Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to Attract the Right Ones)
Release Date: 02/21/2025
Beyond Success
Most people, thanks to religious, cultural, or family baggage, carry around the unnecessary burden of toxic sexual shame. Sometimes this isn’t even your own shame, it’s been passed down through generations under the guise of virtue. Here’s the problem: Unchecked sexual shame seeps into your relationships, your leadership, and threatens your very fulfillment of life. Even if it was never yours to carry. That’s why it’s imperative to lift your burden of sexual shame. Not only will it keep your relationships shallow, but it will also shatter your sense of self-trust...
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There’s one ingredient missing from many high achievers’ lives that drains all the fulfillment from their success, turns small failures into a life-or-death scenario, and slowly poisons your relationships at home and at work. Worst part? Most high achievers have conditioned themselves into believing that this missing ingredient is a weakness to be snuffed out at each step. So, they trap themselves in a toxic cycle that keeps repeating no matter how many of the variables they try to change. The missing ingredient? Compassion. Not only is compassion not a weakness,...
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Most people treat fear as the enemy. They avoid it, numb it, or try to silence it. But here’s the truth: fear isn’t the problem. Fear is the forge where courage is born. Every meaningful step in life requires it. Asking for the promotion. Saying what you actually want in a relationship. Telling the truth when it risks your reputation. Without courage, integrity collapses. Relationships stay shallow. Careers stall. And fulfillment slips further out of reach. In this new episode, David reveals why courage isn’t about being fearless, but about acting even while fear screams at you to...
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If you constantly feel on edge, like a wave of anxiety is always crashing directly into your nervous system, then I have some tough news for you: The root of anxiety is almost always a lack of integrity in some aspect of your life. When you tell yourself one thing, but then do another thing, your body keeps score. It knows you’re lying to yourself (and to others). And this is where integrity fractures, causing insurmountable anxiety, agitation, and a complete loss of peace and fulfillment. But you know what? Even if your lack of integrity has caused mental distress, it’s possible to...
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There’s a deep irony that happens to people who chase validation and power at all costs: They’re the ones who end up exhausted, paranoid, alone, burnt out, bitter, and resentful in the long-term. If it hasn't happened yet, it’s only a matter of time. The trouble is, many high achievers fall into this insidious trap of self-sabotage. You may have even noticed some of the signs starting to emerge in your life. There is a solution to this. A way where you build trust with your inner system, and get peace as the result. But it won’t be easy. The solution? Developing...
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There’s an ancient Western myth that’s been adopted by the masses and often without their consent. It can be found in movies like Star Wars and Finding Nemo. It’s in books like The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. It’s the secret theme included in your favorite TEDx Talk. And it’s something that’s taken for granted in almost every business podcast that exists. Worst part? This myth may be responsible for your success… but, if left unchecked, it’s responsible for the low-grade anxiety, under-the-surface numbness, and quiet sadness you feel but never talk about. ...
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Most people I’ve coached have a similar story: They inherited the “Silent Blueprint” lie as a child that told them they must perform, impress, and achieve to feel like they’re enough. And yet, at a certain point, their wins feel like losses. No matter how much they achieve, they go to bed with a dull emptiness in their chest that they can’t explain, much less address. Why? Because no amount of winning fills the void in your internal system. Turns out, the “Silent Blueprint” wasn’t just a lie, but an insidious one that poisons your happiness and fulfillment from the...
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So many high achievers do the “right things.” They read the books. They practice breath work. They follow the morning routines. They “hack” their productivity. All of these things can make them feel calmer, more in control, and more focused. Until chaos erupts, and you find yourself back in your same-old destructive patterns and emotional loops. Why does this happen? Because most personal development is only surface level. And since it’s only surface level, as soon as your deeper parts get triggered, they act in the only way they know how. In other words,...
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Most high achievers are being driven by the absolute worst source of fuel: Fear, guilt, shame, and insecurities. These traps are alluring because they’re actually effective routes to short-term success. And they disguise themselves as grit, discipline, and sheer determination. Problem is… the well eventually runs dry. And that’s the real reason why you feel stuck, uninspired, drained, and like you’re always playing catch up. Worst part? You might feel like you’re being lazy, undisciplined, or just aren’t hungry enough. That’s when most high achievers...
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Many leaders are driven by an insidious fear that tells them their sense of self-worth depends on their ability to protect their mask. But your mask is just an outdated story your subconscious created, and protecting this mask can only drive a wedge between you and your spouse, your kids, and your team. This is why it feels like you’re constantly at war. You are. Feedback morphs into betrayal. Correction morphs into humiliation. Making a mistake makes you feel like you’re being erased. This is not a good way to live - and it’s an even worse way to lead. It leaves nothing but...
info_outlineMost people chalk up their attraction problems to external sources: Maybe they think they need better strategies and skills. Or they believe that dating apps are against them. Or maybe it’s just that they’re unlucky.
Here’s the bad news:
If you've been struggling with attraction, confidence, or relationships, the problem isn't some external force working against you. The real issue is the unconscious patterns, your “Relationship Blueprint,” controlling your life.
Worst part?
Since your mind creates your “Relationship Blueprint” early in your formative years, most people don’t even realize it’s pulling all the strings. And until you face these unconscious patterns, the same unconscious patterns will keep popping up and sabotaging your relationships.
But I also have good news:
In today’s show, you’ll discover how your "Relationship Blueprint” unconsciously sabotages your relationships, how to rewire it, and why you’ll be a more calm, collected, and confident person after rewiring it.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
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The brutal truth about why you keep repeating the same patterns that only lead to frustration and heartbreak (0:34)
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How your shadow twists your fears, insecurities, and anger into a toxic soup in your subconscious that sabotages relationships (and why you must retake control of your shadow for relationship success) (3:34)
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The “Relationship Blueprint” that’s been wired into your mind since childhood that explains every adult relationship you’ve been in (and how to rewire it) (8:51)
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Why outsourcing your confidence to external validation works as a mask, but cripples your true self-esteem (17:13)
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The 4-step healing and transformation process that rewires your “Relationship Blueprint” (23:52)
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: