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I Think I Jinxed 'Em

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

Release Date: 11/26/2022

Stroke of Luck show art Stroke of Luck

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

It was big. I got lucky. And I'm not sure what to think about it. ----- My wife and I moved to Mobile in 2007. We had four children ages four and under and needed cheap arms and laps – better knowns as family - to help through this overwhelming time. We committed to staying awhile so my wife and I did our best to invest ourselves in our community. That investment manifest itself last week. Last Tuesday morning about 8:30 I was on the treadmill. About 8:35 I was mumbling, drooling, the left side of my face was sagging, and I was leaning against the wall. About 9:20am I was rolled into the...

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Camping show art Camping

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

I've been offered an invitation to go camping... ----- Years ago, my wife and I got a deal on some camping equipment. We headed into the North Carolina mountains to a creek camp site and set up our fancy new tent and tried out our new gear. When night fell, we unpacked our fancy new sleeping bags that were rated to keep us warm well below that night’s low temperature, climbed in, and waited to get warm. And we waited. And we waited. Then we started shivering. Teeth began chattering. After an interminable amount of time, I asked my wife what time it was. “Ten PM,” she said. The night...

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Too Much Bottom show art Too Much Bottom

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

What my wife and I saw on my recent business trip to a Bahamas resort was more than enough. ----- My wife and I spent four nights at a Bahamas resort on a business trip and here are my observations. Here’s what I saw. First, I remember hearing that most traffic accidents happen within five miles of the driver’s home. Seems inverse of what you’d expect. The reason? When you’re driving through your home territory, you’re so familiar with the roads, the traffic, the scenery and such that you let your guard down. The familiarity and the routine make you vulnerable to carelessness. When...

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Roast or Toast show art Roast or Toast

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

My wife invited some friends to a birthday gathering and gave them two options... ------ My birthday was last week. Right now, my wife is inviting friends to dinner and asking them to come and either roast me or toast me and if I were this invitation, I know what I’d do. I’m not sure if it’s me and my friends or just males or just certain types of males, but I’d roast me. My friends and I constantly work hard to roast each other whenever we can. It’s savage exchange whenever we’re together. For example: When I walk into my gym the head trainer starts trash-talking me as soon as he...

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Sad Anniversary show art Sad Anniversary

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

My mother died a year ago. Cleaning out her home office brought about some questions for my father and me as we gathered her things.  ------ My mother died nearly one year ago today. It was March 5th, the day after my birthday. I think of her frequently. Last week, my wife, my daughter, and my son and I placed purple flowers on her headstone for her birthday. Purple was her favorite color. We bought a purple orchid on the way home to remind us of her and it’s now sitting in the kitchen window. Last week I said in an interview that doing these commentaries helps me process things, they...

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How to Embarrass Your Children show art How to Embarrass Your Children

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

Embarrassing your children is a parent's obligation. It happened to me. I'm doing it to my kids. It's part of the contract. ------  Here’s a guaranteed way to embarrass your teenaged child. In a restaurant, say loudly where other diners are close enough to hear: “Your mother and I are going to a clothing optional resort in the Bahamas next week. It will be nice for us to get back in touch with each other.” My fifteen-year-old favorite youngest daughter flushed red, buried her face in her hands, and said over and over again “Please stop, Dad. Please stop.” Which is, for me, a big...

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"Keepin' It Real" Interview with KXCR's Larry Bloomfield

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

"Keepin' It Real" is now broadcast on KXCR in Florence, Oregon. Larry Bloomfield invited me to be a guest on the station's "KXCR Conversations" to talk about the commentaries. 

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The Arc of Beads show art The Arc of Beads

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

The value of Mardi Gras beads peak when they're under no ownership. It's part of the silliness of my favorite time of year. --------- If you’re not listening in the deep south, you may not know that it’s Mardi Gras time for us derelicts and mystics living here on the top lip of the Gulf Coast. Ships from all over the world back in the day delivered a menagerie of people here where they threw their customs and traditions into one big gurgling pot and one of the results is Mardi Gras. The story I tell is that Mardi Gras was a time for people to dispose of food that would spoil during the...

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Anti-Fragile show art Anti-Fragile

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

Thre are three types of people, he said, and my mind has been racing ever since. ------- In a Zoom call this week I chatted with another speaker for an upcoming conference. He and I want our messages complement each other and he offered some of his presentation highlights and one thing he said has rattled around in my head since our call. He said there are three types of people - and when he said this he was quoting someone else but I don’t remember who – he said there are fragile people who when pushed or dropped or damaged, they break. Once broken, they don’t heal. We all kinda know...

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Radio Boy show art Radio Boy

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

There's a tale radio people tell about why they got into radio. Does it apply to me? Well... -------- A story I’ve heard about people in radio is that many of them share a similar childhood experience: They tried to get their parent’s attention but their parents shushed them – told them to be quiet – they’re trying to listen to the man on the radio. The children begin to think that whatever is coming through the radio speaker is more important than what they want to say and later, those children begin a career in radio to get their parents to listen to them. Is it true? I don’t...

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I think by talking too much about my superstitions, I ended up jinxing the team.

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Well, I think I jinxed them. My sons’ football team fought hard all season and last Friday night they were bested by a very fast and athletic opponent. The boys were gloomy for just a little while. They quickly realized they had overachieved and then they held their heads high. I’m very proud of them.

I guess a jinx and a superstition are two different sides of the same coin. Superstitions are proactive and meant to bring hoped-for results. I once carried a tiny single serving bottle of Tabasco in my travel computer bag because I had never died in an airplane crash as long as it was in there. Superstitions are intentional. And it is my considered opinion – meaning I’ve thought about this for about thirty seconds now - that jinxs bring bad luck and are a realized in hindsight. Such as me talking so much about my superstations for my sons’ football team actually jinxed them. It’s in hindsight that this has now become abundantly clear.

Since it’s the Friday after Thanksgiving you’re wondering if the food hall-pass you gave yourself yesterday to eat and drink much more than a responsible human should is still active. Well, it is. That hall pass lasts until midday Sunday. So, yes, go get the mashed potatoes and a half-dozen Sister Shuberts for breakfast. Dinner, too! Carbs don’t count until midday Sunday. Myself, I’ll be cooking a pound of Bill E’s bacon in the oven and putting it on my Sister Shuberts. It is my considered opinion that Bill E’s Bacon is the best in the world. They’re based in Fairhope. Please don’t even consider raising your voice to argue. I won’t have it.

It's the Friday morning after Thanksgiving that I carefully go through yesterday’s family conversations and try to remember if I offended anyone. Happily, that rarely happens anymore. The whole Marston family - seventeen of us - will have been under one roof last night. Those tight quarters along with the delirium of a food comma and, perhaps, a glass of wine too many may have caused me to run off at the mouth. Friday mornings I retrace my conversational steps and begin rehearsing my apologies if needed. I’ve learned that one pre-emptive apology at 2pm Thanksgiving Day for everything that I might say later in the day or that night doesn’t count. I wish it did.

However, my family seldom goes down those paths anymore. We’re able to keep controversy out of the celebration or, more likely, avoid dangerous topics. And it helps when you really like your family, your in-laws, and your nieces and nephews, and I genuinely do. I don’t want to get sideways with any of them. The same is true with my wife’s family gathering every summer on the Carolina coast. We had sixteen people under one roof for a week last summer and everybody got along. I kinda miss the days when there’d be a misunderstanding, someone would get angry and, if we got lucky, they’d blow up and make a scene.  It offered some wonderful diversions from good cheer and wholesome togetherness and family bonds and all that.

Aww, heck. I’ve probably just jinxed myself again.

I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real.