302 - Hijacking or Being Heard? How to Know the Difference

Join Jill this week as she discusses the difference between someone feeling truly heard versus someone hijacking a group setting. She uses the example of a Zoom call in which two participants dominated the conversation, going on lengthy tangents instead of following the facilitator's instructions. Jill offers the possibility that such behavior is not meant to be malicious and discusses some possible reasons for it, including nervous system dysregulation, ego protection, and general lack of self-awareness.

As the leader of a group, Jill stresses the importance of politely yet firmly redirecting someone who is monopolizing time and energy in order to maintain the structure of the container for the entire group, and she provides some specific suggestions for how to handle these situations with compassion. Jill also touches on the holiday season quickly approaching and promises to share tools and strategies in an upcoming episode to help listeners navigate family dynamics and personal boundaries during this time of year!

She also spends a little bit of time discussing the recent in-person BeYOULive event which was the 300th episode of the podcast. She describes how she forgot to give away two of the raffle prizes at the event and reveals the winners in this episode of the show! After spinning the virtual prize wheel, Jill announces the winners of the 5-month house cleaning service and the $1,500 dinner at her favorite local restaurant!

Also, don’t forget - Jill will be hosting an upcoming retreat - the More of Me retreat - offering a deep dive into self-discovery. Head to jillherman.com for more details!

Show Notes:

[01:27] - Jill emphasizes the fact that her podcast centers on self-worth and has naturally evolved into mostly solo episodes.
[03:31] - Jill reflects on having hosted her recent first ever live event.
[06:55] - Jill announces prize winners from the recent BeYOULive event!
[9:00] - Popular Be YOU merch, especially the green sweatshirts, will be sold through an upcoming boutique collaboration!
[11:19] - Hear Jill read a recent glowing review from a listener.
[12:44] - Jill is contrasting being heard with hijacking a space after witnessing two men dominate their introductions in a Zoom meeting.
[15:11] - Jill suggests that over-talking can stem from nervous-system dysregulation masquerading as control.
[18:10] - Jill explains that performative over-talking often reflects insecurity, masking a need to feel relevant.
[20:51] - Grounded people share concisely, unlike those compensating through dominance.
[22:45] - Jill argues that leaders need to gently interrupt rambling participants to protect the group’s structure.
[25:11] - An effective leader prioritizes the group’s container over one person’s comfort or ego.
[27:37] - Jill suggests that if the facilitator won’t reestablish structure, you can respectfully interrupt to save time.
[30:33] - Jill previews some upcoming lessons on aging, boundaries, and taking on holiday pressures with self-confidence.

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