Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep48 | Purity Prison
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive into themes of creativity, body image, cultural conditioning, and the lingering impacts of cult and purity culture. Daniella shares her journey of transforming clothing and crafts as a form of healing, while Rebecca draws connections between whiteness, consumerism, and self-imposed restrictions on bodies and identities. Together, they unpack how purity culture manifests in practices like “purity balls,” clothing expectations, and even shower habits, connecting these to deeper systems of control rooted in patriarchy, whiteness, and colonization....
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep47 | Main Characters
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella (Knitting Cult Lady) dive into the intersections of social conditioning, cult dynamics, whiteness, and language. The conversation begins with Daniella’s reflections on color, identity, and creativity, connecting personal expression (knitting, design, aesthetics) to larger cultural narratives. Together, they explore how white women are socialized into “Sleeping Beauty” and “main character” frameworks—delusions that foster passivity, entitlement, and distorted views of desirability. From there, they interrogate purity culture and linguistic...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep46 | Communalism
Hey White Women
In this rich and emotionally resonant conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive deep into the intersections of community, capitalism, creativity, and healing. They explore how authentic relationships—both personal and professional—can serve as a foundation for meaningful work and social change. From profit-sharing models to communal living, from the trauma of systemic abuse to the joy of unexpected gifts, the episode is a tapestry of lived experience, vulnerability, and visionary thinking. The conversation organically weaves through topics like: The difference between...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | Episode 45 | Paperwork Privilege & More
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella weave between personal stories, cultural critique, and nuanced discussions of race, privilege, and community building. Daniella shares her upcoming RV book tour, the planning quirks of packing crafting supplies, and the deliberate choice to travel through Canada to avoid unsafe environments in the U.S. The conversation pivots into an exploration of “paperwork privilege,” contrasting how bureaucratic systems treat white people versus Black people, and the mental toll of anticipating discrimination even when no harm occurs. They address audience...
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Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer Episode 44 | Community is inconvenient
Hey White Women
In this rich, wide-ranging conversation, Daniella and Rebecca reflect on systems of power, whiteness, deconstruction, and community. They begin by discussing "front-of-room advantage"—how audiences are conditioned to trust authority figures just because they're positioned at the front. This leads into critiques of white supremacy, especially how it shapes comfort, trust, and the way people engage with authority, learning, and community. They emphasize that community is inconvenient—it requires work, discomfort, and relationship with those who challenge you. Daniella speaks from her...
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Episode 43 | Detangling White Supremacy
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about power, privilege, whiteness, and the dynamics of control in both personal and societal contexts. They share personal stories and cultural analysis to unpack how whiteness shapes perspective, behavior, and expectations; the illusion of confidence in white male leadership; and why fear of hypothetical harm dominates many white cultural narratives. The discussion explores the American Dream as a harmful myth rooted in capitalism and scarcity mindsets, and draws parallels between cult tactics and systemic control...
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Episode 42 | The Language of Systems
Hey White Women
This episode dives into the cultural and personal narratives around productivity, storytelling, and the illusion of being “caught up.” Rebecca and Daniella explore the language we use—like “caught up,” “trappings of success,” and “by the book”—and unpack how these phrases reveal underlying systems of control and whiteness. They discuss the tension between wanting to create art and resisting the structures that commodify it, the permanence (and pressure) of publishing books versus the fluidity of online work, and the ways capitalism and cult-like systems shape our ideas of...
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Episode 41 | George Washington Didn't Have Wooden Teeth
Hey White Women
In this fiery, funny, and no-holds-barred conversation, Rebecca and Daniella go deep on why everything in America feels like a cult. From MLMs to marathons, publishing to patriotism, they expose the unspoken systems that keep us exhausted, competitive, and obedient. Together, they unpack the cult of white womanhood, the lie of the silver bullet of success, and the performance of exceptionalism that so many white institutions demand. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here....
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Episode 40 | Is Whinnie the Pooh A WS Cult?
Hey White Women
In this candid and wide-ranging conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young unpacks how cult dynamics shape everyday life—from the military to motherhood, from corporate jargon to childhood punishments over “scowling at the Word of God.” She and Rebecca dig into the subtle and overt ways white supremacy trains white women into compliance and calls it safety. Daniella also breaks down the coded messages in American media—including her darkly hilarious theory that Winnie the Pooh is a cult. Through stories of her upbringing, military career, and anti-racism work, Daniella helps listeners...
info_outlineIn this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of identity, perception, and the societal expectations placed on individuals, particularly in the context of race and gender. They discuss the nuances of expertise, the burden of proof faced by marginalized voices, and the armor people wear to navigate societal pressures. The dialogue delves into the dynamics of community, the impact of white supremacy, and the importance of embracing diverse narratives without the need for validation from others.
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJI
Takeaways
- There's a fear to be had of these black spaces.
- Defensiveness is a tenant of white supremacy.
- White women are the men of women.
- You expect certain things from those closest to you.
- It shouldn't have to be this hard.
- You can use whiteness as a shield.
- We need to talk about the trauma.
- You think I'm going to give you the formula in 10 minutes?
- I am not a dictionary. I have expertise.
- The dynamics of enabling and abuse are complex. Perception often overshadows reality in social interactions.
- Expertise is frequently questioned based on identity rather than merit.
- The burden of proof can disproportionately affect marginalized individuals.
- Armor is a metaphor for the protective identities people adopt in society.
- Cults create a false sense of superiority and control over narratives.
- Community support is crucial for validating experiences and identities.
- Neurodivergence can complicate social interactions and expectations.
- Critiques of white supremacy can be misconstrued as personal attacks.
- Understanding one's own biases is essential for personal growth.
- Embracing nuance allows for a richer understanding of diverse experiences.
Chapters
00:00 Navigating Whiteness and Black Spaces
03:27 Defensiveness and Its Implications
06:23 The Complexity of Feminism and Race
09:21 Understanding the Role of White Women in Systems of Power
12:18 Language, Shame, and Cultural Sensitivity
15:03 The Dynamics of Enabling and Abuse
18:01 The Personal Impact of Systemic Oppression
21:09 Healing and Accountability in White Feminism
28:32 Understanding Privilege and Responsibility
31:09 Deconstructing Whiteness and Its Impact
34:21 The Complexity of Identity and Experience
39:15 The Perception of Criminality and Redemption
42:14 Navigating Online Interactions and Defensiveness
55:00 The Nuances of Critique and Community Support
58:39 Navigating Perceptions and Misunderstandings
01:01:12 Cultural Dynamics and Language Barriers
01:04:12 The Burden of Whiteness and Main Character Energy
01:07:41 Deconstructing Armor and Identity
01:10:45 Perception vs. Reality in Professional Spaces
01:16:49 The Complexity of White Saviorism
01:19:50 American Exceptionalism and Cult MentalityProduced by Haley Phillips