My Nightmare Coaching Job
A Thousand Tiny Steps
I was fired from my coaching job, dealt with an inappropriate dad, an emotionally unstable teenager, and people that shot me nasty looks. All while having an unsupportive administrative staff that didn’t have my back. This is the story of the ups and downs of my coaching job at Bow. Key Takeaways: [3:21] Being hired at Bow High School as a coach [5:55] The new athletic director hated me [9:42] Our first meeting he chastised me for talking about Molly too much [10:53] Transportation and me having the kids in my personal car became a problem [12:19] Where the...
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Re-Air: Ep. 113 - The Power of Friendship
A Thousand Tiny Steps
I looked back on the two friends I’ve lost since I recorded this episode and the ones I’ve kept. In this episode, I thought about the people I surrounded myself with, what that meant, and the wonderful support I receive. It’s interesting to look back and see the toxic people I spent time with and how much my life has changed since then. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Getting sucked into a cycle of mistreatment [4:15] Fight, flight, fawn, and freeze [7:02] Susan is someone who brings me so much joy [9:40] Roberta learns so much about me through my...
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Lions, Tigers, and Another Restraining Order… Oh My!
A Thousand Tiny Steps
I’ve lost count of how many restraining orders have been in my life from either me having to file them, helping others file them, or having them filed against me. At some point it just feels like a circus and an abuse of the system. In this episode, I break down the history of them in my life and question if they really help people. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Does a restraining order actually do anything? [1:57] My restraining order against Science Guy [4:16] Helping Amy get a restraining order and then filing for one against her [12:32] Losing my job and...
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Science Guy Died
A Thousand Tiny Steps
Science Guy was my high school biology teacher who I lost my virginity to. He died a couple of months ago and I only found out a few weeks ago. I’m grieving for him and many people have an opinion on that. But two things can be true: I can realize the good moments we had together and also realize it was inappropriate. Key Takeaways: [0:00] Being sexually abused as a child and being told to be quiet [4:20] Science guy died a few months ago, reeling in the good and bad [11:35] Feeling wanted by an older man and joining track to spend time with him [16:29]...
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Re-Air: Ep. 64 - My Childhood Sexual Abuse
A Thousand Tiny Steps
I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below. Key Takeaways: [2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot [4:20] First instance of sexual abuse [6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying...
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Re-Air: Ep. 55 - The Lows and Highs of my Sophomore Year
A Thousand Tiny Steps
My sophomore year was full of ups and downs. I went into the year not knowing where to sit at lunch, and unsure of myself. I ended up going to Germany, quitting gymnastics, joining the cheer team, and becoming a track star. As all these amazing things happened, I spent more time with my teacher, science guy, which quickly became something more. Key Takeaways: [8:30] Going to gymnastics camp again and feeling harassed [11:03] Gymnastics camp giving me a social life [12:36] My eventful first day of 10th grade as a cheerleader [13:58] Mr. Smith made such an impact on my life...
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The Mental Load of Motherhood
A Thousand Tiny Steps
As I Mother both my mom and my children at the same time, it made me contemplate what a mother is, all the things I take on, and how that impacts me. It made me think about growing up and how parenting is seen so differently these days. In this episode, I explore how my life has impacted my parenting. Key Takeaways: [0:39] The mental load that mothers have to take on and what it means to be one [4:03] Having to take care of my mom and still be a mom myself [5:56] How my childhood impacted what I think a good mom is [12:02] How the younger generations have...
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Re-Air: Ep. 18 - Trauma Bonds in Grief
A Thousand Tiny Steps
As a result of trauma, boundaries have been a lifelong struggle for me. From my friendship with Robin, my friendship with Steph, and my job loss at Bow boundary crossing has followed me. I explore these 3 events in my life and how trauma has affected them. In this episode, not only do I share my journey with trauma, but also what I have begun to learn about my behavior. Key Takeaways: [1:15] My struggle with setting boundaries as a result of trauma [8:58] My friendship with Robin [15:21] Getting legal support from the wrong person [17:59] How my friendship with...
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Slow Down, Barb!
A Thousand Tiny Steps
The universe keeps sending me the same message: slow down, Barb! Doing six different things at once and expecting something to change is not working. So we’re still here three years later contemplating self sabotage through old blog posts I’ve written. Key Takeaways: [1:35] Being indecisive, procrastinating, and a whole lot of anger [4:27] Tis the season for Spillin’ The Tea [6:54] Only seeing the bad in life and 3 years later still surrounded by chaos [11:04] Abuse makes it easy to not even notice when things are “off” [12:18] Blogs I wrote that have me...
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Re-Air: Ep. 67 - I Self Sabotage
A Thousand Tiny Steps
I really, really struggle with self sabotage in every aspect of my life. From relationships, to not following through on things, to recreating trauma. It is an endless battle. I am working to better myself by being introspective and examining why I constantly sabotage myself and what I can do to work on it. Key Takeaways: [1:35] Self sabotage and regret in my life [4:09] Physical and emotional stress can make us stronger [6:02] Self sabotaging in an effort to protect myself [9:48] Sabotaging myself to create familiarity and safety [11:05] Drinking to...
info_outlineThe universe keeps sending me the same message: slow down, Barb! Doing six different things at once and expecting something to change is not working. So we’re still here three years later contemplating self sabotage through old blog posts I’ve written.
Key Takeaways:
[1:35] Being indecisive, procrastinating, and a whole lot of anger
[4:27] Tis the season for Spillin’ The Tea
[6:54] Only seeing the bad in life and 3 years later still surrounded by chaos
[11:04] Abuse makes it easy to not even notice when things are “off”
[12:18] Blogs I wrote that have me reflecting
[13:34] The blog: Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones…
[14:53] The blog: Who Is Really in Control
[28:54] The message is the same again and again: slow down!
Resources:
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