Episode 120: Panic, Pain, and Progress: One Man’s Fight for Mental Health

In this courageously shared episode, Brian vulnerably opens up about a lifelong struggle with panic, anxiety, and the deep nervousness that began in his early teens and followed him well into adulthood. He walks us through how this internal storm took shape—especially in his dating life—and how anxiety seemed to hijack his thoughts, body, and sense of self during intimate encounters and high-pressure moments. From his early teens, Brian recalls the early signs of spiraling thoughts and nervous energy that became familiar companions. What followed were experiences marked by intense rumination, thoughts of doom, a racing heart, excessive sweating, and a sense of mental fog that made it nearly impossible to speak in clear or coherent sentences. Although he didn’t know it was panic at the time, the emotional toll left him questioning whether his body would betray him again, whether every relationship was doomed, and whether he could ever feel safe in his own mind. He developed a painful narrative: relationships equal panic, panic equals pain, and pain equals failure—a story that repeated itself for over a decade. Brian also shares how this pattern extended beyond romance and into broader social interactions, fueling deep social anxiety. Over the years, he explored countless mental health resources, experimented with a range of coping mechanisms, and truly believed he had made significant progress. But the weight of his internal world continued to challenge him. Through raw honesty and reflection, Brian helps normalize the silent suffering that so many experience and yet seldom name. His key message to the listeners is to get out of your head, don't ruminate or let resistance take over, give yourself permission to let thoughts go, and turn the dial down -- you have that control, so much suffering comes from your thoughts alone — so to heal, take time to find ways to think different thoughts that run better patterns in your mind.