Imperfect Mens Club

Our podcast is raw...no edits, no music, no commercials. My buddy Jim and I have fun talking about life and business and anything we find interesting. We're both successful entrepreneurs, former athletes, fathers and we don't shy away from controversy. We don't agree on everything and we both like to laugh imperfectmensclub.com IG: @imperfectmensclubpodcast

Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments 06/05/2025

Trump Derangement Syndrome And The 10 Commandments Mark introduces the topic by reading the definition and symptoms As much as the guys believe it to be real, it’s also funny Jim asks Mark what “Psychic pathology” means and he takes a shot Jim shares his opinion about friends and family that seem to struggle with this Jim talks about his mom. She exhibits physical manifestations Mark thinks this physical reaction indicates a pretty severe condition Jim calls it impulsive Mark calls Trump insensitive and crass. He’s a fighter and not a politician Mark talks about one friend who is very smart, but can’t remain objective when Trump’s name comes up Both guys say they’ve never seen anything like it Neither guy feels that he’s a bad guy. He’s not treated fairly in their opinion Neither guy is interested in defending Trump Mark says if you can’t talk about this guy without losing your shit…it’s likely some form of mental illness Both guys are more interested in issues than personality Jim shares another story about his mom and common ground. He also doesn’t tell people who he voted for He also shares his daughter’s experience and some friends Mark says people are more nuanced. Liking one issue doesn’t necessarily put you in any other groups, but people do assume and presume Mark asked Jim’s opinion on what the political climate is like living in California Mark shares his opinion on living in Florida Mark shares his experience wearing a Trump shirt Both guys are entertained by people with TDS Jim says, in CA people take immediate positions. Red team or blue team He shares his recent encounter with a woman who got emotional when she discovered Jim’s friend was a Trump guy. She mellowed a bit after getting into the discussion. She expressed pride in being an “American” The woman brought up the pending law in Texas about hanging up the 10 Commandments in public schools Jim’s position is against it and Mark disagrees Mark shares his view of how nuanced this woman was after getting deeper into the discussion People aren’t as obvious as they might seem to be Both guys respect people with strong positions. That stand for something and have some humor and self deprecation. Jim has no time for the passive aggressive people who get lost in emotion. He seeks common ground Mark reminds people that Trump behaves on purpose. It’s a strategy that people with TDS don’t even understand Jim’s friend asked her where she was from and she dug into being an American The discussion became more interesting after a few drinks Mark cites this an another example of why we can’t assume things about people and their beliefs Mark feels that Trump has repositioned the US as a strong nation Jim explains the political landscape of different areas of CA. Red and blue areas Jim voted more against the blue team than he did for the red team. He feels his vote didn’t matter, but he also believes in voting. His was a “protest” vote The guys introduce the 10 Commandments topic that this woman asked about Jim agreed with the woman. No religion in the school Mark disagrees. He feels that the US was founded on Judeo Christian values so putting the Commandments in schools is OK. It’s different than teaching religion Both guys add context to their positions. They agree to disagree go deeper into their respective positions Mark shares the 10 Commandments and each guy gives his thoughts about each and some of the hypocrisy around sins Mark feels like the TDS people hold Trump to a higher standard than others Mark share the last 7 Commandments and suggests they would provide for a good life without the religious flavor Mark feels that Christianity can’t be watered down Mark shares his position on his faith and his awareness that other people might push their beliefs on others He shares his opinion on Notre Dame’s celebration of Pride month and his response He shares his response about the difference between “accepting” others and “promoting” others /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36866955

90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up 06/02/2025

90% Of Life Is Just Showing Up Mark introduces the topic and frames it in the context of his recent experience with having a plumber show up at his home to do some work He shares how gratitude plays a part in the discussion. He expresses a concern that the topic is so rich that staying on topic might be tough Jim reflects on the story Mark has already told him Jim expands on the “Showing up” concept Jim shares his perspective having been a tradesman and having gone into many homes and being treated poorly, more often than not. He applauds Marks treatment of the plumber Jim expands on the notion of appreciation and gives his opinion on how Mark’s behavior influenced the outcome Jim emphasizes the importance of appreciation. Then he connects the topic to the wheel and the 5 areas of life Mark shares the story. He felt vulnerable. The problem was he didn’t have water coming into his home. Mark tells his side about showing up too. He was very impressed with the plumber who showed up and shared all the details about what he liked about the experience. Jim steps in and shared his perspective from being a tradesman as well. He emphasized how Marks behavior was unique. Mark jokes about some trade experiences with his ex wife. Jim resets the discussion as Mark gets distracted with the emotion of the experience. Mark shares more of the story. Jim continues to play the role of tradesman and adds more context and appreciation about how unique Mark’s experience actually was Jim enthusiastically shares his view of Mark’s experience. Mark acknowledges his skepticism prior to arrival but also shares how he didn’t let his skepticism prejudge Jim brings up the skilled labor “crisis” as another angle on this story and shares his opinion about that…strong feelings Jim thinks the trades are at risk for a number of reasons. Then he brings up the race component of this. Jimmy was black and Jim speculates that other clients may disrespect him because of his race. Mark jokes about the race topic. He also thinks people respond better to being treated well Jim brings up the credit that he feels the home warranty company deserves too. Mark shares the history of deciding to take on the home warranty when bought the home in 2007 and how that relationship has evolved Jim asks Mark to “write Jimmy’s review”. Mark shares what he’s already done and both guys talk about what else Mark could/should do for Jimmy. Jim wants more details from Mark. Marks goes deeper about the whole experience Mark brings back up the notion of modeling and reminds Jim to share his story about ending his own trade career. Why he stopped Mark reminds us that all the great behavior is available to all of us. Anyone can behave well Jim shares stories about his childhood, his dad and the phrase “I can’t” while raking leaves on a Saturday morning and going to the dump Jim feels that experience shaped him Mark had a similar experience with his dad Jim then shares more about the evolution of his career and some other childhood formative moments….pay the electric bill or get your own place:) Then Jim tells the story of ending his trade career and why. Girls, suits and meeting his wife Mark starts to wrap up and says Jim’s dad was right…you can Jim credits his dad for what he did - modeling - less about what he said Mark says he takes offense at people who don’t show up…because it’s so easy Jim tells Mark again how much he appreciate shim and Mark returns the praise /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36815800

The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters 05/22/2025

The Disingenuous Epidemic - Cowards, Clowns, and Characters Mark introduces the topic of disingenuous people. Both guys have had recent experiences with people who were being disingenuous. Mark asks whether he thinks people are born this way or do become this way based on environment or circumstance. Jim says he’s been using that word more often lately Mark reads the legal definition of the word Jim shares his definition. He clarifies the nuance of this activity being intentional Mark says there are different levels of it, but that some people are just stupid Jim shares his recent encounter with a disingenuous neighbor Deception from the get go. Jim says this guy isn’t dumb…he’s just a dick Mark shares something he used to tell his kids to help them get to the truth. “Look at what people do and then what they say. When those are the same, you’ll find truth” Mark brings up his ex wife as an example Then the guys bring up justice Jim…”it’s not what you say, it’s what you do”. His neighbor said, “I thought we were friends? Mark reacts aggressively to that behavior Jim says this guy was many things…deceptive, delusional and dishonest. He took the high road even as this guy dug his hole deeper, but he did tell him “you might want to get back on your meds” Mark loves that line Jim decided to let the guy keep revealing himself, but he continued to hold him accountable Mark thinks people who pretend to be dumb might be worse and he alludes to our current political landscape Mark brings up the trend of not asking follow-up questions. Then the guys go to Trump as an example and talk about his behavior. Also the contrast between Biden and Trump. Mark recognizes that many people feel Trump is a liar. Mark calls him an embellisher. A master embellisher who does so with a very specific intention to move people Mark says disingenuous people behave in 3 distinct ways. Raise their voice, change the topic or walkaway. People who are genuine will welcome follow-up questions Jim shares more words that he looked up based on this experience Cowards, clowns and characters Both guys feel that there are a lot of cowards in the world. Jim asks him to read the definition of coward Mark shares his frustration with people who are afraid to speak up about problems at work Jim is a big fan of his AI tool - Gemini. They joke about “her” Mark says Biden is also a clown. He reads the definition and they laugh about how clownish Biden is Mark talks about doing nothing. Either not taking a stance or watching bad things happen and not interveneing Jim talks about the Biden group and the lack of integrity Jim asks Mark…how can you tell what the truth is Mark brings up Bernie Sanders and gives him credit for speaking from the heart. He doesn’t use notes Jim shares his thoughts about Kamala Harris and Mark replies with more Trump authenticity and how good he is at holding people accountable Both guys speak highly of Trumps cabinet members Jim says “news does not get reported it gets created”. Jim shares a story about a high school football coach who got run out because of a bullshit race issue. When the reporters came, she couldn’t get anyone to bite on race…so they didn’t run the story. They spent all the time and money wasted because they couldn’t create the story they wanted Mark shares how he watches both sides of the news every so often just to see how the left is distorting. He says this in the context of his girlfriend’s kids. They watch channels that distort facts Characters - Mark reads the definition Jim thinks the media is now full of characters. Putting on the show Jim asks about justice. Will we get any. He has stopped waiting Mark feels that he needs to leave this alone. It’s affecting his mental health Jim believes in Karma /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36679770

How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity 05/15/2025

How A Simple Framework Can Help Us Communicate With Candor And Clarity Mark brings up the topic of communication in the context of self talk and self reflection Then he shares a framework Jim brought that he uses for communication. The triple A method Assumptions/Agreement/Action Mark is a fan Jim brings up a favorite quote of his - “The most important conversation you’ll ever have is the conversation you have with yourself”…and that’s a crazy person Mark shares his self talk routine Jim - simply…you have to turn the channel He shares how his mind works. He finds or creates tools to help him. That’s where this AAA framework came from. He uses it to make meetings and conversation brief and productive. He does it out of respect and courtesy. It encourages personal accountability Jim jokes that everything he just said doesn’t apply to women:). Joking aside, both guys see big differences, but believe them to be compliments Mark sees the conversation being about personal responsibility as they talk about Stoicism Jim distinguishes between different types of conversations and different times in our lives Clarity, transparency and efficiency are all served by the framework Mark shares the saying on his t-shirt - “What do you mean by that?” Mark shares his appreciation for frameworks…specifically Jim’s AAA framework Mark says a lot of people don’t like to be held accountable Jim shares a visual rendering of his framework and offers some explanation of how the framework works. Mark chimes in in agreement Mark shares his experience with people who are scared to speak up. Most people don’t like candor and confrontation. It makes them afraid Jim clarifies his opinion of women as being better than men at many things Jim also clarifies that his framework is not for more personal conversations. It’s a business framework Mark shares his story about taking meeting notes in his sales meeting. How 10 people handed in 10 different sets of notes Jim thinks AI tools will help with this. Transcripts. Word for word. He explains how he might use them to bring in. His framework on command. Prompts and percentages of time that people talk during the conversation Mark shares how he started handing out transcripts of meeting notes. He was surprised at how reticent people were to be held to what they said by the transcript Mark shares his stories about how he handled this before AI Jim clarifies that his framework is to be used before, during and after conversations. Not just before. Then Jim brings up our wheel to add context to our topic. He has redone it for his use in an upcoming speech. And because we haven’t updated it in a while. He reflects on all the selfs…agent, respect… Both guys express their appreciation for the wheel. Their framework Jims goes over the wheel in detail Mark shares his opinion that he changes the way he communicates depending on what life area he’s in Mark goes into detail about the difference between how Jim’s brain works versus Mark. Jim continues to analyze how the wheel works and gets into ideology and politics as well as other levels outward on the wheel. He goes into details about the profession category. The differences between employed people and self employed people. Whose money are we playing with. Not a criticism. An observation Both guys share their father’s perspective on this Mark shares the power of “WHY” and “WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT” The value is in the follow up question. Clarity and context /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36581960

Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different 05/08/2025

Personal Stories Of Neurodivergence - The Ability To Think Different Mark introduces the guys and topic. He cites how aligned both guys are. As they enter the call they’re thinking of the same topics and thoughts Neurodivergence (See definition at the bottom of the show notes) Mark shares a call about his grandson and his current struggles which may well involve him being on the spectrum Jim shared his perspective about labels and crutches and his own story about being neurodivergent himself growing up Jim’s perspective is to reframe this label as an opportunity to think of things differently Neither guy likes meds, but do agree that in some cases they can be a Godsend Jim tells a story about meeting his son’s fiancee’s family…one of who was neurodiverse. So many different degrees of the neurodivergent mind Mark reads the definition that Jim provided (Version posted below) Mark jokes that there is no normal and the definition sounds like the description of a teenager Elon Musk comes up. Mark shares a recent interview he saw with Musk about Mars Mark was amazed. Jim agrees Jim talks about Dan Sullivan’s recent diagnosis in later age and how one of his clients benefits from doing work with him being a neurodiverse person - “Unique Abilities” The importance of self-awareness and self acceptance Mark shares his opinion on the value of self awareness as well as how unique people are. He also talks about the danger of labeling. Excuses, victimhood and manipulation. Both guys warn about the problems with victimhood. Mark thinks his grandson’s temptation might be the manipulation Jim shares more about Dan Sullivan’s position about neurodivergence Violence and anger are common traits of neurodiverse people who don’t get help Mark looks at neurodivergence as simply another challenge to be overcome. Jim agrees that overcoming hardship affects everyone Jim is very skeptical about academia and neurodiversity Mark shares his best childhood’s condition and his older brother’s inability to stay focused Jim says it’s been around forever. People just understand it better. He also clarifies that his challenge is dysgraphia. More than dyslexia. And how each condition affects how his brain works. He thinks AI will be a game changer for the neurodiverse Mark shares the details of discussing his grandson with his other parents and relatives. Mark asks Jim’s opinion on all of this and his own journey Jim mentions his efforts to develop his own brand and how his unique abilities are big part of this Jim brings up fortitude - the ability to develop it in the face of hardship He shares a few childhood stories about hardship and fortitude as a neurodiverse kid. The story about his dad and “I can’t” and some other school related stories. Being embarrassed about poor reading and comprehension in front of the other kids. How he beat up all the kids who made fun of him and how anger manifested itself. Jim’s football story speaks to the importance of a good mindset and proper mentality Final story is about his first concussion and subsequent failure at community college Essentially Jim is on a whole new journey with a new perspective on why he is who he is and how he’s accomplished what he has. Then he shares a story of how harmful comparison is The whole conversation is very personal and enlightening Mark frames the lessons…No labels, no victim behavior and no manipulation. No one is special and everyone is special. Mark thinks it’s very important and hopefully medicine is a last step Jim shares the wisdom of life happening for you and not to you. Just show up and there’s no such thing as “I can’t” ------------- "Neurodivergent refers to individuals whose brains function differently from what's considered typical or normative, encompassing a variety of conditions like autism, ADHD, and learning disabilities. It's a broad term that recognizes natural variation in how brains process information, rather than viewing such differences as deficits." /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36488800

Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships 05/01/2025

Beware The "Vortex". Aging Gracefully In Relationships Mark introduces the topic of male and female relationships. Jim had brought up the recent Bill Belichick interview with his new 24 year old girlfriend Jim covers our framework and the wheel of life. Relationships is one of the five and women is a subset of that Jim likes looking at life in increments of 10 years. Now we’re both in our 60’s and things have changed Jim brings up the Belichick interview in the context of self awareness and how he was not self aware at all Both guys lost respect for him Mark goes back to his relationship with his girlfriend and brings up how recently he spent more time than ever at his girlfriend’s house. We have our own homes. Mark shares some frustration that came up and talks about why that might be. Then he brings up age. He specifically wants to pinpoint romantic/sexual relationships. Not platonic Mark thinks all guys want to have this discussion Jim brings up his 40 year relationship - married for 35 years Jim doesn’t believe we were meant to be together”forever”. He thinks marriage contracts should be like other licenses. Tests, updates, renewals, etc…terms and conditions He talks about renegotiating the marriage license. Reevaluate and reconsider He thinks relationships end because communication stops Mark shares his Catholic position where marriage is a sacrament which makes things a bit different Mark shares his frustration about communicating with his girlfriend as they age. Hearing and talking. Mark thinks is due to being together for 6 years and getting older Mark was saddened by the Belichick interview. How terrible the interview was to his reputation Jim thinks Belichick is at fault. Jim brings up his first hand experience with pro athletes and celebrity/praise Both guys are a bit taken aback with the lack of self awareness. What about his daughter? Mark laughs about what his daughters would say Mark thinks both people are at fault. Belichick is the older more powerful player. Mark thinks they both have ulterior motive Mark continues to be interested in the contract topic Mark feels he has a responsibility to bring up these conversation with his girlfriend and take some responsibility for the outcome Jim says calling a woman crazy is the new “C” word. He believes woman drive everything. They are the way they are due to evolution. Male and female roles and the woman’s menstrual cycle. Jim describes his view of why woman act the way they do. Mark thinks all of that is true, but…both guys know that discussion would be challenging:) Jim thinks often that women tells things that are not necessarily what they really feel Mark brings up examples of men and women who talked and set expectations before committing to one another. He thinks these discussions about expectations can make long term relationships last Jim agrees and says yes…but you also have to keep having them, adjusting and adapting. Keep discussing things as they change. Understanding the different roles id critical Also, we have more recently been confusing men and women about who they are Mark talks about his mom and dad’s divorce. He shares a few stories about their vastly different memories of different disagreements Jim likes the idea of the “vortex” Mark jokes about having had experience with “said vortex” with his ex-wife Mark feels strongly that self awareness is important and many of us don’t have it Mark thinks Belichick misses the attention. He feels we all need to adjust and replace as we age Mark recounts how he went inside to find blame with his frustration with his girlfriend and how helpful that is Jim shares a couple more stories. One friend was struggling with his marriage and the other was trying to help. He puts it in perspective of the vortex…his buddy ended up getting divorced. Beware the vortex The spell a woman has on a man Mark thinks we all have the ability to manipulate and we need to take this responsibility seriously Jim’s female friend shared an opinion that men are dumb and woman are far more complex. He feels men stay much the same and women change a lot. He defines what he feels are mens roles and women’s roles. Mark feels both people in a relationship have responsibilities to be kind and respectful Jim shares more of his opinion about roles. Mark reaffirms the differences between men and women and claims we should celebrate these differences He ends with the importance of communication and how it can make or break a relationship /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36395265

Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice 04/24/2025

Confidence Isn’t a Trait, It’s a Practice Mark introduces the topic of confidence. Self-confidence The topic originated with Jim’s interest in elitism - entitlement - self-accountability - confidence In order to be self accountable, one must be confident Jim ties in the current news events and his recent book as he frames his view of confidence. Particularly sports and business He distinguishes between confidence and the competence required to be confident Jim brings up academia. See civically Harvard…and entitlements/elitism He shares the academic idea that perfection is attainable. We both support the reality of imperfection Mark observes that confidence can be under done and over done He shares his vision of where confidence comes from. Genetic and environment. Confidence starts to develop early Jim thinks it’s all relative. People have very different perspectives on these issues of elitism and confidence Jim shares his trade background and how educated people looked down on him and made him feel less than. Jim thinks the more “educated” you are, the less wisdom you have Mark distinguishes between knowledge and wisdom. He shares his upbringing close to the Boston Ivy League and his disdain for this specific elitism Mark thinks the family is huge in it’s role of confidence building Jim moves into sports He agrees about the family influence. Jim thinks sports really emphasizes and exaggerates the importance and influence of confidence. Jim brings up the example of Eli Manning who is referenced in this book as to his mental blocks before winning They joke about the Giants-Patriots games and Tom Brady comes up as the consummate mind-body guy Mark connects all the life areas in the wheel and shares his experience when one area is operating at his peak…how the other areas benefit Mark shares his thoughts about momentum and how contgious confidence can become Marks ask about ignorance and brings up Mike Tyson as an example of this Jim references his book again and shares the idea of a mental bank where confidence can be pulled from or deposited into. Managing the highs and lows by ignoring, forgetting and living in the moment Mark thinks confident people look at failure as an opportunity to learn Expectation management is required to keep the lows land highs regulated Jim talks about how some recent wins got him a little high and he’s keeping an eye on being let down Mark recalls feeling very confident and what a great feeling it is. But, he cautions that when you get that feeling, you have two choices: I deserve this…or I’m grateful for this…and that’s a Big difference. Mark says gratitude creates a “landslide” of more confidence. Now Jim moves to the next topic from his book…the personal narrative. How the brain can produce adrenaline like a performance enhancing drug Mark shares his daughter’s experience with anxiety and fear and her overcoming the fear by facing it head on…and your confidence can return. Jim says you can reframe your fear Mark shares his story about nerves during his 12 year old Little League Allstar game. How his dad talked him down and taught him how to channel nerves Jim brings up the next topic of filters and the power of reframing your focus toward success versus failures Mark brings up his “worst case scenario” strategy. If the worst case is a loss…so what. He then shares the value of either ignoring others or paying no attention to the criticisms of others. The mental filters Persistency and patience are two other qualities Jim brings up in the context of his patents and recent successes Another point is how little we have control over as we’re trying to accomplish something. Jim also appreciates how you can view the world as happening to you or for you Mark shares his daughter’s journey to business success…and frames it over the persistence required over 20 years Then he talks about her generous reference to him as the force that kept her going when she wanted to quit Then Jim asks Mark to recount the time his daughter almost lost her business some years ago to a cease and desist order Jim believes the Government position to shut her down was just another form of elitism. Both guys think the food and drug departments in government are being fully exposed now Elitism - entitlement - self accountability - self confidence /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36296780

Frameworks: The Invisible Structures Behind A Well Lived Life 04/18/2025

Frameworks: The Invisible Structures Behind A Well Lived Life Mark shares the value of the “pregame” the guys use to prepare for the podcast He introduces the topic of frameworks How they can be good or harmful Jim shares how frameworks evolve and how ours did. Our tagline “The Imperfection Is The Perfection” Jim used this with his kids when they got frustrated with him He thinks imperfections and failures make us who we are Jim shares how when we started the podcast, we were thinking of “Civill Discourse” as a theme. Then we came upon our Wheel Of Life Jim takes us around the wheel and digs into all 5 areas of life and then some deeper topics in each area. It’s our framework and it’s very helpful in keeping us on topic and consistent. That’s what good frameworks do Jim adds that we spend a good bit of time in the center of our wheel “the self”…and all the value that comes from “self” exercises (awareness, reflection, talk…) Jim talks about how he uses our framework in all walks of life. He thinks AI will only make frameworks more important Mark shares his journey with frameworks. How structure is something humans need. He used to resist them and now leans on them hard. He thinks they help with clarity, resonance, consistency and credibility Structure and order alone make frameworks valuable Jim mentions context and calibration in the context of frameworks. He also mentions alignment Jim talks about how helpful frameworks are with his dyslexia. He appreciates how we both compliment each other Mark shares how different both guys are and how productive it makes us. He talks about the ups and downs of “structure”. They can be helpful but also restrictive Mark and Jim both appreciate the pushback and combined experience working together for so long Mark thinks he is basically an opponent of “rules” and talks about how rules stay the same even when things change. Mark gets heated about his opposition to rules just for the sake of rules Jim agrees and cites some examples of things being “out of date” Jim brings up SWOT and SOARS as frameworks. He prefers a focus on positives only. Strengths, opportunities, aspirations… What does success look like - manifest that Mark likes the optimism of the SOARS acronym Mark talks about guys and what guys feel comfortable talking about Where can men go to talk about shit - The Imperfect Mens Club baby! Mark feels like Jim’s SOARS acronym supports what we’re doling here at IMC Jim sees how Mark uses frameworks every day in everything he does professionally Jim digs a bit deeper into he idea that things change and frameworks need to change and clarity is critical. Adjustments to frameworks keeps them fresh The guys talk more about the evolution of the podcast based on investigation and changes Mark now uses frameworks for many practices during his day. Faith, work, family, exercise… Jim reflects on what happens when we focus on only one area and neglect the others. Life get imbalanced Mark reflects on Jim’s story about the wealthy woman who had no gratitude…not appreciation…no context. Politics took her down a one way street Mark lets the audience know what they can get from the guys and their frameworks. Practical experience coupled with trusted frameworks /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36221245

The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas 04/10/2025

The Freedom of Solitude: Evolving Beyond Our Old Personas Mark introduces the topics of solitude and one’s persona Jim jumps in to help contextualize this discussion Mark reads the definitions of “Persona” and “Solitude” Mark asks Jim about his trip Jim separates being alone for a few minutes from the very different version of a 7 day solo trip Jim has chosen solo trips in the last few years He reflects on how his roles and personas have changed as he’s aged He talks about not caring what others think and how freeing that is Mark reflects on the solitude that can from his divorce. He didn’t choose that but did choose how to respond to it He says he really enjoyed being alone for 10 years. He defines what he means…no committed relationship for 10 years. He talks about what solitude provided for him. Thoughts, ideas, gratitude, etc… Jim says he’s the best version of himself when he’s alone He’s grateful that his wife is supportive of these solo trips. She is encouraging now after understanding the value of solitude for her husband Jim feels that women don’t like to be alone and men are more likely to enjoy solitude Mark suggests that solitude brings out our human nature. Our true nature Jim shares the recognition of getting older. How we don’t look or feel the same as we used to He goes on to share details of his social interaction on one particular evening on the road Jim says there are many different movies going on at the same time Mark talks about looks and how young women don’t notice him any more…and it’s OK. Actually laughable Jim talks about being in the same locale at three different ages…young, a bit older and middle aged Both guys reflect on how young they feel versus how they look. It’s a wake up call every time he looks in a mirror. He talks about how he moves from one persona to the next (dad, son, pro, brother…) Jim talks about intentionally changing and updating our personal personas to remain authentic Jim thinks we hold a lot in and don’t always feel comfortable being real…vulnerable. We don’t want to offend Caring less about what other people think is critical to happiness. Moving on Jim brings up the value and contribution of giving off positive vibes Mark agrees but cautions about feeling responsible for other’s people happiness and then talks about his dad and the value of ignoring. The ability to ignore people and circumstances Mark asks Jim about turning 60 Jim reflects on some of his experiences going back to places he went to as an older man. People are in a different place, different thoughts, different worldview He shares another story on another evening on the road Mark talks about how freeing it is to be around strangers. He feels braver. Less concerned about how strangers might feel about him Jim thinks most people want to engage, but many don’t Jim shares one of his stops at a property his dad left him. How different the place and people are now versus when he was young. How different he may have been had his family stayed and not moved to CA Mark thinks turning 60 has had a big impact on both guys. 60 triggers different roles and different views, different friendships Jim reflects on how industry and society have changed. The geeks aren’t running things anymore. Domain experts and solutions are more relevant than tech skills. Tech is tools. Problem solvers are in demand Jim talks about the evolving definition of what a man is. That became confusing and we stuck with our guns. Men were men and still are We’re proud that we didn’t cave in to the woke mob Mark share his process and how he begins every consultation with self reflection and he thinks people avoid self reflection because it’s hard/difficult /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/36088525

The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality 04/03/2025

The Science of Self-Talk: How Thoughts Shape Our Reality Mark introduces the topic of the power of the mind and self-talk The idea that we now have science and data to support the value of positive talk, visualization and vibration in influencing our happiness and peace of mind Jim got the idea from Billy Carson’s appearance on Lewis Howe’s Greatness podcast Jim shares the story of how we met. He was struggling mentally and emotionally and had some evidence that concussions might be part of his challenge. In his research, he found me. He flew out to Orlando and we met. Jim tells his concussion story and the details of his journey toward a solution Jim sought a mixture of traditional medicine and alternative approaches (me) When Jim got to a point of resolution, he thought his journey was over It wasn’t. He then continued investigating. This podcast was part of it. He then share his take aways from the episode Mark ties himself in by sharing his own routine. Mark brings out the wheel and points to the self, self-awareness and self-reflection Mark shares his memory of sports psychology all the way back to little league and high school Jim talks about this…the “zone” and how Michael Jordan functioned at a different frequency than everyone else. He played in the zone Jim goes deeper into the science. Frequency and vibration Mark shares his routine, which includes, breath, visualization, meditation and pryer Small progress daily over time Jim talks about hi being an inventor. How no-one actually invents anything new…they pull stuff from the universe and calibrate and align it to make it unique and novel Mark jokes about how he used to doubt this stuff and how this stuff is mainstream now - external influences He now exercises his mind with routines daily. He is excited about having control over his own well being Jim gives an example of how our vibrations can be felt by others. We can vibrate to get others to shine Jim brings politics He shares what the leader of Iran said about Israel…it’s a mindset…an ideology and mindset He transitions into how these things come from past trauma unresolved Einstein - Life is an illusion Mark goes back to Jim’s statement about control. We can control our thoughts by doing the work. Self awareness and overcoming/surrendering our limiting beliefs Jim share his podcast guests reflection on how he changed his own life with affirmations and overcoming his own limiting beliefs Mark brings up Sam Harris - If we talked to others like we talk to ourselves, we’d get into a lot of fights. Because we are so mean to ourselves Jim brings in the power of self forgiveness thru affirmations Mark thinks history shows this work being done as far back as history is written Mark talks about the notion of control and how he didn’t feel he had control over his thoughts for most of his young life Jim feels like we are held back until we resolve these past traumas. Mark talks about how his kids started holding him accountable to his unconscious behaviors and limiting beliefs Jim also feels that objective 3rd parties are also very helpful with this stuff Jim shares the connection between stress and physical illness Mark talks about his dad’s health and emotional balance based on his faith and the absence of stress in his life based on a Higher Power Jim is somewhat envious of people that have true faith and he appreciates it more now Mark shares how important it has been for him to maintain his mental/emotional routine Mark shares his Oh God movie story Mark reminds us that we now have science to back all this stuff up Jim concludes with how our brains develop as kids through our 20’s. The guys joke about the stupidity of young men whose brains aren’t yet fully developed The clean slate of young mens brains Mark suggests that because there are so many credible sources of info on this, that we should all investigate this stuff more /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35996075

How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men 03/28/2025

How Sensitivity And Unconscious Bias Shape Us As Men We just started talking. No Intro! Mark brings up human nature. He suggests that men and women have unique natures as well He says recognizing and acknowledging human nature is necessary as part of any discussion of behavior Jim asks Mark his opinion about homosexuality Mark shares his ignorance and his opinion as well as his curiosity Mark brings up the Catholic Church Jim shares his significant skepticism about the Catholic church, but he doesn’t want to go any deeper So Mark shifts the topic to “standing”. Who has it, how we give it to people and how it impedes our progress He say we’re all judgmental and that it’s also part of human nature He brings up toxic bosses and personal accountability Jim brings up unconscious bias and the evolution of the podcast from a point of self awareness Jim shares his recent experience at a “Green build” event How did we all become “activists”? Mark says he thinks it comes from a need to belong and how human nature produces this need to belong to something Jim brings back up agency and specifically writing a book. He thinks all men have a story/book in them. Jim thinks this “contribution” need is also part of our nature Jim thinks it’s more a male than female need Mark thinks this is an interesting conversation Jim thinks men do things “in silence” and he ties that into one of the purposes of the Imperfect Mens Club Mark reflects on his own sensitivity. The disadvantages and the advantages. Jim looks for clarity about his sensitivity and Mark shares how his sensitivity has been a double edged sword Jim identifies what he thinks is the important part of being sensitive. It’s good, unless it keeps you from being functional Sensitivity and weakness are NOT the same Jim shares a story - about conversation with a woman, “don’t take it so personal”…”I take everything personal” Jim challenged her and she got a bit defensive and awkward Jim says he thinks we get softer as we age and Mark suggests some people do and some don’t You get bitter or you get better Mark loves the topic of sensitivity Jim says to be good at something you have to be sensitive to feedback Jim quotes about being respected versus liked Mark shares his experience seeing a quote from Al Capone about weakness Mark goes back to Jim’s point about being functional. Weakness is a problem when it keeps you from functioning Jim calls this “hypersensitivity” Mark shares his perspective on the different “stages” or “chapters” in his life and how he needed to adjust as life evolved He moved around a bit confused about his sensitivity Mark observes how he’s seen Jim evolve too “A good human is going to evolve” The other choice is misery. Bitter and better Jim. “We are all actors in the theater of life” Jim agrees - different roles at different stages Mark shifts to his recent “Out of body experience with a sound healing session” Both guys appreciate the topic and share their respective opinions about it Mark had 4 out of body experiences at 4 different ages of his life. He likens it to dreaming Mark was inclined to share his experience with certain friends, including Jim Mark talks about how this kind of event can be really great…or much less so Jim talks about Steve Job’s experience with meditative reflection and success Mark talks about his different reflections on different protocols of self reflection, like his breath work. He reflects on the time he went looking for a church and a yoga studio and the importance of resonating with instructors Jim shares more quotes Fast - alone. Far - go together “Don’t become addicted to your own struggles” “Everything is hard. If it’s not hard, you’re not trying hard enough Mark - “It’s the Cool thing about wisdom”. Anyone can be wise and say wise things in different ways Mark talks about getting advice from friends. Nice versus kind Jim cautions about getting advice from friends and family…”some of the worst advice you can get” Mark agrees but takes a slightly different approach. His father’s opinion about starting his own company /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35909840

The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand 03/24/2025

The Power of Agency: How Writing a Book Can Build Trust and Elevate Your Brand Mark introduces the topic of agency. Jim thinks Mark is a great example of what an agent is He reads a definition and adds some context to what an agent is and how he may, in fact, be one The value of having an objective third party negotiating on your behalf Jim thinks AI will make being an agent much more valuable He discusses the agents he uses. His patent agent, for example. Agents are not as close as we are to our capabilities and competencies Agents can be particularly helpful negotiating your price. What you’re worth He talks about his most recent projects to operate as an agent Jim shares his story about a meeting he had recently and how he’s being told he should write a book The value of having your own book He shares his “Greenbuild” story. What it’s like in the San Francisco Bay Area regarding diversity, women’s groups and other woke topics Jim thinks it would be great if we just got back to building things. Diversity on it’s own is a silly topic Jim shares his conversation with a grant writer…the importance of human interaction and how we are disconnecting from it She brought up the book writing topic Mark says he has also been told to write a book. He reflects on a couple of recent conversations. Both became about human interaction and the value of having an agent to move the professional ball forward. Objectivity alone can be very helpful. How powerful it is to have a 3rd party voice Mark talks about the value of authority/credibility that a book brings Jim asks Mark about how he works. He pokes at the details of how Mark chooses and helps people. He thinks we all underestimate our capability and willingness to help Our value goes well beyond our direct skill. Trust opens up those doors Mark shares how he has access to market data that might be worth even more than his coaching Jim cautions Mark that this knowledge is NOT FREE Second, he talks about IP and how valuable it is Jim puts on his agent cap and shares with Mark how he might be his agent Jim then goes into his opinion on AI and the creation content…podcasts, books, articles…everything Jim thinks AI create content “equality” Mark loves the contrarian approach to rules and ways of doing things Mark asks, “what am I worth?” Mark is convinced that Jim would ask for more than Mark would for himself Jim gives examples of agents we all work with Real estate agents, sports agents, career agents… He shares his pro baseball story about his friend the pro coach The $40 million dollar negotiation and the value of an agent in that negotiation Mark shares his perspective on the value of agency. He shares how helpful he can be to IT people who are mostly introverted Mark shares how candid and authentic approaches are so much more influential He shares his perspective on salespeople too Mark brings up helping friends and family and Jim cautions that they might be a little too close to help objectively Jim talks about being “unemployable” Mark shares the importance of messaging and how your “brand” fits in Jim gives us a bit more detail about his 3 recent requests for speaking/advice gigs Jim is wary of “big consulting firms” and Mark shares his perspective on this He talks about competing against big brands/logos/t-shits/reputations by being authentic and practical and trustworthy. Different ulterior motives Jim brings in the political agents who got it all wrong and are now wondering what to do next Mark shares his confusion about how these people/agents keep getting hired He also clarifies how powerful brand is and how clients without confidence hire brand simply to protect themselves. Momma duck and her ducklings Jim says the big ad agencies do the same thing Are the industries going away? If you can’t measure it, you can’t determine efficacy. Jim says AI will change this Mark - why do they hire the big known brand? It’s all changing /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35838415

Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude 03/13/2025

Finding Strength in Adversity: Navigating Suicide and the Power of Self Fortitude Mark leads with the definition of “fortitude” and “self fortitude” He suggests the one is more internal and the other more external Jim shares his recent difficult week due to 4 or 5 people he is close to are experiencing hardship. From illness to the loss of a young man to suicide Jim puts his experiences in the context of our “Flywheel of Life” “When you’re healthy you have hundreds of things on your mind. When you’re ill, you have one” Jim shares some of the challenges his friends have. His mom is in pain, his cousin has cancer and another has upcoming surgery. Finally his colleague who just lost a son to suicide Upon hearing the news, Jim thought he was seeing/hearing things…hoping it wasn’t true He shares how he responded “forgive me for what I say”…He’s in a better place…it’s difficult to be a man today…” Jim has 3 friends who have lost sons Mental illness becomes a topic of discussion Mark agrees how difficult it is to respond to such a tragedy Apologizing for the cliche, Mark reminds us that life is about how you respond…not what happens to you Jim - this is where fortitude comes in…you gotta reach deep Jim seems to feel he was helpful based on his friends response The guys discuss suicide. Is it selfish or unselfish? Mark talks a bit about his mom’s suicide. He tries to put it in perspective. How the emotional experience evolved from anger to relief to sadness to loss Jim chimes in about Mark’s story and gets perspective from it Then Mark talks about settling his mom’s estate. Prolonging the loss… Jim expounds on his comment - “It’s difficult to be a male” Mark agrees that society has challenged the notion of masculinity Mark shares that he has 4 generations to sample experience from He condemns the phrase “toxic masculinity. He talks about human nature and his experience as a man. It’s harder to be a man than it’s ever been Jim asks Mark to share some suicide stats. Biggest killer of men under 45 60 men every minute of every day 365 days a year He quotes Gabor Mate and suffering He mentions the Harvard study of men Jim brings up depression as a root cause of suffering and suicide Jim shares his own experience with depression Mark says his experience with mental illness is mostly second hand. His experience in context. How his position on mental illness has evolved and how he thinks we need to bring it more out into the open Jim says we have also lost our sense of humor and that doesn’t help. How being around people who can laugh at life is so important Mark and Jim laugh about Jim just turning 60. He says he’s thinking about doing a roast and both guys have fun with that. We can laugh at life Mark - the funeral is not for the dead. It’s for the people left behind…he attaches that to the young mans suicide. Celebrating their life and not living in sadness about the loss of Fortitude can get your through and past tragedy Mark applauds Jim’s choice of words. “Please forgive me for what I’m about to say”. How hard it is to express your sadness “he didn’t want to be here. he’s in a better place” Mark shares some perspective on how the living need to be considered. Also how sad people to present as sad Nobody Mark hopes people can take away something helpful /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35671540

Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others 03/06/2025

Unconditional Service: Navigating the Complexities of Helping Others Mark introduces the topic of serving others and connects it to the flywheel of life in the category of relationships/others. Jim brings up the wheel and discusses each of the 5 areas - Money, worldview, relationships, health and career/profession This episode is about others. Men and women He says there are two types of service and then shares his recent event KBIS in Las Vegas. He was selected as #1 membership chair in the country Two types of service are paid and unpaid He talks about the unpaid type - how different it is to serve for pay and to serve simply to serve “Unconditional” service. Helping others with no expectation of anything in return Politics comes up Service isn’t for everyone Mark shares his view of service. He distinguishes between help and service. Purpose comes with more responsibility Mark and Jim disagree about the line between paid and unpaid Jim feels like one is a transaction and one is just service. Mark thinks its more nuanced than that The disagreement between the guys is interesting Jim brings up the local church and Mark laughs. Mark feels that there is a muddled definition of service in the church Mark shares his challenge with the Catholic Church and this exact confusion with service versus transactions. They agree to disagree Jim shares a story about his trip to Vegas and the call he got from a former player. The kid is in trouble and needs Jim’s help…in the form of money Jim explains his thought process as he determines whether to help the kid - the kid needs money. He misbehaved in an airport and he now has a court date Jim walks us through the conversation he has with the kid and his suggested resolution “I don’t loan money” He deftly walks the kid through the reality of his situation and he agrees to “give” him $1400 “I don’t want you to pay me back the money” As things develop, it becomes clear that this kids future is on the line He asks the kid to call him back tomorrow so he can reflect on it. Jim concludes that without his help, the kid is fucked Jim recognizes he may never see this kid again and he may never know if his help was effective, but decides to go all in Money, help, advice, paperwork, alcohol treatment, etc… Unconditional service…or conditional? Mark shares his opinion on why he supports Jim’s process for determining whether to help. Mark supports the kids personal accountability. He agrees it’s just a bad decision and the kid deserves a break Jim goes into more detail about the circumstances. Part of which is that he is a very big and dark man. He scared people…unintentionally. His encounter with cops was verbal, not physical. He swore at the cop and got cuffed Jim sees the opportunity to get off is real…no physical confrontation Mark summarizes his assessment of Jim’s process in determining whether to help the kid or not Jim - “You can pay me back in other ways. I want your word” Mark shares the importance of wanting to be helped. This kid was ready to be helped Mark readdresses the distinction between helping and charging for help. How he struggles with this Jim asks Mark about entitlement and then wants Marks opinion on the word “petulant” Mark pulled petulant out of political behavior. Petulant, entitled people don’t take responsibility and they play victim They have a laugh about their disagreement /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35560055

How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like? 02/21/2025

How Are You Serving Others? What Does That Look Like? Jim - the most important conversation you’ll ever have is with yourself…and that person is a crazy person Jim frames service in the context of bringing a product or service to the market to help people in some ways He frames this in the context of his most recent project that he asked Mark for help with - his talk about the kitchen and bath industry Jim asks. If it’s not just money, why do we seek to serve. What’s the bigger picture Both guys feel strongly that they have something to offer the world and the world has things to offer them Our experience leaves us with knowledge and wisdom that come from that unique experience Mark brings up his faith. “God, help me out. What do you want me to be doing again?” Jim brings up his summary doc (which he creates for each episode) on which mentions God’s greater design Are you going to die with your art in you or are you committed to putting it out in the world What have you overcome and how can you share that to help others Mark talks about obstacles and how we all find ourselves in a particular seat at a particular time for some reason Mark shares his journey into the recruiting world and how he evolved into an expert in that specific space - career development Jim shares how important he thinks Mark’s work is Mark says it’s top 5 for people. He takes that responsibility very seriously Mark shares his story about helping his friend with confidence Jim says confidence is everything and it’s hard to maintain over the course of a lifetime Mark mentions his divorce in the context of confidence and how he lost it and the trip to get it back. Validation from the outside Jim “You are most able to help the person you once were” He talks about resistance - fear is self centered Why wouldn’t you share? Because you’re scared Mark shares a few stories about helping a few people overcome their fears Enough confidence to overcome his fear - to take action Mark shares how fear is now a trigger for him to keep going. It doesn’t stop him, it encourages him Jim talks about the value of solving one specific problem. What is it and why is it a problem Mark says do we help them rid themselves of the fear or do we simply help them push past it Jim reads a few more quotes. Solutions versus problems Mark asks, “if my deliverable is confidence, what does that look like?” Messaging in a noisy world What specific problem are we solving? You have to frame the problem well. Specifically and powerfully Without the problem…what does life look like…specifically. Pain and pleasure Mark shares his opinion of the SNL auditions he watched during the 50th anniversary celebration - vulnerability, fear, risk…with everything on the line Jim talks about the value of a third party testimonial/referral/recommendation Mark laughs about the irony for me teaching about this and yet having a hard time doing it himself JIm’s three “E’s” Educate, Entertain and Encourage Mark says he’s going to steal the 3 E’s Mark’s tip from a coach “tell them something they’ve never heard before that they know to be true” Jim - “Enter the conversation they’re already having with themselves” Mark shares some takeaways - specifically about asking for help Mark commits to delivering confidence Jims speaks about being known and being clear Mark agrees that most people are unclear Mark wraps up with how happy he was to help Jim “Stick your neck out there man” /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35380535

Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance 02/13/2025

Growth Is On The Other Side Of Resistance Mark introduces the topic and both guys have personal accounts of dealing with making themselves vulnerable Jim thinks that most of us don’t put ourselves out there Jim brings in our flywheel and the 5 areas of life and then uses his 5 W’s approach (Why, who, when, where and what) Mark reads the definition of self-vulnerability that Jim provides from his online searches about the topic Jim says acknowledging your strengths is easy, but sharing your weaknesses is much harder Jim shares his fear he experienced getting ready for a recent webinar presentation. He wonders why he put himself out there and pushed himself like he did. He felt humiliated and uncomfortable Mark appreciates the vulnerability and shares his perspective from the outside looking in. He shared what he thought was his role in helping Jim Jim shares Marks comments after the recording about the difference between team and individual sports Mark shares a tennis story and how it became more than tennis. It became a mental and emotional exercise. He reflects on the pride of the win Jim shares his opinion on how new things are met with resistance and growth is on the other side of the resistance Mark suggests that Jim will be happy he did it and not whether it was good or not Mark shares his vulnerable experience writing his most recent workbook. How challenging it has been to send it out and await feedback. What if they say it sucks? The voices in your head Jim shares 5 examples of self vulnerability 1. Embracing your imperfections. It’s hard to be kind to yourself. How ironic that our podcast is all about imperfection 2. Admitting your mistakes instead of denying them or blaming others. Jim has grown to appreciate people that own their own shit. Mark asks…if you don’t own it, how do you get better 3. Accepting your emotions. Process instead deny. Mark shares his daughters experience with embracing fear 4. Acknowledge your limitations (Clint Eastwood quote). Jim shares a text from his future daughter in law and expands on how aging has changed his view of his own limitations and who he surrounds himself with. Mark shares the difference between physical and emotional “finish lines”. Jim goes further into his inner voice and self reflection as a dyslexic - embarrasment. Both guys share perspectives on criticism. Mark talks about his fear of apathy versus hate. Mark’s two voices - imposter and expert. The crazy inner voice 5. Being honest about your needs. Saying no to other people and projects. You need others help with almost everything Jim talks about the effort and energy he put into his talk…and he still wasn’t satisfied. He shares his friend’s opinion on his webinar…”I know why you think it sucked…they’re fuckin hard” Mark gives both guys credit…most people won’t take the risk /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35274730

Mentorship and Volunteer Work - Just A Nudge 02/07/2025

Mentorship and Volunteer Work - Just A Nudge Today Jim and I welcome a special guest. Paul Carroll was my mentor in the start-up staffing space at the beginning of my career and he joins us today to talk about his latest work volunteering with young men in the foster care system We started recording before my introduction:). It sounded good so we decided to keep rolling. Sorry for any confusion Pauls shares his sense of urgency and the “signs” that showed up for him that got him interested in this work initially He shares how the work went from theoretical to practical Jim asks Paul if this is similar to the problem/solution approach he’s taken in business. Paul says yes, but he brought some other experiential nuance to bear Jim asks why he’s doing it. Paul explains how his life has evolved to make this available to him. It’s time and he feels he can make an impact Jim mentions how being independent allows us to do this “non-profit” work. An dhow important it is for kids to have a purpose Paul shares his son’s squash career and how he brought in his foster kids to the program and how those cultures mixed and mingled He’s found that other similar organizations have been interested in him sharing his approach as well Paul shares some details of his upbringing. How he was raised by a “village” along with his mom Jim reflects on the multicultural nature of Paul’s group of kids and how what they look like just doesn’t matter. Paul shares how diverse his hiring always was, because it was about results, not appearances. He emphasizes the importance of people’s childhoods in determining how to motivate and challenge them Jim brings Mark into the discussion. Mark shares his relationship with Paul and how they’ve reconnected. He talks about mentorship and reads a definition Mark reflects on the similarities of what Paul is doing now to what he’s always done Mark met Paul when he was 26. He shares how they met and started working together The guys joke about Paul being “nice” or “kind” and the simplicity of his approach Then Jim asks Paul about Mark. Paul shares his opinion of Mark’s strengths and contextualizes their beginning in the early 90’s in Orlando, FL Jim asks Paul if his eye for talent transfers into his assessment of his current group of foster kids. Paul says yes it does. A little direction and hand holding. Some kindness, patience and mentorship coupled with some activities is sometimes all these kids need Jim asks Mark to read the definition of wisdom and then asks Paul what he thinks. He sees wisdom as life experience and travel experience. Been there, done that. I see the fork and if you go that way, it’s not going to be pretty Paul put’s life in perspective and reflects on his mother’s advice. No regrets. He learned that early. Pauls says he has things he still wants to do, but he has no regrets Mark shares Pauls testimonial about the podcast and his son’s enjoyment of it Mark reflects on Paul’s influence and in particular how to be in a moment. Paying attention and recognizing when you’re in a moment and how simplicity plays a role in success Jim shares our wheel and then lists some of our “self” lists. He teaches his boys self respect and feels strongly that this is the key. Everything is temporary and life is a series of choices. If you maintain your self respect, everything else will come to you. Look at life through your own eyes /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/35193685

Have We Just Left A "Bygone Era"? 01/23/2025

Have We Just Left A "Bygone Era"? Episode 3 Bygone Era Mark introduces the topic for this episode. The notion of there being a bygone era. Jim suggested the topic given the current political landscape and the guys explore other applications of the notion in life Mark reads the Google definition Jim comes in and suggests that we have entered a new era. He brings of his 5 W framework and the concept of self awareness (Who,what,when,where and why) Jim cites The Biden administration and his cronies being part of this “bygone era” He claims everyone wants to remain relevant Mark recalls his start in recruiting and how technology and communication has evolved since then. How important self awareness is to stay current Jim brings up sports - coaches are aging out. Specifically Andy Reid of the Chiefs and Bill Belichick as examples JIm reflects on Joe Biden’s legacy is sad Mark mentions his brother’s retirement and says Biden is retiring. Jim says no…he got fired We’re all gonna retire someday. Jim says at some point it’s time to pull back. He reminds us of how our adult children keep us honest and current Mark reflects on his appreciation for Jim’s candor in disagreeing with him The value of hanging out with people who are kind, not nice. Jim agrees and shares his opinion as to why this is Jim’s quote - “You can’t kill a thought. It has to die of old age or natural causes” He cites the military as an example and then brings up all the “thoughts” that have recently died of natural causes DEI, etc… Mark reminds us of Vince Lombardi type coaching as well as old leadership styles involving giving orders Jim shares his personal coaching experiences with WWII trained coaches. Football and the military. Then he shares how he’s seen the new coaching style emerged starting with Bill Walsh. His approach was more intellectual Mark brings up the current concussion protocol and how it used to be getting your bell rung and smelling salts Jim talks about rising to the top and how that exposes you to criticism. Some people can handle this and most can’t. Biden couldn’t Mark shares his daughter’s experience reaching the top of her profession and the pressure. The price you pay for being on top What chapters have closed? It’s time to move on and many won’t want to. They’ll cling to the bygone era as if it’s not yet bygone Jim brings up Hollywood as an example of a group who won’t likely move on Mark clarifies that just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t meant mean you are good at anything else. Jim and Mark reflect on Hollywood in the 40’s and 50’s versus today. Old stars went to war. Athletes went to war. Today the stars are pampered and can hide from their lack of credibility The guys get deeper into how things used to be. Patriotism and service…is this a bygone era? Jim shares his story about the Japanese soldier (Hiro Anoda) who fought for 30 years after the war was over because he couldn’t believe it was over. Are we fighting wars that don’t exist Mark shares how he fought his divorce battle far past when he should have stopped “Doesn’t it take two people to fight?” What if you just stopped? Jim shares a similar story about a good friend of his. “You need to create your own rules. Create a whole new game” Sometimes we stop being served by our old rules and we need to change Jim shares another story about his current high school’s football team and how dramatically some rules have changed…the world has changed…it’s a bygone era Mark ends with his stubborn Starbucks policy story:) /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/34984925

Where Our Belief Systems Come From 01/16/2025

Where Our Belief Systems Come From Mark introduces the episode about belief systems in the context of the fires in Southern California Remember…Jim is a California native still living in the Bay Area and Mark has lived in Florida since 1990 Two very different perspectives and responses to natural disasters! Jim says it’s personal because he has friends and family in the fire zone He brings in our tag line and framework. He says we’ll try and find some good in all of it. He cites our 5 areas with focus on worldview Jim share some of his preparation for the episode. He asks Mark to read the definition of “belief systems” Then Jim goes into his 5 W’s (Why,what,who,when,where) The power of self awareness and where all this is going politically, nationally and locally Mark suggests that he sees two things. The national presence and the local presence. Nationally we are tiring of a lack of leadership. Locally we are still flexing against our national leadership. One side is focused on resolution and prevention, the other side is focused on climate change. Mark thinks it’s absurd and Jim agrees. He’s confused about how different people can see different things. He’s disgusted with the climate change narrative and Governor Newsome. He asks, “what is the government’s role?” Jim shares how CA used to be the best in the world at innovation and irrigation. The Central Valley back to the Gold Rush “Cal doesn’t have a water problem, we have a water management problem” He asks how this is happening? The environmentalists have positioned animals as more important than human Mark says it’s delusional. Jim says it’s the whole Democrat party belief system JIm says the spin is coming…this is a climate crisis and we need to double down. He believes the opposite is true Mark shares how personal involvement can change how we feel about tragedy. He thinks the fact that rich celebrities are touched by this might shift people’s belief systems away from climate change Jim cites the homelessness these fires have created - how crazy it is that we give free shit to illegals and now these Americans won’t get free assistance of any kind…$$millions$$ Mark brings it back to belief systems. He brings up the 3 top leaders in the discussion - they all sought blame as an initial response. Personal accountability versus blame Jim asks…can you change your belief system? Mark says yes…if you have a story of change that makes sense Jim shares the perspective of his childhood and how unique those belief systems were…and why. Mark agrees it’s generational Mark reflects on his childhood and accountability. Both guys agree. Jim shifts to how our professions affect us and the media as well Mark shares his story about not watching the news. Jim challenges Mark’s position and adds his two cents Mark and Jim share dad stories…the newspaper Today we have info overload assaulting our belief systems Jim mentions Notre Dame and Mark sheds his light on how ND has mishandled woke /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/34885970

The Post Election Paradigm Shift 01/09/2025

The Post Election Paradigm Shift Mark introduces Episode 1 of Season 4 with the topic of a paradigm shift. A shift in the way the country is moving with the election of Donald Trump and the push back against “woke” Jim introduces the wheel and worldview as a likely connection to the topic. He believes the shift is well on it’s way and we can see and hear evidence of it as more people open up post election Jim has some examples and topics he wants to discuss The first one is COVID What did covid change - communication Second is BLM/DEI. Neither were sustainable Third is The 2024 election 4th is Artificial Intelligence Mark grabs on to Covid and tells his COVID story. He then acknowledges that the government has been misleading us for years He reflects on “knowing” early and has some other covid insights He starts to love to DEI and Jim steps in with some more Covid “It wasn’t Covid, it was the government’s response to Covid”. Now we have data. It can’t be political anymore. We have data. He gives the politicians some credit, but says it quickly evolved into an abuse of power. He cites some Blue governors that developed into this grander mistrust of government Next Mark goes hard at BLM/DEI. He shares his inside insights from inside talent acquisition and his disdain for DEI. Mark gets a little hot Jim says it’s become math. A paradigm shift and more loss of trust Jim says it’s way beyond government. CEO’s sucked up to them Mark’s insulted with the hypocrisy Jim cites the Harvard president and other academics who got booted Mark thinks it was like dominoes. Maybe Covid was the first domino…but once it fell…. Mark goes off again on how people who were silent are now talking. It’s both frustrating and liberating. He thinks it’s progress Jim talks about collusion with the tech companies. Information/disinformation. He cites Matt Taibi and some other brave souls who spoke out. Mark says they’re heroes. It was like the Salem Witch Hunt Jim shares some of the other major issues we were lied to about Jim gives Mark credit for “It’s always about politics” and then gets deeper into the lying Mark wants to know when things begin to unravel, how people explain themselves. Jim says it’s happening already. Canada, Germany and Italy Mark says everyone was waiting for the US to move first. Now we have…and the dominoes are falling. Mark’s a bit confused. New info, new data…where’s it all going? It’s crazy Jim brings up the fire in CA - it’s personal because Jim has relatives living there and he had other family lose property in the Oakland fire. Mark acknowledges his daughters experience in Asheville Jim’s relatives are safe. Jim says we don’t know yet. The trickle down…homes, schools, futures?? Mark wants to blame Newsome, but says we don’t know enough yet Mark thinks maybe we should question everything more. More rigorous challenges of statements Jim thinks the amount of information we receive now changes the demands on our thinking and how we process information Mark agrees but says we still need the rigor…it’s just harder Jim says we won’t ever trust the media and the politicians again Mark observes the behavior of the Left. Those who want to get in Trumps’ way or become his best friend. Watching people become who they really are…fascinating Jim shares his opinion about people in power who jump to a new team just to survive Mark distinguishes between those who change with reason and those who simply shift with the wind…fuck those people Jim brings Mark Zuckerberg back into the discussion to observe how people can change. More experience as a human and as an owner Mark talks about his experience with technologists - pretentious and a bit better than thou…holier than thou Laws for you and not for me Mark ends with “I’m thoroughly confused but optimistic” Happy New Year!! /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/34789220

AI...What The Hell Do We Know? 12/24/2024

Planning For What's Next - What Would Jim Rohn Do? 12/20/2024

Planning For What's Next - What Would Jim Rohn Do? Hey all. We began with a New Years, year-end, goal setting theme within the context of some JIm Rohn quotes What we ended up with is an in depth reflection on Jim Rohn's wisdom and how much of it might be very helpful as we plan for what's next ---------------- Mark leads with year-end, new year and goal setting as topics. The context is the wisdom of Jim Rohn. Our Jim loves Rohn and brought some quotes as foundations for our episode Jim says it’s the past, present and future approach He reflects on being in sales and the goal setting and metrics of sales Jim shares his opinion of Jim Rohn and how timeless his wisdom is Jim says 2024 was a year of real change and events that will shape us forever. Decisive AI, new administration, mainstream news failing… Two Rohn quotes… “Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better” “To get what you want, you give others what they want” Mark says wisdom is wisdom and if it’s helpful, you’ll find it in all works (Twain, Stoics, Bible…) Jim brings up Rohn’s optimism and patriotism. The value of hard work and possibilities Mark brings up that hope, optimism and wisdom are choices. You seek them or you don’t Mark read’s Jim G’s Rohn quotes Formal education and self education. Jim describes his own self education journey. Mark reflects on his experience with education and quotes Twain. Education became indoctrination Control - “Either you run the day or the day runs you”. Jim brings in our wheel framework and the self (awareness and control). Mark shares how all the “Selfs” work together Discipline - “Success is nothing more than a few disciplines practiced every day”. Mark frames this as “showing up” Prepared, on time, with a good attitude. Mark reflects that all the good stuff is hard, but it’s simple. Jim brings up sports and how critical showing up is, not just talent. He then cites the high cost of being the best. Mark brings up his father and brother being pilots The Pain Of Discipline - Choosing discipline or choosing regret. Jim shares “I’d rather die in my world than live in someone else’s with regret”. Better or bitter. Mark talks about his regrets in terms of how he processes his regrets. Jim - Life is hard and if it’s not, you’re not trying hard enough” Mark tells his “Get A Helmet” story Jim says it dangerous to tell kids that things should be easy. Mark reflects on “rub some dirt on it” and “No pain no gain”. The Vince Lombardi era Mark asks about the happy medium between pain and fortitude Walls - The walls we build around us to keep sadness out, also keep the joy out Jim has one more… If you don’t design your own plan… Peoples problems are always more important than yours Mark recommends Jim Rohn, Mark Twain and the Stoics /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/34552665

Know Thyself - The Magic Of Self Awareness 12/12/2024

Know Thyself - The Magic Of Self Awareness Mark introduces the topic of self awareness. He shares that their “pregame” discussion was very self reflective. He suggests that the time of year, as well as some other personal events from Jim’s life and Mark’s have the guys a bit mired in self reflection and self awareness Mark reads a couple of quotes Jim brought to the recording. One secular (Stoic) and one Biblical (Thomas) Jim shares some context for his quotes and shares his position on self awareness and what’s going on in his life Jim reflects on yesterday being the 5 year anniversary of his father’s death. He says to really understand yourself, you have to go back in time. Family history and stories. Jim came across some photos of his dad he’d never seen before. Then he reflects a bit on his grandparents (4 grandparents/four quadrants - that shape you) Jim asks about Mark’s conversation with his dad and comments about “peeling back Jim’s onion” He talks about piling multiple issues all on top at once and how that makes tough stuff even tougher Are we getting more “Imperfect” or more self aware Mark shares his mom and dad’s influence and then describes his memories of his grandfathers…not from memory but from stories Jim returns to our fathers and specifically his relationship with his father. How he has gained appreciation and gratitude for his dad since his death. Jim also suggests that he’s grown too Mark gives Jim kudos for being personally accountable with all these things for being responsible for his response to hardship and challenge. Learning from his experiences Mark shares that his dad also had 10 brothers and sisters too. Both guys are also middle children Mark shares his self image Jim shares another saying/quote about virtues and vices They discuss both. Jim thinks we all strive to be the best versions of ourselves Mark reflects on being fathers of young adult kids and what fathers face as their kids get older - more people more problems How to navigate these additional relationships. They joke about the meaning of love and different types of love Intimacy, jealousy, all the emotions Mark says it’s also a function of the time of year Jim shares his experience going through the photos of his dad. He got them touched up - colorized and they came to life. He reflects about how his father tried to discuss these things with Jim when he was younger Mark brings up his mom’s suicide and how his feelings have evolved as time has gone by. For his kids too Mark says self awareness enables us to address and feel these things Jim asks Mark to speak more about his mom. Mark talks about his younger brother and how he feels like he inherited his troubles from his mother Mark goes deep on his mom’s suicide story. How he went from anger to sadness to forgiveness and empathy/love Mark is grateful for her now. He sees her asa troubled soul Jim says we’re all troubled souls Mark thinks there are two types of people. Melancholy and not melancholy Jim asks about Mark’s father. Mark says his dad was the exact opposite. He shares his parents divorce and some of the details Jim asks more about Mark’s mom. Did he recognize his mom’s condition when he was young Mark oversimplifies the impact his parents had on his 3 siblings and himself. He shares some suicide and addiction reflections Jim begins to wrap up and Mark adds a takeaway We are all going through stuff. We’re not alone Mark loves the 4 quadrant approach of your 4 grandparents Jim reflects on how this episode relates to our flywheel Relationships and worldview As our family members get older…more episode material:) /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/34412730

The Holidays - More People More Problems 12/06/2024

The Holidays - More People More Problems Mark introduces the episode and frames it around the holidays, the challenges therein and the notion that “the more people the more problems” Jim says the topic is timely and he connects it to our flywheel of life…all starting with the self. He shares his opinion on the more people topic and heightened emotions Mark adds New Years and all the prep before the holidays. He cites the pressure the woman are under Jim laughs about being through 50 of these. He says it means more, the younger you are…we’ve seen this movie Mark talks about the evolution from childhood to present holiday state. The expectations are so different. Mark says, as a guy, he doesn’t really care about the details Jim brings up the idea of more than one family…more chaotic Jim goes around the wheel, starting with money. Mark tells some stories about traveling versus staying at home Jim mentions health. Physical and mental. Everybody gets a little crazy. Mark cites anxiety. You don’t know what might happen. Alcohol comes out… Mark jokes about dietary restrictions. He tells about the football game we played and how snow and alcohol changed it and then it stopped Mark talks about being the boss versus being on holiday. No rules or systems Jim talks about gifts he gave his clients for the holidays Mark brings us back to today. This past holiday and how fragmented the family unit is now Jim shifts to relationships and the difference between men and women during the holidays Next is worldview. Politics and childhood Red team and blue team Religion and nationality Mark goes back to the men and women thing. Parade versus the football game. How it was when he was a child Back to worldview. Mark thinks people can’t avoid these topics. Jim says it’s why he went to Mexico:). 85 and sunny…no political drama 30 days later we have Christmas coming up. Jim says Xmass is better. More festive. Both guys share Christmas stories. Comparison. Who has what and who makes what… Mark talks about forming new traditions as his family evolved and changed Mark shares his holiday ZOOM call with his kids and more traditions and stories Jim shares his Santa suit tradition and some related stories Then Mark shares his “Santa’s coming” bells Manipulative and fun at the same time. The guys talk about when the kids figure out Santa Mark brings up religion as things evolved and how different faiths come in Jim brings up midnight Mass and hook ups. Catching up and reconnecting…and more fights Mark brings up the anticipation of the New Year. A new start. New Years resolutions All the emotions. Guilt, anxiety, disappointment. The New Year adds to the emotional whirlwind Mark ends with how important being in the moment is during all the holiday chaos Jim ends with gratitude /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/34320955

Life Is One Big 80/20 Rule 11/21/2024

A Letter To Your 21 Year Old Self 11/14/2024

A Letter To Your 21 Year Old Self Mark introduces the episode and reflects on the “pregame” discussion with Jim. Jim is giving a speech in a few days to a group or around 60 to 80 college students at San Jose State in the dept of Design and construction and he wants to give them career advice and life advice to help them with the transition from school to life Jim brings the wheel into play and shares some context for his upcoming talk. Who the audience is and the topics to be discussed Jim expands upon the idea of the letter he recommends students write or could write to be read later in life Jim starts to talk about the types of advice that might be helpful to this audience His first tip is mentorship. One of Mark’s favorite topics 90% of life is jus showing up - Jim goes into great detail about what showing up means. On time, all the time and prepared with a great attitude. That is hard to do Mark loves the simplicity of it. He asks Jim to clarify who is writing the letter to whom. Two audiences. The elder to the 21 year old and the 21 year old to himself Jim likes the question. He thinks it’s both too Jim says it’s both what you “should” do, but also what you “should not” do. He wants to be cautious with giving advice. Sending kids down the wrong path…so he chooses to give wisdom instead of advice Mark chimes in in agreement. He says advice is more likely to be presumptuous and wisdom is timeless. He cites how effective experience and stories are more so than advice. He specifically speaks to people about crafting their own stories before engaging the market Jim shares his opinion about preparing kids for socialism and then releasing them in to capitalism…and wonder why they fail He then brings up being American first. He says anything is possible if you show up as a working American. America is a meritocracy, not a bunch of identity groups. Just be good at something Mark wishes he could attend Jim’s an event as a fly on the wall Mark reflects on a do-over. Find out how to work hard and then spend the rest of your life learning how to work smarter. More efficiently and delegation of things you don’t like and don ’t do well Jim brings in some quotes “Success is a combo of hard work, showing up and luck” If you don’t show up…nothing will happen People like to help people, but you need to be “referable” Mark shares how he found his mentor…by being referable What is referable - dependable, punctual, productive, trustworthy… Jim says at 21 all you have is your potential. Mark’s mentor saw his potential and Mark was willing to follow his mentor’s advice’ Jim clarifies that Marks mentorship was a win for all parties. Mark learned and progressed and his mentor made a lot of money Ark says, no one is entitled to anything ‘Im says, give yourself permission Jim’s quote - “The harder I work, the luckier I get” Mark loves the simplicity Einstein - Life is an illusion. It’s all perspective Mark says you can create your own luck…by responding well to what happens to you Don’t blame. Get better Mark loves the quotes. He brings in the notion of time and how we have no notion of time when he was young. Now time is a an extremely valuable asset. Hindsight is 20-20 Jim says we had time in our youth…and now we’re running out of time Life is a marathon. Small incremental change over time Jim speaks of self awareness. You don’t know everything…you don’t know much. “We are all actors in this movie called life…) Mark jokes about Candid Camera. Jim thinks we all have a default movie genre. Romance, comedy, thriller, etc… Mark says his is comedy, but comedy is not always appropriate. Jm talks about being identified as from the Northeast because of what he looks like. Mark says he is also direct unlike most Californians Jim talks about the influence that “Rocky” had on him as a kid Jim says in life it’s often not what you do…it’s what you don’t do He talks about working things out as a kid with his fists and how that does n’t serve you as you age “Never accept criticism from anyone from whom you would not seek advice” Mark says not to allow strangers to get under your skin. “What the fuck do I care what you think of me?” Jim wants his audience to Get at least one good takeaway Be careful with the advice you give out to young people Be the best version of yourself All comparison leads to misery Mark agrees and has fallen back on observations and reflections and telling stories instead of telling people what to do. Stories prompt reflection and critical thought The power of a third party story /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/33932372

The Election - What Happened And What Do We Do Now? 11/07/2024

How Simple Words Can Influence Effective Persuasion 11/01/2024

How Simple Words Can Influence Effective Persuasion Mark introduces the topic of communication and within that general topic, the subtopic of persuasion. He then emphasizes the value of having a framework. He puts our framework in perspective Jim chimes in about the idea of having a framework and emphasizes the IMC framework Jim shares his 5 W’s framework and how helpful it has been for him in a variety of projects. How it adds perspective for both parties He shares the value of effective people being clear Jim asks Mark about his framework Mark shares his childhood influences around communication and then his framework What do you say? How do you say it? To whom do you say it? When do you say it? Both guys agree they made their frameworks theirs…no matter where it came from Mark brings up the image Jim shared and begins to share the examples of lazy responses versus helpful responses The guys dig into examples of how powerful specific words are and how changing a word can change the tone of the whole conversation Problem versus “opportunity” or “challenge” All the specific examples from Jim’s image become the conversations Each example uncovers how simple shifts, different words change the whole tone and emotion of the conversation Both guys share their experience with each example and how they have both made the mistake of using the lazy language and relearned the helpful response They both emphasize the importance of not apologizing. Never apologize unless you’ve done real wrong Mark shares - don’t say, “to be honest with you”. “Frank” or Jim’s option “transparent” They discuss transparency as a double edged sword “I’m too busy” means I’m too busy for you They both have a laugh about “too busy” “That’s not my” job versus, “let me get you to the right person” Mark shares his mentor’s story about personal accountability “I’ll try” versus “I’ll take care of it”. Jim has a different angle on this one Mark frames it as personal accountability. I won’t dismiss you, we’ll get it taken care of Apologizing comes up again and both guys reiterate the problem with saying you’re sorry Jim uses “I own that one”. “That one’s on me”. Take ownership Mark - “sorry never works for me unless you really fucked something up” Mark shares some media examples of how apologies become bigger problems Jim says behaviors are more important than words - Mark agrees The next example is disagreement - “You’re wrong” versus “I have a different perspective on this than you and I’d like to share it with you” Jim cites people who actually enjoy conflict to garner attention “This might sound stupid but…” versus “Let’s try this.” Naysayers are everywhere Jim agrees as an inventor he always shares new ideas…the value of reframing ideas until consensus is established Mark brings up Jordan Peterson talking about Elon Musk and comparison (Elon’s roommate story) Jim - All comparison leads to misery Jim shares “I have an hypothesis” versus a theory. An hypothesis is designed to be challenged…designed to be criticized He shares the difference between an hypothesis and a theory A theory has been proven. An hypothesis has not yet been proven “No worries”… “I’m happy to help” Both guys discuss the nuance of this one Mark feels like “no worries” is kind of a throw away They conclude that this whole exercise is an exercise in self awareness The final example is recommending something to someone ‘I think maybe we should” versus “I recommend we do this…” Jim says “I think” makes him feel like “Why should I listen to you” Mark finishes with his 4 pronged framework He confirms that listening and asking questions before speaking is almost always the best strategy Jim finishes with the value of clarifying assumptions, discussing desired outcomes, “who, not how” and what are the necessary resources? Mark shares his support of this as authentic…for both parties /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/33735077

Self Interest, How Transparency Wins The Day 10/25/2024

Self Interest, How Transparency Wins The Day A we suggested in the episode, we want to encourage anyone who is interested and able to contribute to my daughter Caroline’s Go Fund Me campaign in support of documenting the devastation that hit Asheville, NC (where she lives) recently with her creative partners in the form of a documentary. Details can be found here - https://gofund.me/8fcfe6fa Thanks for your support!! ———————— Mark introduces the topic of self interest and suggests that it might be valuable to flush out each party’s self interest before engaging another, regardless of the nature of the engagement. Then he tosses it back to Jim before engaging people in conversation. Jim talks about introducing the idea of our podcast to others and describes how he explains it to people He then reflects on how everything we do starts with self. He identifies our target market (middle aged men). He shares his thoughts on self interest in particular and how he tries to establish self interest He feels this helps with transparency and honesty Mark reflects on his sales journey and how he was coached to hide his self interest. He has evolved into a more transparent approach Jim chimes in about his sales career and the evolution of how he handles self interest Both guys reflect on their evolution from selling in the 80’s versus where they on now. They were taught to hold their cards close to the fence Mark shares his reflection on the movie Glengarry GlenRoss. And Alec Baldwins “ABC” approach Jim says he doesn’t miss that approach at all Mark says you can make money with the hard sell, but not long term with the same clients. It’s a churn and burn Mark reframes how he approaches sales and coaching today. Goodwill and referrals It used to be “I win if you lose”. Now it’s win win Jim suggests that our young folks (30’s) today have better bullshit detectors and they won’t tolerate a lack of transparency Jim’s approach now is understanding how every party can win Mark tells a story about his dad’s hand shake deal over a loan - there’s always been room for transparency Jim tells his patent attorney story and how the final bill was much higher than expected - how he resolved the issue with both parties happy and the relationship in tact Jim shares that both parties taking ownership for the solution was critical to the success of the engagement Jim says he is much better at establishing assumptions, self interest and expectations before moving deeper into a negotiation or discussion Marks says we often assume that others see the world the same way we do. He relates a story about his son and “getting things in writing”. Things change post agreement. Nothing is static. Things should be readdressed continuously over time Jim distinguishes between knowledge and wisdom. Experience breeds wisdom. The world needs wisdom, not knowledge Mark says most of his wisdom comes from mistakes and failure. He says execution is what he needs most Jim wants to leave discussions with understanding, not power. He doesn’t know everything. No one does Mark brings up the topic of what words mean. His example is abortion. He shares the different nuances with this particular topic Jim jumps in and suggests that “I don’t want to talk about abortion”. Are you having the wrong conversation with the wrong person at the wrong time. “I don’t want to talk about that”. Back to self interest One has to be self aware about what who wants to talk about Mark jokes about the pregame conversation with Jim about the topic of health. Jim tells stories about different friends who ramble o. About their own ailments Mark bring his daughter and he being able to help everyone…but not if they’re not ready. You can’t people who don’t want to be helped ——————— Jim asks Mark to share his daughter’s campaign to help Asheville, NC recover from the devastation from the hurricane by producing a documentary The guys try to frame the situation and make a link available to help fund the project Here is the link again - https://gofund.me/8fcfe6fa /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/33612342

Leaving Your Legacy By Propping Up Your Community 10/18/2024

Leaving Your Legacy By Propping Up Your Community Mark introduces two topics. Community and legacy He shares that they skipped last week because of the two hurricanes and tells the listeners that everyone was safe in his family and how the communities came together Why we can get along and be supportive in times of hardship, yet we are divided in times of peace Mark says we’re not as divided as the media portray us. Mark says if we all got together, we wouldn’t need the government…and that scares the hell out of the government Jim says he’s grateful everyone is OK. He compliments Mark on his ability to not show anxiety Jim speaks about anxiety in general. Common anxiety. Anxiety brings people together It’s human nature. He asks Mark to read the definition of anxiety Mark shares a story about his son during the storm and how, without power, he came outside to help Jim says it’s a perfect example of how anxiety can bring us together Jim relates to the flywheel - health- mental health. He says the best way to handle anxiety is to have a conversation. Anxiety means you’re not present Mark relates the community effort and how healing it was Mark gives his opinion about why he handles anxiety the way he does Jim says it’s not what happens to us it’s how we respond and then he transitions into legacy Mark brings up the movie Poseidon Adventure and Gene Hackman - Great legacy story Jim says it’ not just hurricanes..the political landscape approaching a presidential election They acknowledge Asheville NC where Mark’s daughters and girlfriend daughter lives (everyone is ok) Mark says the reason the current “regime” is nervous is because what they disasters are showing is that when we all get together…we don’t need the government…and that scares the shit out of the people in power Jim agrees and brings up taxes - it’s an insurance policy. We pay you and you protect us…and they have not Jim brings up his hometown near Oakland CA where the government has taken the money and not delivered the services And we’re supposed to trust the government again? Mark asks, why is this, why now? We have SO MUCH media. Regardless of political stance. So much noise. Anxiety comes from the noise Jim shares a high school football story from this past weekend. Pregame pictures:) Mark says there is only 1 MVP He shares his frame of reference 1928 to 2024. 7 or 8 presidents. Their opinions have context Jim says the kids were as interested in their pictures as they were in winning the game Mark says. What’s important? It’s ass backwards Jim says the parents don’t know what to do either and CA is passing laws about cell phones in class Jim says the government can play a role, but another law that schools can’t suspend students anymore. Now way more kids are misbehaving. Also the $900 theft law is still in place Mark asks how long will this most recent tragedy be remembered in the context of community Mark transitions into legacy and asks when one should start thinking about legacy Jim asks that we define legacy and both guys clarify their individual positions on legacy Jim shares some thoughts about his own current anxiety about an upcoming speech he’s to give tomorrow and his most recent provisional patent recently submitted in the context of legacy and anxiety Mark thinks having a legacy is a form of personal accountability Mark shares his Little League All Star anxiety and his dad’s reply Jim shares a Sylvester Stallone story Jim says there is such a thing as healthy anxiety Jim asks Mark what he would say to his 30 year old self Mark says it’s difficult at 30 to think about being 60. Legacy is what the people say about you when you’re gone. Mark wishes Jim good luck with his speech /episode/index/show/imperfectmensclub/id/33508537

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