How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 2
Grieve That Sh!t
In Part Two of this Grieve That Shit conversation, Sharon Brubaker and Dr. Elijah Frazier move past introductions and into the heart of what grievers struggle with most: choice, accountability, faith, emotions, and permission to heal. This episode challenges one of the most damaging beliefs grievers carry—that grief is something they must endure forever. Sharon and Dr. Frazier speak directly to the idea that pain is inevitable after loss, but staying trapped in suffering is not the only option. They talk honestly about how grief can steal joy, peace, and energy when we are not aware of the...
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How to Stop Treating Grief Like a System with Dr. Elijah Frazier Part 1
Grieve That Sh!t
In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker introduces a defining moment for The Grief School and the podcast. For the first time, she welcomes Dr. Elijah Frazier and shares the news that The Grief School is now powered by The Frazier Group. This is not an announcement episode filled with buzzwords or credentials. It’s a conversation about people, pain, and what real care actually looks like when someone is at their breaking point. Sharon and Dr. Frazier talk openly about why grief cannot be handled by systems, scripts, or one-size-fits-all solutions. They explore the difference...
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What Grief Is Not
Grieve That Sh!t
“Grief is not a mental illness. It’s not weakness. It’s not a checklist to finish or a line you’re supposed to move through. It’s love—with nowhere left to go.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, gets brutally honest about everything grief isn’t. For too long, society has treated grief like a disorder to diagnose, a problem to medicate, or a series of stages to climb. But grief isn’t logical, linear, or tidy—it’s wild, unpredictable, and deeply human. Sharon unpacks why labeling grief as...
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Forever Changed But Not Broken
Grieve That Sh!t
“When your person died, a part of you died too. Not your whole self—but the version of you that only existed in connection with them. That’s the part grief takes. That’s what forever changed really means.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker, Certified Grief Specialist and founder of The Grief School, opens her heart about what it truly means to be forever changed—but not broken. After losing her nephew Austin and later her best friend Sharon, her life split into two: before and after. But in this episode, she invites you into the middle—the space between who you...
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When a Memory Hits You Like Fear
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: This episode cracks open one of the most frightening and misunderstood parts of grief: when a memory hits your body like a shock. You’re sitting still, lost in a moment with your person, and suddenly your stomach drops, your breath tightens, your heart races, and you remember all over again that they died. It feels like you’re grieving in two places at once. Sharon Brubaker takes you inside the neurobiology behind that jolt. She breaks down how the hippocampus pulls old memories like scenes from a movie, why the amygdala tags those memories as danger, and how your brain...
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Why Noise Feels Like an Attack In Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
Episode Summary: In this episode of Grieve That Shit, Sharon Brubaker talks about something most grievers never see coming: why normal sounds suddenly feel like an attack. The kids laughing, the microwave door slamming, a choir starting at church, a car alarm in the parking lot. Things you used to handle just fine now hit your body like lightning. Sharon walks you through what is really happening inside your grieving brain. She breaks down the amygdala, the nervous system, the HPA axis, and why grief flips all of them into survival mode. This is not you “being dramatic.” This is biology....
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The Hidden Fight Inside Every Griever
Grieve That Sh!t
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this powerful episode of Grieve That Sh!t, Sharon Brubaker opens the door on one of the most misunderstood experiences in grief: the silent battle happening inside your body. After the loss of her nephew Austin, Sharon discovered that grief isn’t just sadness. It’s a full body takeover. It’s your mind racing, your stomach twisting, your heart pounding, and your nervous system trying to protect you in ways that end up keeping you stuck. Through honest storytelling and deep reflection, Sharon explains why so many grievers stay busy, stay strong, and stay silent...
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The Things I Wish I Had Done Differently
Grieve That Sh!t
🎙️ Episode Summary: In this deeply personal episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker opens her heart about the painful truths she learned after the death of her son, Austin. She shares the moments she wishes she had faced differently—the pretending, the resisting, and the avoiding—and how each of those choices kept her trapped in silence. Through raw honesty and reflection, Sharon reveals what she’s learned about strength, vulnerability, and what real healing actually requires. If you’ve ever felt like you had to be strong for everyone else… or that your...
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It Only Takes a Second to Change Everything
Grieve That Sh!t
In this deeply moving and unforgettable episode of Grieve That Sh!t, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker shares a story that stopped her in her tracks, a moment that changed two families’ lives forever. What began as an ordinary drive with her husband turned into a tragedy they witnessed unfold before their eyes. Through this raw, emotional experience, Sharon explores how quickly life can change, how grief shatters the illusion of time, and what it truly means to live with awareness, compassion, and love before it’s too late. This episode isn’t just about loss it’s about the fragility of...
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The Cost of Avoiding Your Grief
Grieve That Sh!t
“Avoiding the pain won’t make it go away—it only teaches it to hide.” In this episode of Grieve That Shit, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker breaks down one of the sneakiest traps that keeps grievers stuck: avoidance. When life shatters, the natural instinct is to run from the pain, to stay busy, and to pretend you’re doing fine. But as Sharon reminds us, ignoring grief doesn’t erase it—it buries it. This episode dives deep into what happens when we try to outsmart our pain. Sharon explains why our brains convince us to avoid reminders of our person, how distraction becomes a...
info_outlineEpisode Description:
In this powerful episode of Healing Starts with the Heart, grief specialist Sharon Brubaker takes us into the often-unspoken world of collective grief—the grief that doesn’t belong to just one person, one family, or one household. It belongs to all of us. When tragedy strikes a community—whether it’s a school shooting, a local accident, a sudden death, or a public loss—every face reflects the sorrow. And every heart carries a piece of it.
Sharon unpacks what it means to grieve together, how public mourning impacts private pain, and why it’s so hard to know what to say or do. Through her personal story and the communities she’s walked with through deep loss, this episode is a reminder: you are allowed to grieve, even if you weren’t the one closest to the loss.
If you’ve ever struggled to understand why you’re hurting after a tragedy in your town—or if you’ve watched your community rally and then fall silent—this episode will help you name it, feel it, and find a way forward together.
Key Points Covered:
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What community grief really is:
How grief spreads beyond the immediate family and becomes a shared weight. -
The ripple effect of loss:
Why neighbors, classmates, church members, teachers—even strangers—feel it too. -
When your grief becomes public:
What it means when your pain is visible in grocery store aisles, in church pews, and across front porches. -
The awkwardness of support:
Why communities show up with casseroles, candles, and balloon releases—because they don’t know what else to do. -
No grief is “too small”:
Even if your connection was distant, your pain is real and valid. -
What happens after the funeral:
Why grief gets louder in the silence after the ceremonies, when the door closes and the cameras are gone. -
The trap of being “community strong”:
Why telling people to “stay strong” shuts down healing—and what to say instead. -
The importance of afterward support:
How real community healing starts not just with rituals, but with consistent presence, honest words, and quiet connection.
Reflection Questions for Your Heart:
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Have you ever felt grief that didn’t “belong” to you, but changed you anyway?
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What role did you play in a collective loss—neighbor, teacher, nurse, friend?
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Who have you been meaning to check in on, long after the candles were blown out?
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What does your community need most right now: another event—or someone who will simply say, “I see you”?
A Note from Sharon:
If you're hurting for your town, your school, your street, your neighbor—you're grieving. And you deserve space to feel it, too. Let’s stop pretending we’re okay. Let’s stop hiding behind strong. Real grief calls for real community. Let’s keep showing up for one another—not just for the funeral, but for the months and years afterward, when it matters most.
Listen weekly to Healing Starts with the Heart for truth-filled, compassionate guidance through the hardest parts of grief.
Follow Us:
Website: healingstartswiththeheart.com
Facebook: Healing Starts with the Heart
Instagram: @healatthegriefschool
TikTok: @thegriefschool
Join Us for Ongoing Healing:
If you’re grieving quietly after a public loss, we see you. You’re not invisible.
Join Sharon and our team at the next Grief Healing Weekend Intensive—a space for real healing, not just survival.
You don’t have to carry this alone. Visit clickhereforhope.com for details.