333: Great marriage but romance FADING? How do our traits OVERLAP? Are PSYCH meds EVER worth it?
Release Date: 06/13/2024
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the US Presidential Election and what to consider if you are distraught or if you are celebrating the results of President Trump being elected. Also, Dr. Lisle discusses the concept of morality – what is it? Is it innate? Is it taught? 1. Dr. Lisle weighs in on what to consider about the US Presidential election 2. If morality requires us to act against our psychology, which is impossible, does morality exist? Teasers 0:00 Intro 1:38 Opening...
info_outline E344 (343 Pt 2) How can Gay Genes stay in the population without offspring?Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's Part 2 from episode 343, Dr. Lisle discusses a potential explanation for why homosexuality persists in the population despite homosexuals having fewer children. 1. I understand that the very basis of natural selection is transmission and expression of genes - basically we are all evolved to pass as many of our successful genes into the population, and that the characteristics and behavior of the organism is evolved to promote this goal. However, how does that explain the...
info_outline E343 Pt 1: Can you breed higher Intelligence into society?Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle explains how genes are passed on through generations and just how complex and interdependent they are. However, sometimes this can lead to the mistaken belief that societies can easily breed certain traits into or out of their population. 1. Dr lisle you've often mentioned that we cannot get intelligent people to breed for generations and give rise to a population whose average IQ is higher than the current avg IQ i.e. china/singapore tried to experiment...
info_outline 342: The EGO TRAP – when expectations are too high, motivation suffersBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle’s discusses a term called The Ego Trap in the context of the following listener question: 1. Do you think Lebron James is ego-trapping his son Bronny? He has tweeted that Bronny is going to do extremely well he just needs a bit of time, but in reality the kid looks like he’s not even cut out for the D-League. I know there’s something to be said of Lebron’s status and influence in the league when it comes to decision-making, but I wonder what will come...
info_outline Evolutionary MISMATCH is everywhere – work, academia, retirementBeat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss the following listener questions about evolutionary mismatch at work, academia, and retirement. 1. I was on straight energy conservation mode for years at work. Putting in minimum effort and getting poor performance reviews. I hated it but for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to get my motivation on board. Then I listened to you for years and over time bits of the pieces of the puzzle started coming together. Ultimately, I realized what I...
info_outline 340: The TRUTH about Social Anxiety – are extroverts really the outliers?Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss different questions on social anxiety and finish with a short question about dating. 1. Is there a social strategy that involves not competing in an effort not to be seen as a threat? I am a woman and believe I notice in myself a tendency to make myself small around other women. I do this in interactions with women who are both more and less attractive than I am. I have lately come to believe the result is often that they dismiss me as not interesting or...
info_outline 339: Disagreeable people blame trauma for their circumstances.Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. Question 1: I had a very traumatic childhood, but I don't blame my experiences with my violent alcoholic mother for any of my stupid adult decisions. I did those all on my own -- with some help from my parents' genes, of course. What Dr. Lisle teaches on this topic makes sense to me. I have a friend who, by any measure, had a much less traumatic childhood. In fact, I don't think it is fair to say that her childhood was traumatic at all. There weren't any drugs or...
info_outline 338: A MARRIED man tried to KISS me! Wanting to Fall in Love AGAIN – What's my mind telling me?Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. Intro 0:00 Question #1: 0:30 I have been with the same man for 13 years (since I was 19) and we have 2 children together. Though we have had our ups and downs and areas of incompatibility I believe our relationship is good, I love our family and want it to continue. However there is a part of me that wishes to fall in love with someone new again and feels regret about committing to someone when I was so young. What I don’t understand is the several times we’ve had a...
info_outline 337: I’m RICH but I DIDN’T EARN it – Can I EVER be HAPPY? Should I be CONCERNED about all the NEGATIVITY in the news?Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. Question 1: How do I get back to being happy with so much violence and negativity swirling around in the news and in the world? No matter what has been going on in my life, I have always tended to be happy and optimistic, but recently it feels like everything seems pretty bleak in the world and it is bringing me down. I truly don't have any reason to be unhappy- I am part of a magic 10% marriage, I have a good job and great friends and make good money, and truly, want for nothing, but I...
info_outline 336: Having SECOND THOUGHTs about fiancé – Should I marry anyway? Is waiting until MARRIAGE a TRAP?Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss staying a virgin until marriage, and what to consider when having second thoughts before marrying. 1. I am a 32 year old female, Catholic and I want to wait until marriage to have sex. Not 10 paid dates, but marriage. However, it seems that nowadays no one is willing to wait. All the religious men I know that are my age are already married or even they didn’t wait. I don’t know what to do. I am still a virgin even at my age and I don’t want...
info_outlineEvolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In Today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the overlap of Big Five traits in normal human behavior and how to understand the conceptual framework rather than getting bogged down in formulaic thinking. Our next question has to do with anti-anxiety medications and whether they are ever worth taking. Then we wrap things with a question about being in a great marriage to a best friend but whose romance is fading.
1. The big five traits overlap way too much! for ex is someone nice because they are agreeable or because they are extremely conscientious and believe it is the right way to behave or are they just intelligent enough to understand that being nice is an advantageous strategy to get people to cooperate with them? any new developments in the field of personality?
2. Are there any situations or personality types where you believe taking anti-anxiety medications would be a good choice? Versus just seeing a good anxiety therapist like Dr. Laura Bruce who most likely isn't covered by their insurance anyway? For example, I am high in neuroticism, also high in conscientiousness.. but also impulsive.. and I'm currently working a high pressure job to pay off a low interest loan. But the job is stressful (I came into it and discovered they were operating at a -160k deficit, I'm being transparent with the board but we are still operating at a big deficit and might need to close within a year or two).. and my friend keeps telling me to get some anti-anxiety meds. In this case, if I *need* to do something like work a stressful job for a year, should anti-anxiety meds still be off the table? Why or why not?
3. What does a position of power with respect to marriage look like. For me the biggest threat to leaving a marriage is loneliness. I’m not a super out going guy and I fear that growing old without her companionship will be very depressing. My wife is my best friend and the few friends I do have are couple friends we both share. My issue is that the sexual romance side of it is fading. We both have decent paying jobs so financially we could comfortably figure it out if we did decide on splitting. I’m also not worried about the one child we have together we are both on the same page that our job is just to give him a good life experience. The main issue is we are best friends and I understand that is partly because our lives are literally interdependent. Separating may server that bond.
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Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
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