336: Having SECOND THOUGHTs about fiancé – Should I marry anyway? Is waiting until MARRIAGE a TRAP?
Release Date: 07/25/2024
358: Pretty Girls, Cold Feet, and Estrogen Dreams
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:35 Q1: I’m pretty but my ugly competitors are getting plastic surgery! 19:05 Q2: My big, expensive wedding is coming up… but I don’t want to get married anymore 27:59 Q3: Can I increase my estrogen to get more beautiful? 44:28 Final thoughts Q1: You say that a woman’s physical appearance is the most important aspect of her attractiveness when attracting a mate, but we now live in a time when natural beauty has no value...
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357: Loving the Irrational, Living with the Stuck, Losing the One
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:39 Q1: I’ve alerted my wife that she has distortions, but she still has them! 18:53 Irrational emotions vs distortions 29:48 Q2: Why would someone complain about their job but do nothing differently? 47:51 Q3: How can I get over the loss of my husband? 57:33 Final thoughts Q1: Dear Dr Lisle, pop psychology advises men to validate their wives emotions but how do I validate something that is objectively invalid. I have taken your advice and...
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356: You Want Them to Change—But Will They? Suicide, Marijuana, and Sobriety
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:32 Q1 Nephew is suicidal, but he called to tell me 09:19 The psychology of suicide 30:08 Follow up question from E355 37:20 Q2 My husband is addicted to marijuana – can he change? 53:07 Q3: I’m one month sober – can it last? 1:14:19 Conclusion Q1: What do you do when a family member calls you and tells you that they are suicidal? Last night I received a phone call from my 35 year old nephew telling me he was suicidal. Growing up he was my...
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E355: I Married Him to Have Kids... Now He Doesn’t Want Them!
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips 0:22 Q1 Husband just decided he no longer wants kids 18:08 What could have gone wrong? 27:01 Cinderella Effect 32:06 Q2 I’m pregnant and need emotional support, but my husband is focused on his business 44:10 Conclusion Q1: I’m a 39 year old woman and my husband has just decided that he no longer wants to have kids. We talked extensively about this before getting married, I explained to him how important this was to me and he agreed that he wants...
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354: Can't Lower Your Standards? That’s Not a Flaw – It’s Your Biology.
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. Q1: How does one know if or when it is time to settle in dating? I’m 45 years old and have only dated men who I would consider a friend, and have never met anyone who excites me like a romantic partner would. Therefore, I let these men go, kept looking for the next best thing and never found it. Is there a point in life where we should just realize that this partner is the best we are ever going to get even though they are different than what we imagined? Is there a point where we...
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353: Wife hired an escort while I was working, Going to grad school to find a rich husband, Strategies for getting revenge
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 0:51 My wife hired an escort but says it wasn’t technically cheating! 19:01 I’m going to grad school to find a rich husband, but I’m not that into it 40:38 Scratching the psychological itch to get revenge Question 1: Dear Dr. Lisle, I’m a 38 year old male and I work very long hours in finance. My wife, who is 27, and I have been going through a sort of dead bedroom situation for the past few months because I have been working 16-18 hours a...
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352: My son is demoralized! I married for money 25 years ago, now what? I love my partner, but I want some comparison
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 1:09 My son doesn’t work, spends all day in his room, and lacks interest or motivation 17:08 What causes motivation? 21:40 I married a man I don’t love 25 years ago 42:24 Very happy with my partner of 12 years, but want to experience someone else as a comparison Question 1: I have a very difficult adult child. My 23yo easily got a college degree at 21yo in computer science with excellent grades. Despite the warnings and encouragement,...
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351: What is Transference and Counter-transference in a Psycho-therapeutic relationshiop? Is this Freudian concept out-dated?
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses a listener’s question about transference and counter-transference. 0:00 Intro 0:57 Question #1 2:46 A synopsis of psycho-dynamic thinking 9:36 Psycho-dynamic thinking is naïve and bizarre 11:21 What is a therapeutic relationship 20:10 Attraction can occur in a therapeutic relationship 26:50 ‘Transference’ from therapist’s past experiences 33:43 Therapeutic dynamic is usually not a burden or threat 37:36...
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E350: Are women delusional,humble, or just right about how hot they are? What is “the Magic 10%”? Listener wants to know why she fantasizes about women while with boyfriend, Listener is puzzled by choices of family member with aggressive cancer
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss a recent survey reported by survey artist, @Aella_Girl (on X). This survey reveals some interesting deductions about human mating difficulties in finding our “Magic 10%”. Dr. Lisle explains what the term “Magic 10%” means, and we then go over 2 listener questions – the first is whether sexuality is learned or conditioned, specifically bisexual fantasies, and then our last question is about a family member whose recent cancer diagnosis has...
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E349: "Going crazy” after cheating on husband, Are there limitations to Personality or Intelligence tests? Are problematic/disagreeable co-workers less estrogenized? Follow-up question from E347
Beat Your Genes Podcast
Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, Dr. Lisle discusses the idea of “going crazy”, a question about personality and intelligence testing, a question about disagreeable co-workers, and a follow-up from episode 347. 0:00 Teaser Clips 1:23 Question 1: Woman cheats on her husband then snaps 9:57 Can it be induced by psychiatric medications 12:22 Question 2 – Are there errors/biases in personality or intelligence testing? 23:40 What are some limitations to personality or intelligence testing? ...
info_outlineEvolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with host, Nathan Gershfeld. In today's show, we discuss staying a virgin until marriage, and what to consider when having second thoughts before marrying.
1. I am a 32 year old female, Catholic and I want to wait until marriage to have sex. Not 10 paid dates, but marriage. However, it seems that nowadays no one is willing to wait. All the religious men I know that are my age are already married or even they didn’t wait. I don’t know what to do. I am still a virgin even at my age and I don’t want to give up my values just because men are used to living in an over sexualized world and want instant gratification. How do I approach this problem?
2. I’m a 45 year old female and about to get married for the first time but have second thoughts. A few years ago I met a man and he is now my fiance and we live together. He is very nice, smart, has a good personality, and is fairly attractive, but I never had intense passionate feelings for him. I never got those "butterflies" I would get whenever I had a crush. I should also note that I’ve never been in a relationship because I never felt ready and have always been busy with other things, and therefore wasted my 20s and 30s from a dating standpoint. My fiance and I get along very well, but a lot of the time it feels more like a comfortable friendship. I would love to have a passionate and meaningful relationship, but I feel that at my age, the good and attractive men have all been taken a long time ago. If I let him go, the older I get, the harder it will be to find someone. However, it also feels that by marrying him, I’m doing both of us a disservice. I also don’t want to be single at this point in my life. Should I go ahead and marry him even if I’m not in love with him?
Intro 0:00
Evolution of politics 1:00
About 10 paid dates comment from last show 7:00
Question #1 about Staying Virgin until Marriage 12:58
Question #2 about having second thoughts in upcoming marriage 35:30
Wrapping up 57:45
Outro 58:31
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Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com
Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com
Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use
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