#170: The Neuroscience of Agency: How Self-Brain Surgery Restores Family Freedom

Guest: Dr. Lee Warren, Board-Certified Neurosurgeon

Introduction: What if you could change your brain by changing your mind? Board-certified neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren joins us to reveal something revolutionary: you're not stuck with the brain you have. Through groundbreaking neuroscience research, we now know that what you repeatedly think about literally restructures your brain. For parents learning to live from agency instead of control, understanding what's actually happening in your nervous system changes everything. Dr. Warren's new book, The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery: Connecting Neuroscience and Faith to Radically Transform Your Life, releases February 3, 2026.

You're in the right place if:

• You wonder why you keep defaulting to control, even when you want to parent from peace

• It feels impossible to break old patterns even though you know the truth

• Your child struggles with thoughts like "I'm stupid," "I'll never learn," or "everyone else can do this but me."

• You avoid letting your kids struggle because you want to protect them from pain

• You want to understand the neuroscience behind why fear-based parenting creates control operating systems in your children

• You're ready to break generational patterns of fear and shame in your family

Episode Highlights:

Mind vs. Brain - The Revolutionary Truth Traditional neuroscience has taught that your brain generates everything about you—your personality, memories, even your sense of having a mind. But here's the problem: there's no actual science proving this is true. It's just a theory. Through functional MRI imaging developed around 2000, we can now see what really happens: your mind directs your brain, not the other way around. Your brain is like your kidneys or heart—an organ that carries out the interaction of your mind with the world. This changes everything.

The Neuroscience of Fear vs. Gratitude When you're afraid, your amygdala (a walnut-sized area in your limbic system) triggers fight-or-flight responses. It's tiny and can't think well—it can only react. But your hippocampus acts like a one-way switch: it either triggers your amygdala OR your frontal lobes (billions of neurons designed for rational thinking). The deciding factor? Fear or gratitude. You literally cannot be grateful and anxious at the same time. This is exactly what Paul described in Philippians 4:6-8 two thousand years ago: "Don't be anxious, be grateful instead...think about what's noble, true, lovely..." Paul was 2,000 years ahead of neuroscience.

The Auburn University Discovery Dr. Warren shares the pivotal moment at Auburn University's MRI Research Center when he and his wife Lisa watched a patient's brain respond to different thoughts in real-time. When thinking about the worst day of her life, her amygdala lit up, blood pressure rose, heart rate increased. When thinking about her happiest memory, frontal lobes activated, peace indicators appeared, blood pressure and heart rate dropped. That's when God spoke to Dr. Warren: "When you do surgery, you intentionally make a structural change in someone's brain to improve their life. When someone changes from harmful thoughts to helpful thoughts, they're also intentionally making structural changes in their brain to improve their life. That's surgery too—self-brain surgery."

The Power of Anti-Fragility We've been taught that humans are fragile—easily broken and needing protection. But Scripture, neuroscience, psychology, and social science all agree: we're actually anti-fragile. You can't be as strong as you're capable of being without being broken a few times along the way. Romans 5:3-5 explains the process: suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Your mid-anterior cingulate (the part of your brain that handles willpower and resilience) literally gets stronger when you do hard things you don't want to do.

George's Story - From Dyslexia to Fearless Dr. Warren's 7-year-old grandson George couldn't read despite being brilliant at everything else. He was diagnosed with dyslexia and worked with a tutor for 8 months, making up 3 grade years in reading. When George called his grandfather and said, "Pop, I'm a reader!" everyone wept. But here's the lesson: George is now fearless at age 10 because he faced the hardest thing in his life—not being able to read—and overcame it. If his parents had blamed the school or lowered standards, George would still be afraid of things he doesn't know how to manage. Instead, he knows nothing in his entire life will be as hard as learning to read, and he did it anyway.

Mary's Story - From "I'm Stupid" to Syracuse Graduate Janet shares about 10-year-old Mary who had every learning label and refused to pick up a pencil or book. When learning to type, every mistake beep triggered outrage: "I'm stupid, I'll never learn, you hate me." After 3 days, Janet transcribed Mary's words on a whiteboard and asked, "Can we call this list 'lies'?" They created a truth list: next to "I'm stupid" was "I'm capable," next to "you hate me" was "you believe in me." Mary's new instruction: every time she heard the beep, name the truth. Beep. Truth. Beep. Truth. Struggle, truth. In 3 weeks, Mary typed 35 words per minute with 98% accuracy. She recently graduated from Syracuse University on a creative writing scholarship.

The Critical Lesson for Parents Don't just let your kids suffer—teach them to struggle well in truth. Many of us developed unhealthy willpower and over-functioned in dysfunctional environments out of fear, not agency. When you teach children that everything they think isn't true and that even when something is true, there's more to the truth God wants them to see, you're giving them the tools for transformation. Come alongside them. Show them how to confess their story to God, ask Him what's true, then walk in that truth.

The Three Sources of Thoughts Not every thought you think comes from you. Thoughts come from three sources: (1) your brain's automated patterns, (2) yourself and the Holy Spirit, or (3) the enemy. Learning to discern which source is speaking—and training your children to do the same—is essential for self-brain surgery.

Key Takeaways:

1. Start practicing self-brain surgery today. When you're triggered or afraid, confess your actual story to God. Ask Him what's true. Walk in that truth. Let your kids see you do this.
   
   

2. Do one hard thing you don't want to do. Your mid-anterior cingulate cortex gets the signal that you're the kind of person who can do hard things, making all future hard things easier. This works for your kids too.
   
   

3. Let your children suffer when it's safe to do so. Don't protect them from scraped knees, failed tests, or rejected friendship notes. Their brains are built for this. The Bible promises it. Your child needs evidence that they can survive hard things before they face the next hard thing.
   
   

4. Teach the "two truths" practice. When your child says "I'm stupid" or "I'll never learn," acknowledge their feeling ("Yes, this is hard right now") AND teach them to name the truth ("AND you're capable, AND you're learning, AND struggle doesn't define you").
   
   

5. Focus on what you're grateful for, not what scares you. Your hippocampus is a one-way switch—it either activates your fear response or your thinking brain, but not both. Practice gratitude to literally change your brain chemistry and model this for your children.
   
   

6. Remember: the generational chaos ends now. God has declared it, and He's made your mind and brain to promise it's true. You can't give what you haven't received, so do this work for your sake AND your children's sake.
   
   

Closing Thought: "Let your adversity make you more like Christ. It will make you more of who you're supposed to be. The more we stop thinking 'I want to live my own truth and follow my own way' and instead follow His way, the closer we get to Him, the better we use our brains, the better we use our hearts, the more alive we become, the more free we become." - Dr. Lee Warren

 

---

 

Resources:

• Dr. Lee Warren's new book: The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery: Connecting Neuroscience and Faith to Radically Transform Your Life (Available everywhere books are sold, including an audio version read by Dr. Warren)

• Website: DrLeeWarren.com (for books, podcast, YouTube, Instagram, and the School of Self-Brain Surgery)

• Dr. Lee Warren's podcast 

Connect with Love Is Fearless: Email: [e-mail] Contact information for Formation Cohorts and family consulting. Website: John15Academy.com

Together, there is great hope.