4064 What If The Problem Isn't Your Spouse?

Release Date: 05/16/2026

4064 What If The Problem Isn't Your Spouse?

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

When tensions escalate, and all you feel is defensive, it's easy to point fingers rather than look in the mirror. Marriage takes intentional decisions with love at the root of all actions. But what if the problem isn't your spouse? Maybe what’s missing or what’s blocking your marriage from thriving is something inside of you. Marriage isn’t a passive ride. It’s an ongoing, intentional commitment that demands honest work, with love as the foundation for every decision and action. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . And that means owning...

4063 Opening Doors for What Comes Next

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Raising incredible children means more than just meeting today’s needs—it’s about paving a path and opening doors for what comes next. When you consistently blend unconditional love sprinkled with discipline and resilience, you’re not just shaping behavior; you’re cultivating purpose. Think about it: You’re opening doors for your child to step confidently into every season of life ahead. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Imagine your child living fully as the person God created them to be. This vision doesn’t just happen. It...

4062 Impossible No More

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Rarely does life follow the script we write in our heads. Plans derail, obstacles pop up, and sometimes it feels like someone or something is playing a twisted joke just to test how much you can take. But here’s the thing: you’re letting the challenges tell a story that isn’t true. Impossible is just a word, not a fact. Impossible no more. Most days, things won’t go the way you planned—and that’s exactly where the opportunity lives. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . You want to talk blessings? They don’t come wrapped in neat,...

4061 Train Like You Mean It

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Take a deep breath. Inhale the new, exhale the old. Don’t let what you think you can’t do get in the way of what you can do to create your now. Train like you mean it. Most people quit before they even start. The voice in your head whispers limits, fears, and doubts. “You’re not strong enough. You don’t have enough time. You won’t see results.” That voice? It’s your biggest obstacle. Stop listening. Start doing. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Training—whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional—is a commitment. It...

4060 A Little Bit of Love

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

We live in a world that often feels like it’s spinning too fast, demanding more than we can give, pulling our attention in every direction but inward. It’s easy to get stuck reacting to the noise around us, to the pressures and expectations flying at us like relentless waves. But what if the real anchor isn’t out there—it’s right here, inside you? What if the difference between feeling overwhelmed and feeling whole is simply giving yourself a little bit of love? This isn’t about knowing everything or having those perfect moments. It’s about the quiet practice of compassion toward...

4059 Ask the Hard Questions to Get the Honest Answers

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Life’s noise and distractions are relentless. When you pause, even for a moment, you might notice that your mind is cluttered, not with what truly matters, but with trivial nagging thoughts and surface-level worries. Those persistent little things hammering at your head and heart don’t deserve the space. What you really need is to dig deeper and ask the hard questions to get the honest answers. But most people don’t want to ask the hard questions because they secretly crave an easy escape. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Think about...

4058 The Story of Your Family

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

When you reflect on your life, where does your family fit in the grand story? Is God at the center of your family's narrative by genuine choice, or is His presence more a matter of convenience? The story of your family is not a ledger of right or wrong actions, successes or mistakes. Instead, it’s about whose you are—rooted firmly in God's divine connection—and how that shapes the way you show up for each other and for the world around you. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Whose Family Are You? The Bible makes it clear that our truest...

4057 Real is Greater Than Perfect

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Marriage is often painted as the ultimate partnership — two people becoming one, sharing everything, and fully supporting each other. The truth is, too many spouses lose sight of themselves along the way. We start doing everything our partner wants: changing how we dress, altering how we act in public, shelving our own dreams for theirs, meeting their needs while our own are quietly ignored. Somewhere between “I do” and “we,” we forget that real > perfect. Dating was different. We were curious, eager to discover everything about our partner, putting our best foot...

4056 Ditch the Mom Guilt

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Mom guilt is a beast nobody warns you about until you’ve been swallowed whole by it. With Mother’s Day just ahead, it’s the perfect time to honor the tough, tireless job moms do raising the next generation. But let's be real and honest: more often than not, it stings more than we admit because the guilt feels like a weight on our hearts, drowning out the impact we want to have. Let it all go, and ditch the mom guilt. Because if you don't, mom guilt thrives when you take ownership of things that aren’t yours to carry. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women?...

4055 Build A Bridge

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Life rarely flows in a straight line. Sometimes you find yourself pulled in a dozen different directions, tangled in disappointments and setbacks, or simply unsure which step to take next. When that happens, the instinct to quit can be loud and tempting. But instead of throwing in the towel, it’s time to build a bridge. What does it mean to build a bridge this way in life? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . It’s about creating a path forward that connects you from where you are right now to where you want to be next. This isn’t about...

More Episodes

When tensions escalate, and all you feel is defensive, it's easy to point fingers rather than look in the mirror. Marriage takes intentional decisions with love at the root of all actions. But what if the problem isn't your spouse? Maybe what’s missing or what’s blocking your marriage from thriving is something inside of you.

Marriage isn’t a passive ride. It’s an ongoing, intentional commitment that demands honest work, with love as the foundation for every decision and action.

Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com

And that means owning your side of the story.

That’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. You might feel like you’re already giving all you’ve got—loving, forgiving, serving—yet things still stumble.

But that gap is often where self-reflection becomes a non-negotiable.

THOUGHTS: How do you handle tensions in your marriage now?

If you truly want a marriage that holds tight through storms—both the ones raging now and the ones yet to come—you have to be willing to do the toughest work there is: looking in the mirror with an unfiltered gaze and asking, “What role am I playing in this story?”

The K.I.S.S. ~ What is your role in the story!

Your story is being written every day! And you get to choose what character you play and the role you want to excel in.

You could be one who chooses to be the jerk in the relationship and push back on everything with the intention of proving you're right.

Or you could be the one who chooses to see all sides, takes in the moment, and accepts ownership for the actions and words to come.

Marriage is rough and beautiful all at the same time. Smooth the edges with love that flows from a heart healed, not hurt.

Three Steps to See Yourself and Shift Your Marriage

Own What You Can Control
You can’t change your spouse’s actions or feelings—but you can control your own. Shift your focus from what’s “wrong” with them to what’s within your power. This means noticing your reactions, your words, and how you show up emotionally. When frustration rises, ask yourself: Are my expectations realistic? Am I communicating clearly? The moment you take ownership here, you reclaim power and open the door to change.
Get Curious About Your Blind Spots
We all have them—patterns and behaviors we don’t see without an honest, sometimes painful, look. Maybe it’s your tone when you speak up, how you handle conflicts, or the way you shut down emotionally. Ask for feedback from your spouse, a trusted friend, or a coach. Listen without defending. That feedback might sting, but it’s the kindling for growth and connection. Seeing yourself clearly is the antidote to repeating the same fight over and over.
Commit to Consistent Self-Improvement
Change isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a daily commitment. Identify one behavior or mindset that’s sabotaging your peace. Then replace it—not just once, but repeatedly until it becomes your new normal. This could mean practicing patience, choosing forgiveness over resentment, or saying "thank you" aloud daily. Small, persistent shifts ripple out into huge transformations for your marriage.

Here’s the truth nobody else will say: Your marriage is your job. Not 50/50, but 100% ownership of your role in it—no excuses, no deflections.

When you lean into that responsibility, you become part of the solution, even if your spouse isn’t yet ready to do the same.

Your marriage deserves this fight. It’s worth every ounce of energy to craft a relationship rooted in connection, respect, and real, true love. Start with you—because the strongest marriages start from the inside out.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

🔔 Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com

TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will discuss your specific situation while gaining tools and strategies to move you forward. (https://form.jotform.com/62988215824163)

🙏 Create Your Now TV on Pray.com (https://pray.com)

🎥 Create Your Now on YouTube (https://youtube.com/createyournow)

🎧 Create Your Now on Spotify, Pandora, and Audible.

🎶 Create Your Now on iHeart Radio (http://www.iheart.com/show/263-Create-Your-Now-Your-Best/)

✍️ YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com

Instagram
@CreateYourNow
@KristianneWargo

Twitter
@KristianneWargo
@CreateYourNow

Facebook
www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach
www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow

Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

Photo by Canva.com

Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

http://www.mandisaofficial.com

Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

The K.I.S.S. ~ What is your role in the story!

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

TOPICS