Episode 12 | Education and Total Institutions (Surprise producer appearance)
Release Date: 10/15/2024
Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially...
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Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable
Hey White Women
In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how...
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Episode 37 | Are Red-Heads Black?
Hey White Women
In this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces. The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness,...
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Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism. ...
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Episode 35 | Colors for Community
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of fashion, identity, and race, discussing how personal expression through clothing can challenge societal norms. They delve into the complexities of navigating whiteness in diverse spaces, the cultural disconnect evident in social interactions, and the significance of color as a form of resistance. The discussion also touches on the importance of critiquing whiteness, understanding cult dynamics through the Byte model, and the value of personal narratives in shaping identity. They emphasize the role of community in fostering...
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Episode 34 | Boom Boom Beige
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of platform building, the evolution of ideas, and the impact of cultural narratives on personal identity. They discuss the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the tenets of white supremacy, and the challenges of navigating capitalism and professionalism. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of shared experiences and the need to reopen historical conversations while addressing the dehumanization inherent in capitalist systems. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of capitalism,...
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Episode 33 | Protest or Parade?
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of race, activism, and the impact of online criticism, particularly on black women. They discuss the intersection of political identity and extremism, the role of white women in social movements, and the importance of listening to marginalized voices. The conversation delves into the dynamics of whiteness in society, the power of storytelling, and the journey of self-discovery in the context of anti-racism. Ultimately, they emphasize the need for community support and the role of women in driving social change. In this...
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Episode 32 | "Lickies and Chewies?"
Hey White Women
This conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the...
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Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella...
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Episode 30 | Speaking equitably with confidence
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca delve into the complexities of cult dynamics, particularly focusing on the Nation of Islam. They explore personal experiences with cults, the intersection of race and cults, and the societal responses to these groups. The discussion highlights the role of white women in these conversations, the importance of listening and learning from diverse experiences, and the manipulative tactics employed by cults. The speakers emphasize that conflict can be a necessary part of understanding and navigating these topics, and they advocate for a more nuanced...
info_outlineIn this suprise guest episode, the speakers explore the challenges of traditional education, particularly for neurodivergent individuals. They discuss the concept of total institutions and how societal norms can impact personal identity and acceptance. The dialogue shifts to the importance of navigating life beyond conventional paths, embracing change, and redefining expertise. The speakers also touch on the dangers of cult-like structures and apocalyptic thinking in society, emphasizing the need for personal narrative and the evolution of tools in human adaptation. In this conversation, the speakers explore the challenges and opportunities of self-publishing versus traditional publishing, the impact of social media on self-worth, and the complexities of safety and uncertainty in today's world. They discuss the societal expectations surrounding work, the illusion of choice in education, and the importance of community and shared experiences. The conversation also delves into the implications of the worship of the written word, the intersection of race and narrative, and the need to deconstruct societal norms and expectations.
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Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Takeaways
- Haley is dropping out of school to pursue her interests.
- Total institutions can create harmful group norms.
- Neurodivergent individuals often struggle in structured systems.
- Acceptance in groups can be superficial and manipulative.
- Life paths are rarely linear; zigzagging is common.
- Self-definition is crucial in navigating personal identity.
- Cults can exploit feelings of rejection and need for belonging.
- Apocalyptic thinking is prevalent in American culture.
- New tools can provoke fear but also lead to adaptation.
- Personal narratives are powerful in shaping identity.
- Self-publishing offers innovative ways to reach audiences.
- Social media can create a transactional view of self-worth.
- Uncertainty does not equate to unsafety.
- Life expectancy for neurodivergent individuals is alarmingly low.
- The traditional work ethic is being challenged by younger generations.
- Education often limits true choice in career paths.
- Community support is vital for personal growth and understanding.
- The written word is often revered without questioning its origins.
- Racial narratives are often shaped by historical biases.
- Societal norms can be deconstructed for a more inclusive future.
Sound Bites
"Group norms in total institutions really matter."
"The master's tool will not tear down the master's house."
Chapters
00:00 Breaking Free from Traditional Education
04:12 Understanding Total Institutions
06:53 The Struggles of Neurodivergence in Structured Systems
09:55 The Complexity of Identity and Acceptance
12:56 Navigating Life Beyond Conventional Paths
15:55 The Challenge of Self-Definition
19:04 The Dangers of Cult-like Structures
22:03 Apocalyptic Thinking in Society
24:53 The Evolution of Tools and Human Adaptation
28:11 The Power of Personal Narrative
31:03 Embracing Change and Uncertainty
33:58 Redefining Expertise and Identity
41:44 Navigating Traditional Publishing vs. Self-Publishing
44:40 The Impact of Social Media on Self-Worth
47:43 Understanding Safety and Uncertainty
50:51 Challenging the Work Culture Paradigm
53:46 The Illusion of Choice in Career Paths
56:35 Redefining Value Beyond Traditional Metrics
59:45 The Role of Education and Societal Expectations
01:02:06 The Power of Community and Shared Experiences
01:05:12 Navigating Conversations on Race and Whiteness
01:08:40 Deconstructing the Worship of the Written Word
01:11:26 The Intersection of Sexuality and Identity
01:21:50 Closing Thoughts on Empowerment and Change