Coming Out: LGBTQ+ Challenges in Adoption with Joe Toolan - Ep 135
Release Date: 03/04/2024
Building Resilience: DBT Techniques for Overcoming Adoption-Related Challenges with Sharon Stein McNamara - Ep 184
Unraveling Adoption
"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup....
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Breathwork and Healing: A Journey Through Adoption Trauma with Kellan Bacon - Ep 183
Unraveling Adoption
"I was one of these slight skeptics; I was like, well I've been breathing all my life, what can breathwork do for me?" -- Kellan Bacon Hear the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JKBNQJYFFZT18Z0XSMHHTH37 EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kellan Bacon, a gender-expansive, transracial adoptee from China, who was adopted as an infant in 1998 and now resides in Cardiff, Wales. Kellan has recently launched a professional practice called Kai Ming Holistics, where they utilize breathwork and other embodied...
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Responding to the Siren Call: Navigating Birth Family Connections with Susan Kiyo Ito - Ep 182
Unraveling Adoption
"I think she had a deep ambivalence about me, knowing me, having a relationship with me from the very beginning." -- Susan Kiyo Ito Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan Kiyo Ito, a writing professor and author of the memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere. Susan's book, a culmination of 30 years of work, explores her journey as a biracial adoptee—half Japanese and half white—who was adopted at three and a half months old by Japanese American parents. We delved into Susan's origin story, her...
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The Rebellious Adoptee: Finding Healing and Community After a Traumatic Childhood with Dave Sanchez-Brown - Ep 181
Unraveling Adoption
"The most healing thing for me now has been the support of other adoptees." -- Dave Sanchez-Brown Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJD8EF1R7VJ6J0V5GXRWXJY4 =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Dave Sanchez-Brown, an adoptee who has bravely navigated the complexities of adoption, mental health struggles, and addiction. Dave shared his adoption story, which took a significant turn after he read Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance. Inspired, he decided to take a DNA test, leading...
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Adoption in India: Insights from an Adoptee Therapist with Dr. Asra Ali - Ep 180
Unraveling Adoption
"It's a deep rooted fear of every adoptive parent that the parent will get rejected." - Dr. Asra Ali Read the transcript of this episode here: =============== Join Unraveling Adoption's in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India whose adoption was facilitated by Mother Teresa. Dr. Asra shared her unique adoption story, highlighting the positive experiences she had growing up in a loving...
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From Secrets to Self-Discovery: A Late Discovery Adoptee’s Story with Brad Ewell - Ep 179
Unraveling Adoption
"I was able to kind of reinvent myself into who I probably would have been at some level had I not been adopted." -- Brad Ewell Read the transcript: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Brad Ewell, a late discovery adoptee (LDA) who learned about his adoption at the age of 48. Brad shared his shocking journey of self-discovery after taking an ancestry DNA test, which revealed a truth that had been hidden from him for nearly five decades. He discussed the confusion and betrayal he felt upon learning that everyone around him had known he was...
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REPLAY Behind the Scenes of Because She's Adopted: A Filmmaker's Journey with Kristal Parke - Ep 178
Unraveling Adoption
"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG7AR0SN4Y6M7WW6E7WEK0AT EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kristal Parke, a talented filmmaker and adoptee, about her acclaimed documentary, Because She's Adopted. As we kick off 2025, we are excited to offer a replay of our conversation, which dives deep into the complexities of adoption and the personal journey Kristal undertook while...
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From Control to Acceptance: Parenting Through Grief with Jessica Fein - Ep 177
Unraveling Adoption
"We followed her lead. And so there was a lot of laughter and there was a lot of beauty." -- Jessica Fein Read the episode transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jessica Fein, an adoptive mother and author of the memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Jessica shares her family's deeply moving and complex journey through adoption and the heartbreaking experience of losing her middle child, Dalia, to a rare genetic disorder. We began by discussing Jessica's family's path to adoption, which was...
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Unraveling the Layers of Childhood Trauma with Ron Jenkins - Ep 176
Unraveling Adoption
"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather...
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Abortion and Adoption: Insights from Sociological Research with Gretchen Sisson - Ep 175
Unraveling Adoption
"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing...
info_outline"I had to be OK with the fact that they might not accept me for who I am." - Joe Toolan
Transcript
Read this episode's transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01HQC31S90118VY2NM91EADH9Q
Episode Summary
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption through the lens of LGBTQ+ adoptees. Joined by guest Joe Toolan, a transracial, queer adoptee from Guatemala, the episode explores the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals in the adoption process.
Joe shares his personal journey of growing up in a conservative white family in Maryland, navigating his identity as a queer, Latine, indigenous, transracial adoptee. He reflects on the struggles of coming out to his adoptive family and the impact it had on their relationship.
The episode highlights the importance of support and acceptance for LGBTQ+ adoptees, emphasizing the need for adoptive parents to create a safe and affirming environment for their children. Resources such as PFLAG, the Trevor Project, and GLSEN are recommended for allies and family members seeking to educate themselves and support LGBTQ+ individuals.
As Joe recounts his reunion with his birth family in Guatemala, the episode showcases the power of authenticity and self-acceptance in building meaningful connections. Despite initial concerns about acceptance, Joe's birth mother's unconditional love and support demonstrate the transformative impact of embracing one's true identity.
Listeners are encouraged to engage with the LGBTQ+ adoptee community, seek support from advocacy organizations, and participate in upcoming events like the town hall meeting addressing the safety and well-being of adopted children.
Through heartfelt storytelling and insightful conversations, Unraveling Adoption provides a compassionate and informative platform for exploring the intersection of adoption and LGBTQ+ identities, fostering understanding and empathy for all individuals touched by adoption.
Resources mentioned in this episode
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Contact Joe through Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/toolan_joe/
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Find help for LGBTQ+ people and their allies here:
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PFLAG: https://pflag.org/
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The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
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GLSEN: https://www.glsen.org/
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Guatemalan adoptees can find support through the organization Joe works with, Adoptees of Guatemalan Roots: https://www.guateroots.org/
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Attend the Town Hall meeting on Sunday, March 10, 2024, to discuss adoptee murders and what we can do to keep our community's adopted children safe. adopteemurders.eventbrite.com
Other Resources
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTubeSupport Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoptionCheck out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.comCreate your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
đź’ŚSign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
Timestamps:
00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
00:01:15 - Embracing LGBTQ+ Voices
00:01:37 - Early Childhood and Adoption Story
00:02:14 - Growing Up in a Conservative Community
00:03:35 - Coming Out as LGBTQ+
00:04:39 - Navigating Relationships After Coming Out
00:05:03 - Challenges of Coming Out Again in Reunion
00:05:42 - Support Systems and Role Models
00:06:57 - Finding Community in College
00:07:53 - Coming Out to Friends
00:08:14 - Struggles with Family Acceptance
00:09:00 - Navigating Authenticity and Acceptance
00:10:10 - Parental Acceptance and Support
00:11:18 - Curiosity About Birth Family
00:12:29 - Beginning the Search for Biological Family
00:13:55 - Receiving Information from Adoptee Groups
00:14:58 - Reunion Process Initiation
00:15:48 - Emotional Response to Reunion News
00:16:00 - Initial Contact with Birth Family
00:17:00 - Concerns About Reunion and Acceptance
00:18:27 - Authenticity in Reunion Process
00:19:00 - Emotional Reunion Moment
00:20:36 - Acceptance and Unconditional Love
00:21:23 - Connecting with LGBTQ+ Adoptee Communities
00:22:18 - Resources for LGBTQ+ Support
00:23:05 - Advice for Adoptive Parents
00:24:46 - Connecting with the Guest
00:25:26 - Invitation to Town Hall Meeting