Illustrating Leadership Lesson: Reframing Feedback

In this solo episode of the Illustrating Leadership Podcast, I explore one of the most essential—and often most challenging—skills for leaders: feedback. Whether you’re offering it or receiving it, feedback can stir up discomfort, self-doubt, or defensiveness. But when it’s done well, it becomes one of the strongest tools we have for building trust, growth, and connection on our teams.

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Reframing Feedback as a Leadership Tool

Many leaders approach feedback as if it’s inherently negative or confrontational, but feedback is simply information. It’s not a judgment of your worth—it’s insight meant to help you and your team get better.

That mindset shift is powerful: tough feedback is an act of care. When you withhold feedback, you allow problems to fester and signal that mediocrity is acceptable. But when you offer thoughtful, specific feedback, you’re saying, I see you. I believe in you. And I want to help you succeed.

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Giving Feedback with Clarity and Care

Great feedback conversations balance clarity and empathy. Instead of vague critiques, focus on three parts:

• Situation: When and where it happened

• Behavior: What you observed, stated as facts (not opinions)

• Impact: How it affected the team, project, or environment

For example:

“In yesterday’s meeting (situation), I noticed you interrupted Sarah several times (behavior). It seemed to throw her off and made it harder for the rest of the team to follow (impact). Can we talk about what happened?”

End with an invitation to dialogue, not a judgment. Then listen with curiosity. Ask open questions like, “How did that land for you?” or “Is there anything I might not be seeing here?” This creates a safe, collaborative space for problem-solving.

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Receiving Feedback Without Losing Your Ground

Receiving feedback—especially unexpected or difficult feedback—can be even harder than giving it. It’s easy to interpret it as criticism or as a sign you’re failing. But feedback isn’t an attack. It’s just information, and it rarely means everything is going wrong.

When you’re on the receiving end, pause before reacting. Try asking yourself:

• What might be true here, even if it’s hard to hear?

• What is this person trying to help me see?

• What’s one thing I can take from this to improve?

Even if only 10% of the feedback is useful, that 10% can make you better.

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Distinguishing Feedback from Criticism

Criticism attacks; feedback supports growth. Learning to tell the difference can protect your confidence and help you respond more productively.

• Criticism: “You’re too disorganized. You always miss deadlines.”

• Feedback: “I’ve noticed the last few projects have run over schedule. What support would help you stay on track?”

If someone gives you criticism, you can still steer the conversation by asking clarifying questions like, “How is that affecting you?” This reframes the exchange and encourages them to offer actionable feedback instead of personal judgment.

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Building a Culture of Feedback

Ultimately, your role as a leader is to set the tone. When you give feedback from a place of care, receive it with curiosity, and normalize these conversations, you create a culture where people can improve without shame—and where trust runs deeper than politeness. 

The next time feedback feels uncomfortable, remember: it’s not a threat. It’s an opportunity to connect, grow, and lead better.

 

Your host, Jessica Wright, is a Life & Career Development Coach for Leaders and the Founder of Wright Life Coaching, LLC. You can connect with and follow her on LinkedIn.