Building Resilience: DBT Techniques for Overcoming Adoption-Related Challenges with Sharon Stein McNamara - Ep 184
Release Date: 02/17/2025
Unraveling Adoption
"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup....
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"I was one of these slight skeptics; I was like, well I've been breathing all my life, what can breathwork do for me?" -- Kellan Bacon Hear the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JKBNQJYFFZT18Z0XSMHHTH37 EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kellan Bacon, a gender-expansive, transracial adoptee from China, who was adopted as an infant in 1998 and now resides in Cardiff, Wales. Kellan has recently launched a professional practice called Kai Ming Holistics, where they utilize breathwork and other embodied...
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"I think she had a deep ambivalence about me, knowing me, having a relationship with me from the very beginning." -- Susan Kiyo Ito Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan Kiyo Ito, a writing professor and author of the memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere. Susan's book, a culmination of 30 years of work, explores her journey as a biracial adoptee—half Japanese and half white—who was adopted at three and a half months old by Japanese American parents. We delved into Susan's origin story, her...
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"The most healing thing for me now has been the support of other adoptees." -- Dave Sanchez-Brown Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJD8EF1R7VJ6J0V5GXRWXJY4 =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Dave Sanchez-Brown, an adoptee who has bravely navigated the complexities of adoption, mental health struggles, and addiction. Dave shared his adoption story, which took a significant turn after he read Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance. Inspired, he decided to take a DNA test, leading...
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"It's a deep rooted fear of every adoptive parent that the parent will get rejected." - Dr. Asra Ali Read the transcript of this episode here: =============== Join Unraveling Adoption's in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India whose adoption was facilitated by Mother Teresa. Dr. Asra shared her unique adoption story, highlighting the positive experiences she had growing up in a loving...
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"I was able to kind of reinvent myself into who I probably would have been at some level had I not been adopted." -- Brad Ewell Read the transcript: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Brad Ewell, a late discovery adoptee (LDA) who learned about his adoption at the age of 48. Brad shared his shocking journey of self-discovery after taking an ancestry DNA test, which revealed a truth that had been hidden from him for nearly five decades. He discussed the confusion and betrayal he felt upon learning that everyone around him had known he was...
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"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG7AR0SN4Y6M7WW6E7WEK0AT EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kristal Parke, a talented filmmaker and adoptee, about her acclaimed documentary, Because She's Adopted. As we kick off 2025, we are excited to offer a replay of our conversation, which dives deep into the complexities of adoption and the personal journey Kristal undertook while...
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"We followed her lead. And so there was a lot of laughter and there was a lot of beauty." -- Jessica Fein Read the episode transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jessica Fein, an adoptive mother and author of the memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Jessica shares her family's deeply moving and complex journey through adoption and the heartbreaking experience of losing her middle child, Dalia, to a rare genetic disorder. We began by discussing Jessica's family's path to adoption, which was...
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"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather...
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"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing...
info_outline"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup.
We delved into the complexities of adoption and how they can lead to feelings of self-loathing and overwhelming distress, especially among adoptees. Sharon introduced us to Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapeutic approach that has been particularly effective for adopted adolescents and young adults. She explained how DBT incorporates mindfulness and distress tolerance skills, which are crucial for individuals who may feel their emotions are too intense to manage.
Throughout our conversation, Sharon emphasized the importance of recognizing and validating these feelings rather than dismissing them. She shared her own experiences with DBT and how it helped her and her clients navigate the challenges of attachment and self-worth. We discussed the significance of shifting core beliefs about oneself, especially for adoptees who may struggle with feelings of being unwanted or unworthy.
Sharon's insights provided hope and practical tools for families and individuals impacted by adoption. She encouraged listeners to never give up hope on adoptees, as the right support and understanding can lead to healing and growth.
I hope this episode resonates with anyone who has been touched by adoption or is seeking effective therapeutic tools to support themselves or their loved ones. Thank you for joining us, and please share this episode with anyone who might benefit from Sharon's expertise.
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RESOURCES:
Sharon’s information:
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Look up Sharon’s website: Sharonsteinmcnamara.com
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
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Here’s the book Sharon referenced: How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work : https://www.amazon.com/Break-Your-Addiction-Person-When/dp/0553382497
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
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TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
00:01:30 - Guest Introduction: Sharon Stein McNamara
00:02:00 - Sharon's Adoption Story
00:03:40 - Understanding DBT and Its Relevance
00:04:50 - The Importance of Distress Tolerance
00:06:30 - DBT vs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
00:08:30 - Grounding Techniques in DBT
00:10:00 - Building Trust with Clients
00:10:30 - Working with Adoptees in Therapy
00:11:00 - Self-Loathing and Adoptee Experiences
00:12:30 - Personal Story: Overcoming Breakup Trauma
00:15:00 - The Impact of Attachment on Relationships
00:17:00 - DBT Skills for Managing Cravings
00:19:00 - The Role of Core Beliefs in Healing
00:21:00 - Finding a DBT-Trained Therapist
00:23:00 - Outcomes of DBT for Adoptees
00:25:00 - Final Thoughts and Resources
00:26:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action