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Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 09/04/2025

Self Discipline - A Stoic View of Imperfection show art Self Discipline - A Stoic View of Imperfection

Imperfect Mens Club

  Episode 43: Self Discipline. A Stoic View of Imperfection Summary In this episode, Mark and Jim explore self-discipline through the lens of Stoic philosophy. They unpack five timeless rules that still hold up in a world full of distractions, dopamine hits, and excuses. The conversation spans modern habits, mental toughness, guilt, accountability, voluntary discomfort, and the deeper connection between self-awareness, self-trust, and real personal growth. The core message: self-discipline isn’t perfection. It’s the small, unglamorous, repeatable reps you keep showing up for. What We...

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Self-Projection, Narcissism & Radical Accountability show art Self-Projection, Narcissism & Radical Accountability

Imperfect Mens Club

Short Episode Description In this episode, Mark and Jim unpack self-projection: how it shows up consciously and unconsciously, how it damages relationships, and what radical accountability actually looks like in real life. They explore narcissistic patterns, the difference between healthy self-presentation and fake personas, and why the simple act of pausing might be one of the most powerful tools you have. Along the way, Mark shares hard-won lessons from a deeply toxic relationship and how he rebuilt his emotional maturity in the years that followed. Episode Summary Mark and Jim start from...

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Why 2025 Could Be the Most Consequential Year of Our Lifetime show art Why 2025 Could Be the Most Consequential Year of Our Lifetime

Imperfect Mens Club

Episode Overview In this episode, Mark and Jim zoom out to the worldview arena of the Imperfect Men’s Club framework and connect four generations, American innovation, AI, capitalism, and historical cycles into one big through-line. The jumping-off point is Jim’s recent trip with his 85-year-old mom to meet his new granddaughter. That experience, paired with a talk he watched about 2025 being a “tipping point year,” sparked a conversation about why history really does repeat itself in 25- and 80-year patterns, how America’s unique mix of freedom and capitalism unlocks innovation, and...

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"I'm Not Good Enough" The Origins And Impact Of Self Limiting Beliefs

Imperfect Mens Club

Episode Summary Mark and Jim dive into the belief that quietly caps potential: “I’m not good enough.” They trace where it starts (childhood messages, school systems, fear, past misses) and how it shows up in adult life: promotions we never ask for, relationships we avoid, work we don’t share, skills we won’t try. Along the way: stories from recruiting, entrepreneurship, parenting after divorce, and reframing regret as proof you care. The Conversation Explores What a self-limiting belief system is Thoughts that feel like facts, internalized from fear, old messages, or past...

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Introspection Without the Spiral: 5 Moves to Get Unstuck show art Introspection Without the Spiral: 5 Moves to Get Unstuck

Imperfect Mens Club

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Reframing The Differences Between Men And Women show art Reframing The Differences Between Men And Women

Imperfect Mens Club

Summary Mark and Jim dive into the “relationships” spoke of the wheel, using a simple moment in a tire shop to unpack a bigger idea: reframing. From there they explore the difference between loving and longing, how past relationships shape current ones, what men and women tend to seek at different life stages, and why self-awareness is the only way any of this works. Mark shares hard-won perspective as a single dad of two daughters and a son; Jim brings a long-married vantage point and a field report from that fish-tank-by-the-waiting-room conversation. The conversation explores...

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Self-Discipline, Routines, and the Quiet Power of Consistency show art Self-Discipline, Routines, and the Quiet Power of Consistency

Imperfect Mens Club

Summary Mark and Jim dig into self-discipline as a daily practice, not a personality trait. They walk through their real-world morning and evening routines, how gratitude and breathwork change your state, why partnerships create accountability, and how three tightly chosen priorities per day compound into a better year. Practical, free, and doable. The conversation explores: What self-discipline actually is: controlling impulses and short-term urges to align with long-term values and intentions, built through practice and simple systems. Morning routines that stick: hydration, oil pulling,...

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Are You A Leader Or Simply In A Position Of Authority? show art Are You A Leader Or Simply In A Position Of Authority?

Imperfect Mens Club

Quick Summary Mark and Jim unpack leadership through the lens of “seasons.” Drawing on John Maxwell’s idea that everyone has a book inside them, they explore how winter, spring, summer, and fall map to personal growth, responsibility, and impact. They also get candid about humility, credibility, and why leadership is more than holding a title—it’s taking responsibility for the well-being of other people. The conversation explores Leadership ≠ Title: The difference between positions of authority and true leadership that models behavior, brings clarity, and takes responsibility for...

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Civil Discourse In A Divided World show art Civil Discourse In A Divided World

Imperfect Mens Club

In this episode of the Imperfect Men’s Club Podcast, Mark Aylward and Jim Gurulé dive into the lost art of civil discourse—why it matters, how we’ve strayed from it, and what it takes to bring it back into everyday life. The conversation explores: Why civil discourse is more than politeness Civil discourse goes beyond surface-level politeness or avoiding conflict. It’s about creating space for real dialogue that expands knowledge, challenges assumptions, and strengthens community. Mark and Jim unpack why this practice is critical for healthy democracies, strong relationships,...

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“Do It Anyway” - The Key To Mining Your Own Personal Gold show art “Do It Anyway” - The Key To Mining Your Own Personal Gold

Imperfect Mens Club

Short Description Mark and Jim unpack “self-alchemy”—turning your life’s raw materials (skills, reps, scars, notes, half-finished ideas) into something valuable. They connect it to the IMC wheel (Profession, Relationships, Money, Health/Well-Being, Worldview), talk about aligning work with values, and make the case for creating consistently despite criticism, delays, or imperfect outcomes. AI shows up not as artificial intelligence but as amplified intelligence that helps curate and ship your life’s work. The refrain: Do it anyway. What We Cover Self-Alchemy defined:...

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I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it.

What we cover

  • Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval.

  • Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition.

  • Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily “surrender” list.

  • Belonging and contribution. Underneath our titles and paychecks, most people want the same two things: to belong and to contribute—and to be appreciated for it.

  • Leadership blind spot. Great leaders praise in public, correct in private. Appreciation is the most missing leadership behavior I see.

  • Environment matters. Negative rooms and isolation will eat your mindset. Choose your company and your inputs.

Mark’s daily practice (the muscle)

I share my three-part morning ritual:

  1. Love: I send quick love/thanks toward five arenas—God, my kids, my work, my health, my girlfriend.

  2. Surrender: I write down the junk (comparison, regret, self-doubt, impatience, pride… about 7–8 items) and hand it off to God—“They’re yours for today.” I ask my inner critic (the “little guy”) to be kind.

  3. Visualize: I picture the life I’m building and the energy I’ll bring into rooms. Most days the payoff is quiet; some days it hits like a wave.

Jim’s story: gratitude → impact

Jim walks us through his 18th annual Hayward High Football Alumni Campout:

  • Full varsity team in his backyard. Food, mentorship, standards.

  • Message #1: Show up. Ninety percent of life is showing up—on time, every time, prepared.

  • Message #2: Transitions matter. From “last whistle” (football) to “last bell” (graduation) to real life. Keep showing up when the spotlight moves.

  • Message #3: Filtration is real. Life tries to filter you out. Earn your way into the 10% who keep going.

  • A moment of firm kindness: A junior who lost eligibility asked to come. Jim told him no—then challenged him to fix his grades and earn it next year.

  • The payoff: former players are now coaches, ADs, husbands, fathers—and they came back to lead. That’s impact you can touch.

Quotes we reference

  • “All comparison leads to misery.”

  • “Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”

  • “People may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Why this matters (to you and me)

  • Self-gratitude is internal work. It’s how you talk to yourself when no one’s around.

  • It changes rooms. I walk into trainings and tell myself: I’m going to light this room up. Gratitude fuels that.

  • It sustains legacy. Not ego—purpose. Belonging + contribution over time becomes your life’s work.

Try this this week

  • Write a 3-line gratitude check each morning (love → surrender → visualize).

  • Praise someone in public today. One sentence. Be specific.

  • Audit your inputs: one negative feed out, one positive conversation in.

  • Do one “show up” rep when you don’t feel like it. Then notice how you talk to yourself afterward.

Quick CTA

If this hit you, share it with a friend who needs it—and rate/review the show on Apple. One or two sentences helps more than you think. Thanks for listening.