Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day
Hey White Women
Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears
Hey White Women
This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...
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White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of identity, perception, and the societal expectations placed on individuals, particularly in the context of race and gender. They discuss the nuances of expertise, the burden of proof faced by marginalized voices, and the armor people wear to navigate societal pressures. The dialogue delves into the dynamics of community, the impact of white supremacy, and the importance of embracing diverse narratives without the need for validation from others.
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJI
Takeaways
- There's a fear to be had of these black spaces.
- Defensiveness is a tenant of white supremacy.
- White women are the men of women.
- You expect certain things from those closest to you.
- It shouldn't have to be this hard.
- You can use whiteness as a shield.
- We need to talk about the trauma.
- You think I'm going to give you the formula in 10 minutes?
- I am not a dictionary. I have expertise.
- The dynamics of enabling and abuse are complex. Perception often overshadows reality in social interactions.
- Expertise is frequently questioned based on identity rather than merit.
- The burden of proof can disproportionately affect marginalized individuals.
- Armor is a metaphor for the protective identities people adopt in society.
- Cults create a false sense of superiority and control over narratives.
- Community support is crucial for validating experiences and identities.
- Neurodivergence can complicate social interactions and expectations.
- Critiques of white supremacy can be misconstrued as personal attacks.
- Understanding one's own biases is essential for personal growth.
- Embracing nuance allows for a richer understanding of diverse experiences.
Chapters
00:00 Navigating Whiteness and Black Spaces
03:27 Defensiveness and Its Implications
06:23 The Complexity of Feminism and Race
09:21 Understanding the Role of White Women in Systems of Power
12:18 Language, Shame, and Cultural Sensitivity
15:03 The Dynamics of Enabling and Abuse
18:01 The Personal Impact of Systemic Oppression
21:09 Healing and Accountability in White Feminism
28:32 Understanding Privilege and Responsibility
31:09 Deconstructing Whiteness and Its Impact
34:21 The Complexity of Identity and Experience
39:15 The Perception of Criminality and Redemption
42:14 Navigating Online Interactions and Defensiveness
55:00 The Nuances of Critique and Community Support
58:39 Navigating Perceptions and Misunderstandings
01:01:12 Cultural Dynamics and Language Barriers
01:04:12 The Burden of Whiteness and Main Character Energy
01:07:41 Deconstructing Armor and Identity
01:10:45 Perception vs. Reality in Professional Spaces
01:16:49 The Complexity of White Saviorism
01:19:50 American Exceptionalism and Cult MentalityProduced by Haley Phillips