Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

File 11:  In today’s file, the team dives into the topic of terminations.  Breaking up is hard to do, but it doesn’t have to be for either the employee or the manager delivering the news.  The key is to do it with dignity.

Molley and Jamie begin with comments about how they’ve been in situations involving a decision to terminate an employee and how stressful the entire situation can be.  In situations involving a lack of performance, the separation should never come as a surprise to that individual.  However, when there are unforeseen layoffs, business closings or similar situations, these can be particularly difficult.

Termination for Poor Performance

As a leader, once you recognize someone is struggling in a role there are actions you can take to work to determine why he/she is failing to meet performance expectations.  This is why a performance-related termination should never come as a surprise.  There should have been coaching and plans made to help the individual to become more successful.  At the same time, expectations should be effectively communicated.  When that doesn’t happen (or hasn’t happened), it makes it even worse.

Jamie describes a TikTok video an employee made of her actual termination phone call.  The call was handled by someone in HR she’d never met, instead of her manager/supervisor.  The employee provides specific metrics she knew were used in evaluating performance for her role.  The HR professional didn’t handle the conversation effectively.  There are many ways this could have gone better for both individuals.

Layoffs and Business Closings

As a business leader, you should make a concentrated effort to be candid about the business, especially when speaking with your employees.  How are you communicating about how your business is performing?  If hard times are happening, your employees should be aware of the potential steps that might be required.  Your organization needs to be prepared to help you to right the ship and at the same time, to understand what the consequences might involve if that doesn’t happen.

Molley shares a story about the time she was laid off from a large, financial services company.  Jamie builds on that with her own personal story about her husband’s layoff notification, which came while they were opening their wedding gifts.   

Consider the Person

Ask questions to determine the best way to deliver the information.  Layoffs may be the exception, but even then, how the communication is handled makes a significant difference. 

What is the individual’s work history and what to you know about him/her?  The tenure an employee has with the company can influence how the conversation should be handled. 

Have you had direct conversations with this person, before making the decision to terminate?  Does this person actually know the situation and what could potentially happen if they can’t improve their performance?  Have you considered the types of objections the employee might offer as justification for remaining part of the organization?  What are some of the needs the individual might be concerned about, as a result of the termination?

There should not be one, single script used to terminate every employee.  There could be common points, such as a severance package or a checklist, but the overall conversation should be customized based on some of the above-mentioned questions.

There’s also a personal-safety consideration.  Has this person exhibited any signs of a tendency that could escalate into a workplace violence situation?  If so, what steps should be implemented prior to the conversation?

Cleaning Out the Office

This is a very emotional step.  There are ways to handle this to avoid causing embarrassment and/or shame.  Jamie offers some alternative advice.

Having someone, such as security, stand over the person while their cleaning out their office, anticipates something bad occurring.  Has this individual given you reason to expect they’d do something to harm company property or make a scene? 

What if the company has a company vehicle?  Have you planned on how this handoff should happen?  Are you going to end up forcing the employee to stand outside waiting for their spouse or friend to pick them up?  Would it be possible for someone to pick up the vehicle at their home, instead?

Allow the person the opportunity to separate with dignity.  Remember, depending on where the company is located, the option of calling an Uber might not be either practical or available.

The Importance of Delivering the Message with Compassion

Having someone whom the person doesn’t know deliver the message was already covered in today’s discussion.  The person deliver the message needs to be knowledgeable about the person being terminated, understand the reasons for the decision and to be prepared for the discussion.

Providing for a conversation that preserves the person’s dignity is important.  Be prepared to answer questions from the individual.  These could involve the date benefits will end, when he/she will receive the last paycheck, payment for unused vacation days, etc. 

Do you have information on the process for filing for unemployment benefits?  Jamie has seen a large-company layoff situation in which the employer brought in someone to answer questions about the process for filing for unemployment and related questions.

Even if the company is forced to lay off a larger number of people, having one-to-one discussions is a better way to handle the situation.  The individual may have unique needs and questions. 

When the communication is not handled properly, the story will get told and retold which will inevitably damage your company’s brand reputation. 

When It Goes Off-The-Rails

How you handle this greatly depends on whether you had a plan in case this were to happen.  A termination is a highly-emotional situation.  Jamie suggests you approach it by asking yourself, “How would I want someone very special to me to be treated, in this moment?”

There’s no reason you can’t simply stop the conversation to give the person a little time to regain his/her composure.  Consider asking, “Is there anything I can do to make this moment different for you?”

The Importance of Creating Optionality

When it comes to cleaning out the person’s workspace, there are a number of ways to approach it.  Would the individual prefer to have you retrieve specific, personal items for that individual?  Jason points out that these questions create “optionality” for someone who’s in a situation in which they aren’t feeling as if they have many options, at that moment.  There are natural reactions to feeling as if you’ve been backed into a corner.  Providing the individual options, or the feeling that they have a few choices, can de-escalate their feelings of helplessness.

Consider asking if the individual would prefer to have the personal items mailed to them.  This way the items could be collected after everyone has left for the evening.  There’s the option of having you do it and meeting them back in the lobby, rather than standing over their shoulder has they clear out their desk.

If your company has a policy regarding what a person can retrieve, is it practical and reasonable?   

They’re Feeling Worse

If you are the one tasked with delivering the termination, it can be extremely uncomfortable.  That’s understandable.  However, it still needs to be handled with dignity.  Remember, regardless of how uncomfortable you’re feeling, as the messenger, the person receiving the message is feeling worse at this very moment.  Challenge your leadership to consider a more compassionate way to handle the termination process.

The Best-Case Scenario

When someone receives the news that he/she is being terminated, they’re going to experience panic.  It’s a natural emotion.  What are they going to do?  How are they going to tell their spouse?  How will they find another job? 

If you go into the situation with the understanding of how this person will be feeling and the questions they’re going to have (whether spoken or unspoken), you can be better prepared for the best-case scenario.

Do you have information about outplacement services with you in the discussion?  Jamie explains how a company she was involved with provided outplacement services for any employee who left, regardless of the reason.  It required minimal cost to the organization.  It delivered a high-degree of service.  It walked the person through the process of updating a résumé, updating a LinkedIn profile, interview and job-search tips.  It included advice regarding leveraging the individual’s personal and/professional network. 

Why do this?  It actually can reduce your unemployment expense.  It may lower your exposure to potential litigation.  It still conveys that the organization cares about the individual and his/her success. 

Can you prepare a letter of recommendation for the individual, or an offer to do so, in an effort to help them move forward? 

Providing these types of service can shift the way the person experiences the conversation.  There are appropriate ways a company can communicate to the remaining team (i.e. after a large layoff) about the steps it took to help those dismissed individuals.  This might help to positively position the brand of company.  It shows the organization cares.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

These conversations are never easy, nor should they be.  Take those extra steps to make an effort to soften the blow by helping the individual to move forward.  Molley reminds us that we’re all humans.  It’s all personal, whether we want to think of it in that light or not.  It’s important to remember to be human.  It matters.

That’s where we’ll leave the conversation for today.  Before we close the file, we invite you to reach out to us with questions, suggestions or other comments.  We’d love to hear from you.

Need Help Supporting Your Company’s Recruiting and Staffing Goals?

We’re here to help.  You can contact us via our individual websites, depending on your specific needs or questions:

·      Jamie Swaim, SPHR – www.ParcelKnows.com

·      Molley Ricketts – www.IncipioWorks.com

·      Jason Heflin – www.CrowdSouth.com

We hope you found this file insightful and helpful.  Thank you for listening!