Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of...
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Frameworks: The Invisible Structures Behind A Well Lived Life
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark shares the value of the “pregame” the guys use to prepare for the podcast He introduces the topic of frameworks How they can be good or harmful Jim shares how frameworks evolve and how ours did. Our tagline “The Imperfection Is The Perfection” Jim used this with his kids when they got frustrated with him He thinks imperfections and failures make us who we are Jim shares how when we started the podcast, we were thinking of “Civill Discourse” as a theme. Then we came upon our Wheel Of Life Jim takes us around the wheel and digs into all 5 areas of life and then some deeper...
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The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude” Mark asks Jim about his trip Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to...
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The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a...
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How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men
Imperfect Mens Club
We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say...
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The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim...
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Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally...
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Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional”...
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How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like?
Imperfect Mens Club
Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and...
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Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance
Imperfect Mens Club
Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out...
info_outlineMark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence
The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence
In order to be self accountable, one must be confident
Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business
He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident
Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism
He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of imperfection
Mark observes that confidence can be under done and over done
He shares his vision of where confidence comes from. Genetic and environment. Confidence starts to develop early
Jim thinks it’s all relative. People have very different perspectives on these issues of elitism and confidence
Jim shares his trade background and how educated people looked down on him and made him feel less than. Jim thinks the more “educated” you are, the less wisdom you have
Mark distinguishes between knowledge and wisdom. He shares his upbringing close to the Boston Ivy League and his disdain for this specific elitism
Mark thinks the family is huge in it’s role of confidence building
Jim moves into sports He agrees about the family influence. Jim thinks sports really emphasizes and exaggerates the importance and influence of confidence. Jim brings up the example of Eli Manning who is referenced in this book as to his mental blocks before winning
They joke about the Giants-Patriots games and Tom Brady comes up as the consummate mind-body guy
Mark connects all the life areas in the wheel and shares his experience when one area is operating at his peak…how the other areas benefit
Mark shares his thoughts about momentum and how contgious confidence can become
Marks ask about ignorance and brings up Mike Tyson as an example of this
Jim references his book again and shares the idea of a mental bank where confidence can be pulled from or deposited into. Managing the highs and lows by ignoring, forgetting and living in the moment
Mark thinks confident people look at failure as an opportunity to learn
Expectation management is required to keep the lows land highs regulated
Jim talks about how some recent wins got him a little high and he’s keeping an eye on being let down
Mark recalls feeling very confident and what a great feeling it is. But, he cautions that when you get that feeling, you have two choices: I deserve this…or I’m grateful for this…and that’s a Big difference. Mark says gratitude creates a “landslide” of more confidence.
Now Jim moves to the next topic from his book…the personal narrative. How the brain can produce adrenaline like a performance enhancing drug
Mark shares his daughter’s experience with anxiety and fear and her overcoming the fear by facing it head on…and your confidence can return. Jim says you can reframe your fear
Mark shares his story about nerves during his 12 year old Little League Allstar game. How his dad talked him down and taught him how to channel nerves
Jim brings up the next topic of filters and the power of reframing your focus toward success versus failures
Mark brings up his “worst case scenario” strategy. If the worst case is a loss…so what. He then shares the value of either ignoring others or paying no attention to the criticisms of others. The mental filters
Persistency and patience are two other qualities Jim brings up in the context of his patents and recent successes
Another point is how little we have control over as we’re trying to accomplish something. Jim also appreciates how you can view the world as happening to you or for you
Mark shares his daughter’s journey to business success…and frames it over the persistence required over 20 years
Then he talks about her generous reference to him as the force that kept her going when she wanted to quit Then Jim asks Mark to recount the time his daughter almost lost her business some years ago to a cease and desist order
Jim believes the Government position to shut her down was just another form of elitism. Both guys think the food and drug departments in government are being fully exposed now
Elitism - entitlement - self accountability - self confidence