Episode 27: What Are the Two Most Overlooked Keys to Recovery?
Release Date: 10/04/2024
Episode 36: How to Know If the Unfaithful Is Still Using the Betrayed
Ask the Unfaithful
How do you know if the unfaithful is using the betrayed for their own insecurities or affirmation, and what are the warning signs? Do unfaithful partners actually use their partners or spouses to feel good about themselves? Sadly, the answer is yes, sometimes we do. When we're unsafe and not committed to or working any specific plan or program, we're dangerous. As one clinician says, "we are human wrecking balls, using and destroying everyone in our path." The very instance of betrayal can leave the betrayed feeling they were never really loved and were just used to fuel the unfaithful's...
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ATU Shorts SE4: James' Journey: A Message of Hope
Ask the Unfaithful
I wrote a journal entry yesterday with no real intent and it turned out to be about my journey to where I am now. A journey I'm still on, to be sure! It isn't my chapter-by-chapter story but it highlights what the journey itself has been about - what it has taught me and how it continues to change me in ways i never expected when I started - or even part way through. I want to share it with you because I am hopeful that it can provide some hope to those of you just starting out or needing some motivation to keep going. It is a worthwhile path. With love and prayers for your healing,...
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Episode 35: 4 Reasons the Unfaithful Avoid Hard Conversations
Ask the Unfaithful
Why do we unfaithful seem so committed to avoiding hard conversations, especially those about our infidelity or addiction? Why does it feel to the betrayed, that we just can't seem to discuss anything emotionally difficult or anything that presents us in a negative, less than perfect light? The truth is, you betrayed are right, we do avoid hard conversations and are massively apprehensive to discuss our infidelity. But why do we do it? What's going on behind the scenes? This toxic avoidance of ours causes many problems for the betrayed parters, often times leaving them feeling undermined and...
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Episode 34: Finding Healing During Holidays & Anniversaries
Ask the Unfaithful
For the couple endeavoring to heal from infidelity or addiction, the holidays can be not only confusing, but disorienting and highly triggering. From reminders to intrusive thoughts, to confusion over what once was to questions about what was real or what was fake, it can be a gruesome time that couples learn to dread. However, with an expert driven plan and strategy, even couples new to the recovery process can gain ground and develop momentum during the holidays or painful anniversary dates. Instead of winging it, both spouses can utilize a strategy that provides a framework of compassion...
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Episode 33: 5 Signs of Emotional Immaturity in the Unfaithful
Ask the Unfaithful
Is your spouse or partner emotionally immature? What qualifies as emotional immaturity in the life of the unfaithful and isn't an affair a significant marker of emotional immaturity? Today we'll share and break down the understanding that emotional immaturity is the tendency to express – or even bury emotions without restraint. Emotional immaturity can also be excessive emotions for situations that can be severely out of control or needlessly amplified for the situation. This kind of emotional reactivity can destroy trust, respect and connection which undermines the...
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Episode 32: When Is It Time for a Therapeutic Separation?
Ask the Unfaithful
Have you ever gone through a 'therapeutic separation?' Looking back, do you think you needed one after discovery? Maybe you're contemplating one now for you and your spouse or partner? The reality is, a therapeutic separation doesn't have to be just a mere prelude to a divorce. If done right, it just may save your marriage, preserve your family and pave the way to healthier communication, redeemed intimacy and even restored trust. When it comes to separations, many are forced to just 'wing it' and do whatever they think will get the job done. The problem...
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ATU Shorts SE3: Terminal Uniqueness - The Value of Surrender
Ask the Unfaithful
Have you been feeling like your situation is not like anybody else's? Do you find yourself planning your own way of dealing with your behaviors and the effects of them on your partner? This video helps explain why that isn't the way - and why you need to surrender your ego to the process of healing and connecting to others and, in doing so, with yourself. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: [email protected] Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast:...
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Episode 31: Breaking the Reaction Cycle of the Unfaithful
Ask the Unfaithful
In healing from infidelity, the unfaithful can often times be hostile and reactive early on in the healing process. So much so, we can fall prey to what we've identified as 'The Reaction Cycle of the Unfaithful.' From guilt and shame to anger and resentment to defensiveness and rage, we can resort to these emotions and more as we push our partners and spouses away, further wounding and even sabotaging the entire process. It's at this point that the betrayed will think to themselves, "But, they were the ones that went outside the marriage.....why are they being so reactive? Shouldn't WE be the...
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ATU Shorts SE2: How to Feel & Deal with Your Feelings
Ask the Unfaithful
As an Unfaithful, do you struggle to identify what you're feeling i the moment? When you react, what are reacting out of? What is the feeling and how do you regulate your feelings in a healthy way so that you are able to be responsive not reactive? This short video gives you some quick tips as to how to notice, recognize and regulate your feelings in the moment as well as be able to dig deeper into the root cause of your reactions so that you can process, understand, regulate and keep your relationship growing toward health. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us:...
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Episode 30: 3 Warning Signs the Unfaithful Isn't Committed to the Betrayed
Ask the Unfaithful
It's one of the most common questions asked by a betrayed partner: "How do I know if my unfaithful is really committed to the relationship? What should I be looking for?" Today we answer those questions and more. Today's podcast is not only filled with crucial examples of warning signs in the life of the unfaithful but it's also a litmus test for any unfaithful looking for a playbook on how their recovery should look and sound to the betrayed and yes, even themselves. It further provides examples of what the unfaithful's recovery should never look like and if it does, what to do about it and...
info_outlineAnyone who has spent a significant amount of time in recovery work, whether unfaithful or betrayed, will tell you that recovery work is simply put, "not for the faint of heart." There's something unique about talking to someone who has 'been there' if you will and lived through either their own self-betrayal or the betrayal of their partner or spouse. While there are several keys to recovery work in the life of the unfaithful, there are two which stand out as the most overlooked and underappreciated.
These two keys unlock hearts of both the unfaithful and the betrayed and have the power to change the entire trajectory of any relationship if implemented. While those are big words and seemingly big promises, the fact is, should you the unfaithful endeavor to utilize and make these two keys a priority in your own recovery work, your life and your healing will take on new momentum and new hope.
There's a popular saying amongst those in the industry of healing marriages from infidelity and addiction and it goes like this: "it takes what it takes."
Today you'll hear not all of what it takes but two key points that when utilized are both life changing and essential parts of anyone's healthy recovery.
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Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com
Contact us: [email protected]
Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com
Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingp...
Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157
Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery