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Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 09/04/2025

Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps show art Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps

Imperfect Mens Club

I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it. What we cover Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval. Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition. Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily...

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Imperfect Mens Club

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Mark introduces the topic of the subconscious mind and the emotion of self doubt. He cites the science that shows we are driven by our subconscious. Somewhere between 85 and 95% of our actions are from subconscious memory Jim shares his opinion about how this topic fits into our wheel. He aligns the discussion to the wheel. He heard a podcast that talked about self doubt and money. He quotes the podcast and agrees with Marks incite into the science of the subconscious. Mark talks about his frame of reference being the people he knows that have varying degrees of emotional balance. Happy people...

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Imperfect Mens Club

Mark brings up the topic of frameworks and mentions Jim’s recent adoption of hi “5M Framework” Manifesto Methodology Mentality Machine Mindset Jim found a manifesto that Mark had written 2 years ago while preparing to do some promotion of the podcast and he ties that in to the IMC framework. Our 5 areas of life flywheel Jim shares that the actual topic came from my being 1 minute late (I’m never late). Jim then goes over our flywheel of life framework and the 5 areas. He reflects on where he was in life when we first met. He was out of sorts and seeking answers. Then he talks about his...

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Imperfect Mens Club

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Imperfect Mens Club

Mark introduces the topic of one’s self narrative. He says you either take personal responsibility or seek blame. Mark reads the definition. He says it’s important to know what you can and can’t control. Jim relates the topic to the wheel. The self’s in the center. Jim says he’s been more aware of the self narratives of other people he’s encountered. He thinks conflict in this country is at an all time high. Jim brings up a recent encounter where trust was lost. He feels like he’s being judged as a white man. He said that this encounter was unnecessary. Mark thinks we’ve made...

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Mark introduces the deep dive Jim took into the writing of Carl Jung and the specific topic he writes about - self talk Mark thinks most us have more negative self talk than positive Jim adds context - Jim likes stuff related to our podcast and our wheel. Particularly the self. He goes around our flywheel. When you’re challenging yourself, self talk can creep in Mark says this voice is powerful and not always positive. It’s also often subconscious. Mark reads the definition Mark reads Jung’s 5 archetypes The Good Student The Silent Healer The Starving Artist The Invisible One The Over...

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Mark introduces the topic of trauma and how we respond to trauma This topic came up from some family events and aging and how people respond to trauma Jim brings a framework to the discussion…The 5 “F’s” Jim fits trauma into our flywheel framework. He breaks down the 5 areas and we decide to focus on relationships and The Self We can’t seem to discuss anything without coming back to self awareness Jim got this framework from a podcast he listened to about trauma. The 5 F’s of trauma response are Fight Freeze Fawn Flop Flight Jim thinks most people opt for flight. They run Mark says...

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Imperfect Mens Club

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I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it.

What we cover

  • Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval.

  • Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition.

  • Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily “surrender” list.

  • Belonging and contribution. Underneath our titles and paychecks, most people want the same two things: to belong and to contribute—and to be appreciated for it.

  • Leadership blind spot. Great leaders praise in public, correct in private. Appreciation is the most missing leadership behavior I see.

  • Environment matters. Negative rooms and isolation will eat your mindset. Choose your company and your inputs.

Mark’s daily practice (the muscle)

I share my three-part morning ritual:

  1. Love: I send quick love/thanks toward five arenas—God, my kids, my work, my health, my girlfriend.

  2. Surrender: I write down the junk (comparison, regret, self-doubt, impatience, pride… about 7–8 items) and hand it off to God—“They’re yours for today.” I ask my inner critic (the “little guy”) to be kind.

  3. Visualize: I picture the life I’m building and the energy I’ll bring into rooms. Most days the payoff is quiet; some days it hits like a wave.

Jim’s story: gratitude → impact

Jim walks us through his 18th annual Hayward High Football Alumni Campout:

  • Full varsity team in his backyard. Food, mentorship, standards.

  • Message #1: Show up. Ninety percent of life is showing up—on time, every time, prepared.

  • Message #2: Transitions matter. From “last whistle” (football) to “last bell” (graduation) to real life. Keep showing up when the spotlight moves.

  • Message #3: Filtration is real. Life tries to filter you out. Earn your way into the 10% who keep going.

  • A moment of firm kindness: A junior who lost eligibility asked to come. Jim told him no—then challenged him to fix his grades and earn it next year.

  • The payoff: former players are now coaches, ADs, husbands, fathers—and they came back to lead. That’s impact you can touch.

Quotes we reference

  • “All comparison leads to misery.”

  • “Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”

  • “People may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Why this matters (to you and me)

  • Self-gratitude is internal work. It’s how you talk to yourself when no one’s around.

  • It changes rooms. I walk into trainings and tell myself: I’m going to light this room up. Gratitude fuels that.

  • It sustains legacy. Not ego—purpose. Belonging + contribution over time becomes your life’s work.

Try this this week

  • Write a 3-line gratitude check each morning (love → surrender → visualize).

  • Praise someone in public today. One sentence. Be specific.

  • Audit your inputs: one negative feed out, one positive conversation in.

  • Do one “show up” rep when you don’t feel like it. Then notice how you talk to yourself afterward.

Quick CTA

If this hit you, share it with a friend who needs it—and rate/review the show on Apple. One or two sentences helps more than you think. Thanks for listening.