Breaking the Myth: Time Alone Won’t Heal Your Grief

The Truth About Grief: Why Pain Demands to Be Felt

Episode Description: In this episode of Healing Starts with the Heart, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker sheds light on the exhausting and relentless nature of grief. She challenges the common advice to “give it time” and explains why grief pain demands to be felt. Through personal stories and deep insights, Sharon provides listeners with practical steps to lean into their grief and begin processing it in a healthy way.

Key Points Discussed:

Why Grief Feels Exhausting

• Grief takes every bit of your energy, leaving you physically and emotionally drained.

• Staying busy and distracted may seem like a solution, but it doesn’t make the pain go away.

• The exhaustion of grief is real—it’s as if all your nerve endings are exposed, making even small tasks feel overwhelming.

The Myth of “Time Heals All”

• Many are told to just “give it time,” but time alone does not heal grief.

• Pain has a purpose—it demands to be felt and processed before true healing can begin.

• Avoiding grief only causes it to show up unexpectedly, in ways we don’t anticipate.

The Chatter of Grief

• Grief creates an ongoing mental dialogue, much like background noise that never stops.

• Unprocessed grief thoughts turn into overwhelming emotions that take over daily life.

• The only way to quiet the chatter is to acknowledge and process the emotions tied to it.

Our Culture Teaches Us to Push Through

• Society conditions us to suppress grief, offering minimal time to grieve before returning to “normal.”

• We have been led to believe that grief has an expiration date, but real healing comes from actively tending to our pain.

A Simple Practice for Processing Grief

• Instead of pushing grief away, pause and acknowledge its presence.

• Identify the emotion you’re feeling—sadness, loneliness, anger—and name it.

• Lean into the emotion rather than resisting it, allowing it to pass through you.

• This intentional awareness helps relieve the weight of grief over time.

Journal Questions for Reflection:

• Have you been trying to stay busy to avoid your grief? How has that affected you?

• What are some ways your grief is showing up unexpectedly in your life?

• When was the last time you truly allowed yourself to sit with your emotions? How did it feel?

• What would it look like for you to practice awareness and acknowledgment of your grief today?

Conclusion: Grief is not something to “get over”—it is something to tend to with care. Sharon encourages listeners to challenge societal norms, embrace their grief, and practice awareness. By learning to process grief instead of suppressing it, healing becomes possible.

Resources and Support:

• Join Grief Study Hall – Connect with others in a supportive environment: Tuesdays at 1 PM CST & Thursdays at 10 AM CST.

• Processing the Pain of Grief Program – Learn the step-by-step approach to healing.

• Website: healingstartswiththeheart.com

• Facebook Group: The Grief School

• Contact: Email Sharon at [email protected]

Thank you for listening! Stay tuned for more conversations on grief, healing, and resilience.