What Life Teaches Us About Self-Discovery - Reflection, Humility, and Belonging

Mark introduces the topic of Self discovery  He frames the topic with Carl Jung’s definition of what happens in life when we reach the age of 60 and then shares additional context about the beginning, middle and tail end of life and how we can “rediscover” ourselves many times over the course of our lives

Jim views life in 5 and 10 year “stages”. He doesn’t think everyone goes thru self discovery exercises and then he brings the flywheel framework for context. He shares his research for this episode. He appreciates his solitude as an example of his self discovery and how the world gets smaller as we age

Mark chimes in saying he agrees that not everyone goes thru continuous self reflection and he share his “career” angle. He says most everyone he engages with starts with self reflection and self awareness. He thinks it’s helpful to understand that others are evolving all the time and recognizing that can make us more empathetic. Jim agrees that context is important. Understanding the unique experience of others is important. Us “old” guys talk more than the younger generation

Mark talks about wanting to share his wisdom with younger people

Jim asks Mark to share the 5 areas of self discovery he came upon in his research. The beginning stage is the time where we develop our ego and how we develop it. Jim brings up the idea that developing your confidence is very important. He talks about his own family in terms of ego and self promotion. Both guys talk about how their families handled self promotion and celebration. How we now self promote and how that is contradictory to how we were raised. Jim shares his opinion on self promotion and personal branding

Mark moves the discussion into phase 2. Predominantly living for others. Kids, bosses, spouse…Then it shifts. No kids, divorce, health…Menopause, aging. Mark thinks his marriage went south because communication stopped

Jim talks about the unique experiences of women and how some of them deal with this turning point. When the nest empties, the conversation changes. Jim has developed a newfound appreciation for the female experience

Mark thinks the key is self reflection and then communication

Mark brings up the next stage…fitting in

Jim grabs the conversation. He says everybody wants to belong. The wounded child. He talks about how we suppress our childhood wounds. How we can avoid them or address them. How we try to address them and how we all experienced the same time of life as very different memories. Mark talks about the difference between the eldest child and the youngest child. Ultimately it’s not what happens to you, it’s how you respond. Jim brings up self talk. Mark shares his opinion about his inner voice. Jim reminds us that the imperfection is the perfection. IMC. Mark brings up church and sinners. Jim chimes in about sinning

Mark moves to the accumulation of experiences as phase 4. Jim thinks humility is a profoundly important human trait and that we all should aspire to being humble. Mark talks about his experience evolving into a more humble person. Both guys share their opinions on hardship and humility. Mark brings up his 60th birthday and his panic attack. He made a decision to try and figure that shit out and how he has evolved. “A return to the soul”

The last phase of “simply being one’s self”

Mark brings up legacy. Jim shares his opinion about the difference between men and women about legacy

Mark talks about his dad and his end of life upcoming as he turns 97 in a few weeks

Jim brings up Marks mom and her suicide and then shares his experience with his dad’s passing. Looking over his birth and death certificates and reflecting on the reality of his timeline and where the world was at those times

Mark shares his perspective on how we might help and learn from those who are younger as well as those who are older