The Vulnerability Myth (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Developing Emotional Autonomy in Relationships How do we navigate this vulnerability? By building emotional Autonomy. This means taking ownership of your emotions—understanding them, and managing them. It’s about knowing yourself and being responsible for your emotional state rather than numbing out or blaming others. Emotional Autonomy vs. Emotional Immaturity: Emotional Immaturity: “You made me feel this way.” / “I’m fine” (when it’s not true). Emotional Autonomy: “I feel this way. It’s okay to feel this. I’m going to own this emotion and use my resources to support...
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The Vulnerability Myth (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Emotional Autonomy is about owning your emotions and managing them in a way that strengthens your relationship with yourself without harming others in the process. It's learning to take responsibility for what you feel and working through those emotions in a healthy, constructive way that respects both your well-being and the well-being of those around you. Autonomy involves having the freedom and capacity to act according to one's own principles, values, and interests while taking responsibility for the consequences of those actions. In essence, autonomy is about self-determination,...
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The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
The Vulnerability Myth (Part 1) Let’s face it— dating and relationships can be a minefield for men. On one side, we’re told to open up, be vulnerable, and share our emotions. But when we do, the response isn’t always what we expect. Sometimes, it’s met with anger, confusion, or even panic. Other times, it feels like the person across from us wants to jump in and fix our problems as if we can’t handle them ourselves. It’s a tricky balance. Here’s the truth: being emotionally aware and understanding how to regulate our feelings is critical for men. But vulnerability alone...
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Shadow Work & The Enneagram (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
What is “Shadow Work”? Shadow Work involves digging into the parts of ourselves we've hidden away because they seem too ugly, weird, or unacceptable. This survival tactic might help us through childhood, but it wreaks havoc on our adult lives, leading to inauthenticity. Shadow Work is about embracing your whole self – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and integrating these parts into your life. The Enneagram and Shadow Work The Enneagram is a powerful tool for understanding our personality and the shadow parts we hide. Each of the nine Enneagram types has qualities that...
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Shadow Work (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Shadow Work (Part 2) Today, we're diving into a topic that’s as crucial as it is uncomfortable: authenticity. Let me set the stage for this podcast. Picture this: a man finds his marriage on the brink of falling apart. He's convinced he's doing everything he "should" do to keep it together, yet he feels like he's constantly falling short. Growing up, he learned that showing certain emotions or traits of himself like being “too excited” or “too hyper” could jeopardize his relationships and get him in trouble with his parents – "boys don't cry," "toughen up," “Good...
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Introducing The Shadow
Authentic Men's Group podcast
The Shadow is all those parts of ourselves we’ve shoved into the dark because we were told they’re unacceptable. This is what we call repression – unconsciously hiding these aspects to fit in and feel loved. And no shame. This helped us survive as kids. But as adults, we take it a step further with suppression – consciously choosing to hide these parts, leading to inauthenticity. Resources we mentioned to start engaging in your own shadow work: Book: Podcast:
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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Chapter #7 Suicide The word “”committed” is usually used in the context of crimes. 2016 suicide was ranked the 10thcause of death in the US. Pg 116 men die from suicide 4x more then women. Pain is a natural reaction to death but suffering is what our mind does to us. 118 Death by suicide is not a selfish act or even a choice. It’s a sign of a mind that needs help. 114 The path to freedom from the suffering caused by our minds is through finding meaning. Pg 118 There are many paths to meaning, and if you search for them, you will eventually find them. 119 Give the...
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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
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Authentic Grief (Part 1)
Authentic Men's Group podcast
Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning. What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...
info_outlineDeveloping Emotional Autonomy in Relationships
How do we navigate this vulnerability? By building emotional Autonomy. This means taking ownership of your emotions—understanding them, and managing them. It’s about knowing yourself and being responsible for your emotional state rather than numbing out or blaming others.
Emotional Autonomy vs. Emotional Immaturity:
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Emotional Immaturity: “You made me feel this way.” / “I’m fine” (when it’s not true).
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Emotional Autonomy: “I feel this way. It’s okay to feel this. I’m going to own this emotion and use my resources to support myself. So I can show up as my best self in all my relationships.”
Steps to Emotional Autonomy :
- Be curious & Non-Judgmental while Identifying body sensations, emotions, and feelings.
- Communicate and explore these feelings with a trusted support system.
- Own your emotional well-being—stop blaming others for how you feel.
- Take proactive steps to work through distressing emotions.
What does it look like to practice emotional autonomy in each circle of relationships?
Circle #1 Relationship: Self
This is where we discover self. It is internal and eternal. It is the basis of creativity and resourcefulness. It is here we discover the purpose and passion of existence. It is where inspiration can be found. It is the spring of self-love, acceptance, value and authenticity.
Circle #2 Relationship: Intimate
This is where we express our deepest self in the deepest way. This is the relationship of closest vulnerability and authenticity. This intimacy will find expression in sexuality. (i.e. spouse, sexual partner)
Circle #3 Relationship: Select Few
This relationship involves individuals to whom there is the deepest bond and devotion. It is a relationship that experiences sincere vulnerability and validity without sexuality. It establishes earnest trust (i.e. close sibling, dearest friends...)
Circle #4 Relationship: Few
These are relationships we do life with. There is association at mutually connected events like reunions, weddings, funerals, interest groups, (i.e. friendships, family, extended family, associates)
Circle #5 Relationship: Mandatory
These are the relationships we do because we have to. They are the associations that revolve around our ‘to do’ list. There is usually a common purpose or goal for the association. (i.e. Work and necessary commitments)
Circle #6 Relationship: Peripheral
These are people we keep at arms length for one of two reasons: one, these people have hurt us before and would probably do it again given a chance or two, these people need something every time they make contact. These are (i.e. adversaries, acquaintances, codependent relationships, service clubs)
Circle #7 Relationship: Temporal
This is the stuff of life. In this circle are the things that 100 years from now will have no value to us and 10 years from now will not mean as much as they do today. These are the houses, the cars and the toys of life. They also encompass things that we can get comfort from that have the potential to form addictions (food, drugs, alcohol, pornography, …)