ERP 550: When Desire Doesn’t Come Naturally: How Couples Can Intentionally Create Pleasure and Connection — An Interview with Elana Auerbach
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Release Date: 10/13/2026
ERP 550: When Desire Doesn’t Come Naturally: How Couples Can Intentionally Create Pleasure and Connection — An Interview with Elana Auerbach
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Is your relationship’s spark starting to flicker instead of burn? Many couples find that as life gets busier and routines take over, the effortless intimacy and passion that once defined their connection begins to fade. Questions arise—Is something wrong with us? Is a declining libido just an inevitable part of long-term love? The pressure to fix or revive what used to feel natural can create even more distance, leaving partners feeling alone and disconnected. In this episode, listeners are guided through practical steps to reclaim pleasure and intimacy by reframing how they approach...
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ERP 549: Beyond Emotional Intelligence: How Spiritual Intelligence Deepens Love and Connection — An Interview with Dr. Yosi Amram
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
What if the very challenges that frustrate you in your relationship could become stepping stones to deeper intimacy and connection? For many couples, the cycle of conflict, misunderstandings, or emotional distance can feel endless—leaving each partner feeling unseen or unsupported. At the root of these struggles is often not just a lack of communication, but a missing foundation of shared purpose, inner trust, and the ability to show up authentically—qualities that can transform relationship dynamics from the inside out. In this episode, listeners will discover how embracing spiritual...
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ERP 548: Your Brain in Love: How Brain Health Shapes Connection, Conflict, and Intimacy — An Interview with Dr. Majid Fotuhi
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Is your relationship running on autopilot, derailed by misunderstandings, stress, or simply the exhaustion of daily life? Too often, we fail to recognize how the health of our brains—our most vital organ—directly shapes the way we connect, love, and even argue with those closest to us. What if the difference between disconnection and deep intimacy has to do with our brain health? In this episode, listeners will discover how brain health impacts everything from emotional regulation to sexual intimacy, and why tending to your mind’s well-being is foundational for thriving relationships....
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ERP 547: When “Having It All Together” Keeps You from Being Known: Perfectly Hidden Depression in Relationships — An Interview with Dr. Margaret Rutherford
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Are you the person everyone leans on, appearing to have it all together—successful, reliable, always in control—yet quietly wrestling with loneliness and hidden pain beneath the surface? The struggle of perfectionism and emotional hiding can create a silent barrier, making true intimacy in relationships feel just out of reach. It's a paradox: the more polished our outer lives become, the more isolated we may feel on the inside. In this episode, listeners will explore how the pressure to be perfect and the tendency to conceal emotional pain can undermine connection and authenticity within...
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ERP 546: When Parenthood Awakens the Past: Turning Triggers Into Healing and Connection — An Interview with Dr. Angele Close
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Motherhood changes everything—and not just in the ways we expect. While welcoming a child can bring immense joy, it also stirs up unseen emotions, hidden wounds, and internal struggles with guilt, shame, and the daunting pressure to “get it all right.” Far from the sugar-coated images often seen on social media, the journey into parenthood can leave many feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and silently wondering, “Is it just me?” In this episode, listeners are invited to explore the nuanced realities of becoming a parent and the powerful, often unspoken, shifts it triggers within. You'll...
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ERP 545: Why We Hold Back from the People We Love: The Surprising Power of Revealing More — An Interview with Leslie John
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Do you think your partner truly knows what’s on your mind—or are you just hoping they’ll pick up on your unspoken cues? The gap between what we feel and what we actually communicate can quietly sabotage intimacy, leading to misunderstandings and missed chances for genuine connection. Expecting our loved ones to read our minds often leaves both sides feeling unseen and disconnected. In this episode, listeners will uncover why it feels so risky to open up and how sharing even small, vulnerable truths can transform relationships. Through behavioral research, personal stories, and actionable...
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ERP 544: When Love Activates Our Defenses: How Couples Move From Protection to Connection — An Interview With Dr. James Cordova
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
The paradox of intimacy is that our yearning for closeness often puts us at risk of pain, creating a delicate dance between connection and self-protection. As we draw near to those we love, our natural defenses can surface—sometimes in ways that inadvertently push each other away, leaving us feeling misunderstood or isolated even in our most important relationships. In this episode, the conversation dives into this very dilemma, exploring how our protective instincts can unintentionally create distance within our most cherished bonds. Listeners will discover why vulnerability feels so risky,...
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ERP 543: From Betrayal to True Intimacy: Building the Foundations That Last — An Interview with Joanna and Matthew Raabsmith
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Broken trust in a relationship can feel like an earthquake, shattering the very foundation you once believed was unshakable. The pain, confusion, and sense of being lost can leave couples wondering if true intimacy is even possible after betrayal. Many couples long for closeness but find themselves stuck, not knowing how to rebuild what was lost or where to even begin. When wounds run deep, is it ever possible to truly reconnect and create real, lasting intimacy? In this episode, listeners will discover a step-by-step approach designed to guide couples through the difficult process of healing...
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ERP 542: The Deep Human Need to Matter: Why Feeling Significant Changes Your Relationship — An Interview with Rebecca Newberger Goldstein
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Do you ever find yourself wondering, deep down, “Do I really matter—to anyone?” In our fast-paced, achievement-driven world, the quiet ache of wanting to be truly seen and valued can ripple beneath even our closest relationships. So often, beneath arguments or emotional distance, lies an even deeper longing: the human need to know that we are significant to those who matter most to us. In this episode, listeners will dive into the heart of what it means to matter in intimate relationships. Through stories, philosophical insight, and practical examples, the conversation uncovers why our...
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ERP 541: Breaking the Shame Cycle: How Couples Create Safety and Connection — An Interview with Brannon and Tyler Patrick
Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide
Shame might be the silent architect behind our biggest relationship struggles—fueling secrecy, driving distance, and making genuine intimacy feel just out of reach. When the fear of rejection or not being enough sneaks in, it often keeps us locked in painful cycles of criticism, defensiveness, and disconnect. But what if the way we react to shame is the very thing sabotaging our deepest connections? In this episode, the discussion dives into how shame operates beneath the surface of issues like betrayal, addiction, and disconnection, and offers concrete strategies for transforming these...
info_outlineIs your relationship’s spark starting to flicker instead of burn? Many couples find that as life gets busier and routines take over, the effortless intimacy and passion that once defined their connection begins to fade. Questions arise—Is something wrong with us? Is a declining libido just an inevitable part of long-term love? The pressure to fix or revive what used to feel natural can create even more distance, leaving partners feeling alone and disconnected.
In this episode, listeners are guided through practical steps to reclaim pleasure and intimacy by reframing how they approach connection with themselves and their partners. With honest discussions about the challenges that come with sustaining desire over time, this conversation offers empowering practices for deepening pleasure, cultivating presence, and taking 100% responsibility for your own sensual fulfillment. Whether you’re looking to reignite the spark or establish a sustainable, nourishing practice of intimacy, this episode provides insights and tools to make meaningful, lasting change in your relationship.
Elana is a lover, mother, author, mentor, activator, and priestess. While Elana has a wealth of professional experience guiding people deeper into their bodies and their pleasure, The Sure Thing comes directly from her personal life. After years of frustration and failed gimmicks to try to respark the passion in her 20-year marriage, Elana created The Sure Thing. She wrote this book because she wants everyone to have access to this life-altering practice.
Episode Highlights
05:35 Creating an intimacy practice.
07:14 Understanding neuroception in communication.
10:58 Taking responsibility for personal pleasure.
15:46 Discussing and overcoming shame.
19:17 Focusing on intimacy and connection.
22:50 Commitment in personal practices.
26:24 Setting the intention for space.
30:00 Practicing self-pleasure and desires.
30:57 Balancing relationship commitments.
35:25 Exploring relational connections and pleasure.
39:37 Practicing mutual, respectful intimacy.
Your Checklist of Actions to Take
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Set an Intention: Before each practice, determine what kind of sensual fulfillment or connection you desire, tailoring it to what feels inspiring to you in the moment or season.
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Schedule Sacred Time: Put the Sure Thing practice on your calendar to ensure it is prioritized and honored just like any other important commitment.
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Create a Ritual or Opening: Prepare your space and mind with a simple ritual, such as lighting a candle, taking a hot bath, playing music, or stating your intention to mark the transition into the practice.
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Begin with Self-Connection: Take a moment to check in with your body and ask yourself, “What would be most pleasurable right now?”—even if the answer is “I don’t know.”
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Take 100% Responsibility for Your Own Pleasure: Focus on what feels good for you, building the muscle of knowing and asking for what you want, whether solo or with a partner.
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Practice Presence and Pause: If you find yourself on autopilot or disconnected, pause to check in with yourself and your partner, recentering on pleasure and authenticity in the moment.
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Honor Boundaries and No’s: Be honest about your desires and boundaries, giving yourself and your partner permission to say no or offer a counter-request without pressure or expectation.
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Experiment and Explore: Try out different forms of pleasure—solo practices, touch, slow eating, movement, or sensual objects—experimenting playfully to discover what brings you most alive.
Mentioned
The Sure Thing (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book)
Connect with Elana Auerbach
Website: surethingexperiment.com
Facebook: facebook.com/ElanaAuerbachAuthor
Instagram: instagram.com/elana.auerbach
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/elana-auerbach-387875b3