284 - The Truth About Lies

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Jill offers up a short and sweet but also vulnerable discussion this week on Be YOU – not because she is talking about heartbreak or grief but because she is talking about something that so many of us do but are ironically often dishonest about, even to ourselves: lying. She isn't talking about the “double life” kind of lies but rather the seemingly harmless white lies – telling your hairdresser that you love your 'do even when you actually hate it or telling someone you'll attend something when you don't really want to.

Listen in as Jill gets real about some of the little lies that she has told over the decades, especially ones that she told to protect other people's feelings or avoid conflict or unpleasant confrontation. As will likely ring familiar to many listeners, Jill wasn't lying out of a place of manipulation but rather out of a place of fear – afraid of not being liked or of disappointing someone.

The purpose of this episode of the show is not to pass judgment on those who frequently find themselves telling similarly motivated white lies but rather to call attention to it and examine why so many of us do it. These lies can eventually stack up to the point at which we are no longer being our authentic selves, which is a tragic betrayal of our own selves.

Jill also talks listeners through how to gently and lovingly call someone out when you see the dishonesty on the other end. Again, the purpose is not to pass judgment or shame but rather to open up a conversation in which both parties are invited to be fully transparent and honest, so if you have ever told a white lie to keep the peace (and let's face it – we pretty much all have at one point in time or another) or if someone in your life keeps dodging the truth, then this episode is definitely for you!

Show Notes:

[01:15] - Jill used to tell small, protective lies because she feared hurting others.
[03:01] - Jill has realized that lying for her has stemmed from fear, disconnection, and a lack of trusting herself.
[06:32] - Avoidance often masks itself as dishonesty.
[09:34] - Hear how you can love someone and still address dishonesty without judgment or shame.
[12:15] - Before confronting others about their dishonesty, practice honesty with yourself via reflection or even empty chair work.

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