How to deal with the wounds of unforgiveness

You know so many people walk around with the issues of unforgiveness. I know you may say, but you don't understand how badly they hurt me. Guess what by us and I say us, because I've had to forgive what seemed to be unforgivable. It is possible to forgive, if you choose to forgive the perpetrator, you loosen their power over your life. When we choose to hold on to the unforgiveness, we're allowing them to keep victimizing us repeatedly. They affect our life choices, they affect our moods, and they affect how we view people in general who never hurt us. We become victimized to the wound all over again.

When I started reading the word of God, one of the first things the Lord started dealing with me about was forgiving myself. I had to forgive Tabatha, for decisions that were made out of anger, and, I had to forgive people for their part in hurting me. I forgave my stepdad of all the things he had done to me. I could only do it by the strength of my Heavenly Father. I remember getting a call letting me know that he had passed away. At the time I was living in Florida, I spoke with my sister to see if she would take that ride with me, because I knew that she had unforgiveness in her heart towards her father, and I wanted her to find forgiveness, but she declined. He was being cremated, so I knew I had to take this trip to face the man that inflicted my first wound, along with a few others.

I drove to Savannah, Ga , it seemed as though I was flying to save the life of a loved one, Lord knows I had this sense of urgency in my spirit. Once I arrived at the funeral home, the director inquired if I was the young lady from Florida, I responded yes, sir. He asked if I was driving over 100 miles an hour, because I arrived within 5 1/2 hours of speaking with him.  The point of this is that I was pressed to get there to face that wound. I had to look at what remained of the inflictor of pain, although he was deceased, I looked at him and said I forgive you, you no longer have a hold over my life. Immediately I felt what seemed to be bricks lift off my shoulders. I felt a powerful heartbeat, something that I can't explain. Then I walked away with my head held high.

On this same trip, I decided to face my ex-husband. I found him and, in all places, he could choose to live, it was my grandmothers' old house. Really!!!

The moment I arrived and faced him my heart was beating so fast, but I completed the mission. I looked him in his eyes and told him, I'm saved now and in order for me to be forgiven, I have to forgive you for what you did to me. I forgive you for saying that I was just mad because, I lost my baby, and you had another on the way. I forgive you for tying me up and raping me repeatedly, I forgive you for beating on me and I pray that you will one day turn your life around as I have. I then asked him to forgive me for anything that I may have done to hurt him. I told him I found out that I needed to forgive him so that I can be free. He stood there with a blank look in his eyes, it was as if he was a stone, he didn't say a word. I got back into my car and yes, another strong beat of my heart and the feeling of peace came upon me. It was a warm feeling and, I started to cry and give God praise.  I shouted Lord you said that if I forgive then I'll be forgiven. I trusted what I had read in the bible, and I acted upon it, then I began to apply biblical principles (scripture) to my life regarding unforgiveness. Those were just two examples of how I faced wounds of my past, there were still so many more. I had realized that with the damage to my heart, I still had to search the stone walls of my heart to find the other invisible wounds that kept me bound. Yes, I had to search them out, remember in episode three I said we have to get to the root?

Well, my  dears, roots as you know run very deep. That's the same with wounds of the heart, you don't know how deep it runs and what it's connected to until you dig it up.

The process of healing isn't microwavable, it's a process, the same way a contractor is building a house. The contractor has to excavate the land, he has to laydown the plumbing and then pour a foundation that is sturdy enough to hold the building he is constructing. When we are trying to get to a place called healed, we have to go back and dig up the foundation and find where the problem was. Once you find out that information then you can begin to make repairs. This is why you have to examine the stone wall of your heart and chisel away at it one piece at a time. 

This scripture I read touched my heart, and I knew that I had to address the unforgiveness in my heart for those that inflicted the pain I was carrying. It had affected my life for too long and I needed to be free from it. It took me some time to get to this place, but the process is well worth what I feel in my heart today. 

Matthew 6:14-15 says: 14. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

When I read this scripture, I knew that I had done somethings wrong to hurt others, because of the hurt that I experienced, the word of God just told me that if I forgive then I will be forgiven. I had to forgive. The forgiveness was for me to be set free. 

I pray you enjoyed this episode of open the wound, and as always just know that the wounds of your pass do not have to keep you in bondage and there is truly healing for your mind, body, spirit, and soul.