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Self Gratitude Is A Muscle That Needs Reps

Imperfect Mens Club

Release Date: 09/04/2025

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Imperfect Mens Club

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I open this one with a simple ask: if our stuff helps you, drop a quick rating/review on Apple. It really does get this message in front of guys who need it.

What we cover

  • Self-gratitude, defined. Appreciating and acknowledging yourself for who you are and what you’ve actually done—without chasing external approval.

  • Bitter vs. better is a choice. The default is bitterness. Choosing better takes practice, self-awareness, and repetition.

  • Regret, comparison, and the inner critic. How we reflect on past choices can inflame regret or dissolve it. Comparison is on my daily “surrender” list.

  • Belonging and contribution. Underneath our titles and paychecks, most people want the same two things: to belong and to contribute—and to be appreciated for it.

  • Leadership blind spot. Great leaders praise in public, correct in private. Appreciation is the most missing leadership behavior I see.

  • Environment matters. Negative rooms and isolation will eat your mindset. Choose your company and your inputs.

Mark’s daily practice (the muscle)

I share my three-part morning ritual:

  1. Love: I send quick love/thanks toward five arenas—God, my kids, my work, my health, my girlfriend.

  2. Surrender: I write down the junk (comparison, regret, self-doubt, impatience, pride… about 7–8 items) and hand it off to God—“They’re yours for today.” I ask my inner critic (the “little guy”) to be kind.

  3. Visualize: I picture the life I’m building and the energy I’ll bring into rooms. Most days the payoff is quiet; some days it hits like a wave.

Jim’s story: gratitude → impact

Jim walks us through his 18th annual Hayward High Football Alumni Campout:

  • Full varsity team in his backyard. Food, mentorship, standards.

  • Message #1: Show up. Ninety percent of life is showing up—on time, every time, prepared.

  • Message #2: Transitions matter. From “last whistle” (football) to “last bell” (graduation) to real life. Keep showing up when the spotlight moves.

  • Message #3: Filtration is real. Life tries to filter you out. Earn your way into the 10% who keep going.

  • A moment of firm kindness: A junior who lost eligibility asked to come. Jim told him no—then challenged him to fix his grades and earn it next year.

  • The payoff: former players are now coaches, ADs, husbands, fathers—and they came back to lead. That’s impact you can touch.

Quotes we reference

  • “All comparison leads to misery.”

  • “Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”

  • “People may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou

Why this matters (to you and me)

  • Self-gratitude is internal work. It’s how you talk to yourself when no one’s around.

  • It changes rooms. I walk into trainings and tell myself: I’m going to light this room up. Gratitude fuels that.

  • It sustains legacy. Not ego—purpose. Belonging + contribution over time becomes your life’s work.

Try this this week

  • Write a 3-line gratitude check each morning (love → surrender → visualize).

  • Praise someone in public today. One sentence. Be specific.

  • Audit your inputs: one negative feed out, one positive conversation in.

  • Do one “show up” rep when you don’t feel like it. Then notice how you talk to yourself afterward.

Quick CTA

If this hit you, share it with a friend who needs it—and rate/review the show on Apple. One or two sentences helps more than you think. Thanks for listening.