4218 Making Room for Us
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
The love is real. You know you love him. But somewhere between the school pickups, the dinner, dishes, and dogs, and the dozen things on tomorrow’s list, you realize something unsettling. You have not actually been with him in days. Not really. You have been in the same house. Maybe even in the same room. But making room for us — for the two of you — has quietly slipped to the bottom of a list that never seems to end. And what gets pushed to the bottom eventually gets forgotten. That is not because you do not care. It is because life is loud. And marriage, by nature, is patient. It does...
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4217 She Gave Everything and Called It Love
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There’s a tiredness that sleep doesn’t fix. It’s not in your body — it’s in your soul. It’s the kind of exhaustion that shows up when you’ve been pouring and pouring and no one ever thought to ask if you were empty. You made breakfast, signed the permission slips, held the crying child, smiled through the chaos, late-night conversations — and when the house finally went quiet, you realized you had nothing left. Not for them. Not for yourself. Not for the woman you used to recognize. She gave everything and called it love — and you know her because you’ve been her or might...
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4216 Hold On To What You Cannot See
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Some seasons ask you to keep going when nothing around you looks any different. The bills are still there. The relationship still aches. The answer you’ve been praying for hasn’t shown up at your door with a bow on it; no overnight delivery. And somewhere in the quiet of another ordinary morning, you wonder if anything is actually happening at all. My friend — you can hold on to what you cannot see. Because the most important work rarely announces itself. It moves underground, in the places your eyes will never reach, building something your circumstances haven’t caught up to yet....
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4215 Don't Pick the Bud
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You see it happening. Something in you is shifting — the way you pray, the way you respond, the way you hold your peace when you used to lose it. There’s new growth forming in your spirit, and it’s real. But before you rush to show the world, before you post it, proclaim it, or perform it for an audience, don’t pick the bud. "The bloom’s beauty comes from its budded heart that has had time to become. You can’t rush what is not ready." ~ Kristianne Wargo Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #WellspringWednesday #CreateYourNow...
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4214 Put the Mask Down
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Pretending takes so much more energy than people realize. It’s not just one lie — it’s a thousand tiny adjustments every single day. You’ve been carrying it for a while now, haven’t you? That careful smile. That practiced answer — I’m good, I’m fine, everything’s great. And maybe you’ve gotten so good at wearing it that even you’ve started to believe it. But it’s time to put the mask down because you’re finally ready to be whole. Otherwise, you find youself adjusting your voice and your posture. You rearrange your face before you walk into the room. You swallow the...
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4213 The Weight of What-If
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You've done it before: lying awake at night replaying a conversation that hasn't happened yet, mapping out every worst-case scenario before getting out of bed. You've carried the weight of what-if, and you didn't even realize how heavy it was until you couldn't stand up straight anymore. Fear-based thinking doesn't always look like panic. Sometimes it looks like planning. What a concept! Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #MindsetMonday #CreateYourNow #PersonalDevelopment It's the mental rehearsal of everything that could go wrong —...
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4212 Before You Say A Word
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
You know that moment right before the words leave your mouth — your pulse is up, your thoughts are racing, and everything in you wants to say the thing. To set the record straight. To be heard. To fire back. But before you say a word, what if the most powerful thing you could do in that moment is nothing at all? What if the gap between the feeling and the speaking is actually one of the wisest places God has given you to stand? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #SweetSpirit #CreateYourNow #SoulfulSunday We live in a world that...
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4211 The Power of "I See You"
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Something powerful happens in a marriage when one person turns to the other and says, with quiet, deliberate presence — I see you. The power of “I see you” is not about fixing anything, solving a problem, or checking something off a list. It is about pausing long enough to notice the human being standing right in front of you. The one who shows up day after day, doing the things no one claps for. The one who carries burdens they have not fully named. When was the last time you looked at your spouse and let them know that who they are matters to you? Desire to be supported and...
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4210 The Myth of the Empty Vessel
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Somewhere along the way, somebody decided that the holiest version of motherhood looks like a woman who has nothing left. Pour out. Give more. Skip the meal. Skip the rest. Run yourself completely dry and call it faithfulness. And if you've ever whispered a prayer through clenched teeth because you had nothing left to give — then you've already bumped into the myth of the empty vessel. But today, you're dismantling it — because that myth was never God's design for you. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . #ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama...
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4209 Release What You Buried
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
There comes a point in every season where you have to stop and take an honest look at what you've been carrying. Not everything that weighed you down was meant to travel this far with you. And today, right here, right now — it's time to release what buried you. But some of what pressed you into the ground was soil. God placed it there with purpose. It was the covering you needed, so the seed inside you could crack open, stretch its roots, and begin to grow into something only He could design. Yet some of it was never soil at all. It was just weight. Dead weight. And you've been dragging it...
info_outlineYou can love your spouse deeply, consistently, and sincerely, yet they still feel unloved. This has nothing to do with doing it right or wrong; it's about speaking your love language instead of theirs. How you express love matters, especially when nobody is keeping score. So speak your spouse's language.
Most of us default to loving people the way we want to be loved. It makes sense. If words of encouragement fill your cup, you naturally pour words into your spouse. If you feel most connected through quality time, you assume sitting together on the couch is the ultimate act of devotion.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
But what if your spouse's cup has a completely different shape? What if the love you are pouring is spilling right over the edges because the container does not match?
This is not about doing more. It is about doing it differently.
Think about it this way. Imagine someone speaking to you passionately, urgently, with everything in them — but in a language you have never heard. You can see the effort. You can feel the emotion. But you cannot understand a single word. That is what happens in a marriage when two people are expressing love fluently — but in two completely different love languages.
Whether it is words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts, or physical touch — every person has a primary way they receive love. And your spouse's way may look nothing like yours.
Here is where it gets uncomfortable. It is not your spouse's job to translate your love into something they can feel. It is your job to learn how they hear it — and then love them that way on purpose.
That does not mean your way of loving is wrong. It means it is yours. And marriage is not about loving for yourself. It is about loving for the person standing next to you. Philippians 2:3–4 puts it plainly: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." That is the posture of a marriage that lasts. Not "here is what I need from you," but "tell me what love sounds like in your world, and I will learn to speak it."
Now, does that mean your needs do not matter? Absolutely not. This goes both ways. But someone has to go first. Someone has to be the one who stops assuming and starts asking. Why not let that someone be you?
And honestly? Most couples have never even had the conversation. You have been married for years — maybe decades — and you have never sat across from each other and said, "What makes you feel most loved by me?" We plan vacations. We talk about finances. We negotiate bedtimes and grocery lists. But we skip the one conversation that could change the temperature of our entire home.
"Love spoken in the wrong language still sounds like silence." ~ Kristianne Wargo
And silence in a marriage — especially an unintentional one — creates distance that nobody meant to build.
So how do we close that gap?
The K.I.S.S. ~ Learn to love fluently
What do you do fluently now? What is working and what is not?
If you are willing to experiment with how to love your spouse, it will strengthen your marriage from the bottom up.
1. CONVERSE with your spouse.
Ask your spouse directly: "What makes you feel most loved by me?" Do not assume you already know. Their answer might surprise you — and it will certainly guide you. Sit with it. Write it down if you need to. This is not a quiz. It is an invitation to know them more deeply than you did yesterday.
2. IDENTIFY your own love language and share it.
Marriage is a two-way street. Let your spouse know what fills your cup so they are not guessing either. When you both have the words for what you need, you stop playing a guessing game that nobody wins.
3. PRACTICE one deliberate act in your spouse's love language every day this week.
If their language is acts of service, handle something on their list without being asked. If it is words of affirmation, leave a note where they will find it. If it is physical touch, reach for their hand before they reach for yours. Small and consistent beats grand and occasional every time.
Fluency does not happen overnight. You are going to fumble. You are going to default back to your own language because it is comfortable and it is what you know. That is okay. Love is patient, love is kind — and love is also a practice. 1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that love does not insist on its own way. It does not keep a record of who did what first or who got it right. It just keeps showing up.
And that is all this is. Showing up — not with what is easy for you, but with what matters to your spouse.
Rainer Maria Rilke once wrote, "The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person's solitude."
Think about that for a moment. The highest form of love is not filling every silence or fixing every problem. Sometimes it is simply knowing your person well enough to give them exactly what their soul needs — even when it looks nothing like what yours would ask for.
That is fluency. That is what it means to speak your spouse's language.
QUESTION: What language has your spouse been speaking that you might have been missing? And what would it look like to answer them back in the one they actually hear?
You do not need a perfect plan. You need a willing heart and an open mouth.
- Willing to ask
- Willing to listen
- Willing to love differently than you have been loved before
Until next time — keep falling in love all over again.
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.