#382 I'm Confused and That's Great!
Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast
Release Date: 03/16/2024
Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast
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No Regrets - Just Do It -Here's How Have you ever caught yourself holding back, waiting for the “perfect” moment, and later felt that sting of regret? The truth is, regret weighs far more heavily than failure ever could. Failure teaches you something. Regret leaves you stuck, wondering “what if?” In this longer episode of Personal Development Unplugged, I take you deep into how to break free from hesitation, silence that self-doubt, and finally step forward with courage. This isn’t about recklessness — it’s about learning how to live boldly, make choices you’re proud of, and...
info_outlineI'm Confused and That's Great!
Now that's confusing!!!!!!!
It's not the longest episode and all will become clear as you listen - It always does because that's what happens when you learn something new. Confusion becomes clarity.
I'm sharing with you examples of my experiences and explaining why, the how, and those times when we just give up. If only we had waited just a short while.
SO now you can look forward to being confused knowing you're on the right path and ready to springboard to the next level - now that's got to be exciting. :O)
Please share and subscribe:
https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/382-im-confused-and-thats-great/
Shine brightly
Paul
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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism
This podcast is all about why the hell are you confused
So what's on this longer podcast it's all about why the hell are you confused? I'm going to give you some examples how I got so bloody confused and what happened, and to know that it's okay to be confused because when you are, you're on the right path. And I'll explain all of that, because even that's confusing. So just hang on for 10 seconds and then we'll begin. Personal, personal develop, personal developer development. plug, So why do I get so confused? Why do you get so confused? Do you get confused? I get bloody confused sometimes.
And I think I know why.
I think I know why. Years and years and years and years and years ago when, I don't know.
I was probably about 15, 14'15, maybe.
16, I don't know. But I was doing some mathematics, maths, I think some people call it the maths.
And it was advanced maths for the age. And I was pretty good, pretty good. And then something happened.
There was one bit, I just didn't get it at all. Didn't bloody get it. There was nothing happening in my brain. It was if the fog had come.
Down, as if I didn't know anything.
And I knew I had to know.
This to get onto, the next bit. And I just didn't make sense anymore. Just didn't. And I got anxious. I got worried.
I was going through all the stuff that a 15, 16 year old boy does.
And the thing I thought I was.
Good at, suddenly I was crap. I didn't know what was going to happen.
And then, one day, and it wasn't too long after, something happened, and it was if a switch had been changed, pop.
If switches got pop, but a switch had come on and suddenly it's like the aha, moment without knowing it was an aha moment at that age.
I just understood it. It was clear as blooming day what the hell was going on there.
And there's another end of the scale, you see. Another end?
Yeah.
A few years ago, when I was.
In my earlier ish years of doing hypnosis and hypnotherapy and ah, I thought I was bloody good.
Thought I could change the world with hypnosis. And I've been studying and studying and studying and studying and modeling and doing all this stuff and trying to get processes that were really so on the bloody ball. And I was really into it, 100 plus percent. Reading and learning, reading and learning, watching videos, trying to model people on videos, modeling their processes, creating. Because I knew I got them wrong, but I was creating, I thought, better.
Ones because they were working. And I was so there. And then I was with this client.
And I've been doing roughly the same.
Type of stuff, and I was with this client and she was chatting away and I was asking questions as I did. And then that thing happened, but this time with a voice.
I was sitting there looking at her, nodding my head, and the voice inside of me was going, cloughy, you ain't.
Got a fucking clue, have you?
And that's what I said. I'm sorry about the swearing, but that's what I said. You haven't got a clue.
You don't know what to do. I didn't.
And I was talking to myself while I was nodding and looking at it and said, no, I haven't got a clue.
I don't know what to do. Bloody hell. And I going, well, shall I cancel the session? Tell I'm really sorry, really sorry, I can't do it. And then my voice kicked in and.
Said, you ain't doing that, cloughy. You ain't doing that.
Just stay and listen. Just stay and listen. And I did.
And, it didn't take long, because.
Then all of a sudden, sort of, all of a sudden, I asked a.
Question that I didn't know I was going to ask, which seems quite weird. It was. I heard myself ask this question. And that voice inside to me said, that's a fucking good question, cloughy. That really is.
And you know what? That question changed everything.
It changed everything for, her, because.
It was the one question that suddenly reframed everything.
We found the root cause. We knew then the process, what to do. And it just worked so wonderfully well.
But it changed my life there and.
;
Then, in my little old clinic's little room there.
Changed my life forever.
Because gone are the days where I think I know the answer. I think I know what I'm going to do. Because I used to have that. I know this is a phobia, so we got to do a phobia release. We got to do this, we got to do that.
And now I just wait because I.
Sometimes learning in hypnosis can plateau and then get confusing again
Know I've got it all inside. I, know I've got those questions.
But if I just wait for that.
Intuition, that inspiration, it'll happen. Now, that's an extreme example of it happening really quickly.
But maybe I think I know what's happening.
I think I know what's happening.
Because.
I was reminded of my very first training in hypnosis with wonderful wilf proudfoot.
bless him, he's gone now.
He was absolutely such a wonderful, wonderful man.
And he showed me this graph.
Well, not just me, there was other people there. He showed me, like, if you can imagine a graph and it's got the. Was it the y axis and the x axis? Forget what it is. But it was like one is time, and one time goes across the bottom, and you're learning is the vertical axis. And it was going like a nice 45 degree angle, the line. So you learn nothing and then you start. Over time, you start to learn and it gets steeper and steeper. So it's like, not as. It's a 45 degree angle.
It's like a curve getting steeper and steeper. And there's a point in time in your learning that it bloody stops. It just stops.
Sometimes it's like a plateau. Sometimes it's a bit of a jiggity jaggedy line.
For a period of time. Now, that could be like a day.
Or two, like my early, early, earliest.
Experience, or within minutes with that time of the client, or it could be a week, could be anything.
But there's that time when it's as.
If all learning stops.
You don't keep that wonderful rise, whether it's the excitement suddenly goes or it just gets too bloody complicated for you. I think it's because it gets really quite complicated because you're pushing yourself.
I know it's exciting at the time.
And you really want to, but then all of a sudden, you take so.
Much in, everything slows down and it bloody feels like it stopped.
Do you know what?
Everything then in my mind comes confusing, becomes confusing. It's. I'm thinking, I don't know bugger all now. And it's weird.
Now, here's the thing.
What will said was, at the end of that jiggity jaggedy plateau, one line could go downhill very quickly, very rapidly.
Over time, which means you give up. It's too much. This confusion is too much. And I think, ah, I'm not good enough. I'm not this or whatever. I can't do this. I'm not supposed to be here. People are fired. All that rubbishy, bloody limiting beliefs. You get,
And boom, you just give up.
And we've seen things like that with.
Weight loss, haven't we?
That's a typical example. You start to lose weight really quickly and then it just tends to plateau. And sometimes you put on a little bit and then you take, but it's not going off at the same rate.
And we give up. It's like when we're trying to learn a new skill, just like I say.
With that hypnosis, it's a new skill. Oh, it's so good, so good.
Then it just gets bloody confusing.
But you see, instead of that line.
That goes down and we give up.
There'S another line that starts another steep project.
I can't say the word goes off.
At a big angle, at an upright angle, and you start to learn again.
At a rapid state, rate of knots.
State of knots, rate of knots.
And then at the end of that there's another little plateau and maybe a.
Jiggity jaggedy, jiggity jaggedy. And it gets all confusing again. You see, what I think what is happening is sometimes it's like an aha moment at the end of the jiggity jaggedy plateau and allows us to learn. But I think it's like our unconscious mind is saying, hang on a minute, we got a lot of, lots of, I keep swearing a lot of information and we need to make sense of it. We really do, we need to make sense of it. So let's just slow down, let's take a breath, let's just put things in order. I used to think about it like a computer when they used to see that little picture of a defrag. I don't know if you've ever seen that, if you're as old as I am. Used to see a defrag and all the little bits just kept dropping order. Like one of those things you see on. I don't even know what the game is because I don't play games. But things just suddenly were out of order and they start to fit again. And as they begin to fit again, it's as if.
Aha.
Uh-huh. That's what it is. Oh, I got it. So I think it's your unconscious mind.
&
Really sorting things out for you.
And if you know that, you go.
Okay, it's a bit confusing. This is, I'm going to sit here, I'm just going to maybe think about it a bit.
Paul Clough: Think about the things you have learned about confusion
Not a lot, but I think instead.
Of thinking about the confusing bit, just think about the things that you have learned. Because I think if you just sit quietly, maybe just review and write it down in your own words, that's the thing that's going around at the moment. If you write what you know in your own words again, you get it again. So that helps to jiggly jaggly all.
The bits together or just go for a ruddy walk, just go do so do some exercise, do some reading.
Of something completely different. Just do something. So to allow your unconscious mind to put the things together, which are, all there. You've got all the information, just not in the right sequence. Syntax, order and sequence.
I think that's the right definition of syntax.
The order and sequence.
Or is that the same thing?
Who, knows?
I don't care. But when you do that, I know you'll suddenly get it.
You will.
Maybe you just go to meditate, maybe.
Just have bloody fun.
Do something completely different. Exercise is really great, though, and all you have to do is keep.
Returning every now and again, saying to yourself in that David goggins way and without the swear words this time.
I got this. You got this. I got this. I, know all will become clear.
And I want to be like, when that, aha, comes, what will I start to learn even more?
Can you see these wonderful positive questions and statements? And if you go for a walk.
You'Re getting fresh air, you're seeing the beauty of the world. You're getting a little bit of exercise. If you meditate, your mind is just defocusing. If you exercise, you're getting your muscles to go and let your brain muscle have a little rest.
Just because you've.
Been working it hard, like a muscle in the gym. If you really go for some real pump bloody aches, and it's not very mobile for a couple of days, and you let it rest, you rest yourself.
So here's the thing. This thing about confusion is it's not you.
It's not you at all. It just happens. It happens naturally. It's a natural occurring phenomenon.
None, if that's right. So don't worry about it. Go.
In fact, you should celebrate the bloody thing, celebrate being confused, which is a.
Bit counterintuitive, I guess.
So instead of saying, why am I confused?
You go, oh, great, I'm about to learn even more.
I'm about to get that aha, moment. All I got to do is get.
Out my own bloody way. I need to get out my own bloody way and stay with it because.
I know I'm on the right path now. I, know it will only take a small time.
It will come to me. I've got this. And you know you're on the right path. So as you know, you can do whatever you like, completely different.
And you'll notice there are so many.
Different things you could do.
Maybe listen to a hypnosis track. Where'd you get them from Cloughy.
I'm going to tell you, you know.
Well, maybe you don't know because you.
Could be new here. Hopefully I haven't shocked you with a little f bomb now and again.
All you do is go to paulcloffonline.com podcast.
That's Paulcluffonline. All one word.
Yeah, paulcluffonline.com podcast. Sorry, I got confused in my head. I had to wait a minute.
And you'll click on there, you'll get.
A lovely email from me saying, hey, here's your link.
And there you go.
You click on that, you pick on one of 65 processes there so you'll find something to think of, something completely.
Different while your best mate, your best.
Friend is doing the work for you.
Now that's awesome, isn't it? And guess what?
You might even get the most irregular newsletter than you've ever had before. I'm amazed how many newsletters I get. All random from everybody else, as if you're flooded sometimes, but you'll get one or two. Sometimes I do it in audio, sometimes I do in video, sometimes I do it just in writing. They're not very long, but it gives.
You an idea where we are, gives.
You some way to contact me, contacting.
Me rather, if you want to, if you get confused and you'd like some help. But if you think about it, if.
You know that things are gonna, are.
Going to become clear shortly, it's now okay, isn't it? It is okay. And all you have to do is wait and do something pleasurable, something different.
Paul Clough: Why am I confused about this podcast
And just make a time to come.
Back and check in, do that review.
Like I said, I'm reviewing the review now. And sometimes it's good to have that review just to know how far you've come. Because sometimes we forget that with that rapid rate of learning, we get so involved that we forget how much we've learned, how much we're asking our little old muscle in our head to comprehend.
To put in order. You even draw the little graph and go, this is where I am. And there's another big spurt coming.
Yeah, big spurt coming on. Big spurt of learning, that is.
And what fun can you have knowing, that you're on the right path?
And it's stretching, isn't it's stretching yourself.
Sometimes stretching, well, doesn't, hurt, but it can be a little bit painful, can't it?
If you're really just stretching muscles, you're stretching yourself.
You're putting yourself out there. So we'll credit to you.
So if you're confused, I applaud you if this has confused you, I've done a bad job. I hope I haven't done a bad job, I hope I've just had a.
Little chat and thought about, it's not.
The longest of longest podcasts, but I.
Just wanted to go through, why am I confused? Because it can be confusing when you're confused, can't it?
And you could, if you wanted to, just have more fun than you can stand while you're waiting, find something incredibly.
Good and, fun to do for an hour, wallow in the fun, and.
Then come back and notice where you are. It works. It just works.
And I know, as I said, with.
My client, my work with clients now has changed dramatically. They get the results and I enjoy not knowing. Isn't that it's exciting to not know what's going to come out of your mouth?
And the questions that come, where.
Did that come from?
And that's the answer.
And the client goes, wow, that is the answer. Reframing just comes without thinking. When you have to think about bloody things, it's hard. We don't want to do things hard.
We want to have good stuff, which is hard. Anyway, enjoy. Have a good think.
Let me know. And please share this, because, there's so many other buggers out there who are bloody confused, and they need a little bit of, not sympathy, a little bit of compassion, little bit of help. So do share this episode, if you would, please, and know not, no, no, but kn o w no. That if you accidentally share this to everybody, that would be an accident, might confuse them. And if you accidentally press that subscribe follow button, whatever you've got on your little listening machine, that would be really helpful. That would be a helpful accident because it would just help this show get to show, is it? Well, this podcast to get to more people, to hopefully learn, new things, to help them doing what comes naturally and then confusing them as well. Anyway, until the next time, my friend, have more fun than you can stand. Bye bye now.