Ep. 229: Boosting a Child’s Autonomy with Self-Care Routines with Kristin Lombardi, MA, BCBA & Christine Drew, PhD, BCBA-D

For this episode of Diverse Thinking Different Learning, we are excited to welcome two guests - Kristin Lombardi, MA, BCBA and Christine Drew, PhD, BCBA-D! Kristin Lombardi, MA, BCBA, is a behavior analyst specializing in helping children and families build independent living skills through her private practice in Locust Valley, New York. With expertise in special education, psychology, and behavior analysis, Kristin supports individuals from early childhood through young adulthood, customizing her approach to a range of developmental and support needs.

Dr. Christine Drew, PhD, BCBA-D, is an Assistant Professor of Special Education at Auburn University, where she teaches both graduate and undergraduate students. She is involved in Auburn’s inclusive higher education program for students with intellectual disabilities, and before transitioning to academia, she led a middle school behavior program, gaining hands-on experience in supporting students with diverse needs.

We touch upon topics in this episode such as how parents and educators can help children with learning challenges develop real independence rather than unintentionally reinforcing dependence. Kristin and Christine are the co-authors of Spectrum of Independence, and they discuss the shift from focusing on deficits to recognizing potential. They challenge the common instinct to always step in and do things for children, explaining why that approach, while well meaning, can actually hold them back.

The conversation offers some practical strategies that are grounded in behavioral science, including how to break down complex tasks into small, achievable steps. They share real-life success stories, illustrating how small changes can ultimately lead to big transformations. Whether it's brushing teeth, getting dressed, or prepping for college, helping them become more independent starts with small, everyday moments.

Parents who worry that they’ve waited too long to start are sure to find reassurance and a clear starting point, with this discussion also highlighting the role of the home environment in reinforcing new skills and making independence a natural part of daily life.

With a focus on empowerment over enablement, this episode offers a thoughtful, science-backed guide for anyone supporting a neurodivergent child on the path to greater autonomy!

 
Show Notes:

[2:33] - Hear how Kristin realized the need to bridge the gap between K-12 and inclusive higher education.
[3:44] - Christine explains how students with neurodiversity struggle with independence in college due to not having early prep.
[6:39] - Hear how a parent mistakenly believed that her child was independent with medication, unaware of her hidden support.
[9:09] - Kristin and Christine wrote Spectrum of Independence to help parents fade out support from early childhood.
[12:08] - Some students rely on parental presence for routines, making college independence difficult.
[14:03] - Many parents lack access to therapists, so the book guides them in teaching life skills to their children.
[17:06] - The book focuses on daily routines and the importance of developing skills early.
[19:13] - Christine explains how to break down complex routines into steps, making skill-building easier.
[22:43] - Breaking tasks down into smaller steps is common in education but overlooked at home.
[23:04] - Kristin stresses the need for teaching self-care skills at home rather than relying solely on schools.
[25:01] - Christine warns against creating dependency by always assisting children instead of helping them gain independence.
[27:15] - Neurotypical children develop independence early, while those with developmental disabilities may require more parental involvement.
[28:24] - Parents should gradually reduce their assistance, as sudden independence can be overwhelming.
[30:58] - Teaching children to plan ahead for privacy after showering is very important for independent living.
[33:45] - It is never too late to teach independence, but prerequisite skills must be developed first.
[34:58] - Christine emphasizes starting small by focusing on one daily routine to gradually build independence.

Links and Related Resources:

• Episode 83: What Students with Disabilities Should Do When Starting College with Eric Endlich, Ph.D

• Episode 125: Does Your Teen Need a Transition Assessment? with Dr. Gwen Palafox

• Kristin Lombardi & Christine Drew - Spectrum of Independence: How to Teach Your Neurodiverse Child Daily Life Skills

 

Connect with Us:

• Get on our Email List

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• Register for Our Self-Paced Mini Courses: Support for Parents Who Have Children with ADHD, Anxiety, or Dyslexia

 

Connect with the Guests: 

• Spectrum of Independence Website