Codependency in the Adoption Constellation with Jonathan Newbern - Ep 143
Release Date: 04/29/2024
Unraveling Adoption
"We have only ourselves. And when I'm thinking about that, I'm thinking how strong we are. Because we have survived and still live and still create and still talk about our history." -- Kâlánguak Absalonsen 📘📘📘Join the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book Adoption and Suicidality by clicking here: 📘📘📘 Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kâlánguak Absalonsen, an adopted person from Greenland living in Denmark. Kâlánguak shared her unique perspective on adoption, colonization, and the...
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"The experience of being stuck is a pretty good place to be, I think, a lot of times in therapy and life." - Stephen Rowley 📘📘📘Join the Book Launch Team for our soon-to-be-published book Adoption and Suicidality by clicking here: 📘📘📘 Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stephen Rowley, a school administrator, college professor, and psychotherapist who shared his fascinating journey of adoption and destiny. Steve's memoir, The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny, delves into the complexities of adoption...
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Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, provide a detailed update on the latest happenings within the Unraveling Adoption community. As an adoptive mom to my son Joey, we are dedicated to delving into the complexities of adoption and providing support to those impacted by adoption. Book Launch Announcement: The main highlight of this episode is the impending launch of our first book in the Unraveling Adoption book series. Titled Adoption and Suicidality, this anthology features stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare...
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“Psychedelics can offer a portal to other consciousnesses and open spaces beyond our regular reality.” -- Mee Ok Icaro (adoptee) “Psychedelics can be a powerful tool for deep work and accessing feelings”. - Leslie Pate Mackinnon (birth mom) “Psychedelics can lead to transformative experiences, dividing life into before and after the journey.” -- Beth Syverson (adoptive parent) *********** All adoption constellation members (adoptees, birth/first parents, adoptive parents, and other allies) are invited to a Medicine Circle on July 7, 2024, led by Mee Ok Icaro and...
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"Being trans was not in my product description, and my 30-day money-back guarantee return policy has long since expired." -- Sanjay Pulver Read the transcript here: Episode Synopsis In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Sanjay Pulver, a transracial intercountry adoptee from India, who shared his unique journey as a trans man raised by white parents in San Diego, California. Sanjay's story sheds light on the complexities of being an adoptee and navigating the intersections of adoption, gender identity, and cultural heritage. Sanjay shared his origin story,...
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"I think it's really important at this moment for us in our society to understand that we collectively and continuously, in every little micro level ways and macro level ways, differentially value mothers in America, and we are still making decisions that are rooted in really bigoted assumptions, that are rooted in racism." -- Rebecca Wellington Read the transcript: Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson welcomes guest Rebecca Wellington, an adoptee, mom, and historian, to discuss the complexities of motherhood in the context of adoption....
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"I'm just enjoying the journey. What happens when the journey is over? Then what? So I'm just chasing the buzz." - Ryan Anderson Read the transcript; or read along while listening, if you have trouble udnerstanding Ryan's lovely Scottish accent: Podcast Episode Synopsis: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ryan Anderson, a foundling and transnational, transracial, and late discovery adoptee. Ryan shared his incredible journey of being found on the streets of...
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"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of interviewing Kristal Parke, an adoptee and filmmaker behind the acclaimed documentary Because She's Adopted. Kristal shared her journey of self-discovery and identity exploration through the creation of her film, which delves into her childhood, reunion with her birth mother, struggle with addiction, and intentional reconnection with her Indigenous...
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“I didn't want to lose them. I loved them both and I thought, it's hard to think about your life separated. I guess now knowing all that I know about being separated from the first person that I was supposed to be with, you know, I just never wanted to be separated from either one of them.” -- Jane Spreckley Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Jane Spreckley, an adoptee whose adoptive parents divorced when she was 14 years old. Jane shares her experience of how the divorce activated her abandonment issues and impacted her...
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“I have a hard time believing in love, that love just really exists, that you can love somebody. Then I feel like I have a hard time loving men and stuff, so I wouldn't want them to get hurt if they ever felt like I didn't love them.” - Tammy Murphy Episode Summary: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Tammy Murphy, a Black, same-race, domestic adoptee living in Indiana. Tammy shared her struggles with social anxiety and dissociation, stemming from her adoption experience. She recounted how her adoptive mother's inconsistent responses to her...
info_outline"...when you're walking around with a sense of loss, or you feel like your first mother or first family don't want you, there's two ways you go about this. Either A, you're going to get really enmeshed and get real clingy because you don't want to lose. Or B, you get this detachment, and as adoptees and groups sometimes say, ‘I'm going to leave you before you leave me.’" -- Jonathan Newbern
Podcast Episode Synopsis:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of hosting Jonathan Newbern, a same-race domestic adoptee deeply involved with Codependents Anonymous (CODA). Jonathan shared his poignant adoption journey, marked by a late discovery of his adoption status and a tumultuous childhood. He bravely delved into the connection between relinquishment trauma, adoption trauma, reunion trauma, and codependency, shedding light on the complexities adoptees often face.
Jonathan's personal experiences and insights into codependency from an adoptee's perspective provided valuable tools and practical advice for those struggling with similar issues. He emphasized the importance of seeking help, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care practices to navigate the challenges of codependency.
Throughout the episode, Jonathan's vulnerability and resilience shone through as he shared his journey of healing and growth. His message of empowerment and self-worth resonated deeply, reminding listeners that they are not alone in their struggles.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Jonathan’s information:
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Jonathan on Instragram: https://www.instagram.com/jonknee1/
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Jonathan on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jon.newbern
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Email Jonathan: [email protected]
Resources mentioned in this episode:
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Codependents Anonymous (CODA): https://coda.org/
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Adoption Mosaic: https://adoptionmosaic.com/
Other Resources:
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
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Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: www.UnravelingAdoption.com
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Timestamps
00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Codependency
00:05:30 - Jonathan's Adoption Story Unveiled
00:10:45 - Codependency and Attachment Styles
00:17:05 - Jonathan's Journey to Codependents Anonymous
00:20:39 - Recovery Tools and Self-Care Practices
00:22:06 - Embracing the Adoption Constellation
00:26:20 - Contact Information for Jonathan