Open the Wound Bible Based Podcast

This podcast is designed to empower women and men, no matter the age, to obtain clarity and strength through the word of Christ. It is designed to help you grow spiritually and learn how to apply biblical principles to every aspect of your life as a Christian. To learn how to deal with bad relationships, addictions, domestic violence, feelings of worthlessness, feelings of unforgiveness, and how to stop becoming victimized over and over again by your past.

What belief systems do you have that may contribute to your mental health? 12/30/2023

What belief systems do you have that may contribute to your mental health? What are belief systems? They are beliefs about religion, world views, economical views, based off what has been experienced in life, while be raised as a child, and could be developed by harsh treatments well into adulthood. Some beliefs that I've heard are about races of people, it is stated that some groups of people are lazy and just want to be taken care of. While other groups of people work hard for what they want, and are entitled to wealth. Belief systems are taught, and are not necessarily positive ways of thinking. If your belief system is causing you to be confused about life and the world you live in, then those belief systems have given you a false sense of being, or reality. Some of my beliefs that was ingrained in my mind, is that if you cry its a sign of weakness. I had to be strong, not letting anyone know what you didn't have. In otherwords if you have financial difficulties, that is not to be broadcast. Don't ask for assistance, because it's embarrassing, Use what you got to get what you want was another thing that was told to me as a child. I knew some of these things were wrong, but how could I decipher the good from bad. I grew up trying to figure things out in the world. Another thing that was developed is fear of eating, or spending the night at other peoples houses. I was raised not to eat because people are evil, and not to sleep at others' home because they are not clean. So, as an adult I had all these belief systems that needed to be reconstructed with truth. I had developed a fear although noone was aware of this, but I started being careful where I sit in someone's home, if I went to use their restroom I had to look at the toilet to make sure it was clean, in restaurants I looked at the utensils, the glasses, the food itself to make sure there wasn't anything in it that did not belong, I had developed a form of OCD. I had a fear of being in crowds, because that's when conflict arises, so I didn't go to house parties or to many school events. So, now as an adult I have figured out that a lot of my OCD issues were developed by false beliefs. How do you demolish false belief systems? You have to seek answers by reading, researching and asking questions to family members about why were these beliefs passed on to you. I personally realized that the beliefs were passed on to me, because a cousin of mine, was poisoned, she went out to a club with friends, had drinks and someone slipped a mickey in her drink. She passed away. So of course the family members had issues with these things already, and it just built more mistrust in the world that we all live in. Our belief system was then validated, but it was validated using fear as a way to keep us from experiencing life. What are some of your belief systems that are giving you a false sense of exhistence, false sense of security, and causing you to have emotional and mental stressors in your life. Here are a few examples of belief systems that have been passed along to us through our home life and church life. Behavioral beliefs, how we should behave, should we express our true feelings, or supress our feelings, anger, outburst in order to get our way. Unconscious beliefs, maybe you think you are better than someone else because of your education or financial status in the world, Conscious beliefs you could be very arrogant and prideful, noone can correct you, rational beliefs they seem right, but maybe its not completely rational thinking. Religion is a major belief system that maybe you feel that your race is the chosen race and noone else is truly saved, or worthy of salvation. We have to renew our minds, changing our worldly views and breaking the negative belief systems that cause us heartache, confusion and pain. Romans 12:2 says Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and perfect. 2 Samuel 24:14 says David said to Gad, I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord for his mercy. But do not let me fall into human hands. We have to first identify the issues we have, then place them at the alter of God, allowing him to transform us into a new person by changing our old ways of thinking. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/29280738

Wounds from words spoken over our lives. 10/02/2023

Wounds from words spoken over our lives. I pray that today finds you in good spirits, I pray that you have overcome wounds that you never thought you could or would overcome and heal from. Today, we will talk about wounds from words spoken in your life. Many people have said that sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt us. That is not true. According to Proverbs 18:21 Amplified states: Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it and indulge it will eat its fruit and bear the consequences of their words. Colossians 3:8-9 states: But now you yourselves are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. 9. Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds, 10. and have put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to image of Him who created him When I was a child I remember my grand mother saying if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Once I got older I realized that the word nice is deceptive, although it starts out complimentary, it ends and deceptive. So I understand now that we should be kind with our words. Kindness is being truthful, but with tact as Jesus spoke he spoke truth even when he addressed his disciples and Mary Magdalene. However, in society today we have people just spreading hate speech all across this land, people are slandering others names, and then we have those that gossip about others personal lives and it causes alot of discord. Depending on how you use your words they can go out and set a tone to do you or the person those words were meant for, some very hard times. Do you ever ask yourself why Proverbs 18:21 states that the power of llife in death are in the tongue, its because once we received the Holy Spirit, then we have the same power in us to speak blessings or curses over our lives or the lives of others. How many of you have had someone close to you or even family members curse you telling you that you are no good, you're bummy, you are low class and will never amount to anything. Those words are harmful to a person's mental state. Especially, when it comes from someone you respected. That's why we need to be mindful of the things that we say out of our mouths, because once you said it, it's too late to turn back from it. The enemy used you to belitte someone and damage them to the point that they feel useless. Some words that have been said to some people have also caused them to commit suicide. Words to people can damage more sometimes than actions. I know that people will tell you to grow a pair, or they'll tell you that you need to get tougher skin and stop wearing your feelings on your sleeves. Here's the thing, if you don't like being talked to harshly, then don't you speak harshly, if you don't like being lied on then don't lie to others, if you don't like being gossiped about or slandered then don't you gossip or slander anyone. See we sit and become hypocrites about the very thing we don't want done to us and it causes havoc in our lives. I wish that we could all realize the hypocrisy of the society that we live in today. Its more or less that it's not offensive to you until it happens to you, or it's not your problem until it happens to you. I recall years ago being around some one that said they couldn't believe a paticular individual fell in to adultry because of the Leadership position, they compared themselves to that person saying I wouldn't fall into that, and of course, the Lord had to show them that the very words you said about someone else, is now your situation, and now your sitation is out publicly. Would you want people to show you mercy, because that's what the other person was wanting when they went through it. We have to stop pretending or feeling like we are untouchable. Stop spreading slander, stop using your words to hurt others and you have all rights to stop someone from speaking negatively about your life, your children, your job, your finances and your spiritual walk. If you are upset, frustrated, or anxious about something, be slow to speak and quick to listen, that's one of the best things you can do to keep from saying something you didn't mean to say. If you have ever spoken words over yourlife or anyone you can recant them in prayer. You just go into prayer asking the Lord to retract every negative statement and you name it out in prayer and allow uplifting, empowering, encouraging words to come from your lips, let them be blessings and not curses and end in Jesus Mighty name. Amen. We have to watch every word that we say even in joking, I'm not saying you can't have fun, but just be careful that you don't place word curses over yourself or anyone else, no matter how upset you are, remain silent as Jesus did with Pontius Pilate. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/28206452

Soul Ties Influencing Your Life and What are They? 09/16/2023

Soul Ties Influencing Your Life and What are They? Good day everyone! I pray that you all have been doing well and that the Lord has truly been dealing with you all in different areas of your lives. I pray that all is well with your spirits, your mental health, and your financial health as well. Today, I want to talk to you about the topic of Soul ties. I'm almost positive that at some point in your christian life or journey, you have heard the term Soul ties, and were told that they need to be broken from your life. If you have not heard it, let me give you some insight on the definition. A soul tie is an emotional and spiritual connection between two people. It can be formed through relationships and interactions with certain individuals such as family members, friends, co-workers, romantic partners and even pets. Soul ties can be long-lasting and effect you or impact your life in a negative way, which develops into strongholds. Some of these ties will leave us feeling depressed, anxious, suicidal, angry, financially distressed, emotionally unhealthy and could cause us to ultimately turn away from the Lord depending on the magnitude of the soul tie and its influences. Let me break this down from a biblical perspective. According to Genesis 2:24 It reads: Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 1 Corinthians 6:16 reads: Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, the two will become one flesh" 1 Corinthians 6:18 reads: Flee from sexual immoraility. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Galatians 5:1 reads: For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. From a biblical perspective the reason, we were to refrain from sexual relationships until marriage, is because once you have broken the seal of virginity, which is sacred to marriage vows, you have now become one flesh with the individual you have slept with. Now, lets go further, for everyone that you slept with, and the other person slept with, you have formed a soul tie with them, even if you have not slept with the other individuals. What happens is that the spirit transfers to each one, so if someone is dealing with the spirit of poverty, sucidal, depression, anxiety, low-self esteem, anger, jealousy, whoremongering, etc, then that spirit will spread within the groups of people that either of the two people initally slept with. In other words, if I slept with 5 different people, I have a soul tie with each one of them, and if each one of them are dealing with any of the listed things I previously mentioned, then that starts to manifest itself in my life and the life of anyone else I sleep with, then if they in turn sleep with others the cycle goes on and on and not only do I pass things from myself to others, but others past things to others and we're all in what you would call a bigamist relationship not knowing or understanding the spiritual effects it can and will have on our lives. How, because consummation (sexual intercourse) was the action making a marriage complete, if there was no consummation for a year then the marriage is not considered a marriage until intercourse takes place. In society today, we have gotten away from the morals and values from the bible and we considered them to be old fashioned, but the instructions are clear in the word of God. We have so many people dealing with traumas, wounds from past relationships and we're looking for ways to escape the pain, not realizing that its an accumulation of childhood trauma, combined with the soul ties we have in our lives. Let me dig deeper, say for instance you have a group of girlfriends that you hang out with on a consistent basis. The soul tie that you will make is your menses will sync up, each one will experience their time of the month a few days apart from each other, or a week a part from each other, also these same friends if one becomes pregnant, another will within a few weeks or months apart from each other. Also, the same group of friends can be married and if there is maritial problems within the group say arguing ensues with one couple, the next week it will be the next couple and so forth and so on. The sad thing is that they don't recognize the cycle and don't understand the spiritual connections behind it. A soul tie can also cause you to push others that recognize the difference in you away. You will begin to think that they are jealous of your relationship, or they don't know what they are talking about. Listen if someone is draining your mental ability to cope with life in a positive manner as you did before they came into your life, then this is when you need to do a self examination of the relationship. You may have entangled yourself with a negative soul tie. It doesn't mean that the person is a bad person, it just means that you need to break the soul tie of those that are connected to the individual you are dealing with and he/she needs to break the soul ties of the people from past relationships as well. That's why it's not good to jump from one relationship to another so quickly, because there is baggage that follows. The blessing is that soul ties can be broken, you will have to do some research, listing the people you have been involved with both intimately and friendships that you feel an emotional connection with. Focus on the things that you know of the individuals, what are they dealing with emotionally, spiritually etc, and then you start to pray casting out and denouncing the very issues to break that soul tie. If you don't know how to start the prayer here is an example: Father in the name of your son Jesus, I know I have soul ties with and you say the person name, Lord I ask that you sever the soul tie of unforgiveness, anxiety, depression, poverty, anger, jealousy, from my life, I ask Lord that you will set straight what was broken in me, that I may live a life filled with your peace, love, and joy. I ask now Lord that you will fill me with your holy spirit, and give me the strength not to get tangled up into another soul tie that is not through marriage, set a hedge of protection around me, and increase my spiritual discernment that I maybe able to recognize a soul tie before it takes root in me through different friendships, coworkers and or family members. Lord help me to be who you want me to be, lead me into all truth and show me your ways that my ways will line up with your word. I ask Lord that you will forgive me of my sins and make me whole again. I ask these things in your son Jesus Christ Name Amen! Now, once you have broken the soul ties, its best that you do not continue delving into different sexual relationships again, because it could be worse. I have had my on personal experiences with soul ties, and I can tell you, that it is not fun, its very painful, and it almost cost me my life. I pray that this episode of Open the Wound has helped you to discover if you have a soul tie. As always I thank you for listening and subscribing, please feel free to leave feedback, if you are in need of prayer don't hesitate to reach out. I pray that this has truly been healing, for your mind, body, spirit and soul. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/28050675

Are you dealing with stubbornness leading you the wrong way? How? and Why? 07/19/2023

Are you dealing with stubbornness leading you the wrong way? How? and Why? I believe all of us in times have dealt with someone who exhibits stubborn behaviors and we either ignore them or we address them with truth. We have probably gotten cursed out, because people don't want to deal with the truth of their behaviors. Well, the word of the Lord gives us correction, and sometimes we get upset when we read his word, so we begin to overlook different scriptures dealing with our own attitudes, or behaviors so to speak. I know you're asking yourself what does this have to do with stubbornness? My answer to that is a lot! Most of us do not handle correction well, we are set in our ways and for so long we haven't had any true friends that loved us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves. Proverbs 12:1 says: whoever loves disicpline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid. Proverbs 29:1 says: He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing. Stubbornness is defined as having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in-spite of good arguments or reasons to do so. Refusal to learn from experience, someone that is hard to convince, persuade or move. It's also a sign of insecurity and a way to hold onto a very fragile mental equillibrium. It is said that truly strong people know how to compromise when necessary. It is also said that Stubborn people are often fearful of change, which explains the rigidity that characterizes much of their behavior. People who have been wounded hold on to their points of view, because they feel vulnerable or they don't want to feel that they are weak, or that they aren't standing up for themselves. It's their protective mechanisms kicking in to form a barrier wall of protection. Their mindset is that, I'm not going to allow anyone to get the best of me again, and that they are protecting themselves from becoming a victim again. The stinking thinking forms. Once people have experienced mental, emotional and or physical abuse, they do view things differently. Those that have experienced mental and emotional abuse state that they could have dealt with the physical abuse better, Why? Because, it's just physical scars, and the mental and emotional is worse. They feel that it's harder because they deal with feelings of depression, suicidal thoughts, not knowing what to feel or even how to feel. I can relate, but at the same time I was a victim of all three the mental, emotional and physical abuse. I'm not saying that my case was worse, it depends on each individuals experience and how they dealt with their life while going through it. My physical scars you can't see them, my emotional and mental scars are their, but I have learned to deal with life from a spiritual point. If it wasn't for the word of the Lord I truly don't know where I'd be at this moment in my life. It was only the Lord that healed me from my stinking thinking. I felt that I needed to vindicate myself and retalliate against those that did harm to me, but reading the word showed me that I had to forgive others, so that I could be forgiven. So, I had to face my emotional, mental and physical abuse issues head on. I took a look in the mirror and I hated what I saw staring back at me. The pain from it all was depressing, and I truly wanted to end the pain, the sufferring, I really didn't think about what would happen to my son, I just wanted to be free from the pain. That was my stinking thinking, before my mindset changed. I thought that I needed to be strong, don't allow anyone to tell me anything, because they're not walking in my shoes, so I developed this strong willed attitude, because I didn't want to be a victim, or feel weak. I made myself not feel, I got angry when something caused me to shed a tear, I was so jacked up mentally and emotionally and dealing with the physical scars that only my husband that I'm married to now, and I can see. I felt worthless at some points in my life. I was determined to not allow anyone to get the best of me again. That type of thinking was the birth of me becoming stubborn or hard headed. I had to decide not to allow the pain to cause me to complain or spiral downward into that depressed state of mind, the enemy of our souls will bring past situations up in order to paralyze us from reaching the destiny that the Lord has for us. I was searching for peace, and I didn't want to be robbed of a future designed by the Lord. So, Yes! I thought my stubbornness was actually helping me and keeping me from being abused. The Lord wants us to be set free from those burdens, those things that so easily besets us. Although we all have had some form of trials, struggles in life, I personally feel that once we get on the other side of the pain, we can begin to see clearer and learn the lesson from it. Now, I look back and I know the difference of being in a healthy relationship compared to a toxic one. I had to make up my mind to not be a victim over and over again. I had to dig deep down and find strength and courage to get out of situations that weren't healthy for my son and I. I started looking at my life differently to see what I could change about me. I realized that by me being head strong or just plain stubborn caused me to make bad decisions. That was all on me and I had to face it, I grabbed that bull by the horns and faced it. It's hard sometimes to admit to ourselves that we were the cause of some of our pain, but I had to face that if I truly wanted to be delivered and healed. I truly wanted peace to be in my life, and wanted to be out of the personal hell that I placed myself in. When you view yourself with the scales removed from your eyes, you will begin to see things clearer, than ever before. That happened due to me reading the word of the Lord and searching scriptures for the issues that I had been dealing with, throughout my life. I needed to be healed from it all. I had to ask the Lord to guide me and to give me peace. Only the Lord knows, why, I asked that question, because it seemed that everything that could arise to cause me discomfort appeared knocking at my door. I didn't realize that in order to develop or attain peace, that discomfort had to come about in my life, to teach me how to handle things differently, then how I handled things before. I really didn't know the extent of my wounds and the damage they caused me emotionally and mentally. I was so bogged down with flaws and emotional baggage that I truly wanted to give up, I saw no way of escaping, but God intervened in my life one night. I was at a shopping center heading to my car after grocery shopping. This man appeared out of no where and said to me John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Once I read that scripture, I took that as God sending me a message to trust him and get my life together. It seemed the more I prayed the more was revealed to me about my way of thinking. Yes, Still dealing with head strong, stubborn Tabatha. I remember running into a Lady, I knew she was God sent, she told me that the Lord will not place burdens on us, and that he is our burden bearer. She was in my life for a season and disappeared, she helped me to understand somethings about forgiving and she really hammered it in, she said because God will then forgive me. The forgiveness wasn't for the other person, it was for me, and, I needed to get passed things in life. I truly thank God for those devine interventions as they showed me to always put my trust in him and he will see me through it. The Lord did allow me to go through trials to break that strong willed spirit, being head strong or let me just be real and say that jezebel spirit or withcraft spirit, because I wanted to be in control. In order to be free, you have to face what's looking back at you in the mirror. Everything isn't lovely, I was a wreck. Where I thought strength and being head strong was good, it really was doing me damage not only naturally, but spiritually as well. We have to be honest with ourselves, our friends and family, because if we all go around living in a fantasy world, noone is living in reality. We're all living a lie, with blinders on. Friends that I look to have are those that are not afraid to tell me what I need to hear compared to what I want to hear. They will not pull back any punches and tell me when my stinking thinking is rising up. If my friends see me doing something contrary to what I confess as a christian they should reprove me. That's what's needed, but not to many really want you to correct them on their behaviors, so how are we learning to be better versions of ourselves created by God, if we choose not to say anything or accept correction. Do you know that some of your friends right now know that if they try to correct you, they know you will get salty with them. Guess what? They leave you right there and talk about you later, because they know you won't accept what they are trying to help you with. We need to be those types of friends that would be kind enough to show the love and tell us what we need, in order to save our lives and to do better. Proverbs 27:5-6 says: Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Some of your so called friends are actually your enemies, especially if they agree with your negative behaviors. I had to evaluate different relationships and start eliminating those that meant me no good. I didn't want or need a cheerleading squad to cheer my negative behaviors. I need a cheerleading squad of telling me truth, that would set me free from satan's grip. I need people that will ruffle my feathers, tell me the truth in love and help me to get to a place of freedom in Christ, so that I could be used for the Lord. Stubborn behaviors causes us to pick and choose who we will associate with and won't. If we know someone is going to tell us about ourselves we tend to stay away from them, but the ones that cheer our negative behaviors on, that's who we cling to. Ask yourself this: Do you really want to be healed and set free? Are you willing to face what's looking back at you in the mirror? Are you willing to ask your friends to honestly tell you what they think of you? Are you willing to accept their responses? /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/27503235

Refrain from the Norm 06/08/2023

Refrain from the Norm STOP don't fall for the normal tricks, you know the one that got you hurt the last time, and the time before. You know the pattern that you always tend to fall for, either in intimate relationships or in friendships. What is wrong with you? Why do you keep setting yourself up for failure, and then fall into a depressed state? Do you have " use me" written across your forehead, or, are you putting too much expectations on relationships, or in people who do not care about the relationship as much as you? Why do we automatically feel that just because you associate with someone that you are best friends or that it would be a two-sided relationship? In relationships, you must have common interests, and you should get to know each other on different levels. Get to know a persons character, the morals and values, their pet peaves or likes and dislikes. When we speak or elaborate on the norm, What are we truly asking? Are we inquiring about the norms of society? or the norm for different genders? or the norm for different ethnic groups and races of people? or the norm for those that are christian or athiest? I think that the norm is basically what each individual or group considers to be normal based on experiences. For example: An abusive home life compared to a nurturing homelife. If someone has grown up in an abusive home, would it be fair to assume, that they think it is normal? Especially if they only witnessed abuse throughout their life. Would someone that was raised in a nurturing home understand the problems of someone that was raised in an abusive home? How would they respond to visiting someone in an abusive environment? Would they have more understanding of the behaviors of the abuse victim? Would they sympathize with the individual? Would they think that it is just a victims mentality they are protraying, are they seeking attention from others if they share their life history, or have they overcome these obstacles in life and share their testimony to help others, or express who they are and what they've overcome in life as a way of strengthening themselves? For me I share my testimony, because I am amazed how the Lord brought me through and I still have peace, joy, happiness. You know the unspeakable joy the bible speaks about. I have that type of joy now in my life. I am ever so thankful to the Lord, he is the one who gets the Glory when we share what he brought us through, and it helps others who think they are alone to know that their is someone else in the world that experienced what they have and survived. My life as a teenager and into adulthood was surrounded by abuse for many years, things that I witnessed as a child with different female relatives and even while in school. It had my thought process thinking that abuse was normal, being hit by a man, keeping you in line. But, then as I got older and started dating I found that it was not normal, but constant occurrence. I personally experienced domestic violence in different relationships and each time I thought I was getting out, I ended right back in a new abusive relationship, if it wasn't sexual assault, it was financial, verbal or physical abuse. It truly became my normal for a few years, until the last straw. That's what I thought! Relationships would start out beautiful, but after a few months it would go down like a fiery flame. I don't know what changed, was it me, was I naive? Did I miss something? Did I cause the problem or did they have a problem? Why didn't I see the evidence, or did I just dismiss the evidence? Those were the questions I started asking myself after decades of turmoil. I know those maybe the same questions you might have asked yourself as well. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in the beauty of the relationship that we miss those signs when he/she would get verbally aggressive and chalk it up to them having a bad day at work or something. Other times we dismiss the aggressive grab or push and they realize it, so they immediately apologize, so again you dismiss this behavior as a bad day or bad mood. It was evident already where this would end up, but you stayed in it, because it felt good to be loved. I know; and so we decide to give it a try after all, he/she couldn't be that bad of a person. Look at how many friends they have, and the fun we have together, the family life, and yes you feel security there, or is it a facade? As I got older I realized that a person can only pretend to be something they are not for about 30 to 60 days, you'll start to see evidence within 30 days, but chalk it off to something else. Guess what? You just fell into the pattern of the norm that you are accustomed to. Things you need to refrain from: Rushing a relationship, having intimate relations after a short period of time, sharing past relationship failures, and letting people know just how vulnerable you are. Once I realized that fighting, yelling, sexual abuse, financial abuse or control was not normal, I made a decision to get out of anything that would appear to be abusive in nature. I don't care if they were having a bad day or not, what ever is in a person will come out of them. So, my new outlook on life was to change what I considered to be normal, In 2009 I finally gave it all to the Lord, I cried out to him asking him to help me be a better version of myself, and don't allow anyone to come into my life that is not from him that would cause me harm. I did not want to be fooled anymore. I had positive self talk, I focused on helping myself get a grip on life, my christian walk, and what was important to me. I focused on raising my child as a single mother, and focused on my education. As my life changed, my relationship choices changed as well. I got away from my delusion of normal, and came into reality of true living. I found peace, joy, happiness, security, self confidence and finally a true love. In 2010 my life was changed with the meeting of my best friend, my husband, my confidant, my prayer partner, and everything in between. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 AMP: Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. 5. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked (nor overly sensitive and easily angered); it does not take into account a wrong endured. 6. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth (when right and truth prevail). 7. Love bears all things (regardless of what comes), believes all things (looking for the best in each one), hopes all things (remaining steadfast during difficult times), endures all things (without weakening). For those of you that have experienced abusive relationships and you just feel like giving up, I say to you, don't. I will say take your time to find out what your norm is and if it is abusive, then take the time to heal, build yourself up, don't allow someone else's bad behaviors to damage your outlook on life. It's not your fault, you can't change anyone, you can only change yourself, your belief system, your normal, your confidence, your heart. If you see red flags don't ignore them escape. The norm for me was very destructive, I sabotaged myself a few times, and now I look at life in this manner. I love everyone, I accept criticism in order to help me along my way in this christian walk, I look for positive in bad situations, my friends are few and to be honest they are just associates, they are people who know my name and some may know my back story, but they truly don't know the real me. They don't understand how I view friendships as a whole. If I say that I am your friend, then you should be able to correct me and vice versa, we should be able to do things together that each one likes and not just being about oneself, I show interest in my friends life and I am truly concerned about their well-being. Here's what I found in the past year or so, that some people don't understand the true meaning of friendship and they don't know how to accept the love that you may have to give. What do you do with that? You meet them where they are and don't put more into it than what they are willing to give. In other words just be cordial, don't share to much about who you are, because it could be taken way out of context and they perceive you in the wrong way. You have to evaluate each relationship that you have in life on different levels. You have to know who you can confide in, who you can joke with, who you can just be you with. Some relationships can not handle the real you. It doesn't mean that you have to end it, but be cautious, pick up on the signals they are giving, and go from there it will keep you from getting hurt in the long run. I have a few people in my life that I know I can count on to tell me the truth even when I'm upset, my husband Darryl Hopson, my mother in law Delores Hopson, my brothers in christ Harrison, Jackson, and my son Vernon Clay. We all need to have those people that no matter what our actions are they will pull our coat tail, if people can't tell you something to correct you, then how can you attempt to correct someone else's behaviors? Look in the mirror and see yourself. Refrain from the norm and try something different. Don't rush into relationships take your time to get to know people and if their is misperception you have all rights to ask for clarity, just be ready for the response you get and move on accordingly. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/27086352

What's residing in your heart? 05/11/2023

What's residing in your heart? Do you know what's in your heart, and where the root of your troubles come from? Do you wonder or ask yourself why you feel sadness? Why do you get angry about different situations more than others? Are you upset about how you handle situations? Do you question your thoughts or the opinions of others, because you feel uneasy or uncertain about life, and or the general direction your life is going? Are you trying to find yourself, because you feel lost? Have you experienced so much turmoil in life that you second guess everything you think and every thing that is spoken to you? Do you analyze every decision you've made for your life? These are signs of insecurity! Insecurities are basically you doubting yourself and having a form of anxiety. Insecurity can reside in your heart due to past criticisms. Criticisms are not always bad. You have creative criticism which comes from someone who has noticed your potential, such as a teacher, friend, relative or talent agent. They see the potential in you and they give you insight on some things that you may not have noticed about yourself, in order to improve, develop, or cultivate you into a better version of yourself. It will help you overcome obstacles that could hinder you in the course of your life. They actually have your best interest at heart. Then, you have criticism from negative influences that may tell you, you're overweight, you don't look good, you'll never amount to anything, you're stupid, you can't develop that podcast, you can't write that book, you can't become that lawyer, doctor, teacher, financial advisor, or business owner, you're worthless. These sorts of thoughts primarily come from childhood and some adulthood, as we grow we come across people, no matter whether they are friend, family or foe, that have been recruited by the enemy to discourage us from the plan that the Lord has for us. They belittle us, bully us, and make us feel useless and sometimes it is from someone we hold dear to our hearts or someone we admired. Guess what? You took what they said as the gospel, because you trusted them, and you replayed what they said to you, over and over again; until you believed what they said was truth. That's how the enemy does, he tells us lies about ourselves to keep us in turmoil of our soul. If you repeat something to yourself enough times, whether it's true or not you'll tend to believe it, whether good or bad. This is the point where the root has settled in your heart. It becomes your belief system. When something resides in your heart, it sits there as if planted like a tree and you have to remove it. NO you can't call a tree removal service, you can't get an escavator, you need Jesus to come in and transform your way of thinking, cleanse your heart and mind, and that is done by reading the word of the Lord. You transform your way of thinking, by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2 says: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will. How do you find out what resides in your heart? Listen to the words that come from your lips. Luke 6:45 says: A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. Basically, the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. So, if you're full of negativity, then negativity comes out. Stop the negative self talks and speak positive, even if you don't see it. Stop believing the lies that have been rooted in your thought process and tangled in your heart by the enemy. Change your belief system. He comes to kill, steal and destroy. But, through Christ Jesus you are more than a couqueror. The next time you get angry or frustrated jot down those things that come to your mind, whether good or bad, find out what's in your heart. If it's evil, then you pray asking the Lord to show you where, why, and how the root or thought came about? Then ask him to remove it from you. Be honest, transparent with him. The Lord already knows you, your thoughts, and where he wants you to be, what it's going to take to get you there, so don't be ashamed of your faults. Give them all to the Lord, he is the one who can and will deliver you, heal you and redeem you. Besides, he already knows what's in your heart. It is very liberating when you can confess your thoughts to the Lord, and then ask him to help you. I remember having a situation with my ex-husband. I was so angry, I asked the Lord did you see what he did to me? What are you going to do about it? Then, I said well, Lord, You said in your word that vengeance is yours, but I don't see you doing anything, and well I guess I'll just take care of this myself. Needless to say, I was crying even more than what I had already been, and nothing I tried to do came to past. I was extremely hurt, I was naive, my spouse and I had purchased a home, but my name was not on any documents, so when we went through our separation and divorce he put the house on the market while my son and I were still residing in it. He sold it, and the new owners came to let me know that I needed to be out within two weeks. I was embarrassed to say the least, and I was hurt to my core. How could I have been so naive, I thought I was in love, had a marriage that appeared to be going well, but it definitely wasn't the plan from the Lord. It was built on lies, I was deceived, but I also take accountability for my part. In my youth because of not having a father figure, seeking love in all the wrong places, I got hung up on the fairy tale of love and marriage. I was blindsided and the root of abandonment controlled my decision making, I really should have prayed about marriage and sought the Lord, but I was living in the world at the time, not living for the Lord. I realized I was never healed from the abandonment issues from childhood. I operated in anger and that was another root that had taken residence in my heart also from childhood. I was ridiculed, and told I would never amount to anything. My heart was filled with anger, vengeance, hurt, low-self esteen, insecurity, abandonment, negative self talk and no confidence. Those where the roots residing in my heart. Colossians 3:8 says: But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Pain will cause you to do and say things that we should not say. Words can not be taken back once said, especially words out of anger. Proverbs 10:19 says: When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. In otherwords, silence is the key, no matter if the other person was obnoxious, you restrain yourself. God sees all and knows all. Proverbs 18:21 says: Death and Life are in the power of the tongue; and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. We have to be careful of every word that we speak. Matthew 12:36 says: I tell you on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak. Hebrews 4:12 says: For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul, and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of heart. So, I ask you today. What is residing in your heart? Don't allow the lies from the enemy to set a root of bitterness in your heart. It will cause you to change your loving personality and you'll become unapproachable. It could cause damaging affects to relationships. Search your heart, be open to correction, and creative criticisms, you'll definitely grow spiritually mature. Allow the Lord to help you find those hidden imperfections that you are unaware of. I pray that you will be transparent before the Lord, tell him all of your troubles, thoughts, feelings about whatever struggles you maybe going through and leave them at his alter. Amen!! When you are able to face adversity with a smile and move on with life not being burdened down or worrying about people, their attitudes or what they think about you, that's freedom. The only one I want to be pleasing to is the Lord Jesus Christ and making him proud of my life and how it has changed by his word. The greatest commission is to love. People want to love those who love them, but the true test is to love your enemy. To love those who despitefully use you and persecute you, then we must also forgive them. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/26809056

Are you holding on to relationships due to fear of being alone? 04/18/2023

Are you holding on to relationships due to fear of being alone? Are you holding on to relationships, because you are afraid of being alone? Are you settling for the mistreatment, disrespect, abusive language because they tell you they love you? Are you holding on to that abuser who hits you because, you didn't get dinner cooked on time, or you didn't give them money to go shopping, or to buy drugs or alcohol. I have one question. Why? Do you devalue yourself that much, that you would tolerate the mistreatment just for someone who claims to love you, but is bringing you down spiritually, mentally, emotionally and financially? I'm not men bashing, because there are women that are out her that do the same things. I'm here to set you free. You are more than what you think and you deserve more than what you are getting. Do not crawl up in a ball and cry yourself to sleep over someone who has done you wrong and who has no desire of changing. If they hit you once, they will hit you again. I know first hand. Everything that I share with you is from first hand knowledge. It wasn't until I decided, I wanted something different, that changes began to be made. I had to make up in my mind that I wanted better. Sweethearts, you have to make up in your mind that you want more, you want better, you want to be treated well and not have fear of being alone for a period of time. You will need that time to heal from the abuse you sustained, if you don't you will just carry that baggage into another relationship and it will fail. There are no ifs, ands, or buts, about it. Sometimes we hold on to failing relationships, because we are afraid of starting over, or we're afraid of financial situations, emotional attachments, the intimacy of it all, but ask yourself this. Was it healthy for you? Are you able to laugh? Do you have joy? Are you happy in what you have right at this moment? or, Are you pretending to be all those things just to save face with your peers? You have to be able to face some hard truths when deciding on what is best for you, your health, your mental state. I would say to you chose wisely. There is nothing so sad then someone to spend over 20 plus years of there life with someone that they truly never knew or never truly loved, and what about the one who says after that time period I only married you for convenience. That is a hurtful thing to have happen. Think about what is best for you, I'm not telling anyone to leave their marriage, I'm talking to those of you who have been in relationships that are abusive and your life is in harms way. For those of you who are married, seek counseling, but by all means make the right decision for your situation, because everyone situation is different, and the resolution maybe different for each person's situation. Here's my prayer for you tonight: Dear Lord, I come to you today with lifted hands thanking you for being our Heavenly Father, our protector, redeemer, our prince of peace, the lily of the valley, the bright and morning star. I thank you for your son dying on the cross for our sins and transgressions. Lord right now I lift up the listeners of open the wound asking that you touch each and everyone of them under the sound of my voice. Touch them in the areas of weakness, despair, frustrations, those that are feeling unloved, defeated and they have no way of escape. Show them Lord that you are there with them, wrap your loving arms around them and comfort them, bring peace where there is confusion and restore what is broken, mend it back together better than before. Send men and women of God around them to encourage and strengthen them. I pray that hearts be healed, minds are restored and renewed and the peace of God will be upon you all in Jesus Mighty name I pray. Amen /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/26517114

Love past your pain 04/12/2023

Love past your pain I know it hurts, but you have to give it a chance. Don't allow the enemy to steal or rob you of what could be a gift from the Lord. You'll always wonder if you let it pass you by. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the opportunity to love, to have a real love, something that is so wonderful it makes you feel like that little giddy school girl or boy with their first crush. I'm talking about the love that the Lord speaks about, the unconditional love, agape love. In christianity it is the highest form of love, the love of God for man, and of man for God. Is it possible to have such a love in the natural since? Yes, you can have that unconditional love for your spouse, your children, and in friendships. That type of love, that unconditional love allows you to love people after they have done something to hurt you. Your're able to move past the hurt, forgive them and still show love. That is the type of love that only the holy spirit can give you. In the book of Hosea the Lord is expressing to us how we have gone after other gods and turned away from him, but he still shows us his love and receives us back. Hosea was directed by God to find a wife of harlotry, and he bore children with her, she also already had children from other men. What the Lord demonstrates is how his people turned from him to go after foreign gods, they forgot all the things they were given and how he set them free. No matter how much pain he felt he still loved them, but he allowed them to go through a few seasons of turmoil to get them to realize he never left them. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves from a situation so that people's eyes can be opened. So the Lord had to show them how it feels to be rejected by the one you show love to, and no matter what he still showed love. The Lord made so many sacrifices for us and even today we do not appreciate who he is in our lives. So many times we show and give out our love to people who do not deserve it, they step all over us, lie, cheat, verbally abuse, and some of us just lie down and take it humbly, but there are others that will fight back or seek revenge. I'm not talking about them, I'm talking about those of us who truly love past the pain, trying to be everything that the Lord has placed in us, but you just keep getting punched in the gut. I say to you, don't give up, I know the feeling, I know the tears you've cried, I know the heartache and disappointments, and its from people you least expected. Let me tell you, don't allow satan's schemes to rob you of your joy or who God has made you to be. Exemplify the love of Jesus Christ and you will not go wrong. People will mock you, judge you, and persecute you for the name of Jesus, but I stand for him and make no apologies for it. He has showed me how to love past all the pain I have endured, and still teaches me daily. The biggest thing you can ever achieve is to love someone who has done you wrong, or hurt you to your core. I can honestly say, I have overcome some very toxic situations, the word of the Lord says this: NIV 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Love past the pain you sustained, you forgive as the Lord showed us in Hosea, and allow the Lord to work out every situation, we have to continue doing the will of God, being who he created us to be. Hosea 14:9 AMP says Whoever is spiritually wise, let him understand these things; Whoever is spiritually discerning and understanding, let him know them. For the ways of the Lord are right and the righteous will walk in them. But transgressors will stumble and fall in them. I pray that you will give love a chance, don't put everyone in the same catergory, because you think someone is going to hurt you. Don't ever say what you want do, because you may just find yourself doing that very thing you swore you'd never do again. I gave love a chance once more, and it was the best decision of my life. I learned how to love past my pain. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/26516796

What residue from past hurts are influencing your thoughts or moods? 03/18/2023

What residue from past hurts are influencing your thoughts or moods? Do you still have insecurities about failed relationships, feelings of worthlessness, feeling neglected or unloved? Sometimes we feel that things are going good, and it takes one thing to send us in a downward spiral or emotional unrest. I believe that we go through different levels or phases in our spiritual growth to mature us and to help us gain wisdom and understanding on how we should examine ourselves daily. Just like we go every three months to six months to the doctor to maintain our physical health, we need to also conduct a mental, emotional, and spiritual check-up to see where we may need help. We may need a dose of encouragement to help us when we struggle with feelings of insecurities. We may need a shot of faith to help us in our feelings of trusting others or the lack of trust in different relationships, or a dose of truth, because we need an attitude adjustment. It's in times of trials or testing that help develop our spiritual growth and equips us to handle even greater challenges. James 1:2-4 Consider it a great joy my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. As we grow in our christian walk there will come times of uncertainty, just remember that it's to develop your faith in the Lord. During times of uncertainty we have to have to be open to learn the lesson being taught. You have to be able to examine the reasons of the trial or why this residue of hurt has raised it's ugly head. Is it to show you that there is still damage lingering inside of you; is it still more healing that needs to be cleared up in order for the Lord to use you to the capacity he wants? How can you minister from a place of brokenness? Are you teaching from a place of healed or from a place of anger, despair, pain and bitterness? What are the people receiving from you? The residue from past failures can cause you to affect people in a negative way. Every action that we take has an equal consequence. Think about a woman who has been abused all of her life, she never gets the help she needs to conquer her pain, and she just goes on as if nothing happened, until one day she experiences something that causes her to relive parts of the abuse, what happens is she had residue that never cleared, and it caused her to do harm to an innocent person. Did she have malice in her heart, No, it was a trigger. The damage however is done. The residue from past hurts can effect us well into our future, and it can keep us bound to the point of not reaching our maximum potential in Christ. It's very important to study the word of the Lord for yourself, communicate in prayer, tell the Lord about your troubles, and confess those deep down hurts or issues to him. He is a healer and deliverer. Don't allow the residue to place you in a box that you've already left, it's just the enemy's way of keeping you from your destiny in Christ Jesus. Whatever the reasoning for your trial or moments of uncertainty think about these steps: No matter how much we know and understand, be open to learn about God's ways and apply them. We must diligently search for Godly wisdom in all things Allow his word to penentrate our innermost being, in order to transform us. Live a life according to God's will to be in right standing with him We are to be witness's for Christ in the world without conforming to it If we profess christianity our attitudes and actions should imitate Christ in all our relationships. Demonstrate humility Meditate on the word of the Lord to discover God's will for your life If you can focus on those few things during the times of uncertainty it will help you gain clarity and heal those areas to remove the residue /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/26269050

Body image and shaming. 03/10/2023

Body image and shaming. Today, I want to briefly discuss with you the topic of body image and shaming. The reason for this topic today is due to a conversation that took place with a relative of mine a few days ago. Someone that they had deep feelings for in the past made contact with them, and one of the things that they asked, was, are you still fat? How dare you ask that question, was my thought. So I decided to dedicate this episode to anyone who may feel like they are being judged by their weight, the color of their skin, their hair, their eyes, shape, or whatever. Let me share this with you, I myself as a youth in middle school was teased about the shape of my head, the kids called me pie face, and banana head. Of course, it hurt my feelings, a little, and yes, it caused me to have a complex about the way my head was shaped, I would try to cover by styling my hair differently to not bring attention to the shape of my head. One day I realized that kids were just picking at me because of meanness, and sometimes kids pick at you because they like you, and don't know how to approach you in order to be friends, so they follow the crowd, and tease you, just so they can feel part of a group. Is this right NO!!! Definitely not. As I grew older, I realized that there are all shapes and sizes of people and not all people that are skinny like that they are skinny, not all fat people like the fact that they are fat, but they have health issues that cause them to retain fluid, and some have thyroid issues, and others have poor eating habits. Not all obese people over-eat, you have some that under eat and their bodies go into starvation mode, so it retains everything that is put in it. The body is like a machine, if you fuel it appropriately, it will run like it should, if you do not fuel it appropriately it will break down. Do you try to compare yourself to others? Do you scrutinize yourself because of what others opinions are of you? Have you been teased about your weight, the shape of your body, your hair, your eyes, or your skin complexion? Has this made you feel shame, do you have low self-esteem, or feel bad about yourself? If so why? The reason I asked why, is because noone's opinion of you should matter when it comes down to your body. Noone knows what health issues you may have that cause you to be over weight, under weight, or etc. It's noone's business. You have to have the self-confidence in yourself and be happy with what the Lord has given you. Psalm 139:13-14 states For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know full well! I'm here to tell you that no matter what you look like, or you feel you should look like, or what someone else thinks you should look like, you need to be the best version of who you are, no matter what size you are. I have finally come to a place in my life that I don't care what noone thinks about me, I am just Tabatha. My size, my head shape, nor the color of my skin should matter when it comes down to having compassion for others or being a child of the most high God. People have to stop passing judgement on others about superficial things, that does not have anything to do with kindness. So many people have gone other the knife to get what seems to them to be the perfect body. I'm not critizing anyone who chooses to do that, but there are so many of them that have lost their lives behind what someone else thinks about them. I struggle myself with my weight, but at 53 years of age, what does it matter. The struggle I have is due to health issues and not because of feelings of insecurity. I am happily married, my husband and I joke about my rolls and his rolls, we know it took time to get on and it will take time to get off. I don't focus on the 20 year old body I use to have, that will never happen, I just focus on being healthy so that I can see my grandchildren grow, and be all that I can be as a servant for kingdom of the Lord. I just want you all to know that you don't need to change because of what someone else has said about your physique, but if you choose to change let it be because you want to be healthy, not to gain someone's attentions or affections. If that all they are interested in, then how long do you believe that relationship will last. It's built on just the physical attraction. Look at yourself in the mirror and love yourself. You have to love and appreciate who you are and the attributes that you bring to any relationship. Remember that the Lord made you in his image according to Genesis 1:27 it states So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. So the take away from this episode is be thankful for who you are and what you look like. The Lord does not make any mistakes in what he does. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/26184570

How do you handle aggression's as a survivor of abuse? 02/27/2023

Disgusted with my life choices, how to move forward? 02/09/2023

Disgusted with my life choices, how to move forward? Have you ever made choices or decisions in haste, anger, while confused, or while intoxicated, and at the time you thought they were the right decisions, but found out it was in fact a mistake? Now your're trying to find your way forward, but the mistake has you bound to that choice you made. It could have been 30 years ago, 2 years ago, or it could be something as recent as last month. Now, your left with trying to find a way out, not knowing where to start or how to start. First off dealing with life is hard at times, especially as a christian. You are trying to navigate life utilizing your new relationship with Christ, but you still have some worldly views and you have to learn how to become selfless and not be selfish. If you only concern yourself with what you feel and not about others, then you are selfish. Jesus concerned himself with the world, and though he may not have sat with you physically, he died for you on the cross at Calvary and paid the ulitmate selfless act for your redemption. He gave his life as a ransom for you to be free. This christian walk requires selfless behavior, an attitude of servitude, and it requires forgiveness. You have to forgive yourself for all the mistakes you've made, any regrets you may have about decisions and choices, learn from those mishaps, don't allow them to affect or control who you are becoming through Christ Jesus. The enemy of our souls wants to keep us trapped in a box, bound to failures, pain, hurts and disappointments, he doesn't want you to experience the freedom you can have in Christ. He doesn't want you to move forward, but in fact wants to keep you down so that you will give up and continue living a life that is not fullfilling your full potential. Most struggles in life are designed to mature us spiritually on how to deal with people, jobs, friends, family, and your enemies. The key is learning the lesson while going through the struggles gaining wisdom while in it, gain strength from it and move forward. Instead of holding your head down hiding because you are disgusted with outcomes from choices you made, we have to recognize the teaching. Pray asking the Lord what am I supposed to learn in this lesson? What am I missing or what am I lacking? Ask for wisdom on how to move forward and what steps need to be taken in order to get clarity for your own life and the directions that you need to go to fullfill where the Lord is leading you? I know that while your in the middle of a struggle all you notice is the turmoil it's causing, the damage you are sustaining and you just want it to end. It's as if you've been boxed in and there's no way to escape. You're alone or it seems as though you're alone, but I can truly tell you, that as long as you have Christ, you'll never be alone, he is always with you. We have to learn how to surrender our whole life to the Lord. I mean every aspect of it. I remember just giving him one part of my life, and not wanting to give it all, because I thought I knew what was best for me. When I matured, I realized that I was missing out on what the Lord was preparing me for, it was his plan of redemption for my life, to give me hope, peace, love, joy, and the freedom from the bondage, that I was keeping myself in. I had to escape the box that kept me captive to bad choices and decisions. I'm free now more than ever and I refuse to be placed back into a box of captivity, designed to rob me of the blessings from my heavenly father. I refuse to become stagnant and not working for his kingdom, or doing his will, it's not about me, it's all about what he wants me to do, and I am a willing vessel. Freedom is so exhilerating, I have a peace that surpasses all understanding now and my life is able to go forward, because I chose to let go of the guilt, shame, disappointments, unforgiveness, and pain from past struggles, mistakes and bad decisions. My prayer for you is that you surrender your whole life, give it all to the Lord, Your hurt, pain, frustrations, your marriage, kids, jobs, friendships, enemies, your past failures, finances and your health. Allow the Lord to free you from your burdens. As always I thank you for listening to open the wound and pray that it's truly healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul. Don't forget to leave feedback on any episode you've listened to and hit that subscribe button. If you are in need of prayer please do not hesitate to send a request and I will go into prayer on your behalf. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/25877466

What do you truly want out of life? 01/12/2023

Do you really have peace after the storm? 12/08/2022

Do you really have peace after the storm? Is peace truly attainable? Having peace is something that everyone should strive to have. After the storms of life, peace should come right? The concept of peace is primarily, wholeness, total health, total welfare. It covers the person as a whole. The mind, spirit, body and soul of a person. When I was going through my struggles in life, I had no peace, no emotional peace, physical peace, no mental peace, my spiritual walk was all over the place. I was confused, and did not know which way was up. When I started reading the word of the Lord, it began to show me the peace that I was seeking. The peace I was seeking no man could give it to me, and no man could take it away, but it could be given away if I allowed it. I recall many times just sitting in my room crying asking the Lord to help me with my anger, help me with loving people that don't mean me any good, to help me see what it is that I maybe doing wrong to deserve this treatment? I asked the Lord to help me and to comfort me, to help me to feel better about myself and others, to help me to forgive so that I can be forgiven. I read the word of the Lord and John 16:33 says I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. Okay, Lord, but what does that have to do with what I am feeling? This is what was revealed to me. If I Tabatha stop looking to the world or for the world to give me the peace, love, joy, and comfort, and look to the Lord who says he will keep me in perfect peace, my life will get better and I will become content in any situation that arises. Isaiah 26:3 says You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. So, here I had to learn who to put my trust in, in order to have the peace in mind and emotional state. I asked the Lord to show me how to trust, how to have faith in him when I don't see him physically. Psalm 4:8 says In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. Hebrews 12:14 says Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. Romans 15:13 says May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. I had to start looking at things differently, not from a fleshly perspective, but from a spiritual perspective. My mind needed to be transformed, and it only could be done by the reading of the word of the Lord. I had to search the scriptures for the issues of my life to see what advice it had for me. Any problem you have, you can find it in the concordance of your bible. I didn't know that until I started searching for the peace of life that I so desired. You know that during the holiday season, it is the most troublesome for people with hurts, because they face family members and friends that may have been the cause of some pain, or ridicle and it was never addressed. Now back to my earlier questions: Is peace truly attainable? my answer to it is YES, if you want peace, you will have to do what it takes to get the peace you so desire. That may mean you face those that have harmed you, let them know that you have an issue with something they may have said or done, let them know that you want to reconcile the issue. That is if it is possible. I know for me, I had a situation where I couldn't talk to the person, because they were deceased, so I wrote a letter and then I burned it. There was another situation that someone brought to my attention, and that was if a person is hostile towards you and can't handle conflict, then in that case you go to the Lord in prayer asking him to help you with the forgiveness, I always tell people, before going to anyone dealing with offenses that you should always pray asking the Lord to bridle your tongue and to give you the words to say so that you will not offend or cause angry outbursts or a fight. We have to learn to use Godly wisdom in solving problems, or conflict resolutions. Just because you apologize for something, doesn't make you the villian, it just means that you are taking accountability for your part in the problem. Next thing was...having peace is something that everyone should strive for. The truth about that statement is that everyone doesn't strive to have peace no matter what they may say. If you have been around someone that has fault or issue with everyone, that person does not have any peace within themselves. They find fault with everyone no matter whether a person walks on water and parts the red sea, they will say it's a lie or find some other crazy thing wrong. I know we all have someone like that in our lives that we have run across or they could be a family member or friend. After the storms of life, peace should come right? If you are tired of being sick and tired and you truly want that peace that surpasses all understanding, you will have it. I know that once I started searching for the peace, it took me on a journey to healing, I had to face some issues and hard facts about Tabatha that I really didn't like. It showed me that I was my worst enemy and I needed to make changes in my thought processes, the way I viewed people, who I put my trust in and the life that I was living needed to be transformed. So once you bump your head and fall on you rump a few times, prayerfully you will find peace after the storms and struggles in life. You have to put your trust in the Lord. Hebrews 11:1 says Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. You're basically putting your trust and faith in our unseen Lord. That's where I found my peace, and that is where you will find yours. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/25272432

Dealing with guilt from past wounds 11/29/2022

Dealing with guilt from past wounds How many of you have experienced relationships that ended badly? How many times did your significant other blame everything on you, your faults, your mistakes, and made you feel like the lowest person on the totem pole? I mean truly made you feel like you were the scum of the earth. We make mistakes in relationships, we have flaws, and yes sometimes we can make people feel bad, none of us are perfect. The guilt that I'm referring to is, guilt that comes from wounds of failed relationships. Those wounds cause you to feel as though you failed to do what needed to be done to make the relationship successful. You begin to evalutate what you may have done wrong, especially if your significant other always told you that you caused them to be angry, and that's why they hit you, or that's why they called you out of your name. You tend to believe that things are your fault, and that you are a burden in life to others. This is a form of emotional abuse, it's used to control you and to destroy your self-esteem. I had a relationship years ago, and initially it started out very pleasant, I thought, I had someone in my life that was good for me, and, I thought they were from a God fearing loving family. Well, not so. I didn't think I was being controlled, nor did I feel as though I was being emotionally and physically abused, until I got out of the relationship. He would tell me not to walk to the store and they he wanted to take me where ever I needed to go, he would slap me if I was looking in the direction of men so I had to turn my head or look down while riding in the car. I couldn't converse with anyone of the opposite sex, not even if they spoke just saying hello. If I did it would be an argument or fight. Eventually as time went on I started realizing that he was the one that was stepping out and trying to make me feel that I was the problem. He began to put me down about my weight, and tried to get me to use drugs so I could lose the weight. I had always been small, until I got pregnant with my son, and once I had my baby, he wouldn't let me go anywhere unless he drove me, so I couldn't leave the house until he got back home. I was always active, I walked just about everywhere or rode the bus, so naturally I gained more weight due to being a prisoner basically. I began to feel guilty for not being who he wanted me to be, I was guilty for making him feel as though I was looking at other men, I felt guilty about being over weight. Its amazing how emotional abuse can cause feelings of guilt in your mind and you're the one that is the victim. The sad thing is that you don't know you're the victim. I really did not know I was a victim. Guilt can make you stay in situations longer than you should, and cause you to change your whole outlook on who you are or who you were. I didn't know who I was, I felt guilty and ashamed from perceived offenses that I never made. I began to think that I was the cause of all my problems and the problems of others. How did I even get to this point? My self-esteem was so low, I had no hope. But, one day a light bulb came on, I realized that I needed to get away from the abuse, the ridicule, the sadness and I got angry to the point I fought for my freedom as if I was an animal in captivity. The last straw for me was on July 4th of 1992, we were riding in the car and he started arguing with me, he hauled off and backhanded me right in the face, I proceeded to fight back as I always had done, but this time I decided to jump out of the moving car to escape from him, my two year old son was in the backseat of the car and he jumped out after me, I had to catch him. There was an older gentleman sitting on a porch who witnessed all of this and he came to assist me. He asked if I needed a police officer and I said no. You would think that after all of that I would at least call the police for help, but my mental state was so jacked up. I started feeling guilty thinking that it was my fault. I told the man that it was my fault. He just looked at me and said, no sweetheart, no man should ever put his hands on a woman no matter what, and that I didn't deserve to be treated in the manner to which he witnessed. He helped me get myself together and I called someone to come get me to take me to my family. That was the end of that relationship. It took me years to get to a place to feel comfortable looking at men or woman. I was still being emotionally controlled by someone that was no longer in my life, guilt and shame of what I had been through made me think that people could see my scars. I wouldn't go out, I was afraid to talk to people, I was nervous all the time looking over my shoulder as if I was going to be captured. Guilt made me feel like I was a loser, a failure, I was everything that I was told, I was nobody. How to deal with guilt from past wounds. First realized that as a human being we will make mistakes. Guilt is a part of our lives, because we all have done something or said something to someone and had remorseful feelings. You may feel guilt for lying about something, or guilt from breaking something and blaming your sibling for it, or maybe you cheated on an exam and you knew it was wrong. Guilt is a part of our moral code that helps us determine good and bad behaviour and helps us to not keep making the same mistakes over and over again. My guilt came from an irrational thought process that was derived from past wounds in relationships. I assumed that I was the problem, and I needed to be fixed. What does your guilt come from? Is it rational from perceived or imagined offenses? Are you feeling as though everything you do is a burden because of what someone has told you? Is your guilt coming from an emotional abused state that you are unaware of? Take a deep breath and focus on where the guilt is coming from. Ask yourself if you caused an offense? If you find that you did, then by all means apologize, we all make mistakes, but do not allow guilt to make you feel like you are the worst person in the world. We learn from mistakes, make amends for them and we move on in life. Don't beat yourself up constantly thinking about past mistakes, it can cause you to take a trip on guilt boulevard and you'll find yourself down in the dumps again over something that happened years ago. How I deal with guilt may not be how you or anyone else deals with guilt, so if you find a healthy way of dealing with guilt that gives you peace of mind, then do that. Just remember that mistakes happen, guilty feelings will happen, but don't allow someone to guilt you into doing something that you would not normally do, and don't allow people to manipulate you using guilt tactics to control you. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/25157295

The heart or the mind, what do you follow? 11/21/2022

The heart or the mind, what do you follow? In life what do you follow, your heart or your mind? When you make important decisions, what do you follow your heart or your mind? The reason for these questions is to point out a few things that I really didn't know until I read the bible. One thing that I learned is that, if we have wounds, past hurts, bitterness, anger, unresolved or repressed issues, we tend to make decisions based on our heart, disappointments, bitterness, and fear. Sometimes those decisions are the wrong decisions. Our heart has been broken and naturally we don't want to be hurt again, so we follow the emotions from the heart. The problem with that is this: Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? How do I know by following what my heart is telling me is right, is it from brokenness? It could very well be, and in that case I really need to evaluate what the enemy is trying to set me up with. You know the saying, that we are our on worst enemy. Yes, it is true, we listen to a heart that has been broken, and it makes us so fearful that a wall is built up, we push people away, or we miss opportunities and blessings. Ecclesiates 10:2 says this: A wise person's heart directs him toward the right, but the foolish person's heart directs him toward the left. We have to examine ourselves, our way of thinking to make sure it lines up with the word of God. Are you being wise in your decision making or are you being foolish in decision making? Be honest with yourself, that's the only way you will be able to grow. You will need to ask yourself these questions, get to the root of your thought process's, what is guiding you and why? If our decisions are made from a wounded heart then can we honestly say that those are sound decisions? Are they based on what's best for us, or is it based on fears from past wounds? I know for myself fear caused me to make some foolish decisions that eventually caused me more heartache than you could imagine. I had to start over, evaluate what was going on in my life and determine a course of action. Some outcomes were okay, but they could have been a lot better had I not been led by my hurt feelings or emotions that were truly all over the place. I should have sought advise from someone that I could trust and knew they would give me sound advise instead of telling me what I wanted to hear or telling me something to stroke my ego. You know, those friends that are afraid to tell you the truth about your messy situations, and will go along with anything that you do. I had to learn that a true friend is someone that loves you and wants what is best for you. They will tell you things to encourage you, they will tell you the truth about yourself, and they will not allow you to live in a fantasy world letting you believe that you are doing things the right way especially if you're not. I need advise from those that have overcome adversity and are on the healed side, not walking in bitterness and anger. When I read about our hearts being desperately wicked, and who can know it, that scripture showed me that my heart couldn't be trusted, and, I needed to seek the Lord in every aspect of life. I have always heard people say follow your heart, I have said it to others, but now I know our hearts can mislead us. We have to truly seek guidance in everything dealing with life. I have gotten to a place now, that I pray seeking guidance from the Lord, and I ask him to direct my thoughts, my footsteps, give me clear instruction so I may go the path that he has planned for me. I ask him to put the words in my mouth so that I may not say the wrong things. Spiritual maturity will cause you to seek the Lord and acknowledge him in all things pertaining to your life. This includes decisions about finances, jobs, marriage, children, conflicts, love interests, and your christian walk. The mind according to James 1:8 says that a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. What does this mean? It simply means that if you or someone you know goes back and forth about any given situation then they are double minded. An example of this is someone has decided that they are going to focus on school and not worry about finding a love interest, and the next day they phone you saying that they just don't want to give up on love, they are tired of being lonely, and they just want a good relationship. Then a week later there back at focusing on school or work. Check out the instability throughout their life and compare it to James 1:8. Psalm 19:14 says Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O, Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Simple, meditate on the word of the Lord, allow the word to transform your heart, and it will also transform your thinking, everything will align itself to the word of God. You just have to study what the word says, get it on the inside of you. Transformation will take place and you'll find yourself in a place called healed. Once I realized that my heart and mind needed to be renewed by the reading of God's word, I started making changes gradually. Romans 12:2 says Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. I made the decision to stop leaning unto my warped sense of thinking from wounds that had been leading me down a road of emotional destruction. Many times I made the wrong decisions, and they caused more turmoil, but now I seek the Lord, and I try not to be overtaken by emotional thoughts or fear. I try not to overthink, but I do try to weigh different options for the best outcomes. Ask yourself the next time you need to make an important decision, Am I following my heart or mind from a place of brokenness or a place of healed? Wounds of the heart affect every part of our lives, if left untreated. It affects our decision making skills, our thought process, emotional state and mental state. Seek the Lord and allow him to direct you in all areas of your life. In order to be the best version of you, allow the heart and mind to go through transformation by the word of God. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/25091466

Seeing yourself through God's eyes 11/13/2022

Seeing yourself through God's eyes Why is it so hard to believe that you are a jewel in the eye's of the Lord? Is it because, you don't feel worthy? The enemy of our souls will make us believe that we've done so much wrong that the Lord doesn't have the capacity to forgive us, and we begin to believe the lies. Lies that we're not worthy, we're not loveable, we're not forgiven, we're doomed to hell, we're doomed to fail, and we're not overcomers. We will never amount to anything, we should just give up, your not important to anyone, and nothing ever goes right, just give up. No, all of that is lies to keep you in bondage. Here's what the Lord thinks about us when we choose to follow him, and strive for perfection on a daily basis, when we repent of our sins and pick up our cross to carry it. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. You are so important to the Lord that he paid a ransom for your life before you were formed. Psalm 139: 1-6 says You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 2. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4. Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 5. You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6. Such knowlegde is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Psalm 139:13-17 says For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! The Lord knows you, he sees the potential in you before you were formed. He knows your thoughts before they come to your mind, He knows the words before you form them upon your tongue, He sees who you are before you can imagine it. He cultivates you through trials, struggles and yes even heartache. He wants to get the best out of you for the use of his kingdom. I remember being at a point in life that I was confused about where I was supposed to be. I didn't think highly of myself. One day I just prayed asking the Lord, who am I destined to be? Who am I Lord when you look at me? What is it that you, Lord see in me that I don't see in myself? I had so many doubts, my self-esteem was low. I didn't want to be useless, I began praying the Jabez prayer for the Lord to broaden my territory, to open doors of opportunity that he had for me, and to close doors that would hinder me in my walk with him. I asked him to show me the schemes of the enemy, and to show me the way of escape. When you realize that the Lord is guiding you; you begin to trust the unseen hand of God that gives you a push in the right direction, your spirit will agree to the pushing, and instead of going left you'll choose the right road. As a parent teaches their child about life they want what's best for them, and they don't want to see any harm come to them. The same with the Lord. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God sees us as precious and honored according to Isaiah 43:4 The Lord sees each of us through eyes of unconditional love, and it doesn't depend on looks, wealth, race, or educational background. He sees our heart. Ist Samuel 16:7 says But the Lord said to Samuel, " Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. What is it that you see of yourself in the mirror? Are you able to look at yourself in the mirror, and do you like what you see? I ask this, because; when I was so wounded, self-esteem so low, confused about my life, I couldn't look at me, in the mirror. Of course I'd style my hair, put on makeup, but I never looked at me. I felt disappointed, because of who I turned into. A person with emotional scars, lacking confidence, I felt damaged beyond repair, I felt ugly and unworthy of what the word of God said. Wounds can keep you emotionally imprisoned, you walk with your head down avoiding eye contact for fear that someone would see how damaged you truly were. You are ashamed and disconnect from others, you don't want anyone to see you at your weakest point. It's as though you feel that you are a failure, but that's just another lie from the enemy. Just because you make mistakes doesn't deem you as a failure, it means that you have another chance to get it right. If you'd look at mistakes as a lesson and not a judgement of impending doom, it will help develop you in spiritual maturity, there is growth from it. I'm here to tell you that what you believe resonates to your inner being and directs the course of your life. You have to reject the negative thoughts of past wounds; and build a wall against wounds that try to penetrate your new mindset. Once you start thinking positive the enemy will always try to bring up negative thoughts to keep you bound to the past. Your positive thinking and standing on God's word will help you stand against any negativity that comes your way. You will believe the truth of God's word instead of the lies of the enemy. You will reject negative thinking and stand on the truth through the word of the Lord. Once you see yourself the way the Lord sees you, your wounds will heal, you'll become victorious over low self-esteem, negative thinking, and you'll be able to hold your head high, walk in confidence and be able to look at yourself in the mirror. Keep praying, ask the Lord how he sees you? Ask him to show you yourself? When I asked those questions he showed me things I needed to change about myself and he showed me how to walk in love, kindness, joy, peace, forgiveness, patience, and confidence in his word. Numbers 23:19 says God is not a man that he should lie, nor son of man that he should repent of his word. God will not go back on his word. Romans 2:11 says for there is no respect of persons with God. What the Lord does for one, he will do for another. He does not show favortism. Everyone's situation is different, I know, but if you go to the ultimate problem solver, Psalm 55:22 says cast your cares on the Lord, he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken. I pray that this episode of Open the Wound has blessed you, and has given you new found hope, strength and confidence in the word of the Lord. That it will dwell in your hearts to build your self-esteem, your walk with Christ and will give you the peace and joy that you desire. Walk in victory and see yourself through the eyes of God by studying his word. As always I thank you for listening and subscribing, please comment, send feedback via email to let me know your thoughts, opinions and any victories you've overcome by listening to this podcast. I look forward to hearing from you and will keep you lifted in prayer. Remember you are not alone and it is healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul. Have a great weekend. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24990525

What's next on my healing Journey? 11/07/2022

What's next on my healing Journey? Good day everyone, I hope and pray that you all had a beautiful weekend. I just celebrated my 53rd birthday, and am so excited to see what's next on my adventure called life. I am so thankful to everyone of you who have subscribed to my podcast. I truly appreciate you all, as I do this for you and prayerfully it is helping you deal with some of your past hurts, and even learn how to deal with present situations in life. As I stated before, I am not a licensed Psychologist, but I am an Ordained Minister and through the word of the Lord, I have learned that it is healing in the word of God, if you would just trust the word of God and read it for yourself. Life situations happen and sometimes we just don't know how to handle things in life, we need a guide. If I hadn't picked up the Bible for myself, there is no telling where I would be at this point in my life. I shared with you some devastating experiences, not to have a pity party, or to get sympathy, but to show you that there is someone that has gone through and overcame adversity. To show you the listener that there is hope on the otherside of your adversity. Many people are going through hurts from past wounds, and current wounds now, and they need to know that they are not alone. Today, I walk in victory from the bondage of past wounds and even the new wounds that are to come. I had to learn how to deal with adversity in life, it is a life skill that should be taught, but the only way you get educated on it, is to live through it. Fortunately, those of us that have had some hardships in life, are willing to share our stories with you, either through books, podcasts or testimonies in church, or motivational speaking. Whatever, your story is, know that you can help someone and possibly save lives. There is so much turmoil out here in society today and people need to hear a story of victory, it will give them hope in the midst of their adversity. Today, we will talk briefly about What's next on your healing Journey, although the title says What's next on my healing journey? Make this personal for you and your healing journey. Take a leap of faith, get to know people without trying to have an instant love connection. Try talking about different interests you may have, ask probing questions to see if they are compatible to your likes and dislikes. Take one step at a time, most importantly dump your baggage from old relationships before trying something new, it could end badly, especially if you hadn't healed. We don't want rebound relatonships to happen it just compounds the past hurts. It makes the healing take that much longer. When starting over seems to be too hard, it's just the wounds keeping you in a place called fear. We have to push past the fear of the unknown, take that leap, you may find out that what you were afraid of was just an over active imagination derived from fear. We talked about fear last week, it's false evidence appearing real. II Timothy 1: 7 ESV states: For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self control. or the king james version says a sound mind. Fear tries to keep us bound, it hinders us in our walk with Christ, and in relatonships, it also keeps us from the destiny that the Lord has predestined for us. To heal you will have to face some fears, some truths about yourself, and this is where you have to be honest with yourself. What are you willing to face? What are you willing to let go of in order to be healed? Some wounds are designed to stagnate you, to keep you imprisoned, to cause you emotional paralysis to the point you can't move on from the pain, it causes mental anguish, and despair, and some can cost you, your life. Fear is derived from a past wound of the heart or mind, we don't like to feel pain, noone does, but the truth of the matter, is that we will in some way feel betrayed. It doesn;t have to be in marriage, it could be in a friendship relationship, or a work relationship, it could be family portrayal, no matter which way it comes pain is a part of life. It doesn't have to render you helpless and as a wounded bird waiting to be destroyed as prey. We get up and learn from experiences called life, and we try our best to move on to a place called healed. That's why it's a journey to healing. Don't get attached to people that it makes it hard to let them go when they disappoint your expectations of them. Learn what matters to you and stay focused. Find a purpose, your purpose. Just because you priortize your life and the things that matter to you, doesn't mean that you are being arrogant, or that you're putting yourself on a pedestal, it just means that you are searching for what makes you happy and complete. Once you realize the lessons from life experiences, you will be able to look back on them and thank the people who caused you the pain. Why? Because they helped you become the strong individual you have become today. You may not see it now, but I know by first hand experience. I pray that this episode of open the wound has helped you, given you some clarity in whatever your situation may be. I pray that you find healing, for your mind, body, spirit and soul. Thanks for listening and subscribing. Have a beautiful rest of your week. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24932106

Lets talk about fear that imprisons you 10/30/2022

Lets talk about fear that imprisons you Lets talk about fear for a moment. I recall hearing Joyce Meyers talking about fear and she stated that it's simply false evidence appearing real. I always remembered her saying that, and I really had to learn how to put that into use for fears that I had in my own life. As a child one of my uncle's chased me with a lizard, so needless to say I have a fear of lizards. Well, today, I made up in my mind; that I was going to face that fear, and not be afraid. A lizard did get into my house, I screamed, my husband already knew what was going on and he came running to me prepared to save me from the menacing dragon. I had broom in hand and ready to shew the lizard out of the house, but my hero handled the task at hand. Today was my first time trying to handle it for myself, I believe I handled it well. I didn't run out of the room or jump on furniture. That's progress! Now, you first have to know that when a lizard, spider or a frog is in my presence, I will pack up and leave the house until proof has been showed to me that the alien invader has been evicted from the house. As my husband says he doesn't play around with peoples fears, because a person can be so afraid that they can run into traffic, or do bodily harm to themselves or another trying to flee from what they deem to be danger. I have realized that fear can paralyze us from doing the will of God, if you are afraid of public speaking, some people have been called up to speak and they would lose their voice, they would become paralyzed and some would actually lose consciousness. People can be so fearful, that it would keep them from trying new things in life, it could keep them from traveling for fear of flying, driving on a busy highway, traveling by sea, or just taking a short drive across a bridge could leave someone catatonic. I remember hearing people say that they were afraid of elevators, heights, small rooms because of claustrophobia, or fearful of the pool because they couldn't swim even if the pool was waist deep, they still wouldn't get in for fear of drowning. Fear arises with the threat of harm, either emotional, physical or psychological whether it be real or imagined. Most of our fears come from childhood, or from adulthood or somewhere inbetween. For me a lizard no matter how small, or how big they are huge iguana's, and I feel like they will jump on me, and bite. Now, I know they don't have teeth, but it's just my fear of it jumping on me. When I went through a period of domestic violence, I found myself being afraid of people talking loudly, yelling, screaming, crying, being in crowds and things of that nature. I remember getting really upset one evening, when I overheard someone speaking aggressively to another. I retreated to another location for fear that it would be an altercation, and I didn't want to see anyone get hurt. Fear can have you afraid to deal with life, work, your mental health will suffer, and sometimes it will cause you to be a homebody so to speak. You can develop anxiety and start to isolate from family and friends, functions that you use to attend, you will avoid. Fear can place you in an invisible prison, and one day you will look around and, ask how did I get here? Wounds from your past can creep up on you and cause you to think about different instances in life, such as if you were a victim of a robbery, mugged, raped, you may have had a bad experience with law enforcement, and when people seem to get to close it causes fear to rise up and you get in defense mode, when there actually is no threat around, its imagined. Your fear caused you to feel like you were going to be harmed. I know for me I really hate when someone walks to closely behind me, the one thing that I do when that happens is I turn to look at them and either I will speak or just make eye contact to make me feel more at ease and to avert a possible attack. Fear can cause so many invisible walls, and bars to be placed in your life that you don't see them, but others do. They will say things to you like why don't you go out with us anymore, or why do you stay to yourself all the time, you're isolating from your friends and family. It's fear that has gripped you and now is taking over every aspect of your life. One of my biggest fears was flying. So to overcome my fear, I went on vacation and decided to fly to Jamaica, this was back in 2002. The flight wasn't that long and the flight took an hour and 30 minutes at the most. Once I conquered that fear I found that it was a pleasant flight and I had imagined all the worse scenarios that could happen and never ever stepped foot on a plane until 2002, and now I enjoy flying. I actually just went on a helicopter ride this year and enjoyed it as well. I was able to conquer the fear of flying. I felt that wall fall down and a sense of freedom came upon me. It was like a breath of fresh air surrounded me. When you're trying to face your fears, take it one step at a time, don't do it alone, have someone with you, and if you need to talk to a professional about your fears, do not be afraid to open up to them. There are lots of people that have fears, that we may take for granted, but one thing I would say to anyone is please do not play with peoples fears, it could cause them to hurt themselves or others trying to flee from what they deem to be a dangerous situation. Fear of speaking was another area in my life that I had to overcome, and it was crazy, because I had a job that required me to conduct orientations of anywhere from 15 to 50 people at the most I had to speak in front of 75 people on the job, and I was terrified, but it was my job and I had to do it. Fortunately, I was able to sit in on another co-workers orientation and found that if I organized myself the way she did, I would be able to get through it without any problems and that is what I did. I developed my own style of presenting the orientation. I overcame the fear of conducting orientations, and once I got into ministry, the work I did with orientations, helped me to be able to speak at church functions, and present sermons to the congregation. My experiences and facing some of my fears elevated me to this point of speaking on this podcast, it's hard to speak to people you don't know or to present a work that the Lord directed you to do and then not know if it is helpful to others, but I had to overcome my fear of failure as well. I overcame that by stepping out onto this platform and asking the Lord to direct me every step of the way. I have to follow my Heavenly Father's instructions, its my service to him, and he has brought me so far in my christian walk, he has delivered me and set me free from so many things that kept me bound to an invisible prison, he set this captive free and now I just pray that with these podcasts, you the listener will be set free as well. Scripture tells us in Psalm 34:4 I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. If you would just seek the Lord in prayer for answers you need about what is holding you back from going forth in what the Lord has spoken to you about doing for his kingdom, trust he will answer you and he will begin to take you through the steps to break down that invisible prison. Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong and courageous, do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you He will not leave you or forsake you. Allow the Lord to lead you to the place he has predestined for you, you may be that Preacher, teacher, motivational speaker that helps millions of people in their walk with life, in Christ, into freedom from their bondage. Just trust the Lord with your fears, give them to him and allow him to heal you from them. 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24827832

Let me work this out! 10/23/2022

Let me work this out! How many times have we tried to work a situation out, you know the relationship issues, workplace drama, confusion at the church,, different relationship dynamics, only to find out that it was misperceived notions. You lost valuable time nursing a wound that was perceived in error. You chose to remain silent and the enemy had you believing something that was made up in your mind. The enemy has a way of twisting things around making you believe that you're being victimized, but in fact both parties are affected by the delusions. The enemy is on his job to create havoc, discord, divisions in families and discontentment on jobs to get you off of your assignment, and he is doing it well. The body of Christ is being fooled by deceptive practices and they are not coming prepared to fight against the fiery darts of the enemy. The left the truth for the lie. Believers need to study the word of God in order to rightly divide the word of truth. Lets work this out together using scripture to show us how to handle adversity when it comes our way. Proverbs 19:11 Good sense makies one slow to anger, and it is his glory to over look an offense. Ecclesiates 7:21-22 Do not take to heart all the things that people say lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others. Proverbs 17:9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends. Proverbs 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. If we would all take a moment to evaluate the reasons that caused us to be angry, upset, frustrated or disappointed, we'd find it was due to misinterpretation, I learned a few years ago that communication takes two actions. The 1st is to speak clear and concise, not beating around the bush so to speak. To be as factual as possible, not going off of hearsay. 2nd be a good listener, ask for clarity if something is unclear, and reason with one another. Sometimes, you just have to settle for a happy medium. You agree to disagree and move on to the next topic. We have to realize that we're all made different we all have different ideals, cultures, thoughts and opinions. It's just the differences that make us unique so we build on it and respect each others input. We all have value, we just have to learn how to work it out. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24775446

Show me how to love again 10/16/2022

Show me how to love again One of the most important things to do in order to love again, is to forgive the person, yourself, and learn from past mistakes. We all have an idea of what love should be like, but if we were wounded from childhood, and never received counsel, or never got over the pain from it. We tend to base love on false reality, the reality that love may sometime hurt and be abusive, it may cheat on you, and drag you through the mud. NO! Love should not be painful, it will not tear you down, it will not call you out of your name, it will not withhold anything good from you. Love is kind, gentle, caring, concern, patient, true and honest. People have warped senses of what love can and should be. Jesus showed us what love is, by dying for us on Calvary. I'm not saying that we should die for someone to prove our love, but when we love someone the sacrifice to save someone's life, is that you would lay down your life to save the one you love. In order to truly love again, you must love yourself, be honest with yourself about the mistakes you made and take accountability for them. Do not and I repeat do not play a victim's role, that it was always someone else's fault to why you got hurt, sometimes in all actuality we are the orchestrator of our hurt. Why? Because we never healed from the damage that was done years ago, before this person came into your life and damaged you. Your heart was already messed up, and you had so much baggage that you didn't realize that it was weighing you down. The individual tried to show you love, but you didn't know how to receive it. What happens is, we turn and run in and out of peoples lives causing them harm to the point that they can't take it anymore and then they retaliate. This leaves a trail of dysfunctional relationships behind you, and when you try to start over you can't for fear of failure. For me to show you how to love again, you would need to take time for yourself to heal. Re-evaluate how you have contributed to your heartache and see what you can do to change that part of your personality or character flaw. One of the hardest things a person can do is evaluate themselves and find fault in themselves, but it is easy to find fault in others. Learn from past mistakes in relationships, go through all your baggage and clean it out, from past, present and even future relationships, do not take past issues into present life. Learn how to communicate your thoughts, dreams, feelings, be open to discusss your likes and dislikes, examine common interests, and most importantly for me is, your belief system. What is your faith life about? Does your faith line up with mine? You must find common ground and build on it. The one thing I learned was to be open to new things and communicate effectively, so there would be no misconceptions. Allow the man to be the man, and let him pursue you. Allow the friendship to build, get to know each other, put the Lord at the forefront of your relationship. Pray together, study the word of God together. Be able to relay when something is hurtful to you, don't make excuses about things that have hurt you, and be willing to explain it to your partner. Be able to accept apologies for mistakes, because we all make them; and should learn from them. Moving on can be scary, but it can be done. Allow the healing to take place so the Lord can prepare you for his blessings. We tend to see something we want and because it looks appealing so we want it, but it is not what the Lord had planned for us, then we find ourselves in a bad place. Take time to heal from the wounds of your past. Job 8:7 says: And though your beginning was small, your latter days will be very great. I know that my latter days now are much better than the days I have behind me, I am so grateful for where the Lord has brought me, and even though those things that are behind me hurt me, they cultivated me, to who I am today. Romans 8:26 says: Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness, for we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Sometimes we just have to cry out to the Lord for direction, sometimes that's all that is needed. The Lord wants to hear from you, he know's what's best for each one of us, and he knows what it's going to take to get our attention, we just need to trust him and his process, because when we do things our own way it tends to fail us. Philippians 3:13 says: Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead. I no longer worry about yesterday, I am more optimistic of what life has in store for me presently and in the future. The pain of my past is just that, my past. I walk now in victory from being healed by the word of the Lord, he renewed my strength and I have a praise on the inside that noone can take away. My prayer for you is that you will allow the Lord to take you through the healing process, understand that you are not alone and others are facing trials, struggles and hardships just like you. You are definitely not alone, there are others that have overcome, and are victorious, because they chose to allow the Lord to take them through the healing process. Take that time for yourself so that you can be healed from the wounds of your past. Then you, will be able to love again. As always I thank you for listening to my podcast, I pray it has helped you and that you find love again, I pray that you will take what has been said and apply it to your life. I don't confess knowing all things about life, but I have been through enough life disappointments to know what helped me and is still helping me. Everyone is different, but I do pray that this podcast helps you in your healing process. Just know that there is healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24703908

What Do I have to Offer? 10/10/2022

What Do I have to Offer? Today we will discuss: What Do I Have to Offer? I recall some years ago while in my mid-twenties, I asked myself; what do I have to offer? Of course this was after several disappointments in relationships that failed. I thought the relationships were actually going somewhere, but I found out that they were very toxic to my mental health and well-being. Sometimes we find ourselves in this mental state asking different questions of ourselves, because we feel like we are not worthy of anything good. I know this happens in everyone's life at some point, especially with disappointment in relationships, jobs and in life general. The funny thing about disappointment is that it teaches a valuable lesson. That is to search deep within yourself to find out what caused the disappointment? What were you looking for in the relationship that you didn't get? What expectations did you place on the individual that was not rational, or maybe it was rational, and they just didn't measure up to your expectations? Most disappointmens happen, because of expectations being too high for the individual to achieve. We have to realize that as expectations have been placed on us by our parents, friends, or colleagues, that we struggle to appease them, but it's not in our hearts or it's not our passion. What do you have to offer? Search your heart and mind, see what makes you tick. Parents may want you to be a doctor, but you may love music, law, science, psychology. You maybe one that wants to make a difference in peoples lives or in your community. It doesn't make you less important, if you chose to be a dog walker or the President, your human and trying to find your place in this world. People can put damaging wounds on others because of their expectations of you. Be the best version of yourself, find your voice and use it. Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. I had to come to the reality about my own life. I found myself trying to impress my mother, because of our strained relationship, trying to obtain love or acknowledgement from her, trying to show her that I am worthy of her love. My mind was warped due to me being born from rape, I felt like I had to validate my life, to make it count for something. I finally realized that it was not making me happy, I was miserable, and my heart was hurt because of my expectations. When you get to a place in life and find out just how damaged you are, and why you do certain things, the purpose of them and the outcomes that you hoped for don't manifest, you set yourself up for failure and disillusionment, then you walk away with clarity. You begin to search out ways to better yourself for you and noone else. Galatians 1:10 is about you not seeking the approval of man, or trying to please man. You will begin to seek approval from the Lord once you start seeking after the plan the Lord has for your life, you'll begin to pray asking him to direct your footsteps, to lead you and guide you on the path he designed for you. Proverbs 16: 3 commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be establlished. We all have different gifts, talents, we use them to the best of our abilities, not to be in competition with someone else. Most people have these invisible competitions with others, and they didn't even know there was a competition. I remember during the holidays our family would come together and sometimes there would be cooking rivals, if someone cooked a dish and a relative opened their dish to give someone a taste the other relative would go to their dish and say no try mine first. It was invisible competition that was not necessary, trying to see who cooked the best, or who would it more of what person's dish than the other. It was maddening. The point is no matter what you are good at or bad at you do have something to offer. You offer yourself, your expertise, your heart, your love, your kindness, your flaws and all. Just offer yourself and believe me, there is someone that can and will be helped by a gift that the Lord has given you. Trust the process of healing from those disappointments that caused you damage. As always I hope this episode helps you see that you do have something to offer and that there is truly healing for your mind, body spirit and soul. Have a wonderful week and know that the Lord loves you and so do I. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24636432

Who Am I, Designed to Be? 10/01/2022

Why am I going in the same circle, not moving forward? 09/25/2022

Why am I going in the same circle, not moving forward? One reason we don't move forward and go in the same circle is, that we do not recognize a problem. It sometimes takes a few times going through the same struggle or trial to notice that there is a problem. Once we realize the problem we don't know how to tackle it, or change it. Sometimes it's our behaviors that need to be changed, but we think that those behaviors are normal, but in fact they keep getting us into trouble, turmoil, or leave us feeling shamed, and having fear of ever getting out of this vicious circle that causes us more damage to our heart and even our mindsets. We don't know how to plan or set goals, and even if we did, we would be afraid that we would fail. Why? Because of the negative thinking that goes on in our minds, due to fear and shame from the past. So, we have to learn how to change our way of thinking, and our behaviors. We try to set goals that are not attainable, because we think of change as a microwaveable dish, and it's not that quick, it's not like instant oatmeal or 5 minute instant grits. We have to learn how to develop and set goals that are realistic and attainable, and we have to plan a time period. The word of God says in Habakkuk (Amplified) 2:2-3 Then the Lord answered me and said, Write the vision and engrave it plainly on tablets So that the one who reads it will run. 3. For the vision is yet for the appointed time it hurries toward the goal; it will not fail. Even though it delays, wait for it, Because it will certainly come; it will not delay. I had to realize once I got back into reading and studying the word of God that I had to make changes in my life. I needed to set goals, and write those goals and plans out. So I began to journal my thoughts, my aspirations, my trials, my struggles, I even wrote prayers for myself, of course this is when I recognized what those deep issues I had that were causing me to keep going in the same circle. I remember reading II Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. Ephesians 4:22-24 To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Phillipians 4:13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Once I began to read the word of the Lord, changes did gradually start taking place, not all at once. It was baby steps and was I afraid? Yes! I began to see things differently, and I began to pray asking the Lord to help me in the arears of my wickness, my fears, help me to make better decisions and choices. I ask the Lord to guide my footsteps and to give me clear direction for my life. I was afraid of the unknown, but I was also adventrous enough to make that leap. I had to step out of my comfort zone, hold my head up high without feeling shame and guilt from past hurts or mistakes that I had made. I needed to learn how to speak positive and reject the negativity that I was speaking to myself about my past and fear of failure. It was my negative thoughts that were sabotaging my growth, both mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Our negative thinking can produce some very detrimental lies that will derail us from attaining the place that the Lord is directing us to. Another way we stay in the same circle is that we don't have the proper tools to manage the change. Change requires patience, dedication, and instructions. We need to make sure that our thinking and behaviors will line up with the new instruction manual. We also underestimate the process, we have to know that with major changes, there is bound to be mistakes. Just because mistakes happen doesn't mean that we have to give up, we just start over and trust the process, that the mistake happened to get our attention and keep us focused on the end results. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24479646

How do you know when you are healed from the wounds or heartbreak of your past? 09/18/2022

How to seek God for guidance in healing your brokenness 09/11/2022

Finding the areas of brokenness in your life 09/04/2022

Finding the areas of brokenness in your life So many times as women we put a smile on our face to hide our sadness. We don't want to be considered weak so we hide the tears, our fears, our pain, and we disquise it with other things. Things to keep our focus away from what we're dealing with. It's not easy to be the one in control over the life of our children as single mothers. We want what's best for them, and sometimes we endure ridicle, abuse physical, emotional, and financial just for the sake of companionship. Some of the areas of brokenness I had to address, were feelings of rejection. I felt that my dad abandoned me, he never searched for me, and due to his absence, it left me with emotional wounds that caused a brokenness in my heart and spirit. Another area of brokenness for me was trusting others. I felt as though, I was betrayed by others, and it also caused wounds. Those wounds built up, and caused dysfunctions in the way I thought. My mind said don't believe anything people tell you they're only out to hurt you. In order to find the areas of brokenness in your life, first you must be true to yourself. Be honest about how you feel when disappointed, things that hurt your heart, things that make you angry. Sometimes those things are triggers to unaddressed wounds. Why am I angry? Why do I feel depressed? What am I crying for? Why am I unlovable? Why are my relationships falling apart? These are just a few questions in searching out areas of brokenness. Brokenness can mean a lot of things. It can be imperfections, heartbreake, physical/emotional, weakness, and not being aware of your emotions. I recall not being able to determine certain emotions and not allowing myself to feel deep senses of love and I would pull away from relationships, because I didn't want people to get too close to my heart, for fear of them doing harm. So many of us are so busy building a wall of protection that we miss opportunity of embracing true love and we sabotage relationships, because of our broken areas. Those wounds that we sometimes don't realize are there or we realize it, but don't want to address it. Here's what the word of God says about brokenness. Psalm 34:18 says The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Psalm 147: 3 says He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. 1 Peter 5:7 says Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. One thing I did on my journey to healing was face one weakness at a time. I had to learn how to forgive myself and others, then I had to search out my emotions which were all over the place. I prayed, and asked the Lord to help me in my areas of weakness and brokenness. The Lord began to show me myself, and some was not pretty, but I faced them. My prayer for you is that you'll be honest in seeking your areas of brokenness and you allow the Lord to guide you in the healing process. As always I pray you enjoyed this episode of Open the Wound. It's truly healing for your mind, body, spirit and soul. Thanks for listening /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24265125

How to deal with the wounds of unforgiveness 08/27/2022

How to deal with the wounds of unforgiveness You know so many people walk around with the issues of unforgiveness. I know you may say, but you don't understand how badly they hurt me. Guess what by us and I say us, because I've had to forgive what seemed to be unforgivable. It is possible to forgive, if you choose to forgive the perpetrator, you loosen their power over your life. When we choose to hold on to the unforgiveness, we're allowing them to keep victimizing us repeatedly. They affect our life choices, they affect our moods, and they affect how we view people in general who never hurt us. We become victimized to the wound all over again. When I started reading the word of God, one of the first things the Lord started dealing with me about was forgiving myself. I had to forgive Tabatha, for decisions that were made out of anger, and, I had to forgive people for their part in hurting me. I forgave my stepdad of all the things he had done to me. I could only do it by the strength of my Heavenly Father. I remember getting a call letting me know that he had passed away. At the time I was living in Florida, I spoke with my sister to see if she would take that ride with me, because I knew that she had unforgiveness in her heart towards her father, and I wanted her to find forgiveness, but she declined. He was being cremated, so I knew I had to take this trip to face the man that inflicted my first wound, along with a few others. I drove to Savannah, Ga , it seemed as though I was flying to save the life of a loved one, Lord knows I had this sense of urgency in my spirit. Once I arrived at the funeral home, the director inquired if I was the young lady from Florida, I responded yes, sir. He asked if I was driving over 100 miles an hour, because I arrived within 5 1/2 hours of speaking with him. The point of this is that I was pressed to get there to face that wound. I had to look at what remained of the inflictor of pain, although he was deceased, I looked at him and said I forgive you, you no longer have a hold over my life. Immediately I felt what seemed to be bricks lift off my shoulders. I felt a powerful heartbeat, something that I can't explain. Then I walked away with my head held high. On this same trip, I decided to face my ex-husband. I found him and, in all places, he could choose to live, it was my grandmothers' old house. Really!!! The moment I arrived and faced him my heart was beating so fast, but I completed the mission. I looked him in his eyes and told him, I'm saved now and in order for me to be forgiven, I have to forgive you for what you did to me. I forgive you for saying that I was just mad because, I lost my baby, and you had another on the way. I forgive you for tying me up and raping me repeatedly, I forgive you for beating on me and I pray that you will one day turn your life around as I have. I then asked him to forgive me for anything that I may have done to hurt him. I told him I found out that I needed to forgive him so that I can be free. He stood there with a blank look in his eyes, it was as if he was a stone, he didn't say a word. I got back into my car and yes, another strong beat of my heart and the feeling of peace came upon me. It was a warm feeling and, I started to cry and give God praise. I shouted Lord you said that if I forgive then I'll be forgiven. I trusted what I had read in the bible, and I acted upon it, then I began to apply biblical principles (scripture) to my life regarding unforgiveness. Those were just two examples of how I faced wounds of my past, there were still so many more. I had realized that with the damage to my heart, I still had to search the stone walls of my heart to find the other invisible wounds that kept me bound. Yes, I had to search them out, remember in episode three I said we have to get to the root? Well, my dears, roots as you know run very deep. That's the same with wounds of the heart, you don't know how deep it runs and what it's connected to until you dig it up. The process of healing isn't microwavable, it's a process, the same way a contractor is building a house. The contractor has to excavate the land, he has to laydown the plumbing and then pour a foundation that is sturdy enough to hold the building he is constructing. When we are trying to get to a place called healed, we have to go back and dig up the foundation and find where the problem was. Once you find out that information then you can begin to make repairs. This is why you have to examine the stone wall of your heart and chisel away at it one piece at a time. This scripture I read touched my heart, and I knew that I had to address the unforgiveness in my heart for those that inflicted the pain I was carrying. It had affected my life for too long and I needed to be free from it. It took me some time to get to this place, but the process is well worth what I feel in my heart today. Matthew 6:14-15 says: 14. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. When I read this scripture, I knew that I had done somethings wrong to hurt others, because of the hurt that I experienced, the word of God just told me that if I forgive then I will be forgiven. I had to forgive. The forgiveness was for me to be set free. I pray you enjoyed this episode of open the wound, and as always just know that the wounds of your pass do not have to keep you in bondage and there is truly healing for your mind, body, spirit, and soul. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24181128

How to deal with unaddressed wounds that still affect your life 08/20/2022

How to deal with unaddressed wounds that still affect your life The first thing in dealing with the wounds that still affect your life, is to acknowledge the problem or issue. Find out why this issue is hindering you, find the root cause of the issue, and find out why is it so bothersome to the point of controlling and affecting the course of your life. It's not an easy task to finding the root cause, but it is possible, if you seek the Lord in prayer. If you want to know the truth about yourself, seek the Lord in prayer about who you are and why you feel the way you do about life. The Lord will give you the answers if you believe. You have to trust and ask the right questions. Wounds can be so damaging, even those that are repressed, those are the most dangerous wounds. They are the ones that disquise themselves and periodically rear their heads up when something good seems to be too good to be true and causes fear to step in. Then its those wounds that cause us to sabotage relationships, job opportunities, spiritual growth, or the opportunity to be set free from the bondage of the enemy. Those wounds that have been designed to paralye you and keep you from reaching the plan and purpose for your life. Its's a derailment tactic designed by the enemy of our souls. If he can keep us discouraged, depressed and oppressed then he has won half the battle. We, would not, be in the position, that the Lord has predestined for us. What is predestination? It is the state of being predestined, the doctrine that God in consequence of his foreknowledge of all events infallibly guides those who are destined for salvation. Now, you ask yourself what does this have to do with wounds that are not addressed or repressed? The wounds that you do not recall are the wounds that invisibly keep you bound they are invisible chains and locks, and they are too painful to recall on a daily basis, you have to chip away at the stones, chains, and locks that have hidden them from your sight. However, this is the same wound that when it is accidentally rubbed it lifts up and the pain you feel is that of the infection that was never cured, so like a kid you try to protect by becoming very careful with how you handle it, or you keep people away from it so they can't see or touch it. In order for you to heal that wound that has been unaddressed, once you seek the root of the wound out, then you have to lift that scab and start addressing the different types of infections it has. You have to treat the anger, bitterness, fear, unforgiveness, possibly hate, identify the cause of the wound. The wound could be failed marriage, adultery, rape molestation, drug addiction, alcoholism, prostitution, feeling unworthy, how you were treated as a youth in your home or at school, if you were bullied as a kid or sometimes as an adult, if you had a blended family, and you felt alone, if you felt like you didn't belong or you just wanted people to hear you and they shut you down, you felt rejected or abandoned. Did you feel like you mattered? Where you called names as a child? Can you identify the root cause of your unaddressed wounds? Where you molested by a relative, did someone touch you inappropriately? Were you lied to as a child and you have trust issues, because the person or persons who lied to you were people that you idolized? Were you the topic of ridicule, were you married and your spouse cheated on you or abused you and no one believed you, because he/she hid the abuse well? Were you threatened with violence if you spoke out about what you were going through and would be assaulted if you told what happened to you, or a family member that you love was threatened to be harmed as well? Were you locked up in a basement or attic and only let out to go to school or work? Where you denied food, clothing, and baths to keep you under control? Were you continously sexually assaulted by a loved one who you admired? These could be some root causes to your wounds and if left repressed will continue to affect and direct the course of your life and will keep you bound from the freedom that the Lord is trying to get you too. You may have even experienced the loss of a child and it just grips you so bad that you don't want to have any kids due to fear of another loss. I know, I was terrified when I found out that I was pregnant with my son, I was so fearful and I tried not to think about life with him, because I felt like I would lose him. I continued doing the drugs and living a life that was not in the best interest of the child. That's how warped my thinking had become from the wounds. You have to begin to face some of these areas and find that one, that is holding you back, it could be several, but just deal with one at a time. Find a journal, and start writing some of your thoughts down on paper. Try to recall different relationships you had and how they affected you from the beginning to the end of them. How was your childhood, what sticks out at you the most? What was the worst thing that you ever experienced and see if that is a sore spot in your life? It's all kinds of wounds that keep us from our destiny. The more I sought after the Lord, the more he dealt with my heart problem, the wounds that I had, The more I read, the more I saw myself in scripture, the more I prayed, the more he showed me, but this was over a course of several years. He took me from childhood issues to teenage issues and adulthood, he showed me the wounds that I had and why. He showed me the medication to use on each wound that I had, and some of the medication, I honestly did not want to take, because I did not want to touch the wound. I had gotten use to the infection being there and sometimes, I liked the feeling it gave me. I guess you would say that was part of the sickness from the wound, because it started affecting the mental state of the body, making me think that the infection was normal, and that I was normal. But, I wasn't normal, especially when people started noticing things being off about me. You know those things that as a child, you wished they had paid attention to, so you could have been healed, but now your an adult, and you just don't care, because, you have decided that this is your normalcy. Did you know that the Lord will send people to you to ask you questions about yourself just to get you to think? I remember when my wounds started getting addressed, I was in my early twenties. I had an instructor at a technical college who posed this question to me: Tabatha, why is it that when I try to correct you, you get upset? That instructor at that moment had me address my low self-esteem. Had she not asked me that question, I wouldn't have known that feeling came from family telling me that I will not amount to anything. So, you have to ask the right questions in order to find out what the unaddressed wound is that is affecting each part of your life. It may be one wound, or it could be many wounds. Take it one wound at a time, I don't want you to bleed all over the place to the point that you can not function, trying to bandage all these things at once. Ask yourself what is the major thing affecting your life? Then get to the root of it. That requires you to dig deep. Once you find that wound then now it's time to start doing some operating on it. You have to see how deep the infection goes, see what spiritual recommendations are needed to treat it. It could need a dose of forgiveness, conflict resolution, prayer, fasting and reading healing scriptures daily. What ever it takes for you to get healed, allow the Lord to guide you to it. He will never lead you the wrong way. His word is a map to living a life of wholeness. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24115209

Rebellion Takes Root 08/12/2022

Rebellion Takes Root With damage to your heart, you're led by emotions instead of rational thinking. Your mind is clouded by pain and what appears to be logic, is irrational thinking. It's important to be healed from the wounds of the past in order to have a positive future. Rebellion warps your thinking or thought process, causing you to operate off of feelings and sometimes fear. You become angry, bitter, and lost. You look for answers, but you can't find them. Why? Because, you don't know where or how to begin the healing process. Why is it difficult to find peace? It's because you haven't forgiven the person or person's that harmed you. No matter how many times you say you forgive, when situations arise that are similar to the on-set of your pain, you begin to rebel against the person, or situation. Arguments ensue, and you become the person inflicting damage, but you only see your wounds, and now you're victimized by self-inflicted pain from the wound that you never addressed. In my first podcast I said where did it begin, and that our wounds if left untreated affect our decision making. It also affects our emotions. We don't know whether we're coming or going in some cases. All we know is that there is pain and a hole in our heart. We're not living our lives to the fullest, we're just existing. My rebellion was due to not having my biological father in my life. I started looking for love in all the wrong places. It affected my relationships, and how I chose who I got involved with. Trust and believe the relationships were abusive, due to my untreated wounds, they were toxic relationships. I would ask myself; do I have Loser written across my forehead or what? I was very angry about my life, and upset with my mother, yet I still loved her. My thinking was warped by the wounds, I couldn't see straight. Mentally I was a wreck, but no one knew the pain I was in, because I remained silent. My rebellious years consisted of me sneaking around, lying about where I'd be, and hanging out with boys when no one was home. In my warped mind I wanted to be loved by a male figure. Just wanting to be held and given affection as if it came from my dad, but it didn't change anything. The love I was looking for was something I'd never obtain. The love of a father. Being rebellious was just my way of getting attention from my mother, but it still didn't fill that emptiness inside. As I got older, I started realizing that I didn't recognize what my emotions were. I didn't know how to feel, and I started walking around as an empty shell of a human being. My mind was so infected by the wound, that I thought running away would solve my problems, but life just got worse. I experienced homelessness, addiction, rape, molestation, physical and mental abuse, suicide attempts, and the loss of my daughter through still birth. I started realizing that in some of this I victimized myself, because I chose to remain silent. I also made wrong decisions for my life that was to no fault of anyone else. My pain was there because I allowed it to remain there without getting the proper treatment. I made decisions, because of the pain sustained by wounds that people didn't know they inflicted, but I was a kid, my thought was couldn't anyone see what I was going through or what was going on? I was labeled by a neighbor as a hot cookie, and yes, her words reached my ears and yes it hurt, with all these adults or parents around you mean to tell me that none recognized that something was wrong with me. My heart was broken, so rebellion set in full speed ahead, followed by acting out and finally running away from home. The next stage of my life at sixteen, I got married, pregnant, abused sexually by my husband, introduced to drugs, became homeless, the loss of my baby girl and all of that within one year. I was so angry at God at this point, I remember walking down the street one day and yelled out GOD I HATE YOU! and as soon as I said it, I retracted it saying God I don't hate you, I just don't understand how you could have taken my baby from me. She was the only thing that I had to show love to and that would love me back. I started thinking what do I have to live for? So, I took a handful of tranquilizers, believe it or not my husband came and saw the pills were gone and he made me regurgitate them back up. I guess you could say he didn't want to see me dead. I was angry with my life, and yes it was out of control, the damage had caused me to start using drugs more after the death of my daughter, the abuse didn't help. I thought I deserved what I was getting. I felt so low, I started thinking, that my dad never looked for me, my mother and I had a rough relationship, I just wanted all the pain to end. How can a person heal from all this trauma? Believe it or not, the more pain I experienced, the more I cried out to God to help me. The more I cried the more I begin to seek comfort. I finally broke down and prayed. I was raised in the church, I did know the, our father prayer, but I thought to myself, that there was something more that I needed to say to the Lord. Here's the prayer I said that started the change in my life. Lord, please help me! I don't want to be this way anymore. Give me something that will change my life. A few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. Now, of course this was after I divorced my daughter's father and tried to move on, but I was still on the drugs, and I knew this was not the life that I wanted for myself. Thus, the reason for the prayer. It's been four years since I lost my daughter, when I found out I was pregnant again. I was so loss, but after that prayer my life began to gradually change. I had to open my mouth and ask the Lord for help, I didn't know what to do as a kid, but as an adult, I realized that my life was in complete shambles, and as an adult I wanted to be healed and I wanted a life that was filled with joy, peace, comfort and love. I talked to the only one that could help me, and that was the Almighty. My prayer for you the listener is to know that you're not alone in your struggles, there's always someone going through something and sometimes theirs is worse than yours. The problem is that when we go through, we shutdown, isolate from people and pride sets in, saying no one will understand, no one care, you feel like you're the only one going through this, or your feel that people will judge you, and you begin to feel like you are weak. I'm here to tell you that, that is what the enemy tells us in order to keep us bound to our wounds. It's designed to cripple us and keep us from where the Lord is trying to take us. If we could see or think from a spiritual aspect during times of turmoil, struggles or pain we would know that these attacks or trials have been designed to bind us up and keep us from the plan and purpose of the Lord for our lives. I want you to think about these questions and really search your heart for the answers. If you had not gone through the trial in your life, where do you believe your life would be? How has your wound or wounds affected your outlook on your life? Do you still have anxiety or get emotional when talking about your past? If so, your wound is still controlling or affecting your life. If your wounds are still affecting you or controlling you, I pray that you seek the help that you need for healing. Psalm 107:20 states: He sent out his word and healed them and delivered them from their destruction. James 1:1-4 states: James a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes scattered among the nations; Greeting. 2. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3. Because you know the testing of your faith produces perseverance 4. Let perseverance finish its works so that you maybe mature and complete, not lacking anything. Next week I'll discuss with you how to deal with those wounds that still control you. As always, I thank you for listening and hope that by sharing bits of my life with you, it shows you that you're not alone and there is healing on the other side of the wound. /episode/index/show/b42c0384-d509-4743-9863-1aacf80bb1c5/id/24040137

Open the Wound Bible Based Podcast

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