4064 What If The Problem Isn't Your Spouse?

Release Date: 05/16/2026

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Life has a sneaky way of throwing curveballs. Sometimes, it feels like our dreams and our lives are at odds, each stealing time and energy from the other. You wake up one day, tired and discouraged because what you aimed for yesterday didn’t come through today—or maybe not last week, last month, or even last year. But what if the power of 'might be' keeps you going even if it took 15 years to reach the pinnacle of what you’re made for? You’re not alone if that sounds daunting. Most people give up somewhere along the way when the “now” doesn’t match the “dream.” Desire to be...

4086 But God...

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Sometimes, the loudest battles we fight are the ones no one else can see—but God. These battles rage in the quiet corners of our hearts and minds, behind the smiles we wear and the strength we show. These are the struggles we try to control, the fears we wrestle with, the outcomes we demand. And in the chaos of it all, we miss the main thing—but God is already in control. Here’s the thing most of us don’t get—we spend all our energy chasing what we want to control Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . We try to micromanage every...

4085 Find Freedom in Your Confession

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Most people hear the word “confession” and instantly think of shame, guilt, or secrets left buried. And when it comes to marriage, it’s easy to assume confessions only mean admitting mistakes or airing dirty laundry. But what if confession wasn’t just about revealing the bad or the hidden? What if confession was the key to unlocking freedom, deeper connection, and true intimacy with your spouse? You can find freedom in your confession. Marriage is a daily exercise in being known and accepted. Two people bring their fears, hopes, and imperfections into a shared life. Desire to be...

4084 Stop Waiting for the Applause

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

As parents, there’s an unspoken pressure to be seen as the best—whether it’s the parent with the most achievements, the most thoughtful gestures, or the most engaged family life. But at what cost does this spotlight come? Stop waiting for the applause. The truth is this: your main responsibility as a parent isn’t to rack up compliments or win approval. It’s to raise your children in a way that suits their unique needs, not your image. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . The Reality Check Ask most parents if they want the best for...

4083 Declare Your Worth

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

You know what’s tougher than changing your circumstances? Changing your perspective. But sometimes, that’s exactly what you need. Because while you can’t always control what happens, you always control how you choose to see it; declare your worth. Think about the voice inside your head—the one that runs the nonstop commentary about you, your life, your struggles. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . That voice? It’s not just noise. It’s the foundation of your identity. Over time, the stories you repeat become who you believe you...

4082 Hope in the Ashes

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

When the struggles and troubles jump out on the page more than the small acts of kindness and compassion, your emotions can become entangled with what has happened, instead of what this makes possible. Life will not be easy, but you can find refreshment in the CRAP (challenges, rejections, adversities, and problems) of life; it's hope in the ashes. And not just foggy, warm, fuzzy feelings that you think all will be okay. But the real deal of hope that something better is around the corner. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . And here’s the...

4081 Aim Beyond the Easy Win

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

When the road ahead is rough, dotted with obstacles and unknown twists, rather than smooth paths lined with roses and rainbows, it can be tempting to settle for the easier option. But choosing what’s convenient today often just fast-tracks the stalling of the real progress you want tomorrow. Aim beyond the easy win. Life’s best achievements aren’t born from comfort zones. They come from pushing past what feels safe or simple—rejecting the magnetic pull of what’s familiar and within arm’s reach. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . ...

4080 The Quiet Work that Creates Loud Success

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

It’s a story as old as ambition itself. Everyone wants to get ahead, accomplish big things, and build the life they crave. Yet, the truth is simple, profound, and often the most challenging: What makes the biggest difference is the quiet work that creates loud success. It's the progress that happens in the quiet spaces where no one else is looking. It’s the grind that goes unseen—the early mornings you’re not tweeting about, the late nights where the world is asleep, and you’re wide awake pushing past limits. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us...

4079 Walk in the Overflow

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

In a world obsessed with control, hustle, and having all the answers, it’s easy to feel drained, inadequate, or endlessly chasing something just out of reach. Everywhere you turn, the message screams: “You must figure it out. You have to have a plan. You need to produce or you’ll be left behind.” But if you’re tired of spinning your wheels, worn out by pressure, and desperate for a life that isn’t fueled by stress and striving, there’s a deeper invitation waiting for you. It’s an invitation to walk in the overflow that only God can provide. John 15:5 (NIV): "I am the vine;...

4078 The Reality of Exhaustion in Marriage

Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo

Marriage is no walk in the park or a gentle stroll. It can become a constant grind that can wear you down until you’re barely holding on. Maybe you've experienced moments when you look at your spouse and wonder: How do I keep showing up for them when I feel completely tapped out? When life’s demands have drained your energy and the reality of exhaustion in marriage has struck, how do you find that next gear to love better and support deeper? Between work pressures, household responsibilities, parenting, managing bills, and trying to maintain some semblance of personal sanity, marriage can...

More Episodes

When tensions escalate, and all you feel is defensive, it's easy to point fingers rather than look in the mirror. Marriage takes intentional decisions with love at the root of all actions. But what if the problem isn't your spouse? Maybe what’s missing or what’s blocking your marriage from thriving is something inside of you.

Marriage isn’t a passive ride. It’s an ongoing, intentional commitment that demands honest work, with love as the foundation for every decision and action.

Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com

And that means owning your side of the story.

That’s uncomfortable. It’s hard. You might feel like you’re already giving all you’ve got—loving, forgiving, serving—yet things still stumble.

But that gap is often where self-reflection becomes a non-negotiable.

THOUGHTS: How do you handle tensions in your marriage now?

If you truly want a marriage that holds tight through storms—both the ones raging now and the ones yet to come—you have to be willing to do the toughest work there is: looking in the mirror with an unfiltered gaze and asking, “What role am I playing in this story?”

The K.I.S.S. ~ What is your role in the story!

Your story is being written every day! And you get to choose what character you play and the role you want to excel in.

You could be one who chooses to be the jerk in the relationship and push back on everything with the intention of proving you're right.

Or you could be the one who chooses to see all sides, takes in the moment, and accepts ownership for the actions and words to come.

Marriage is rough and beautiful all at the same time. Smooth the edges with love that flows from a heart healed, not hurt.

Three Steps to See Yourself and Shift Your Marriage

Own What You Can Control
You can’t change your spouse’s actions or feelings—but you can control your own. Shift your focus from what’s “wrong” with them to what’s within your power. This means noticing your reactions, your words, and how you show up emotionally. When frustration rises, ask yourself: Are my expectations realistic? Am I communicating clearly? The moment you take ownership here, you reclaim power and open the door to change.
Get Curious About Your Blind Spots
We all have them—patterns and behaviors we don’t see without an honest, sometimes painful, look. Maybe it’s your tone when you speak up, how you handle conflicts, or the way you shut down emotionally. Ask for feedback from your spouse, a trusted friend, or a coach. Listen without defending. That feedback might sting, but it’s the kindling for growth and connection. Seeing yourself clearly is the antidote to repeating the same fight over and over.
Commit to Consistent Self-Improvement
Change isn’t a one-time fix; it’s a daily commitment. Identify one behavior or mindset that’s sabotaging your peace. Then replace it—not just once, but repeatedly until it becomes your new normal. This could mean practicing patience, choosing forgiveness over resentment, or saying "thank you" aloud daily. Small, persistent shifts ripple out into huge transformations for your marriage.

Here’s the truth nobody else will say: Your marriage is your job. Not 50/50, but 100% ownership of your role in it—no excuses, no deflections.

When you lean into that responsibility, you become part of the solution, even if your spouse isn’t yet ready to do the same.

Your marriage deserves this fight. It’s worth every ounce of energy to craft a relationship rooted in connection, respect, and real, true love. Start with you—because the strongest marriages start from the inside out.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage

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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

Photo by Canva.com

Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

http://www.mandisaofficial.com

Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

The K.I.S.S. ~ What is your role in the story!

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

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