4175 Nerves Mean You Care

Have you ever laid awake at night replaying a moment from your day — a sharp word, a missed cue, a decision you second-guessed the moment it left your mouth? If that knot in your stomach feels all too familiar, then you need to know that those nerves mean you care. And caring is not a weakness. It's the heartbeat of a mother who loves deeply and wants to show up well for her family.

We live in a world that hands us an impossible checklist. The parenting books say one thing. The experts say another. Your family and in-laws have their opinions, your best friend has hers, the school sends home its expectations, and somewhere in the middle of all that noise, you're also trying to honor what the Bible says about raising children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6).

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Every direction you turn, somebody has a standard, and the unspoken message is the same: get it right, all of it, all the time.

But here's the confession we need to sit with today — we can't.

We cannot do everything right all the time. We are going to lose our patience at the dinner table. We are going to forget the permission slip. We are going to raise our voice when we meant to lower it, or stay silent when our kids needed us to speak up. And in those moments, the guilt creeps in fast. It sits heavy in our chest, and it whispers that we are failing.

I need you to push back on that whisper.

Making a mistake does not make you less than as a parent. It makes you human. And the very fact that you feel something — that twist in your gut, that ache behind your eyes — is proof that your heart is invested. A mother who doesn't care doesn't lose sleep. A mother who doesn't care doesn't wonder if she handled it the right way. The nerves, the worry, the replaying — those are not signs of failure. They are signs of a woman who takes her role seriously and wants to steward it with love.

Romans 8:1 reminds us, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

Paul was writing about his falling short and trying to live up to what God desires. But "therefore..." is the stop-the-presses moment reminding him that God is in control and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. 

So when it comes to the burnt dinner, the raised voice, the moment you chose wrong — God does not stand over you with a scorecard. He stands beside you with grace, and He already knew you would need it.

So what do you do with all of this? How do you handle the nerves? How do you stop letting the nerves eat you alive and start letting them point you toward growth?

Let the nerves guide you, not define you.

The K.I.S.S. ~ Let the nerves guide you!

Those nerves mean you care deeply. And that's a good thing. And it's also a reminder that you're human. We need to remember that we're not invincible know-it-alls.

What does it look like in real life?

1. Name what you're feeling and be grateful. The next time that pit forms in your stomach, pause before you spiral. Say it out loud: "I feel this because I care." Then thank God that He gave you a heart tender enough to feel conviction. That tenderness is a gift, not a punishment. Letting yourself acknowledge the feeling without attaching shame to it changes everything.

2. Replace the highlight reel with the real reel. Stop measuring your motherhood against someone else's curated version. The mom at school drop-off who looks like she has it together? She has her own 2 a.m. replays. Choose one woman in your life this week and have an honest conversation about a moment you didn't get right. Vulnerability breaks the cycle of isolation, and you will almost always find that she has her own confession waiting to come out.

3. Apologize and move forward — without setting up camp in the guilt. If you snapped, say you're sorry. If you missed something, own it. But then move. Guilt that leads to change is conviction, and that's holy. Guilt that leads to paralysis is condemnation, and that's not from God. Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They need a mom who shows them what it looks like to get back up, say "I'll try again," and mean it.

Your nerves are not your enemy. They are the evidence that you are all in.

"Every knot in your stomach is a love letter to the child you are fighting to raise well. You will not get it right every time, and that is okay — because perfection was never the assignment. Faithfulness is." ~ Kristianne Wargo

And a faithful mama who feels deeply, does the best she can, owns her mistakes, and keeps showing up? And that speaks volumes.

"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"

 

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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson

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Music by Mandisa - Overcomer

http://www.mandisaofficial.com

Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music - 
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.