509-Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold
Delight Your Marriage
Eternal Marriage Mindset: Living Today for the Streets of Gold We get so caught up in the now—our needs, our feelings, our expectations—that we forget: this isn’t forever. And when it comes to your marriage, your mindset matters more than you know. What if the goal isn’t just earthly happiness… but eternal impact? Let’s shift our gaze from the temporary to the eternal—from trying to fix our spouse to faithfully loving them like Jesus. Because your marriage assignment? It impacts eternity. A Marriage Mindset That Reaches for Heaven If marriage is your god, you’ll do it your way....
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508-How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story
Delight Your Marriage
How Daily Habits Transformed His 36-Year Marriage: Harvey’s Story Marriage is holy work. Maybe you're reading this today because you're hoping your marriage will change. Maybe you're reading this because you've prayed, "Lord, please help my marriage," when really you mean "Lord, please help my spouse!" I hope this blog and episode will make you feel both comforted and inspired — that you’ll be reminded your marriage can change, not by grand gestures or perfect communication, but by small, faithful, daily habits of love. This is what Harvey discovered as well. That it wasn't grand...
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507-“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable
Delight Your Marriage
“Marriage First” Makes Your Life Unstable At the end of my life, I want to hear the words, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” That’s the goal that keeps me grounded—and I know many of you share that desire. But here’s a hard truth I’ve learned through years of walking with couples: when our marriage or family becomes our first priority instead of God, everything starts to crumble. Why “Family First” Doesn’t Work I once had a conversation with someone I deeply love who said, “You think God has to be first—but I think family should be first.” His heart was...
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506-How to Not Have an Affair: Interview with Gary Thomas
Delight Your Marriage
It doesn’t start with scandal. It often doesn't even start with feelings. It starts with a smile. A moment of connection. A conversation that feels easy—maybe easier than the ones you’ve been having at home. You walk away thinking, That was nothing. But somewhere deep down, you also know—it could become something. If that’s where you find yourself today (or even if you’ve seen the warning signs in someone you love), please take a deep breath. You’re not broken. You didn't marry the wrong person. You haven't done an irredeemable thing with no going back. You’re human. And this...
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505-How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story
Delight Your Marriage
How a Family Life Educator Took Her Marriage from Good to Great: Jen's Story Sometimes, the couples who join our programs aren’t on the brink of divorce. They aren’t fighting all the time. They actually have a good marriage. But deep down, they know it could be better. That’s exactly where Jen was when she found Delight Your Marriage. “We Had a Good Marriage… But I Knew It Could Be More” Jen and her husband had been married nearly 15 years. They had three young kids, a busy life, and no major marital crisis. As she put it, “We were not in conflict with each other. We didn’t...
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504-When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson
Delight Your Marriage
When Your Words Actually Bring Life (And How to Avoid Death): Interview With Ann & Dave Wilson Do you remember when you first fell in love—how easy it was to cheer him on? You’d light up at his stories. You’d say, “You’re amazing!” and mean it. You noticed everything good. But somewhere along the way, the cheers turned into corrections. The same man who once felt like your hero now feels like your project. And instead of applause, he mostly hears... boo. That’s what Ann Wilson discovered the day her husband, Dave, vulnerably told a room full of women that marriage sometimes...
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503-How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage
Delight Your Marriage
How a Farmer Learned to Lead & Love in His Marriage On the outside, Jake looked like a happy-go-lucky farmer. But inside, his marriage was falling apart. Control, years of infertility struggles, alcohol abuse, and pornography created a wall between him and his wife. Even counseling couldn’t break through the scar tissue of pain she carried. At one point, she said her willingness to work on the marriage was zero—she was ready to leave. Jake was out of options. Yet, in God’s kindness, what seemed like the worst day became the turning point. His confession of addiction cracked open the...
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502-How to Win an Argument: Interview with Dr. Kevin Downing
Delight Your Marriage
Arguments that spiral out of control often leave behind words no one meant and wounds that take time to heal. Escalation may feel like “getting it all out,” but according to our guest today, it is actually poison to a marriage. Dr. Kevin Downing, founder of Turning Point Counseling in Southern California, has spent decades helping couples, pastors, and families find healthier ways to connect. His insights on escalation, self-control, and parenting bring both biblical grounding and practical tools. Why Escalation Is “Pure Poison” That Often Leads to Divorce Research from Dr. John...
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501-Wage War Against Body Insecurity
Delight Your Marriage
Body obsession has been a toughy for me all my life. Wanting to be thin. Wanting to be beautiful. Wanting to fit into x size jeans. Wanting to see x on the scale. (The number of New Year's resolutions based on this makes me embarrassed.) And once I am triggered about thinking I'm not thin, I would eat to assuage those hard feelings. Or other hard feelings, I'd eat. Was it sin? Was it a sin, for ME? Let's put a pin in that thought. I think a major way the enemy tempts us nowadays is through distraction. Is distraction a sin? Well, if God has a will for our...
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500 Episodes! Your Influence & Joining DYM's in Our Next Decade
Delight Your Marriage
When I hit “record” on the very first Delight Your Marriage podcast 10 years ago, my mic stand was a Quaker Oats container. I had a dream, a story, and a hope that I thought could help others. I just had a few loaves and fishes to offer—with a world in need. Now—500 episodes later—we’ve seen Him do it: hundreds marriages restored in our programs directly, many thousands of families transformed through our podcast, lives healed all over the world. And yet, this milestone isn’t just about what God has done at Delight Your Marriage—it’s about what He wants to...
info_outline499-Sinful v. Holy Fierce Intimacy
I was confused.
There I was a new bride, having saved myself for marriage…
only to find out that my new husband wanted me to do SINFUL things.
Where did he get all this “inspiration” anyway?
Oh, I knew: sinful places.
So, of course, I refused. And of course, it brought mutual anger (covering each of our hurt).
What’s your story?
If it’s even remotely like mine, I needed to change the lens in which I was viewing sex.
I wasn’t viewing sex from a biblical standpoint.
I was viewing sex from a sexually perverted lens. (Even though I saved my sex for marriage, I certainly received messages from the world that perverted the purity and unashamedness that is meant to be in the bedroom.)
I was thinking about a sinful visual I had, at some point, encountered that I knew was wrong. Instead of recognizing the COMPLETELY different and HOLY context of my marriage, I decided the act was associated with my experience that was not God’s will.
Maybe you’ve gone through something profoundly tragic, if so, my heart goes out to you. And now you’re married and there are so many things that feel hard to move towards because of the past. There is hope. Hope for healing and even hope for desire.
Be washed by truth. That’s my aim in this conversation. That you will realize that our God is a God of intimacy and freedom in your marriage.
When you wash your mind with the truth of His design within the marriage bed, may you slowly wade (or dive in) into the waters of marital intimacy and find out it’s nice and warm (with your spouse 🙂 )
Biblical Sexual Boundaries: What God Says Clearly
God’s Word is not silent on sexuality. We’re called to flee sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18), honor marriage and keep the marriage bed pure (Hebrews 13:4), and rejoice in the wife (or husband) of our youth (Proverbs 5).
What does that mean practically? It means saying no to adultery, fornication, pornography, and lust outside of marriage. But it also means saying a big yes to intimacy within marriage.
God designed it. He delights in it. And He calls it holy.
Christian Sexual Freedom in Marriage
Here’s the good news: within the covenant of marriage, you are FREE. Passion, tenderness, variety—when it’s just the two of you, it’s not dirty or off-limits.
Too often, we add rules God never wrote. We act like Pharisees in the bedroom, burdening ourselves with shame. But Scripture doesn’t say you have to find every position or practice word-for-word in the Bible. It says to stay within God’s boundaries.
That’s it.
Inside those boundaries, freedom is His gift.
Masculine vs. Feminine Sexuality in God’s Design
I often talk about a helpful framework: feminine sexuality tends to be calming, connective, tender—while masculine sexuality is passionate, fierce, and energetic.
Neither is wrong! In fact, both are needed! But here’s the key: most wives won’t feel safe to enjoy masculine passion until the feminine is deeply honored.
Gentle connection lays the foundation for fierce intimacy. When both are present, intimacy becomes the oneness God intended.
One Flesh Marriage Meaning
When Scripture says the two become one flesh (Matthew 19:5), it’s not talking about shared bank accounts or chore charts. It’s talking about the mystery and beauty of sexual union.
That oneness is not only for procreation—it’s also for pleasure, connection, and spiritual unity.
You were designed to be “naked and unashamed.” That’s God’s original intention for your marriage.
Repentance and Sexual Purity
Here’s the challenge: what you consume shapes what you expect.
If your eyes are fixed on media that glamorizes lust, adultery, or pornography, your heart will follow. Jesus warned us—lust in the heart is adultery (Matthew 5:28).
But repentance is always available. God’s kindness leads us to turn back (Romans 2:4). His grace washes us clean and empowers us to start again. Inside His boundaries, intimacy is safe, holy, and life-giving.
Healing and Hope for Your Marriage Bed
If intimacy feels impossible for you—whether because of past sin, abuse, shame, or just exhaustion—please don’t give up.
You can heal.
You can rediscover joy.
You can learn how God wired you for intimacy, and how to give and receive love in your marriage bed.
I want you to know: fierce intimacy is possible, for men and women. And it is holy. Within God’s design, it’s not just permitted—it’s celebrated.
Final Thoughts
Friend, don’t let the enemy steal your freedom by pushing you into guilt—or into sin. God’s Word draws the boundaries, and inside them, He invites you to DELIGHT.
We are rooting for you.
Blessings,
The Delight Your Marriage Team
PS - Ready to take the next step? Schedule a free call with one of our Clarity Advisors today. This free Clarity Call will give you insight into the health of your marriage and your best next step. Whatever is hindering you from taking your next step, you are not too far gone. Sign up here for your free Clarity Call!
PPS - Need a little extra coaching on this whole holy fierce intimacy thing? Well, the timing could not be better! Our very own Belah Rose is a keynote speaker for Date Your Spouse's 2025 Sex Seminar. All the nitty-gritty questions, all the understanding and support. Check out this link to register for this seminar and catch not only Belah's teaching, but other intimacy experts as well! 🔥 (Want to catch up on the Sex Seminars from previous years? You got it. Click here to register for access for this year's panel AND previous years!)
PPPS - Here is a quote from a recent graduate:
"Before DYM, there was a lot of tension and stress in our marriage and disconnect. My husband had affairs and these were replayed constantly in my head even though one of them occurred 25 years ago... After going through the program, the stress is gone... I told him I have forgiven him and intimacy is something I desire now and enjoy with my husband. We are both so much happier in our marriage! I have also started back on my spiritual journey with God, that I have been away from for many years."