287 - Pruning Your Plants AND Your Life

Join Jill for the five-year anniversary of Be YOU - a special live podcast event celebrating 300 episodes of the podcast - on Saturday, October 25th from 1–5 p.m. in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Tickets are selling fast at jillherman.com/beyou, and discounted rooms are available at a boutique hotel right next door!

Jill spends time this week exploring over-giving and the importance of pruning relationships and commitments in your life, sharing personal experiences when she realized that she had been giving too much of herself to certain people and businesses without receiving the same level of attention in return. She likens this idea to tending a garden when she had neglected her own container garden and allowed it to become overgrown. Just as the flowers were "begging to be pruned," she realized that in her own life, certain relationships and obligations were draining her energy.

Jill shares examples of reaching out to a business only to be disappointed when they declined to sponsor her event, and she reflects on family relationships in which she felt the giving was one-sided. In these cases, she decided that it was time to cut away the excess and focus her time and energy on more reciprocal relationships. On the other hand, though, she also shares a story of a friendship in which she initially felt hurt by a lack of reciprocation, but upon further reflection, she realized that her friend was actually kind in other ways. This realization allowed her to let go of the resentment and appreciate the relationship for what it was.

Ultimately, Jill is discussing the importance of self-care and being more particular with your time and energy, encouraging listeners to take inventory of their relationships and commitments and to have the courage to prune away the ones that are draining rather than nourishing. She suggests this can be a powerful act of self-love and kindness, allowing you to show up more fully for the people who truly matter!

Show Notes:

[01:29] - Even though ​giving feels natural and joyful, Jill has realized that it's quietly draining when rarely reciprocated.
[05:30] - Jill reflects on how it hurt when generosity wasn’t returned, revealing that she subconsciously hoped for appreciation in exchange.
[07:15] - Eventually, even pure-hearted giving begs the question: will they ever give back?
[09:12] - Jill admits to having misjudged one friend and also finally stopped chasing a family member.
[11:12] - Support can come from surprising places, like a childhood friend who buys ten VIP tickets.
[12:56] - After giving a company $200K in business, their refusal to sponsor Jill truly stung.
[15:29] - After some deep reflection, Jill chose to stop supporting those who never truly showed up in return.
[17:25] - Without pruning, everything weakens, and offshoots drain the flowers just like distractions drain us.
[19:57] - Jill argues that by trimming relationships and distractions, we protect our energy and grow into our full potential.
[22:28] - Sometimes, the kindest thing that you can do is to unapologetically withdraw.
[24:23] - True self-honesty means examining everything (relationships, habits, even screen time) and deciding on what needs to go.
[25:20] - Don’t forget about the upcoming Be YOU event in October!

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