Self Identity - It's Hard To Look In The Mirror
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of self identity The guys joke about their lack of Biblical knowledge around God’s statement to Moses “I am who I am” Jim refers to a podcast he heard that mentioned the we’re never ready and you just have to face your fears Mark reflects on his career and how he speaks with everyone he helps about their self identity. It’s the most important part of his work. You have to be able to tell your own story. He thinks most people cannot tell their own story. Jim agrees Mark reads the definition of self identity Mark reflects on the 1000’s of people he’s...
info_outline
Reinventing Yourself At Any Age - How To Be Clever About It
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of reinventing yourself in the context of a personal brand. Both guys have been working on their brands. Jim is finishing up a formal effort with his brand Mark puts his career up as a reinvention experience Jim shares his view of how stories and brands have evolved over time and explains why he has made his recent investment of time and money working out his brand and messaging. Contextually he explains this journey as one with three parts. The past, present and future. He talks about the work and the advisor he hired. He brings our 5 key areas of life framework Mark...
info_outline
Worldview: Politics, Perspectives & People Who Still Talk to Each Other
Imperfect Mens Club
“You cannot kill a thought. It needs to die of old age or natural causes” Mark introduces the topic of worldview and the different belief systems we all have…and where we get them Jim adds the influence of the political distress specifically in LA and brings in the flywheel Mark clarifies the politics of it all and both guys laugh at how everything is about politics Jim says most of us don’t like to have our belief systems challenged, but agree it’s important to do so Mark reads Jim’s 5w’s assessment…What, why, where, when and who Jim brings up self awareness and Mark agrees...
info_outline
Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s...
info_outline
90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives...
info_outline
The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim...
info_outline
How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to...
info_outline
Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can...
info_outline
Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he...
info_outline
Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence
The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence
In order to be self accountable, one must be confident
Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business
He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident
Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism
He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of imperfection
Mark observes that confidence can be under done and over done
He shares his vision of where confidence comes from. Genetic and environment. Confidence starts to develop early
Jim thinks it’s all relative. People have very different perspectives on these issues of elitism and confidence
Jim shares his trade background and how educated people looked down on him and made him feel less than. Jim thinks the more “educated” you are, the less wisdom you have
Mark distinguishes between knowledge and wisdom. He shares his upbringing close to the Boston Ivy League and his disdain for this specific elitism
Mark thinks the family is huge in it’s role of confidence building
Jim moves into sports He agrees about the family influence. Jim thinks sports really emphasizes and exaggerates the importance and influence of confidence. Jim brings up the example of Eli Manning who is referenced in this book as to his mental blocks before winning
They joke about the Giants-Patriots games and Tom Brady comes up as the consummate mind-body guy
Mark connects all the life areas in the wheel and shares his experience when one area is operating at his peak…how the other areas benefit
Mark shares his thoughts about momentum and how contgious confidence can become
Marks ask about ignorance and brings up Mike Tyson as an example of this
Jim references his book again and shares the idea of a mental bank where confidence can be pulled from or deposited into. Managing the highs and lows by ignoring, forgetting and living in the moment
Mark thinks confident people look at failure as an opportunity to learn
Expectation management is required to keep the lows land highs regulated
Jim talks about how some recent wins got him a little high and he’s keeping an eye on being let down
Mark recalls feeling very confident and what a great feeling it is. But, he cautions that when you get that feeling, you have two choices: I deserve this…or I’m grateful for this…and that’s a Big difference. Mark says gratitude creates a “landslide” of more confidence.
Now Jim moves to the next topic from his book…the personal narrative. How the brain can produce adrenaline like a performance enhancing drug
Mark shares his daughter’s experience with anxiety and fear and her overcoming the fear by facing it head on…and your confidence can return. Jim says you can reframe your fear
Mark shares his story about nerves during his 12 year old Little League Allstar game. How his dad talked him down and taught him how to channel nerves
Jim brings up the next topic of filters and the power of reframing your focus toward success versus failures
Mark brings up his “worst case scenario” strategy. If the worst case is a loss…so what. He then shares the value of either ignoring others or paying no attention to the criticisms of others. The mental filters
Persistency and patience are two other qualities Jim brings up in the context of his patents and recent successes
Another point is how little we have control over as we’re trying to accomplish something. Jim also appreciates how you can view the world as happening to you or for you
Mark shares his daughter’s journey to business success…and frames it over the persistence required over 20 years
Then he talks about her generous reference to him as the force that kept her going when she wanted to quit Then Jim asks Mark to recount the time his daughter almost lost her business some years ago to a cease and desist order
Jim believes the Government position to shut her down was just another form of elitism. Both guys think the food and drug departments in government are being fully exposed now
Elitism - entitlement - self accountability - self confidence