The Inappropriate Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring

This is the first installment of the audiobook version of my book The Inappropriate Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring. I’ll be releasing one chapter a week, right here in the podcast feed. If you'd rather read the whole thing now (because waiting is for people in line at the DMV), you can grab the full book on Kindle or paperback by clicking here. 

Full transcript below (Oh and hey! This is all copyrighted so don't steal my shit.)

 This is the "Inappropriate Guide to Buying an Engagement Ring- Irreverent Wisdom From an Industry Insider. Short, Simple, and Straight to the Point."

Introduction: I don't care what's under the hood of my car. I'm pretty sure there's an engine in there, but I'll be damned if I know what it's about.

And frankly, I don't care. I wanna go fast when I need to and slow when I don't. That's it. Good to go.

Some guys get off on knowing every detail about their engine. The compression ratios, the torque curves, the whole mechanical circle jerk. They're the same guys who can tell you the exact temperature their bourbon was aged at or why their guitars, pickups are superior to every other pickup ever manufactured.

But here's what 30 years in the trenches of the diamond business has taught me. Buying an engagement ring isn't about becoming an expert. It's about doing something incredible for someone you love.

Somewhere between the YouTube rabbit holes about ideal cut grades and the forums full of guys comparing certification numbers like fantasy football stats, we've lost the plot. You are not here because you woke up thinking, man, I really need to learn about crystalline structures today.

You're here because you found someone who makes your, he beat faster and you want to do this right? The problem is the diamond industry has turned what should be one of life's most romantic moments into something that. Feels like studying for a final exam you never signed up for. And that's why I wrote this book, not to turn you into some diamond grading savant, but to give you just enough knowledge to work with someone who actually knows their stuff.

Think of it as your cheat sheet for navigating this world while keeping your sanity intact. And yes, I'm mostly addressing the guys buying rings for their girlfriends in this book. But if you're buying for your boyfriend or you're a woman buying for your girlfriend, the advice works just the same. The diamond doesn't give a damn who's wearing it and neither do I.

What matters is what that ring symbolizes between two people who found something that's worth keeping. I've spent years watching guys walk into my store looking like they're about to face a firing squad.

Armed with printouts of diamond specs and enough anxiety to power laws Vegas for a week. There are shell-shocked veterans of a war they never needed to fight. . So here's what I'm going to do.

I'm gonna cut through the bullshit and tell you what actually matters. Not the marketing hype or technical jargon, but the real deal, the stuff that makes a difference when you're standing there ring in hand, heart pounding about to ask the biggest question of your life. We'll cover just enough technical stuff to keep you informed, but more importantly, we'll talk about finding someone you can trust to handle the heavy lifting. Because this isn't about becoming a diamond expert, as I've said, it's about making a moment unforgettable.

There are plenty of great professionals who live. For helping people like you create those perfect moments. Your job isn't to become one of us. It's to find one of us. You click with. So grab a beer, get comfortable, and let's cut through the noise together.

By the time we're done, you'll know exactly how to handle this whole ring thing without losing your mind, your savings or your romantic soul in the process. Now buckle up and let's do this.

If you'd like help finding a jeweler closer to home, email me at [e-mail] and I'll do my best to put you in touch with some of the best jewelers on earth.

Music credits: Preacher Man by Miles Neilson and The Rusted Hearts, used with permission. A killer band with original songs that get stuck in your head.  They're awesome.

Listen To Preacher Man on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/7ImcaJKIk0ZVtPzuUVV4vc?si=80581c74a9be4987