Unpacking Adoption Trauma: Insights from an Adoptive Parent with Stacey Uhrig - Ep 164
Release Date: 09/23/2024
Unraveling Adoption
"So the piece that I most resonate with the Dialectical Behavior Therapy is it's one of the therapies that really understands this core feeling of feeling overwhelmed and like you don't want to be alive." - Sharon Stein McNamara EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sharon Stein McNamara, a licensed psychologist and adoption-competent therapist. Sharon, an adoptee herself, shared her personal journey and the profound impact of adoption on her life, particularly during her adolescent years when she faced suicidal thoughts after a breakup....
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"I was one of these slight skeptics; I was like, well I've been breathing all my life, what can breathwork do for me?" -- Kellan Bacon Hear the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JKBNQJYFFZT18Z0XSMHHTH37 EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kellan Bacon, a gender-expansive, transracial adoptee from China, who was adopted as an infant in 1998 and now resides in Cardiff, Wales. Kellan has recently launched a professional practice called Kai Ming Holistics, where they utilize breathwork and other embodied...
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"I think she had a deep ambivalence about me, knowing me, having a relationship with me from the very beginning." -- Susan Kiyo Ito Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Susan Kiyo Ito, a writing professor and author of the memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere. Susan's book, a culmination of 30 years of work, explores her journey as a biracial adoptee—half Japanese and half white—who was adopted at three and a half months old by Japanese American parents. We delved into Susan's origin story, her...
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"The most healing thing for me now has been the support of other adoptees." -- Dave Sanchez-Brown Read the transcript of this episode here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JJD8EF1R7VJ6J0V5GXRWXJY4 =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Dave Sanchez-Brown, an adoptee who has bravely navigated the complexities of adoption, mental health struggles, and addiction. Dave shared his adoption story, which took a significant turn after he read Dani Shapiro's memoir Inheritance. Inspired, he decided to take a DNA test, leading...
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"It's a deep rooted fear of every adoptive parent that the parent will get rejected." - Dr. Asra Ali Read the transcript of this episode here: =============== Join Unraveling Adoption's in-person Adoption Healing Quest in Seal Beach, CA on February 8, 2025. More info and registration here: =============== EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr. Asra Ali, an adoptee from India whose adoption was facilitated by Mother Teresa. Dr. Asra shared her unique adoption story, highlighting the positive experiences she had growing up in a loving...
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"I was able to kind of reinvent myself into who I probably would have been at some level had I not been adopted." -- Brad Ewell Read the transcript: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Brad Ewell, a late discovery adoptee (LDA) who learned about his adoption at the age of 48. Brad shared his shocking journey of self-discovery after taking an ancestry DNA test, which revealed a truth that had been hidden from him for nearly five decades. He discussed the confusion and betrayal he felt upon learning that everyone around him had known he was...
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"I truly felt the weight of the world telling the story. I felt like it was a great responsibility, but I had to do it." -- Kristal Parke Read the Transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JG7AR0SN4Y6M7WW6E7WEK0AT EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Kristal Parke, a talented filmmaker and adoptee, about her acclaimed documentary, Because She's Adopted. As we kick off 2025, we are excited to offer a replay of our conversation, which dives deep into the complexities of adoption and the personal journey Kristal undertook while...
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"We followed her lead. And so there was a lot of laughter and there was a lot of beauty." -- Jessica Fein Read the episode transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jessica Fein, an adoptive mother and author of the memoir Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes. Jessica shares her family's deeply moving and complex journey through adoption and the heartbreaking experience of losing her middle child, Dalia, to a rare genetic disorder. We began by discussing Jessica's family's path to adoption, which was...
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"I didn't realize how strong I was until, you know, I got into therapy and started to understand all the things that I've overcome." - Ron Jenkins Read the transcript of this episode here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Ron Jenkins, a remarkable individual whose journey through the complexities of foster care and adoption is both harrowing and inspiring. Ron's story begins with the tragic loss of his mother as a young child, leading him and his siblings into the foster care system. He was eventually adopted by a woman who, rather...
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"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson Read the transcript here: EPISODE SUMMARY: In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing...
info_outline“They [our kids] can't be more regulated than you are. They can only be as regulated as the least regulated person in the house.” - Stacey Uhrig
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stacey Uhrig, an adoptive parent and certified trauma recovery coach. Stacey shared her journey into adoption, which began after her own struggles with infertility. She emphasized the emotional complexities and challenges that come with adoption, particularly the trauma that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face.
Stacey discussed her experiences raising two boys adopted from Korea and the significant insights she gained about trauma, attachment, and the impact of early disruptions in a child's life. We explored the importance of understanding the emotional wounds that children may carry from their past experiences, even before they come into our homes.
Throughout our conversation, we highlighted the need for adoptive parents to do their own emotional work in order to better support their children. Stacey shared valuable resources, including her own ebook, What is Trauma Really?, and her podcast, Flip Your Mindset, both of which aim to educate and empower those affected by adoption.
We also touched on the misconceptions surrounding trauma and the importance of approaching parenting with empathy and an open mind. This episode serves as a reminder that understanding adoption trauma is crucial for creating a nurturing environment for our children. I hope this conversation resonates with adoptive parents and encourages them to seek knowledge and support in their parenting journey.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
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RESOURCES:
Stacey’s contact information:
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Look up Stacey’s website: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/
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Hear Stacey’s podcast: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/podcast
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Find Stacey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flipyourmindsetpodcast/
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Download Staceys’ FREE e-book What Is Trauma Really?: https://flip-your-mindset.ck.page/20d3e76a8d
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
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Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction by Sharon Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Core-Issues-Adoption-Permanency/dp/1785928236/
Other Resources:
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APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
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Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
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Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
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TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction
Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Cyberson and guest Stacey Uhrig.
00:01:00 - Stacey's Adoption Journey
Stacey shares her path to adoption through infertility and decision-making.
00:03:30 - Challenges in Adoption
Discussion on the challenges faced, including school difficulties and a brain injury.
00:06:00 - Understanding Adoption Trauma
Stacey reflects on the concept of the primal wound and its implications.
00:08:30 - Lack of Resources
The struggle to find support and resources for adoptive parents.
00:10:30 - Importance of Education
The need for better preparation for adoptive parents regarding challenges.
00:12:30 - Personal Growth
How learning about trauma provided Stacey with grace in her parenting.
00:15:00 - Impact of Early Experiences
Effects of early attachment disruptions on adopted children.
00:18:00 - Parental Responsibility
The role of adoptive parents in understanding and healing trauma.
00:21:00 - Coaching Approach
Stacey explains her coaching methods for adoptive parents.
00:24:00 - Nature of Trauma
Exploration of trauma's meaning and effects on children.
00:27:00 - Self-Reflection for Parents
Encouragement for parents to do their own emotional work.
00:30:00 - Work with Adoptees
Stacey discusses her methods for working with adoptees.
00:33:00 - Conclusion and Resources
Wrap-up and sharing of Stacey's website and podcast for further resources.