressed, even small challenges can overwhelm the whole family.
- A simple daily practice matters. A five-minute breathing practice paired with a calming word can teach your body what calm feels like.
- Self-awareness comes before strategy. Resilient parenting starts with being honest about your own strengths, limits, and stress patterns.
- Every child has their own context. Siblings can need completely different support based on their nervous systems.
- Validation comes before possibility. Kids need their feelings acknowledged before they can move forward.
- Sharing struggles builds connection. Age-appropriate honesty shows kids that resilience includes falling down and getting back up.
- Perfectionism blocks resilience. Growth happens when you work within your real life, not an imaginary ideal.
- There is no one-size-fits-all formula. Resilient families stay curious and adjust over time.
- Possibility lives on the other side of hard things. Holding a long view allows hope without minimizing today’s challenges.
About Dr. Kate Lund
Dr. Kate Lund is a licensed clinical psychologist, resilience expert, author, and host of The Optimized Mind podcast. With specialized training from three Harvard Medical School–affiliated hospitals and more than two decades of clinical practice, she helps parents, athletes, students, and entrepreneurs thrive within their unique contexts. She is the author of Bounce: Help Your Child Build Resilience and Thrive in School, Sports, and Life and Step Away: The Keys to Resilient Parenting. Dr. Kate also volunteers at Seattle Children’s Hospital with her dog, Wally, supporting young patients facing medical challenges.
About Your Host, Gabriele Nicolet
I’m Gabriele Nicolet—toddler whisperer, speech therapist, parenting life coach, and host of Complicated Kids. Each week, I share practical, relationship-based strategies for raising kids with big feelings, big needs, and beautifully different brains. My goal is to help families move from surviving to thriving by building connection, confidence, and clarity at home.
Complicated Kids Resources and Links
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