How to Approach The Enneagram with Dr. Ev
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Episode Title: How To Appraoch The Enneagram? Introduction In this episode, we sit down with Ev, a coach and long-time student of the Enneagram who has spent years helping men uncover who they really are beneath the roles, habits, and masks they wear. The Enneagram isn’t about putting you in a box — it’s about showing you the box you’ve been living in and how to get out. Ev shares how the Enneagram has shaped his own journey, giving him language for the patterns that once ran on autopilot. This episode kicks off a conversation that many men in Authentic Men’s Group (AMG) will...
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How to Practice Self-Compassion with Enneagram Types 5-9
Authentic Men's Group podcast
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How to Practice Self-Compassion with Enneagram Types 1-4
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Using Self-Compassion With The Enneagram We often hear messages about what we need to fix or change. But what if the real invitation is to see and celebrate the unique way we’re wired? What if our greatest strength is learning how to show up with kindness to the exact story we’re living? The Enneagram isn’t about putting you in a box—it’s about helping you see the unique beauty of your wiring and how to live it out with grace. Ian Morgan Cron says, “The Enneagram doesn’t tell you who you are; it tells you who you think you have to be.” And in doing so, it also gently...
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Authentic Men's Group podcast
Why Beating Yourself Up Isn’t Making You Better Rewiring the Inner Critic For most of us men, we were raised on self-esteem, (either resourceful input, or non-resourceful input) Be confident. Stand tall. Don’t screw up. Win at all costs. That’s self-esteem culture. It’s about feeling good about yourself when you’re doing well — when you’re successful, strong, admired, competent, and on your game. But the second you fall short? That’s when self-esteem gets shaky. You feel like less of a man. This is where self-compassion comes in — and most of us weren’t taught this...
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Shame - The Silent Weight Most Men Carry
Authentic Men's Group podcast
7 Common Signs You’re Feeling Shame as a Man Most men don’t like to look in the mirror—not the one in the bathroom, but the one that shows us what’s going on inside. We’re raised with messages like: You can’t change the past. Just move on. Don’t dwell. And on the surface, that sounds like wisdom. But underneath, it keeps a lot of us from practicing self-reflection… because we’re not just afraid of guilt. We’re afraid of shame. See, guilt says, “I did something wrong.” Shame says, “There’s something wrong with me.” One leads to responsibility and growth. The other...
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Boundaries vs. Requests In Our Circles of Relationships
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Using Boundaries in Every Circle of Relationship Healthy relationships are built on respect, understanding, and trust. At the core of maintaining these elements are boundaries—clear lines we draw to protect our well-being. The Circle of Relationships model by Brian Frizzell offers a helpful visual to identify the depth and nature of our connections. When we combine this with a clear understanding of boundaries and requests, we gain powerful insight into how to handle different types of relationships with clarity and self-respect. Recap: Setting a boundary is knowing, checking, and...
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How To Say No (Boundaries vs. Requests)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
What the Heck is a Boundary? A boundary isn’t just a rule—it’s a way to identify, communicate, and maintain the environment you need to be the person you want to be. Boundaries aren’t about controlling other people. They’re about controlling your space and how you respond to what happens in it. 🏡 Fence Analogy: Think of a boundary like a fence around your house. You’ve got a walkway up to the front door—that’s how you do relationships with me. That’s the space I’ve clearly defined where I invite people into my life. Now, let’s say someone jumps my fence,...
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Cracking The Coping Code
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Cracking The Coping Code Do you wish you could quit your unhealthy coping mechanisms or bad habits? Many of us find ourselves trapped in cycles of behavior that don't serve us well. Whether it's substance abuse, avoidance, negative self-talk, excessive screen time, emotional eating, isolation, procrastination, overworking, or aggression, porn, these coping mechanisms are familiar yet unhelpful tools we often use to self-soothe. It's crucial to remember that resorting to these habits doesn't make us bad people; it's merely our way of attempting to regulate our distressing emotions. Think...
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The Vulnerability Myth (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Developing Emotional Autonomy in Relationships How do we navigate this vulnerability? By building emotional Autonomy. This means taking ownership of your emotions—understanding them, and managing them. It’s about knowing yourself and being responsible for your emotional state rather than numbing out or blaming others. Emotional Autonomy vs. Emotional Immaturity: Emotional Immaturity: “You made me feel this way.” / “I’m fine” (when it’s not true). Emotional Autonomy: “I feel this way. It’s okay to feel this. I’m going to own this emotion and use my resources to support...
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The Vulnerability Myth (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Emotional Autonomy is about owning your emotions and managing them in a way that strengthens your relationship with yourself without harming others in the process. It's learning to take responsibility for what you feel and working through those emotions in a healthy, constructive way that respects both your well-being and the well-being of those around you. Autonomy involves having the freedom and capacity to act according to one's own principles, values, and interests while taking responsibility for the consequences of those actions. In essence, autonomy is about self-determination,...
info_outlineEpisode Title: How To Appraoch The Enneagram?
Introduction
In this episode, we sit down with Ev, a coach and long-time student of the Enneagram who has spent years helping men uncover who they really are beneath the roles, habits, and masks they wear. The Enneagram isn’t about putting you in a box — it’s about showing you the box you’ve been living in and how to get out.
Ev shares how the Enneagram has shaped his own journey, giving him language for the patterns that once ran on autopilot. This episode kicks off a conversation that many men in Authentic Men’s Group (AMG) will resonate with: How do I Appraoch the Enneagram?
What Is the Enneagram?
The Enneagram is a powerful framework for self-understanding. It maps out nine core personality patterns, each driven by a unique motivation, fear, and desire.
Here’s what’s important for men to remember when diving into this tool:
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Avoid labeling others. The Enneagram is not a weapon or a way to diagnose. It’s an invitation to empathy — for yourself and others.
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You are not just one number. Think of your Enneagram DNA: your main type interacts with other types, creating a unique internal ecosystem.
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Your core type remains steady over time. While your behaviors may shift as you grow, your deeper motivations often stay consistent.
For men who are doing the work, the Enneagram helps you understand why you do what you do — not just what you do.
Levels of the Enneagram: Growth and Decline
Ev walks us through how each Enneagram type operates across levels of health — from your best, most grounded self to your most reactive and disconnected state.
Understanding these levels gives men a roadmap. You begin to notice when you’re slipping into old patterns or losing touch with your core values. Instead of judging yourself, you get curious: What’s driving this? What am I trying to protect?
This awareness is where transformation begins. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s presence.
Practical Application for Men
At AMG, we use the Enneagram as a mirror, not a mask.
Here’s how to start:
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Identify your top three types. Early on, don’t stress about “nailing it.” Start by exploring what resonates the most and why.
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Learn your type’s levels of health. Every type has a spectrum — from grounded to stressed. Learn to recognize your signals at each level.
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Observe, don’t obsess. The Enneagram is meant to increase awareness, not self-judgment. Notice patterns, name them, and bring them into group discussions.
- Invite others in. Be vulnerabkle and real with your awarenesses. Ask for feedback from your AMG group, coach, counselor, or a trusted partner or friend.
This is where the real growth happens — in conversation, reflection, and shared honesty among men doing the work together.
Closing Reflection
The Enneagram isn’t just a personality test — it’s a spiritual mirror. It helps men see not just who they are, but how they’re showing up. When we approach it with humility and curiosity, it becomes a roadmap to freedom rather than a fixed identity.
As Ev reminds us, “You don’t grow by changing who you are. You grow by becoming more aware of who you’ve always been.”